Rebuilding Us: Marriage Podcast

Ever wonder why you keep having the same fights about money, the kids, or even just feeling ignored? My guest, marriage therapist and Christian wives coach Beatriz Vargas says there are five core questions behind every argument in marriage. Borrowing from renowned attachment-theory expert Sue Johnson's model, these questions can transform even the most hopeless-feeling, disconnected relationships. Beatriz explains how knowing these questions beforehand is a game-changer, and she also shares her powerful personal story of walking through marital struggle, separation, and ultimately, restoration. Beatriz and I break down how every marital conflict, big or small, boils down to one of five foundational questions every spouse is asking—often without even realizing it. We’re talking: Why feeling valued, needed, and cherished is non-negotiable for a healthy marriage How to recognize and break free from the “roommate syndrome” so many couples fall into The role of prayer and honest self-reflection when things seem hopeless How over-spiritualizing can sometimes get us stuck—and what healthy vulnerability looks like instead Practical ways to talk through arguments and change the narrative in your relationship Whether you’re the wife who feels like she’s carrying it all, or the spouse worried that you’re growing further apart, this conversation is for you. Beatriz Vargas even shares exactly where you can download the five core questions to bring these breakthrough conversations to your own marriage. If you’re ready for real talk with real hope for rebuilding trust, connection, and love—even when it feels impossible—press play now! Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Download the Five Core Questions for Every Marriage: thegracefueledwife.com/questions Connect with Beatriz Vargas on all platforms at The Grace Fueled Wife Get your copy of my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples! Available in e-book, paperback, and audiobook. Follow Dana Che on the socials! Instagram Facebook YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Author, speaker, and multi-generational mentor Rhonda Stoppe joins the show to discuss the challenges and joys of motherhood and share some practical lessons from her latest book about imperfect moms of the Bible. We also discuss some of our own mom struggles in hopes of encouraging you on your mothering journey. If you've ever wondered, “Am I doing this mom thing right? Is just being a mom truly enough?”—then this conversation is for you. We unpack Rhonda’s new book, Moms of the Bible: Life-Changing Lessons from Fearless, Flawed, and Faithful Mothers in Scripture. Together, we get real about embracing motherhood as a calling rather than just a role. Rhonda shares practical wisdom on breaking generational cycles, overcoming mom guilt, and finding your identity in Christ—so you can raise your children with intention and faith without losing yourself in the process. Listen in as we talk about: How to break free from generational patterns and embrace a no-regrets approach to motherhood Redefining ministry, purpose, and presence within your home The tension between pursuing your individual calling and prioritizing your family Modeling forgiveness, spiritual growth, and resilience for your kids—even when you've come from hurt or dysfunction Giving each of your children love and attention (even the “difficult” ones!) and learning from examples like Rebekah, Mary, and other moms in the Bible The unique beauty—and urgency—of grandparenting and building a spiritual legacy Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom, working mom, or somewhere in between, this episode will encourage you to step confidently into your mission field right at home. So lean in, and let’s rebuild us—one intentional relationship at a time. Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Get Rhonda's book: Imperfect Moms of the Bible Listen to Rhonda's podcast: Old Ladies Know Stuff Follow Dana Che on the socials! Instagram Facebook YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Have you heard of the term “unequally yoked” in relationships and marriage? So many of you have reached out asking, “Is it okay for a Christian to date or marry a non-Christian?” I’m breaking down exactly what the Bible says about being unequally yoked, and sharing real talk about how this applies to dating, marriage, and even business partnerships. I talk about why God’s commands aren’t about restricting us, but are there for our protection and blessing. If you’re already in a "mixed" marriage, I walk you through practical, biblical encouragement on how to live out your faith and how your actions—not just your words—can influence your spouse. You’ll also hear: The true definition of “unequally yoked” and why it matters for Christian singles and couples What to do if you’re a believer married to a non-believer Biblical advice on “missionary dating” and why it’s rarely a good idea How to use spiritual discernment (and even your common sense!) when making relationship choices My personal story of how my husband Shaun and I navigated differences in our spiritual walk Encouragement for the spouse who feels alone in their faith journey Whether you’re single, dating, married, or walking alongside a loved one in this situation, this episode will help you understand the importance of honoring God with your choices and trusting Him with your relationships. Resources Mentioned in This Episode: Get the newly released audiobook for Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples! Follow Dana Che on the socials! Instagram Facebook YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Finding out your spouse has been unfaithful can feel like your entire world has just shattered. I'm speaking directly to the person who is hurting, confused, and unsure of what to do next in this “best of the best” sweet repeat episode. Whether this terrible discovery is fresh or something you’ve been quietly carrying for a while, this conversation will help you take your first steps toward healing. I'm also sharing from both sides of the story—as someone who has experienced infidelity and caused it—with compassion, clarity, and a path forward that doesn’t depend on your spouse’s readiness. