Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic with Jon Seidl

Karla Adkins was successful, active in church, and working in health care—and yet she was dying from alcohol-related liver failure. When Karla’s doctor called and asked if she was OK, Karla said she thought she was dying. Her doctor was honest: “I think you are too.” Yet even surviving liver failure wasn’t enough to make Karla stop drinking and find true freedom. Months later, she returned to drinking because she had never addressed the reasons she needed alcohol in the first place. In this episode, the author and sobriety coach joins host Jon Seidl to discuss alcohol addiction, anxiety, relapse, and the comparison trap that keeps people convinced their drinking isn’t bad enough to be a "real" problem. Karla also shares how she gave alcohol jobs, why shame kept her silent, and how science, compassionate support, radical vulnerability, and above all her faith in Jesus helped her pursue something deeper than sobriety. Get Karla's book: And She Came Tumbling Down: Breaking the Bonds of Alcohol and Creating a Life of FreedomVisit Karla's websiteFollow Karla on Instagram: @karlakadkinsExplore the FREE Veritas Recovery Community to connect with people on a similar journeyGet Gospel-centered addiction recovery resources and help at veritasrecovery.orgFollow Jon: @jonseidlOrder Jon's book: Confessions of a Christian AlcoholicWatch this episode ad-free at The Vertias DailyWe explore: — How anxiety first made alcohol feel like an answer for Karla— What it means to give alcohol a “job”— Why successful people can still experience life-threatening addiction— How cognitive dissonance allows us to explain away dangerous drinking— Why comparing quantities can keep people from seeking help— The moment Karla discovered that her liver was failing— Why shame made exposure feel more frightening than death— How Karla returned to alcohol after her first hospitalization— Why consequences alone cannot create lasting freedom— What alcohol does to anxiety, sleep, and the brain— The importance of compassionate, judgment-free support— Why sobriety and freedom are not the same thing— How science, community, vulnerability, and faith can work together— What Gospel-centered recovery offers beyond “just pray more”Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

When chronic illness took away Natasha Kennedy’s ability to eat, alcohol became the one comfort she believed she had left. Instead of gorging on food, alcohol became her new gluttony. The illustrator behind the beloved children's FatCat series and author of the incredible new book Lacking Nothing: The Year I Lost My Ability to Eat and Found Satisfaction in Christ joins Jon Seidl for an unflinching conversation about alcohol addiction, chronic pain, Christian recovery, fasting, and finding satisfaction in Christ when life leaves an aching emptiness. Natasha was still seeking Jesus, encouraging others, raising her children, and trying to remain faithful. But she had quietly given alcohol a job: It was her reward, her pain relief, her escape, and the one thing she believed she still deserved. Then her husband came home during a freezing power outage and found their young daughter outside in only a diaper. Natasha could no longer avoid what alcohol was costing her. She and Jon discuss the lie that alcohol makes life better, why removing one addiction can leave us vulnerable to another, and what Natasha calls a “fasting mindset”—the daily decision to experience lack without immediately numbing or filling it. Her story isn’t about suffering disappearing. It’s about discovering, in the middle of pain and ongoing illness, that Jesus isn’t merely enough. He is the feast. Get Natasha's new book: Lacking Nothing: The Year I Lost My Ability to Eat and Found Satisfaction in ChristVisit Natasha's websiteFollow Natasha on Instagram: @natashakenneduHeather Kopp's book: Sober MerciesGet Gospel-centered addiction recovery resources and help at veritasrecovery.orgFollow Jon: @jonseidlOrder Jon's book: Confessions of a Christian AlcoholicWatch this episode ad-free at The Vertias DailyWe explore: — How chronic illness caused Natasha to lose her ability to eat— Why losing food involved grief, identity, creativity, and comfort— How alcohol became Natasha’s reward, medication, and escape— Why active Christian faith does not make someone immune to addiction— The night Natasha realized her drinking was endangering her children— Why eliminating one coping mechanism can lead us to replace it with another— What Natasha means by developing a “fasting mindset”— How her husband and friends supported her recovery— The lie that alcohol makes life better— Why recovery allowed Natasha to become more present for her family— Finding satisfaction in Christ while pain and chronic illness continue— Why addressing addiction today is less costly than waiting for tomorrowSupport the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

