Rebuilding Us: Marriage Podcast

Let’s be honest—just because we grew up and got married doesn’t mean we left our triggers at the playground. Sometimes marriage can feel like an endless game of emotional Whac-A-Mole. In today’s episode, I’m unpacking the hidden childhood triggers that sneak into our marriages, those moments when a look or a phrase sends us spiraling back—defenses up, ready to fight, flee, or freeze. But surely there's a better way. Here’s what we dig into: Unpacking Childhood BaggageWe talk about why seemingly harmless comments from our spouse can unleash a flood of old wounds, and how those reactions aren’t just “sensitivity”—they’re well-worn ruts of our childhood stories. Scarcity Mindset in MarriageWhat happens when our knee-jerk belief is that there’s “not enough”—not enough love, attention, or security? I’ll confess the ways scarcity thinking creeps into my own marriage, and the choices I made, both emotional and practical, have started shifting our connection. Faith and the Hard Work of HealingYep, we’re going there. I unpack where faith gets tangled up with those painful places—and why it matters. We talk about inviting God into the ugly-beautiful mess, not just the Instagrammable moments, and why radical honesty is sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do. Steps Toward Healing—Without Pretending It’s EasyThis isn’t about quick fixes or pretending your marriage is something it’s not. We’ll get real about weariness. About losing hope. About showing up anyway and trying one more time. Because that’s where real change starts: not with grand gestures, but with brave, small choices over time. Links & Resources: Take my free quiz: How Connected a Partner Are You? Get my new book: Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples Recommended episode: “Unpacking Triggers, Strongholds, & Inner Healing - with Frank Meadows” Support the Show: Your giving makes a difference! Follow Dana Che on the socials! Instagram Facebook YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

In part two of this conversation on opposite sex friendships in marriage, marriage coach Sylvia Chipman and I reflect on how emotional affairs rarely begin with the intention to betray a spouse. They often develop gradually through personal conversations, frequent communication, shared experiences, and the comforting feeling of being deeply understood. A person may genuinely believe, “We’re just friends,” while unintentionally building a level of closeness that belongs within the marriage. This is why boundaries are crucial for protecting not only your marriage but also your other friendship. Key Takeaways: How to respond when your spouse expresses discomfort. Is preserving the friendship worth damaging your partner’s peace or weakening trust in your marriage? How humility tied the cords of trust and security in your marriage How your history, vulnerabilities, and level of trust shape the boundaries your marriage needs Specific boundaries you may want to employ in your relationships This episode isn’t about living suspiciously or refusing to interact with the opposite sex. It’s about choosing wisdom. Healthy friendships require transparency, appropriate communication, and boundaries both spouses understand and respect. Ultimately, there may not be one rule that fits every couple. The goal is not to prove that you can handle a friendship—it is to protect the intimacy, safety, and trust you are building with your spouse. Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Think your relationship may be in danger of an affair? Take my confidential "Affair Quiz" here. Learn more about Sylvia's marriage coaching here. Follow Dana Che on the socials! Instagram Facebook YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

