Compared to Who? Body Image for Christian Women

I know all about battling control and so does today's guest, Shannon Popkin, author of the book, "Control Girl." Today, Shannon and I talk about all things related to how to stop being a controlling woman. We talk about: why women control, how we control, and what some of the antidotes are for control. If you're looking for help on how to stop being this kind of controlling woman, I hope you'll tune in to this delightful and informative conversation. Here are some of the highlights from How to Stop Being a Controlling Woman: Shannon and I share our stories of trying to control our husband's clothing choices (and not in a helpful way!). We talk about where this whole struggle with control began, biblically, and how women have been wrestling control since the days of Eve. We talk about becoming aware of the things we are trying to control and then becoming realistic about what is within our control and what is outside of our control. Controlling our bodies, our food, our families, and other things can have a real (and damaging) impact on our lives. We discuss some of the effect of control. We end with some encouragement for moms who have a prodigal child, are trying to raise "healthy" daughters, and more. You may want to check out Heather's confession of being a controlling woman and how it affected her marriage in this blog post. Mentioned in today's show: Shannon's book, Control Girl - Find it here on Amazon (Amazon affiliate link). https://amzn.to/3oo2URc Shannon's first episode with Heather on comparison. LIsten here. https://comparedtowho.me/podcast-quitting-the-comparison-girl-game-with-shannon-popkin/ Erin Davis's book, Grafitti for girls. (Amazon affiliate link) https://amzn.to/3rpbUYh Get freebies from Shannon here: https://www.controlgirl.com Connect with Shannon here: https://www.shannonpopkin.com or on Instagram or Facebook. Offers from Compared to Who? Connect with Heather: Connect with Compared to Who? take the body image quiz and get the free walking workout here: https://www.comparedtowho.me Ready to support Compared to Who? on Patreon and join our Patreon community? Learn more here: https://www.patreon.com/comparedtowho Loving the show? Leave a review! Find out more here: https://www.comparedtowho.me/podcast Ready for coaching? Learn more here: https://www.comparedtowho.me/coaching Leave a voice message with a question for the show or a comment about how the show has blessed you. Use the speak pipe link at the bottom of this page: https://www.comparedtowho.me/podcast Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

You asked for more 7 minutes of scripture episodes...so today we'll tackle Esther chapter 2 in about seven minutes (or 17 minutes...it's a full chapter!) Today we look at how for Esther beauty didn't lead to a fairy tale. Too often the story of Esther is presented as a rags-to-riches, inspirational tale--like the Cinderella story of the Bible. But the reality of Esther's story is much harder than that. And, though Esther had tremendous beauty--she had beauty for a purpose. God gave her great beauty but that didn't make her life easy. Instead, it got her thrown into what we'd now call a form of slavery where she was used and tossed aside at the king's pleasure. She had no freedom or autonomy, even after she was named his queen. In this episode we talk about the reality that beauty doesn't always lead us to easy places. In fact, for Esther, it was quite the opposite. But, God gave her everything she needed to accomplish his purpose for her life--and that purpose was to save the Jewish people. Read the entire book of Esther after you listen for even greater insight into the story. Esther: Beauty Doesn't Always Lead to a Fairy Tale Listen and learn about the reality of Esther's story and stay tuned to the end where we explore some takeaways to apply to your life and struggles today. Are you on Compared to Who's exclusive email list? Join here and take the free body image quiz and download the free "Walk to Lose the Weight of Comparison."   Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Who has a brain that just won't turn off? I do! Today we talk with the Mindset Makeover Coach, Alicia Michelle about how to find rest by focusing on what we're thinking (and overthinking) about. If you've wondered how to stop the brain from overthinking, today will be a super helpful show for you. In this series on habits that will actually change our year, we talk about how important it is to rest. But, instead of talking about getting more sleep or turning off Netflix, Alicia talks about how in order to truly experience rest we have to first address what's going on in our brains and we have to help them rest. If you are an over-thinker or a "brain won't stop" kind of person, today's show will be a huge help to you! Alicia and I talk about: Why our brains compare us to others. Why we can't rest when we're relying on old patterns of thinking to tell us how to be or act. How our desire for approval can prohibit us from resting. How to deal with disappointment. How finding a healthy definition of success is vital. How to find peace so we can rest! If you've ever struggled with overthinking, lying in bed with a brain that won't turn off, or you feel like you're constantly going because your brain won't give you a rest--this show is for you. Want more information on how to stop the brain from overthinking? Connect with Alicia and get her free goodies here: https://www.vibrantchristianliving.com Connect with Compared to Who? and get on the insiders list, take the body image quiz, and get the free walking download here: https://www.comparedtowho.me Check out Heather's book, The Burden of Better referenced in today's show. You can start reading the first two chapters free! Listen to other shows with similar topics here: How to Transform Your Thought Life How to Hush the Hustle   Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