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, ashamed, or alone… this episode is for you. What You’ll Hear in This Episode Why infidelity is more destructive than most people realize The truth about healing (and why it doesn’t start where most people think) Why jumping straight into couples or marriage counseling may not be the best first step The importance of focusing on your personal healing first Encouragement for those who haven’t told anyone yet How to begin moving forward—even if your spouse isn’t ready Get help now at danache.com/infidelityintensive. Follow Dana Che on the socials! Instagram Facebook YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

We're celebrating our 400th episode and tackling one of the most important topics in marriage—consistency. If you’ve ever struggled with feeling like your efforts to improve your marriage aren’t working or wondered if all those small daily actions really matter, this episode is for you. Today, I’m sharing my personal journey and my not-so-secret struggle with staying consistent—not just in my marriage, but in life! I’ll walk you through a simple, actionable framework that I created called the CARE acronym (Check-in, Affection, Reassurance, Encouragement) to help you build trust, commitment, and affection in your relationship. I’ll also give practical tips for daily connection, show you how to stay motivated when you don’t see instant results, and explain why the little things you do will eventually transform your marriage. You’ll hear: Why consistency is a game-changer for marriage How to use 5-10 minute daily check-ins to reconnect with your spouse Simple ways to show affection and reassurance every single day—even if it feels awkward at first Real encouragement to keep planting seeds, even when it seems like nothing is changing How intentionality transformed my relationship with Shawn after years of inconsistency Whether you’re newly married or have been together for decades, this episode will equip you with the tools you need to build a stronger, more secure marriage—one small, consistent step at a time. You can create the marriage you want, and I hope this milestone episode inspires you to start today! Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Get my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples Ep. 394: Do You Need Help, a Hug, or Just to Be Heard? 3 Questions Show Empathy and Care Follow Dana Che on the socials! Instagram Facebook YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Do you often get frustrated or maybe even sad because it seems you're the only one working on your marriage? Like, your spouse is "in it," but he/she doesn't seem to take the marriage seriously. You often feel taken for granted, or you feel like you take two steps forward and twelve steps back? Today's episode is just what you need to hear. This is a sweet repeat (an oldie but goodie)... a listener's question that I answered live on the podcast. My answer still holds true. And it will still work for you, too. Why You Should Listen? You’ll learn how to: Change your step in the 'marriage dance' Switch your focus Overcome frustration when nothing seems to be working Get a new perspective Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Is your relationship recovering from infidelity? Learn about my Infidelity Intensive here. Follow Dana Che on the socials! Instagram Facebook YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

As a marriage coach, I know firsthand how unspoken and unrealistic expectations can quietly sabotage even the strongest marriages. In this episode, I'm sharing practical strategies to help you define, communicate, and realign your expectations so you and your spouse can avoid unnecessary disappointment and disconnection. We'll talk about the five most common unrealistic expectations couples face, including the beliefs that our spouse should never change, should make us happy, or should simply know what we're thinking. I share some of my own personal stories—like how my expectation for Shaun to be the spiritual leader in our home led to unnecessary disappointment and what I learned about the roots of where that specific expectation came from. You’ll learn how to: Get curious together instead of assuming your way is the only way Stay flexible and open to growth as both you and your spouse change Collaborate and celebrate your unique strengths as a couple Let go of the pressure to change each other Develop a gratitude mindset for a more joyful marriage Resources mentioned in this episode: Get your copy of my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples Related episodes: Ep. 126 - How to Create a Marriage Vision Ep. 304 - 4 Expectations Every Marriage Should