Rebuilding Us: Christian Marriage Advice for Couples

The Female Orgasm: Get'n Real - with Julie Sibert Listen, these days, there’s a lot of faking it going on when it comes to women having orgasms. But let’s get real. My guest, intimacy expert Julie Sibert, and I are answering your questions and demystifying the important yet often overlooked female orgasm. The truth is there are many women who have never, and I do repeat, never experienced an orgasm. There are also women who “fake it til they make it.” But these situations are living below the pleasure potential that married sex provides.  Learning to Communicate Your Needs Julie shares her journey in learning to openly communicate her sexual needs and desires with her husband and how that intentionality revolutionized her sex life. She also discusses ways that women can take the initial step from awkward conversations in order to help her husband learn her body and how she would like to receive pleasure.    Talking about sex in an honest yet wholesome way is crucial for wholehearted marriages. We have got to get over the shame, stigma, and fear of “going there” in these conversations. Orgasms are a part of sex, and not just for the man. Need I repeat? If you are a husband, and your wife is not consistently experiencing orgasms, it’s time for you to re-evaluate. Married and dare I say, Christian married sex, needs to be mutually beneficial.    Around the 14 minute mark, Julie discusses how faking orgasms brings a lie into your marriage. That one statement is worth an offering. I’m serious. You’ve got to listen to the full episode!    Our hope is that after listening to today’s episode, you never experience boring sex again. Not every encounter has to end with utter euphoria, but both spouses should give and receive sexual pleasure on a consistent basis.    Want to listen to more wholesome advice on married sex? Be sure to listen to the entire Shameless Sex Series on the podcast, especially these: Episode 76: 8 REASONS WHY WOMEN WON’T INITIATE SEX (SHAMELESS SEX SERIES)  Episode 77: HOW TO HAVE NON-AWKWARD CONVERSATIONS ABOUT SEX WITH YOUR SPOUSE – WITH SHAUN WILLIAMS (SHAMELESS SEX SERIES).    Links Mentioned in this Episode Learn more about Julie and Intimacy in Marriage. Jumpstart Your Intimacy: A Video Series for Wives    SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Feelings Aren't Forever Are you "feeling some kind of way?" While we all feel the feels from time to time, we can't be ruled by our feelings. In marriage and relationships, feelings are fickle. Feelings aren't forever. They come and they go. As a matter of fact, feelings are meant to be a gauge not a guide. They're indicators not instructions. This is why we should never make major decisions solely based on how we feel.    I've seen many marriages end because one or both partners were feeling some kind of way about each other and about the fate of their relationship. Nothing pains my heart more than to see people let go of their potential due to a short-lived season of flawed feelings. While we should all be in touch with our emotions, we need to remember that we control our feelings. They don't control us.    In today's episode, I share some powerful truths to combat the feelings fiasco and help you to make solid decisions in spite of how you feel. You're going to want to listen to the entire episode.    Our podcast downloads are way up! Thanks so much to all of you who subscribe to the podcast and share these episodes. You're making a difference in the lives of future listeners! Let's keep it going!    And check out this helpful blog post I wrote on "In My Feelings." You can find it here.    SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

It Will Work If You Work It   If you want your marriage to work, you have to work it. I know that seems too simple, but the truth is a thriving marriage takes effort. If we want to succeed in anything in life, we have to be intentional and put in the effort. Nothing worth having comes easy. We all know that. So why, then, do we fail to realize this in our marriages?    Today, I’m sharing five ways to be intentional and actually put that effort into your marriage.    You have to have a purpose for your marriage. If you don’t know the purpose of a thing, you will abuse it. What is the purpose of your marriage? You need to learn yourself. What makes you happy? What makes you tick? Do you actually know yourself? If not, it will be difficult for you to know your spouse.  You need to learn your spouse. We aren’t the same people we were when we got married. If you think, “I know my spouse already,” you’ll setting yourself up for failure. Keep learning. Stay curious.  Decide on marriage goals. #marriagegoals is a popular hashtag, but it has to be more than that if you want your marriage to succeed. What are some goals you can accomplish together as a couple? Get feedback. When we want to improve, it’s crucial that we elicit feedback from others better than we are. Ask your spouse. Ask a mentor couple. Again, keep learning and keep growing.    The universal language of love is effort. So, put in the effort! If you work your marriage, your marriage will work!    Links Mentioned in this Episode 8 Reasons Women Won’t Initiate Sex - Episode 76   SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