This is part 2 of a conversation with Amy Carlson, MS, RD, LD on the topic of fasting. In the last episode we discussed whether or not someone with an eating disorder or recovering from an eating disorder should try fasting and what the dangers and challenges are surrounding that. Today, we dig deeper into scripture. We look at the Daniel Fast, Sugar Fasts, and uncover the truth about biblical fasting and answer the question: Should Christians who have had an eating disorder or disordered eating fast? Yes, fasting is a spiritual discipline and a biblical concept. Listen to part one of this interview here titled: Should I fast if I had an eating disorder or suffer from disordered eating? Should Christians With An Eating Disorder Past Do the Daniel Fast or a Sugar Fast? But, today Amy and I look at the ways in which we may have distorted the beauty of fasting to seek God's face and replaced it with fasting to get skinny or have smoother skin. We discuss the ways in which fasting has been co-opted by Diet Culture and how there are better words and concepts we should use if we want to talk about cutting certain items out of our diets or lives--words that don't obstruct the sacredness of the concept of fasting. Amy and I start this episode by digging in where we left off last time -- examining Daniel 1:15 in the ESV that talks about how Daniel and friends were "fatter in appearance" after their 10 day fast. We look at the miracle of this, what we misinterpret about this passage, and why Christians should think twice before trying to eat like Daniel or interpreting this passage as a biblical instruction for how to eat now. We also talk about sugar fasts and how they may make your body look good but can be harmful for those who still don't have a healthy relationship with all foods. If you're trying to recover from an eating disorder or stuck in the rut of feeling afraid of certain foods, a sugar fast could put you on the wrong track. Here are some of the passages we look at in today's show about fasting, Christians and the practice of fasting, and biblical fasts: Isaiah 58 - the whole chapter is on fasting but Amy digs in to verses 5-11 especially. Daniel 1 - the entire story of Daniel and his friends in the palace and their experience with refraining from the king's food. Matthew 6:16 - a verse on how to not look like the Pharisees when you fast. Link to the book Heather referenced on fasting, Fasting by Scot McKnight (Amazon affiliate link) Connect with Compared to Who? by joining the Compared to Who? insiders email list here: https://www.comparedtowho.me  If you're on Facebook, join the new Compared to Who? insiders group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/comparedtowho Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Sugar fasts. Daniel fasts. Lenten fasts. Churchwide fasts. Intermittent fasting. There is so much talk about fasting in our culture today, that it can become confusing to figure out what the Bible says about fasting versus what our culture (and Diet Culture) teaches about its role. Today, Amy Carlson, MS, RD, LD - a registered, non-diet dietician and I talk about all things fasting. We tackle some BIG questions and leave you to do some heart searching and questioning too. Heather shares her hilarious adventures with sugar fasting and Lent, but also talks about what happens when she tries to fast with her church because of her eating disorder history. This is a must-listen, paradigm changing episode. The big topic in this episode (part 1 of 2) is the question: Should I fast if I had an eating disorder? Amy and Heather also talk about the following: What is the biblical definition and purpose for fasting. Why much of what we call "fasting" may actually be dieting for Jesus How to know if fasting is triggering you to go back to ED behaviors How to know if you can fast after recovery and ways to make sure it doesn't trigger a relapse What the Bible REALLY teaches us about fasting (especially in Daniel) Learn more about Amy Carlson, get the Peace with Food App, or connect with her here: https://www.hellopeacewithfood.com Connect with Compared to Who? to take the Body Image Quiz and download your "Walk to Lose the Weight of Comparison" walking workout here: https://www.comparedtowho.me Have you read Heather's 10 Day Reading Plan on You Version yet?  Learn more here: https://comparedtowho.me/read-plans-from-heather-creekmore-on-youversion-the-bible-app/ Do you have a question you'd like to have tackled on the show? Send it to Heather at heather @ compared to who (dot) me.   Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