What do you do when you love someone who won't stop drinking or give up their addiction? Dr. Brenda Fann Katula knows that frustration well. She understood alcohol addiction, withdrawal, and relapse. But none of that could fix her husband. In Part 2 of this two-part interview, Brenda takes us through the final stage of her former husband's destructive behavior. From an intervention, to hallucinations, to putting on a front and doing what she could to protect her kids. But more important than the story, she explains her deepest crisis from this period: her spiritual one. Angry that God hadn’t healed her husband or restored their family, Brenda stopped praying personal prayers and tried to solve everything herself—until exhaustion forced her to surrender. She eventually recognized, though, that her prayers had an interesting through line: they all focused almost entirely on changing her husband rather than asking God for the healing, strength, and wisdom she needed. We talk about her faith, her frustration, and her final surrender. We also discuss boundaries, gaslighting, unanswered prayer, repeated forgiveness, identity in Christ, and the thing her husband left behind that went from a painful reminder to a powerful retreat. This important interview is crucial for friends and family members looking for hope. Listen to Part 1 here.Follow Brenda on Instagram: @brendafannkatulaArticle: What does it actually look like to forgive?Get Caroline Beidler's book for loved ones, When You Love Someone in Recovery Get Gospel-centered addiction recovery resources and help at veritasrecovery.orgFollow me: @jonseidlOrder my book, Confessions of a Christian AlcoholicWatch this episode ad-free at The Vertias DailyWe explore: — Why Brenda staged an intervention after her husband threatened to drive to daycare intoxicated— How severe alcohol withdrawal led to hallucinations, a hospital escape, and an ICU ventilator— Why Brenda pressured a doctor to keep her husband from driving their children— What happened when unanswered prayer became anger at God— How Brenda’s prayers shifted from changing her husband to asking God to heal and strengthen her— Why recognizing gaslighting doesn’t eliminate the need for personal self-examination— How forgiveness can be repeated without calling the damage acceptable— Why her husband’s alcoholism increased her empathy for patients with addiction— How an unfinished treehouse became a place of study, service, and redemptionSupport the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Dr. Brenda Fann Katula knew how to recognize alcohol addiction in an exam room. But when alcoholism took over her own home, the family physician who understood the diagnosis could not figure out how to make her husband choose sobriety—or explain to her nine-year-old son why Daddy wouldn't stop drinking. The warning signs had been there from the beginning, like the handle of rum she expected to last for weeks disappearing in a weekend. Over time, his drinking escalated to a handle a day, a blood-alcohol level of 0.4 (enough to kill some people), severe withdrawal, hidden bottles, hospital stays, confused in a cornfield, and eventually death. In Part 1 of this incredible two-part interview, Brenda explains the turning points that forced her to confront the truth, the safety plans she created for her children, and what she wishes she had done differently. She also explain one of the hardest, but most important, realizations the loved one of an addict / alcoholic can make: “I can’t work harder at his sobriety than he is." Her husband had lost his parents and older sister in a car accident when he was ten and carried unresolved trauma, depression, anxiety, and PTSD. Now, Brenda is doing what she can to make sure the cycle of hurt, pain, and addiction doesn't claim another victim—whether that's the addict, or those he or she leaves behind. We also talk about boundaries, enabling, church support, and what loved ones can do when they want recovery more than the person struggling does. It's an important episode for anyone who loves someone who struggles with an addiction and is asking, "What do I do when my friend, loved one, sibling, or spouse won't stop drinking?" Follow Brenda on Instagram: @brendafannkatulaGet Caroline Beidler's book for loved ones, When You Love Someone in Recovery Get Gospel-centered addiction recovery resources and help at veritasrecovery.orgFollow me: @jonseidlOrder my book, Confessions of a Christian AlcoholicWatch this episode ad-free at The Vertias DailyWe explore: — Why a physician could recognize alcoholism in her patients but resist seeing it in her marriage— How childhood trauma, depression, anxiety, and PTSD contributed to her husband’s drinking— What a 0.4 blood-alcohol level revealed about the severity of his dependence— How gaslighting caused Brenda to question her judgment and chase his accusations— The three moments that forced