The Truth About Erectile Dysfunction & Masturbation - with Shawn Bonneteau (Shameless Sex Series) Erectile dysfunction is one of those secret symptoms men don't like to talk about when it comes to their sexual health. However, statistics show that 1 in 3 men under the age of 40 experience erectile dysfunction (ED), and the vast majority of these men are or have been addicted to pornography.  But porn isn't the only cause of ED. We've been taught that erectile dysfunction is a medical problem, and though it can be, there are other factors. Psychological issues and past trauma can also be contributing factors of erectile dysfunction, according to my guest, Shawn Bonneteau. As a certified professional mentor who's helped countless men overcome pornography addiction and ED and armed with his own personal journey with both, Shawn sheds light on what the little blue pill won't help with.  Throughout our conversation, we also talk about masturbation and how it affects women and men. This is one conversation you're going to want to listen to multiple times. Grab something to take notes with and listen to this powerful conversation!    Learn more about Shawn and his wife Helena's coaching at https://secrethabit.ca.    Links Mentioned in this Episode The Overcoming ED Mini Course The Secret Habit Podcast Real Relationship Talk - Ep. 70 - Can Porn Improve Your Sex Life - with Sathiya Sam     SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

How to Have Non-Awkward Conversations About Sex with Your Spouse - with Shaun Williams (Shameless Sex Series) My hubby Shaun is our guest today, and we're talking about how to broach the conversation of unmet desires, fantasies, and unrealized hopes concerning sex in your marriage. This is one episode you'll want to hear especially if talking about sex makes you squeemish or triggers feelings of embarrasment, shame, or even pain. The truth is talking with your spouse about sex should be normal. Somehow, society has made it weird. How should you start? When should these conversations take place? What does it mean for Christian spouses to embrace their sexuality? What if talking about your sex life makes you more insecure? Shaun and I tackle all these hesitations and more in today's show. Plus, hear a listener's question in our Q & A with Dana Che segment concerning a previous episode on why married sex is the best sex.   SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

8 Reasons Why Women Won’t Initiate Sex (Shameless Sex Series)   If you’re a woman who struggles with initiating sex, a man wondering why your wife won’t initiate, today’s show is just for you. A common sexual issue in many relationships is a difference in sex drives. Generally speaking, men seem to have a higher sex drive and initiate sex more often than women do. But why? Is it truly the way they were created? I think not. On the podcast, I share eight reasons I believe many women struggle when it comes to initiating sex.   #1 – Women have been socially and even spiritually conditioned to believe that “good girls” don’t like sex or that ladies do not pursue. This is a sad reality that has caused sexually-driven women to feel confused or ashamed.   #2 – She might feel awkward initiating sex, because she doesn’t know how. If a woman has been fed faulty messages concerning her sexuality and wasn’t sexually active prior to marriage, she might not know what to do.   #3 – Women may struggle with a fear of rejection. No one wants to make a move and be rejected. So instead of trying, she may decide to just allow things to happen “if they happen.”   #4 – She may be too tired. I know this sounds like a lame excuse, but it’s often true. There is so much pressure on women to be domesticated divas, at the top of her game at work, mommy of the year, and then she has to be “Ready Betty” at night. It’s a lot to keep up with!   You’ll have to listen to the full episode to get the other four reasons why women won’t initiate sex. And after you do, I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to add to this list by writing a comment in the show notes of this episode.   And as a bonus, I also share four easy ways for women to initiate sex. Hint, all of these ways are practical and simple. Even the shyest wife can do these!   Links Mentioned in this Episode Real Relationship Talk – Episode 27: Lopsided Libidos – How to Deal with Different Sex Drives Real Relationship Talk – Episode 75: Why Married Sex is the Best Sex     SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.    Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

7 Reasons Married Sex is the Best Sex (Shameless Sex Series) Sex outside of marriage is touted as the norm or ideal sex, but today’s episode covers reasons why married sex is actually the best sex. The Bible has a lot to say about sex, and some people don’t understand why. Some wonder does God really care what people do behind closed doors. Well, my friends, the answer is yes. One of the best explanations of this can be found in I Corinthians 6:18-20. I love how the Message translation puts it: There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, “The two become one.” Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never “become one.” There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for “becoming one” with another. Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body. IMO (in my opinion), that’s all the reason we need. Still, there are some who don’t esteem God’s words in the same way that I do, so I give six (well, actually there’s an additional bonus reason included) ways why married sex is the best sex.   Maybe you have additional reasons you’d like to add to our list. If so, feel free to email info at danache.com and share your nuggets of wisdom!     SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.  Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