If you're married, can men and women really be just friends? It’s a question as old as time, sparking heated debates at dinner tables, in church lobbies, and—of course—in marriages. Today's episode is a sweet repeat, where I sat down with my good friend and fellow marriage coach, Sylvia Chipman, to unpack this tricky territory: Can you maintain healthy, platonic friendships with the opposite sex after you’re married? Or is it just a slippery slope? Sylvia and I get real and raw about our own experiences—some wins, some mistakes, and lots of lessons learned in hopes that you'll guard your marriages with intention. Key Takeaways: The emotional bonds that can form even if you’re not physically attracted to someone Why setting healthy boundaries is crucial How past wounds or histories of infidelity can shape your perspective on friendship with the opposite sex. We also discuss “situationships,” the slow burn of emotional affairs, and how to spot (and avoid) potential pitfalls in your friendships. You'll hear practical advice on communicating with your spouse about opposite-sex friends and how to get real with yourself so that you can be real with the true purpose of your friendships. Whether you believe it’s possible to have platonic friends in marriage or think it’s playing with fire, this episode will make you think twice about this important issue. This episode originally aired on October 10, 2023. Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Want to connect better with your spouse? Learn your "connection style" by taking my partner quiz here. Looking for a quick but strategic guide in connecting with your spouse? Get my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples. Connect with Sylvia and learn about her coaching here. Follow Dana Che on the socials! Instagram Facebook YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Infidelity is a word that can strike deep fear and pain into the heart of any married person. Many believe that affairs “just happen,” or that only people in miserable relationships are at risk. But as I share in today's episode, even couples with good marriages, strong commitments, and sincere love for one another can find themselves blindsided by the devastation of an affair. Understanding how affairs happen—the real anatomy of an affair—is crucial to safeguarding your relationship. I draw on both my own personal experiences and the biblical story of David and Bathsheba to help unpack the key stages of an affair and, more importantly, how they can be avoided. Whether you fear an affair is brewing, are teetering on the edge yourself, or want to help protect friends and loved ones, this episode can serve as a wake-up call and a guide toward a safer, more genuine marriage. Key Takeaways from This Episode Temptation Isn’t Sin: Being tempted is not a sin. We all experience temptation, but what we do next makes all the difference. David & Bathsheba’s Story: Using the biblical account as a backdrop, learn the steps that lead to an affair. Practical Advice: Boredom and idle time can open doors to temptation. Learn what to do to curb your vulnerabilities. There’s Always a Way Out: The episode dives into 1 Corinthians 10, reassuring you that God will always provide a way of escape when we are tempted. No Affair Is Worth the Cost: No good thing comes from an affair, and the path of rebuilding, though tough, can absolutely be worth it. Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Is your relationship at risk for an affair? Take my free 2-minute quiz:👉 danache.com/affairquiz Get my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples—with a dedicated chapter on infidelity and so much more.Get your copy here! Follow Dana Che on the socials! Instagram Facebook YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Are you ready to transform conflict in your marriage and cultivate a deeper partnership? I sat down with special guest David Haastrup, host of the Reconnected Marriage Partners Podcast, for his take on increasing emotional awareness/regulation and the CALM method for handling conflict. We both share honest stories from our own marriages, including how our different upbringings shaped our expectations and how teamwork and partnership are essential for Christian couples. David dives into practical strategies for emotional regulation, self-awareness, and what it really means to “catch the moment” before things get heated. We also explore why the early years of marriage can be so challenging and how his book, “A Couple’s First 10 Years,” can help you thrive when life throws curveballs—like cross-country moves, health crises, and raising young kids. If you’ve ever felt stuck in the same old conflict cycle, or want to uncover what’s really beneath surface-level arguments, you don’t want to miss this conversation. Key Takeaways: A CALM Approach to Conflict Conflict is inevitable, but chaos doesn’t have to be. David introduced his practical CALM Method for handling disagreements with empathy and intention: Catch the moment – Develop self-awareness to recognize turning points in a conflict. Allow the pause – Take a breather before responding to diffuse tension. Lower the intensity – Use gentle words and reframe your approach to prevent escalation. Move toward understanding – Focus on truly hearing your partner, not just winning the argument. This episode is full of actionable advice and personal stories about how this framework makes a difference, even when emotions run high and the household clashes (like those endless debates over the dishes!), plus more tips on emotional regulation. Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Struggling in your early years of marriage or want to support friends who are? David's new book, A Couple’s First 10 Years, might be just the read you need. Also, check out his free online webinar: “How to Stop the Argument Before It Starts" and the Reconnected Marriages Partners Podcast here. Get my Heart-to-Heart Conversation Starters—three simple prompts to help you start difficult conversations with clarity and empathy.Grab your copy here! Follow Dana Che on the socials! Instagram Facebook YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