her to admit something had to change— How Brenda protected her children without teaching them to hate their father— Why love, medical knowledge, and hard work could not produce his sobriety— How recovering alcoholics in their church recognized the signs and showed upSupport the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Podcaster Jeanette Tapley doesn’t call herself an alcoholic. But after one sober month, she realized she had a problem with her drinking—and that the second glass of wine she couldn't say no to was doing a job she was hesitant to admit: It gave her the foggy relief she wanted when life felt heavy. Her Christian faith then forced a hard question: Why did alcohol feel easier than trusting God? "I don't have a drinking problem; I have a problem with my drinking," she explains about what she discovered. Jeanette’s story isn’t about a dramatic rock bottom. It’s about recognizing an unhealthy relationship before it becomes a catastrophe. In this episode, she shares how grief, stress, and family pain gradually turned drinking, scrolling, and other distractions into ways of checking out. That's something we all do, isn't it? We talk openly about boundaries, accountability, and obedience that helped Jeanette respond to conviction; why Christians often give alcohol a pass as a coping mechanism; why the Gospel invites us to get curious before the world thinks we have a problem; and also why Jeanette still has a drink from time to time. She also opens up about leaving her successful role as a Christian podcaster, facing her fear that changing direction meant failure, and following God into an unexpected new career as a flight attendant. Get Jeanette's newsletter: https://jeanettetapley.comFollow her on Instagram: @jeanettefreakingtapleyGet Gospel-centered addiction recovery resources and help: veritasrecovery.orgFollow me: @jonseidlOrder my new book, Confessions of a Christian AlcoholicWatch this episode at The Vertias DailyWe explore: — The difference between having a drinking problem and having a problem with your drinking— Why Jeanette wanted the foggy relief that came with a second glass of wine— How grief, stress, and family pain can gradually turn life into a series of coping mechanisms— Why immediate relief can feel easier than trusting God— The boundaries, accountability, and obedience that helped Jeanette change— Why Jeanette still drinks occasionally—and why I cannot— Leaving Christian podcasting and following God into an unexpected new careerSupport the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

What do you do when God seems silent? How do you even hear God's voice? International speaker and author Em Tyler knows what it's like to struggle to hear God. She joins host Jon Seidl for an honest conversation about hearing God, abiding in Christ, prayer, and discerning the Holy Spirit. For those struggling with addiction or walking in recovery, these aren’t abstract questions. Sometimes we’re asking God for new direction while overlooking what He has already made clear. Em explains why Christian maturity actually means becoming more dependent on Jesus, not less, and how Scripture, humility, ordinary promptings, forgiveness, and simple obedience help us recognize His voice. Hearing God doesn’t have to be mysterious. Sometimes it looks like trusting Him enough to do the next right thing. Connect with Em: https://www.emtyler.com/Listen to her "Grow +Go Podcast": https://emtyler.substack.com/podcastRead Em's writing: https://emtyler.substack.com/Follow her on Instagram: @helloemtylerGet Gospel-centered addiction recovery resources and help: veritasrecovery.orgFollow me: @jonseidlOrder my new book, Confessions of a Christian AlcoholicWatch this episode at The Vertias Daily We Explore: — What abiding in Christ actually looks like in everyday life— Why Christian maturity means becoming more dependent on Jesus, not less— How to discern God’s voice without pretending certainty— What God’s silence may reveal about obedience and surrender— How Scripture helps us test what we think we’re hearing— Why forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration are not the same thingSupport the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Amber Ginter Johnson spent seven years trapped in an eating disorder and exercise addiction rooted in trauma, fear, and a desperate need for control. What began as “healthy eating” became orthorexia, severe food restriction, obsessive calorie counting, and compulsive exercise—even jogging in place for three hours a day. Then Amber broke her foot, abruptly ending the routine that had controlled her. Yet stopping the behavior did not heal every wound beneath it. “I think a lot of people see healing as a linear process,” she says. “It’s really not.” Amber shares how God used therapy, medication, Scripture, community, Sabbath, and practical boundaries in her Gospel-centered recovery—and why receiving help is