If you're familiar with scripture, you've likely heard the instruction to be transformed by the renewing your mind--an instruction from Romans 12. But how do we renew our minds? What does it look like to renew our minds in the body image arena? Is changing how you think about your body even possible? Today Heather talks with Barb Raveling about all sorts of helpful things in this arena. Barb instructs us how to renew our minds from a macro perspective, and from a micro-perspective. Barb even walks Heather through an exercise of how she would change what she thinks and the action she takes after she feels like she's been overeating and gained weight. Here are a few other things we talk about in relation to changing how you think about your body: How do we stop condemning ourselves for the way our bodies look. What practical habits do we need to change or add so we can be in the regular practice of renewing our minds. How we have to capture our thoughts before we can change them. What do you do when your brain defaults to,  "I'm horrible unless I look like that" mode. Why most people don't really care what we look like (even if we're obsessing over it.) How the "high school cheerleader" scenario may teach us something about our value and our bodies. Asking the question: "Can I believe that what God says about me is what's most important?" How to have weapons prepared to fight before you go in the spiral and once it starts! There's so much good stuff in this episode, you just may want to listen twice. Learn more about Barb and check out her renewing the mind tools or learn more about her Renewing of the Mind book here: https://amzn.to/3Fqi65U (Amazon affiliate link. A tiny portion of your purchase goes to Compared to Who's ministry.) Plus check out Barb's brand new Bible study on the book of James here.  Want to really get into scripture this year? Check out Heather's new Compared to Who? plan on You Version.  Have you taken the Body Image Quiz and gotten your free Walk to Lose the Weight of Comparison workout yet? Sign up here: https://www.comparedtowho.me Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Today I'm inviting you to eaves drop on my very first intuitive eating coaching call. Today, my coaches are Erin Todd and Char-Lee Cassel, hosts of the Intuitive Eating for Christian Women podcast. They've been on the show before and now they're back to help ME figure out how to become a more intuitive eater. My biggest struggle, as we talk about today, is: What do I do about my mindless eating? Erin and Char-Lee guide me through a process of thinking about my habits and examining them in a non-judgmental, grace-filled way. We talk about my mindless eating while I work or tackle "hard tasks" on the computer. Stick around to the end of the show if your mindless eating happens in front of the television or at other times--we discuss this too. If you're new to Intuitive Eating or are wondering if Intuitive Eating would be good for you, I hope you'll give it a listen. Do you struggle with mindless eating too? Have another question about intuitive eating? Drop Heather a line so you know you're not alone. Plus, she may be able to get your question answered in an upcoming coaching call. Heather @ Compared to Who (dot) me. Want to learn more about Erin and Char-Lee? Listen to their podcast or read about them here. Listen to the other episodes I recorded with Erin and Char Lee here (https://comparedtowho.me/all-roads-lead-to-intuitive-eating-what-we-learned-about-dieting/ ) and here (https://comparedtowho.me/dieting-causes-weight-gain-other-truths-about-eating/ ) Want to connect with Compared to Who? Sign up for our email list so you know what episodes are coming! Plus you can take the free body image awareness quiz and download your free "Walk to Lose the Weight of Comparison" walking workout. Learn more here: https://www.comparedtowho.me Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

This month we're talking about resolutions that will actually change your year and your life. One of the most important things we can decide to pursue each year is growth with God through Bible reading. But, it's not always easy. Let's be honest, sometimes it's hard to get into God's word. It may feel boring, it may be hard to understand, or we may not even know where to begin. Today we'll talk about how to make Bible reading more interesting, or shall I say, spicy! Today's guest brings the spice! Stephanie Rousselle leads an organization called Gospel Spice and she has a podcast also called Gospel Spice. Stephanie helps people make their relationships with God "spicier" but shining light on the truth of the Gospel and uncovering just how flavorful that really is. Today Stephanie and I talk about how to make Bible reading more interesting. Specifically we chat about: Why being in God's word everyday is important but how to change your perspective from thinking about it as a duty. Why it can be hard for us to feel like the Bible is interesting to read. How to reframe the way we think about reading the Bible so we can't wait to dig in. The reality of how distractions will happen when you try to read your Bible. The importance of setting up a routine that works for your season and stage in life. If you're ready to start reading the Bible daily but aren't sure where to start, check out Heather's 10 day Bible Reading Plan on You Version, the Bible App. It's a great place to start.   Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

I always get revved up at the beginning of the new year for a fresh start, a new journey. But in today's show I explore how, many years, I put myself on the wrong path. Looking at the classic story from John Bunyan's, "A Pilgrim's Progress" we take a deeper look at how easy it is for us, as Christians, to get distracted from the one path we should be on. You'll be encouraged by this allegory and how it applies to our lives as we approach a new year! Today Heather asks: "What journey are you on?" Is it a journey to be healthier? A journey to be more organized? A journey to be a better mom, wife, friend, or sister? No matter what your journey, it's important to not forget the ultimate journey that every Christian is on. I know, personally, I spent most of my life on a journey to be thinner. I treated "thin" like a destination, like a magical place I'd arrive at and everything would be better in my life. Through the ups and downs of my weight struggle, I've recognized that thin is not a destination and that over-focusing on it distracts me from my true path. Mentioned in Today's Show: Pilgrim's Progress Movie 2019: https://amzn.to/32P5wjk  (affiliate link) ReFOCUS21 online body image and food freedom course: https://comparedtowho.me/refocus-christian-body-image-course-online/ Compared to Who? the blog Compared to Who? book Get on the Compared to Who? Insiders list and take the body image quiz (and get a free walking workout) The Burden of Better Book: How a Comparison Free Life Leads to Joy, Peace, and Rest Other Episodes and Podcast Series Mentioned Today: 30 Days to Pray for Your Body Image: https://comparedtowho.me/category/30-days-to-pray-for-body-image/ Spring Break Free - 30 Day Series to Break Free from Body Image Issues: https://comparedtowho.me/category/spring-break-free-body-image-course/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