The Lowdown on the Hookup Culture: Five #Facts (Shameless Sex Series)   Society seems obsessed with free sex. The hookup culture is alive and well, and it’s not just millennials or Gen-Zers engaging in sex on demand. In today’s episode, I’m giving you 5 reasons the hookup culture is no bueno and 5 practical steps to exit right out of it.   Many of us have been sold a lie that in order to embrace our sexuality, we need to be “sexually free,” or promiscuous, for lack of a better word. There are no rules, right? Do whatever pleases your fancy. The truth is the hookup culture has caused more pain, heartache, and loss than it’s worth. Whether or not you are a Christian, there are many reasons why the hookup culture isn’t a great idea. These reasons range from scientific reasons to spiritual reasons.   Here are a few (You’ll have to listen to the full episode to hear them all):   Risks of Premarital Sex The hookup culture is responsible for a higher divorce rate. The hookup culture is responsible for fake intimacy (This is really important. Please listen around the 13:12 mark.) The hookup culture hinders commitment. I go into much detail on these three and two additional “risks” of premarital or extramarital sex. But let’s not just talk risks . . . let’s talk about real, practical steps people can take when trying to turn their sexual lives around. Practical Steps to Exit the Hookup Culture Decide to become accountable to yourself. Real accountability is an inside job first. DO NOT rush into marriage. This might sound counterintuitive coming from a pastor and marriage coach. But trust me, marriage will not solve your self-control issues. Watch what you watch. This is another very important simple step in the right direction. To hear the additional two tips for exiting the hookup culture, be sure to listen to the full podcast.   Remember, we are invited to live in freedom, but sexual freedom is not what our culture teaches us it is. The apostle Paul writes in Galatians 5:13, For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love (NLT).   Other Helpful Resources: Web MD – Benefits in Delaying Sex Until Marriage Why Premarital Sex is a Bad Idea Need Relationship or Marriage Coaching?     SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.  Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Why Lysa TerKeurst Called Quits on Her Marriage Proverbs 31 Founder Lysa TerKeurst announced this week that she was divorcing her husband of nearly 30 years due to his repeated patterns of behavior that have violated their marriage (i.e. infidelity). This statement isn't new to Lysa; she made a very similar statement in 2017 when Art, her husband, was caught in adultery. However, the TerKeursts walked through a journey of repentance, forgiveness, and reconciliation, and renewed their vows in 2017. Sadly, it appears Art returned to his cycle of destruction and now their marriage is irretrievably broken.  There are some lessons we can learn from why Lysa's decision to end her marriage, which I share plainly in this episode, along with her official statement.  If your marriage is suffering from adultery, or if it ever has  . . . heck, if you don't want your marriage to experience infidelity, you need to listen to the full episode.  Learn more about how to protect your marriage by downloading my free e-book 5 Mistakes that are Wrecking Your Life at http://relationshipmistakes.co.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Best of 2021: Year in Review   Oh, what a year! There have been highs and lows, but we brought the best of the best with this top 10 countdown of our most popular episodes of the year. Counting down from the tenth most downloaded episode to the number one most downloaded show was a sweet trip for me down memory lane. I’m sure these shows are some of your faves as well. Be sure to listen to today’s episode for my commentary on the significance of each show.   Top 10 Relationship Podcast Episodes in 2021   10 – Episode 69: Oral Sex: Oh My! (Shameless Sex Series)   9 – Episode 55: How to Get Over an Argument Quickly (Young & Married Series)*   9 – Episode 25: Lies Women Believe about Sex – with Molly Moses (All About Sex Series)* *Episode 55 & Episode 25 tied for the #9 spot.   8 – Episode 48: Setting Realistic Expectations in Marriage – with Jenard Moore (Young & Married Series)   7 – Episode 27: Lopsided Libido: How to Deal with Different Sex Drives (All About Sex Series)   6 – Episode 24: Rethinking Intimacy – Redefining Sex – with Sheila Wray-Gregoire (All About Sex Series)   5 – Episode 41: When Life Falls Apart: Unearthing Treasure in the Unexpected – with Hallie Lord (Hope Series)   4- Episode 26: Making Love Outside the Bedroom – with Shaun Williams (All About Sex Series)   3 – Episode 36: How Guys Think: A Single Man Bares All – with Avery Martin (Single AF Series)   2 – Episode 40: Dealing with Disappointments (Hope Series)   1 – Episode 49: 5 Boundaries Every Marriage Needs (Young & Married Series)   I hope you enjoy listening (or re-listening) to these episodes! And tell me, what was your favorite episode or episodes from the podcast?   SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.