not a failure of faith. Connect with Amber: AmberGinter.comFollow her on Instagram: @AmberGinterAuthorListen to Amber’s podcast: “Authentically Amber”Get her free faith and mental-health resourcesGet Gospel-centered addiction recovery resources and help: veritasrecovery.orgFollow me: @jonseidlOrder my new book, Confessions of a Christian AlcoholicWatch this episode at The Vertias Daily We explore: —How family chaos and trauma fueled Amber’s need for control—How healthy eating became orthorexia, food restriction, and exercise addiction—The secrecy and extreme behaviors that kept Amber’s struggle hidden—How a broken foot interrupted her seven-year cycle—The difference between immediate deliverance and lifelong recovery—Why healing isn’t always linear—How therapy, medication, Scripture, Sabbath, and practical boundaries supported Amber’s recovery—Why receiving help isn’t a failure of faithSupport the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Arman Kaymakcian’s (Ky-mock-chin) journey from childhood sexual abuse and heroin addiction to faith in Jesus Christ began in unimaginable darkness. After years of using food, marijuana, drug dealing, and eventually intravenous heroin to escape his pain, Arman reached a point of suicidal desperation. He planned to step in front of a train—but walked into a psychiatric ward instead. That night, Arman opened a Bible to Psalm 88, a lament that ends, “Darkness is my closest friend.” Then, just as he was preparing to leave the hospital, he received an extraordinary phone call inviting him back to Keswick Colony of Mercy, a Christian addiction recovery program. In this episode of Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic, Arman shares how Jesus met him in the darkest moment of his life. He talks about the agony of heroin withdrawal, nights spent reading Scripture and praying beside a fireplace, and the Christian community God used to help rebuild his life. “I think we’re all looking for the peace of Christ, but we don’t realize it,” Arman says. “People are getting little doses of counterfeit peace here and there.” He also explains why Gospel-centered recovery involves more than sobriety. After finding freedom from heroin, he continued battling pornography and had to learn the importance of repentance, obedience, accountability, and radical vulnerability. Today, Arman is a husband, father, and author. His story shows how Jesus exposes our counterfeit sources of peace, meets us in our darkness, and redeems what we never could. Arman's Books: He Calls Me Redeemed and He Meets Us in the DarkTreatment center: America's KeswickArman's website: armankaymakcian.comFollow Arman on InstagramGet Gospel-centered addiction recovery resources and help: veritasrecovery.orgFollow me: @jonseidlOrder my new book, Confessions of a Christian AlcoholicWatch this episode at The Vertias Daily We explore: —How Arman’s childhood sexual abuse shaped his search for escape—The progression from food and marijuana to drug dealing and intravenous heroin use—Why the things we use to numb ourselves offer only “counterfeit peace”—The suicidal plan that led Arman to a psychiatric ward—Why Psalm 88 spoke to him when darkness felt like his closest friend—The extraordinary phone call that arrived as he was preparing to leave the hospital—The agony of heroin withdrawal and the long nights Arman spent praying and reading Scripture—How Christian community helped Arman slowly become himself again—Why conversion and sobriety didn’t immediately remove every struggle—Arman’s ongoing battle with pornography after finding freedom from heroin—The roles of repentance, obedience, accountability, and radical vulnerability in recovery—Why following Jesus means giving him access to every room in our lives—What distinguishes Gospel-centered recovery from simply stopping a destructive behaviorSupport the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

We know how to talk about alcohol, pornography, drugs, and other destructive behaviors. But there is another substance Christians regularly use for comfort, escape, reward, and emotional relief. It’s present at nearly every church gathering, woven into our traditions, and rarely questioned. We’re going somewhere in this episode that we’ve never gone before. We’re confronting an addiction that is deeply embedded in the church, widely accepted among Christians, and often willfully ignored—not because it’s rare, but because so many of us are trapped in it. The substance is food—especially sugar. “Food is the good girl’s alcohol.” Kristy McCammon knows firsthand how something good and necessary can quietly take a place in the heart that belongs to Jesus. For years, food became her safety, comfort, and private escape. What looked like a problem with calories, weight, or willpower was actually rooted much deeper. Kristy is the founder of Life Unbinged and the author of Life Unbinged: Faith-Filled Freedom from Food Obsession and