It's a topic that every married couple deals with sooner or later—conflict. If you’re married, you know that conflict comes with the territory. But there is a way to deal with it better and faster. Sometimes it shows up in the middle of family vacations, like on our recent trip to Tokyo and Guam. Sean and I found ourselves in the midst of a classic “silent treatment” scenario—cordial but emotionally iced out. Even our normally amazing vacations aren’t immune to moments like that. Conflict can give way to anger, and if we're not careful, can erode even the best of relationships. Anger in marriage takes a lot of forms. Some of us explode, others implode and just simmer with resentment. I believe that unchecked anger is dangerous, sometimes even more so when it’s hidden. That’s why I turn to scripture, specifically Ephesians 4, which famously says “do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” For me, that means not allowing anger to control me. It doesn’t necessarily mean every single conflict needs to be solved before bed. Sometimes you need a pause, but you shouldn’t let anger fester and give the devil a foothold. Key Takeaways: The “24-hour rule” in our marriage. It was actually Shaun’s idea—why, more often than not, underneath our anger is about something deeper: like feeling unheard, disrespected, or maybe just plain tired. The power of the pause. Instead of stewing, take time to reflect on what's actually going with you. Important questions to ask yourself. What am I really feeling? What triggered me? “I” statements to bring clarity. Share your perspective, not accusations. Be honest with your spouse—even if you don’t have all the answers yet. Conflict doesn’t have to break connection. With a little honesty, reflection, and grace, it can actually bring you closer together. Resources Mentioned in This Episode: Not sure how to bring up certain conversations? Get my "Conversation Starters when in Conflict FREE guide. Go deeper with my interactive communication course: From Conflict to Connection. Follow Dana Che on the socials! Instagram Facebook YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Sharing your feelings can be vulnerable, especially if there is already conflict in your relationship. Too often, people choose to stuff their feelings, pretending all is well just to avoid conflict. The problem with that is that conflict doesn't usually just go away. It must be addressed. Originally aired in December, 2023, today's episode is one for the ages. I'm sharing four tips on how to honestly express yourself to your spouse or partner without deepening the disconnection gap or making things worse. After you listen, you will be equipped with four ways to communicate more clearly and confidently and seek a mutual resolution for any conflict that comes your way. Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Get your FREE "Conversation Starters for Couples in Conflict" here. Check out my "From Conflict to Connection" e-course. Follow Dana Che on the socials! Instagram Facebook YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Marriage is a blessing...until it's not. Good marriages can be like heaven on earth, but bad marriages are like h, e, double hockey sticks. Whether your marriage is wonderful or wearisome, chances are you may be prioritizing it too much. How do you know if your marriage has become an idol in your life? That's what we're discussing in today's sweet repeat episode (originally aired on August 6, 2024). Christian marriages, especially, can fall prey to marriage becoming an idol, because it seems most churches are obsessed with singles getting married, married people making marriage work, and the like. Marriage is a good thing. But there are some dangers of making your marriage or your spouse your end-all be-all. This conversation is one we need to have more of. Listen in as I unpack how to keep your marriage first without it becoming too much of the focus of your world. Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Change your language, and change your life. Download my free Speak Life Audio Affirmations here. Go deeper and listen to my sermon, "Idols in Disguise." Follow Dana Che on the socials! Instagram Facebook YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Are you disappointed by someone you love? Maybe your spouse let you down, a friend broke your trust, or a relationship didn't turn out the way you hoped. The truth is, every one of us has experienced the pain of unmet expectations. In this replay episode, we're revisiting a foundational conversation about hope, because the message is just as important today as when it first aired. Disappointment has a way of settling into our hearts if we don't address it. Left unchecked, it can lead to bitterness, resentment, anger, and emotional distance in our relationships. But there is another path. In this episode, we'll explore how to stop avoiding the pain of disappointment, confront the truth about what hurt you, and begin the healing process through forgiveness. When we release our disappointments to God and choose forgiveness, we make room for freedom, healing, and hope to grow. The Beauty of Forgiveness You've probably heard the saying, "Holding onto unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." While unforgiveness often feels like protection, it actually keeps us trapped in the very pain we're trying to avoid. Forgiveness doesn't excuse what happened, but it does release you from carrying the weight of the offense. In marriage and close relationships, forgiveness isn't optional—it's essential. The people closest to us have the greatest access to our hearts, which means they also have the greatest capacity to hurt us. Yet Scripture reminds us that "love covers a multitude of sins" (1 Peter 4:8). What Disappointment Can Teach Us As difficult as disappointment is, God can use it to develop something powerful within us. Romans 5:3-5 teaches that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance builds character, and character produces hope. When we learn to endure relational disappointments instead of being defined by them, we grow stronger, wiser, and more resilient. We begin to trust that God can redeem even the most painful circumstances and work them together for our good (Romans 8:28). If you've been carrying disappointment, hurt, or unforgiveness, this conversation will encourage you to take the next step toward healing and rediscover the hope that God has for you. Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Learn the 7 Secrets to Build a Lasting Marriage here. Follow Dana Che on the socials! Instagram Facebook YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

I want you to have the clarity, consistency, and cooperation you need to avoid confusion, consequences, and chaos should you decide to do an in-home separation. Navigating an in-home separation is not an easy process, but sometimes, due to financial constraints, children with special needs, or unique life circumstances, it may be the best option. As someone who is 100% pro marriage and always rooting for reconciliation, I want you to be equipped as much as possible during this challenging season. You’ll hear me break down nine tips to have a better success rate during your in-home separation, including how to define your purpose for separating, set clear boundaries, create a timeline, and prioritize individual healing and growth. I’ll walk you through the importance of establishing communication rhythms and creating metrics to track progress, right down to dividing household responsibilities and discussing how to navigate parenting together under one roof. I'll also talk about why crucial conversations—sometimes with the help of a therapist, coach, or pastor—are necessary if you want to give your marriage the best shot at restoration. Whether you’re considering an in-home separation or already in the midst of one, this episode is packed with practical, faith-based advice to help you plan, communicate, and make decisions that are healthy for both you and your spouse. Don't forget—divorce isn’t your only option, and a purposeful in-home separation can be part of your journey back to each other. Resources Mentioned During This Episode: Ep. 406: How to Do a Separation the S.M.A.R.T Way Get my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples, and take your marriage from blah to better. Follow Dana Che on the socials! Instagram Facebook YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.