Have Follow Dana Che on the socials! Instagram Facebook YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Before you get married, there are several important conversations you need to have. In this episode, I'm sharing 12 emotionally healthy questions every couple should ask before getting married. Whether you’re single, engaged, or already married and just want to build deeper intimacy with your spouse, these conversation starters will help you avoid pitfalls and create a lasting connection in your relationship. Many people enter marriage with unrealistic expectations and without the preparation they truly need. That's why I'm walking you through twelve powerful questions designed to spark vulnerable conversations—including how to make your partner feel heard, set appropriate boundaries with friends, handle conflict, address emotional wounds, and discover your emotional health meters. You’ll discover: The essential questions to identify what makes you (and your partner) feel loved, valued, and understood How to recognize and talk about emotionally unsafe behaviors that can sabotage connection The importance of knowing how you and your partner respond to hurt, stress, and burnout—and why you need to see each other at your worst as well as your best before tying the knot Strategies for reconnecting after conflict and not taking each other for granted Why sharing your dreams, emotional needs, and even moments of sadness can set the stage for greater intimacy and emotional health I also dive into how friendship dynamics must shift when you get married (yes, even those platonic besties!) and I break down why recognizing your own patterns—and understanding your partner’s—is the foundation for a healthy relationship. Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Download my free audio guide, 7 Secret Marriage Rules to Know Before I Do and After I Did Grab your copy of my brand new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples. If you’re engaged, thinking about marriage, or want to refresh and deepen your connection, these 12 questions will transform the way you communicate and understand each other. Follow Dana Che on the socials! Instagram Facebook YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

We've all heard it said, maybe even said it ourselves—marriage is hard. It's true...marriage, like life, has its seasons. There are winters in marriage, challenging times when things feel cold and bleak. But what if we can reframe that belief? What if instead of seeing marriage as hard work, we saw it as heart work? In this episode, I break down five reasons your marriage might feel difficult right now, and more importantly, how to fix it. Even good couples go through seasons of tension, frustration, and emotional distance but understanding the root causes of your marriage problems can change everything. I talk about how communication breakdowns, unmet expectations, unresolved hurt, and emotional disconnection can slowly impact the health of your relationship. If you want to strengthen your marriage, improve communication, and rebuild intimacy, this episode will help you see what might be happening and where to start. This episode is especially helpful if you are: Struggling with conflict in your marriage Feeling emotionally disconnected from your spouse Trying to rebuild trust after relationship challenges Looking for faith-based encouragement for your marriage Marriage can be hard at times, but so can nearly everything in life. Ultimately, life is full of choices, including choosing your hard. Maintaining self-control despite challenges or engaging in destructive behaviors are both hard in their own ways. Choose wisely. Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Ep. 288: 7 Traits to Create a More Resilient Relationship Enter to win the "100 Book Reviews Contest" for Tried and True Get your FREE 5-Day Tried and True companion devotional here Follow Dana Che on the socials! Instagram Facebook YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Have you been feeling overlooked, devalued, or unseen by your spouse? Does is feel like your marriage is running on autopilot, where someone or something else always seems to take priority over you? What do you do when you feel like you’re coming in second place in your marriage, or as I call it, “playing second fiddle.” I open up about with wisdom straight from my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples, specifically taking you into the story of Jacob and Leah from the book of Genesis. If you’ve ever felt undervalued, overlooked, or like you just can't win your spouse’s affection—this episode is for you. Plus, I'll unpack key conversation starters you can use to reconnect with your spouse and discuss these feelings in a healthy, constructive way. And, I’ll close out with a special prayer to cover you and your marriage. Here’s what you’ll hear in this episode: What “playing second fiddle” looks like in marriage today Lessons from Jacob and Leah: How God values those who feel unseen How insecurity shows up—in-laws, kids, friends, or “ideals” Why your worth and purpose can’t come from your spouse alone Two powerful conversation starters to cultivate security and intimacy A prayer for healing, unity, and renewed value in your marriage Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Get my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples Follow Dana Che on the socials! Instagram Facebook YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.