It's a new year and everywhere you look you'll find advice for getting a "new you in 2022!" In today's show we take a different, unconventional approach to looking at the most effective ways to meet our goals this year. I'll share with you the three secrets to meeting your body image and other goals this year: Look Up, Look Out, and Look Away. Mentioned in Today's Show: ReFOCUS21 online body image and food freedom course: https://comparedtowho.me/refocus-christian-body-image-course-online/ Compared to Who? the blog Compared to Who? book Get on the Compared to Who? Insiders list and take the body image quiz (and get a free walking workout) The Burden of Better Book: How a Comparison Free Life Leads to Joy, Peace, and Rest Other Episodes and Podcast Series Mentioned Today: 30 Days to Pray for Your Body Image: https://comparedtowho.me/category/30-days-to-pray-for-body-image/ Spring Break Free - 30 Day Series to Break Free from Body Image Issues: https://comparedtowho.me/category/spring-break-free-body-image-course/ Why Self Love is not the answer and What the Bible Teaches About Self Love, Self Esteem and Body Image: https://comparedtowho.me/what-the-bible-teaches-on-self-esteem-self-love-and-body-image/ Here's a snippet of the transcript from the end of today's show: Okay – elephant in the room this time of year is always 'How am I going to lose weight." Or, most of us have been programmed now to say, "How am I going to get healthier" – We've learned that diet culture is bad and so now we use the word health to make it all sound better! Who can argue with health? According to the BMI chart, diet culture, and what we see on Instagram need to lose a few pounds to be "HEALTHY". Now –again – we'll deal with whether or not these systems and influencers are the best authorities in a second – but let's leave it for now. It doesn't really matter what they say - we feel it? Right. The holidays were fun. We ate foods we wouldn't normally eat and part of us, just physiologically, craves a healthier way. Our pants feel tighter and we don’t want to go buy new ones because we ate too many cookies in December. Friend, I get it. But, here's what I want to encourage you with today. Feeling shame over your holiday eating, feeling pressure to "lose the weight" since it's January, and going back to the chains of dieting or following this plan or that program is not going to put you where you want to be this time next year. How do I know? What if this IS your year to actually stick to it and make it work? I know because diets don't work – at least not long term. That's why my third tip for you today is when you see all the "Get a new body QUICK" messages you choose to LOOK AWAY. So last Fall I interviewed several dieticians and got turned on to the concept of Intuitive Eating in a more formal way. I have almost finished reading the updated version of the original Intuitive Eating book – and I'm flabbergasted. So many of the things I write about in Compared to Who? that came from experiential knowledge for me – were written in that book! No wonder some people didn't think the book was as original as I thought it was! The Intuitive Eating book – though not a Christian book at all – even talks about body image idolatry! It doesn't use those terms exactly, but it talks about how diet culture has created an image we should all ascribe and bow down to – That sounds a lot like idolatry to me! I know God set me free from body image issues almost a decade ago. But, the lingering threads of decades of dieting were still hanging on there. When I wrote Compared to Who? I didn't really know what to do about it – I knew that the heart issues surrounding body image had to be dealt with before the physical. Yet, I wouldn't have told you at that point that diets were bad. Honestly, I was probably limiting carbs or sugar-fasting while writing that book. At the time I believed that dieting was more about my health goals and body image was more about my spiritual struggle. Yes, I saw how they connected – I saw how it may have been God's grace to not ZAP me skinny everytime I started a new diet – because that "achievement" would have made me bow to the body image idol and serve it. Now, I'll be honest, I'm still trying to sort it all out. Is it okay to want to lose weight? Part of me still believes it is. But, after my interviews this Fall – I wonder if the REASON I believe that has more to do with the lies and beliefs I've adopted from diet culture instead of the truth that God made people in different body shapes and sizes. I'm still sorting this out my friends. I'm also still sorting out how to just "BE" with food. As we talked about in the first part of the show – I know what to DO with food. Tell me the rules, and I'll follow them. But, to just be FREE with food, with no rules. That feels scary and dangerous. As I'm learning more about intuitive eating though – it feels like this principle of being free with food is the most important one. Yet, it's the most difficult for those of us who come from a dieting or disordered eating background. We are used to living our lives on a food schedule. We follow the food rules well, and the results are good. We don't follow the rules – and the results (in other words – how are body looks) is bad. Listen to the full show below or wherever you get your podcasts:     Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.