Sugar Addiction. She shares how food became connected to safety in childhood, why moderation and dieting never brought freedom, and how even healthy boundaries can become another idol. This conversation also became unexpectedly personal for me. I admitted things I’ve never discussed publicly and began confronting ways I may have transferred some of the same desires that once drove my drinking into my relationship with food. We also talk about boredom eating, processed sugar and flour, parenting, conviction versus shame, whether Christinas should use GLP-1 medications and weight-loss shots, and how to approach someone whose relationship with food concerns you. This isn’t about chasing a certain body type or treating every dessert as sinful. It’s about asking what we’re expecting food to do for us—and whether an addiction has been hiding in plain sight. Kristy's website: lifeunbinged.comThe Living Life Unbinged podcast: ListenGet the book: Life Unbinged: Faith-Filled Freedom from Food ObsessionFollow Kristy on Instagram: @lifeunbingedRead Kristy's blog post on GLP-1s: "Should Christians Use Weight-Loss Shots?"Get Gospel-centered addiction recovery resources and help: veritasrecovery.orgFollow me: @jonseidlOrder my new book, Confessions of a Christian AlcoholicWatch this episode at The Vertias Daily We explore: — Why Kristy calls food “the good girl’s alcohol”— How food became connected to safety, comfort, and escape— Why the church often ignores food addiction— The difference between moderation, abstinence, and healthy boundaries— How recovery itself can become another idol— What it means to put Jesus back in the highest place— The emotional roots beneath boredom eating and food obsession— My own uncomfortable realizations about food and transferred addiction— How parents can model a healthier relationship with food— Should Christians use GLP-1 medications and weight-loss shots?— How to approach a loved one without shame— Why food and substance addictions often share the same rootsSupport the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“I desperately wanted to be loved... and yet my entire life had feared that if I let people know me, I would be deemed unworthy of love.” Joel Warneking lived a double life. He was preaching, leading worship, traveling with a Christian band, and serving in ministry—all while secretly battling a pornography addiction that began when he was just eight years old. Even after confessing part of his struggle, shame kept him from bringing everything into the light. Eventually, that hidden addiction escalated into behavior that led to his arrest, the loss of his ministry, his career, and nearly everything he had built. But that wasn’t the end of Joel’s story. In one of the darkest moments of his life—sitting alone in a jail cell—Joel encountered the grace of God in a way that forever changed him. Rather than condemnation, he discovered a Father who had been pursuing him all along. That encounter launched a journey of radical vulnerability, deep healing, and true Gospel-centered recovery. Today, Joel serves as president of 423 Communities, helping churches and individuals find freedom from sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. In this episode of Confessions, we talk about why behavior modification alone isn’t enough, how trauma and shame fuel addiction, why secrecy keeps us stuck, and what it actually looks like to invite Jesus into the deepest wounds beneath our addictions. Joel also explains why healing requires more than sobriety, why confession is only the beginning, and how true freedom is found when we are fully known, fully loved, and fully surrendered to Christ. This is one of those conversations you’ll probably want to listen to more than once. It’s packed with wisdom, hope, and one unforgettable line after another. Keep something nearby to take notes—you’ll almost certainly want it. Get help for sexual addiction: 423communities.orgFollow Joel on InstagramGet Gospel-centered addiction recovery resources and help: veritasrecovery.orgFollow me: @jonseidlOrder my new book, Confessions of a Christian AlcoholicWatch this episode at The Vertias Daily We explore: — How pornography addiction often begins long before we understand what's happening.— Why shame thrives in secrecy and keeps us from experiencing God's grace.— The danger of living a double life while serving faithfully in ministry.— Why marriage cannot heal an addiction rooted in unresolved pain.— How white-knuckling sobriety differs from true healing.— Joel's arrest for indecent exposure and the devastating consequences of hidden sin.— The surprising encounter with God's grace that transformed everything.— Why trauma explains addiction without excusing sin.— The role of confession, community, and radical vulnerability in recovery.— What Gospel-centered recovery looks like beyond simply changing behaviors.Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.