The Death of the Pastor's Wife: Spiritual & Marital Abuse and Where We Go From Here

September 04, 2026
00:00 38:41
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My hubby, Shaun, joins me in this special episode to discuss the Netflix docuseries Death of the Pastor’s Wife and the difficult questions it raises about abuse of power, spiritual manipulation, accountability, submission, and marriage.

This conversation goes beyond the story itself. Shaun and I explore how churches can create healthier accountability structures, why power differentials matter, what you should do when you recognize abuse, and what partnership in marriage can look like without control or coercion.

If you’re married, serving in leadership, part of a church community, or reexamining your own faith and relationships, this episode offers an honest conversation about discernment, responsibility, and healing.

Key Takeaways:

  • Why every church leader needs accountability

  • How spiritual manipulation can distort Scripture

  • The difference between biblical submission and control

  • Why victims shouldn’t be blamed for someone else’s abuse of power

  • How Shaun and I approach marriage as a partnership

  • Why church members have a responsibility to speak up when something feels wrong

  • A prayer for marriages, church leaders, victims of abuse, and Mica Miller's family

If you're being abused by a spouse or partner, seek legal and professional help. Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800.799.SAFE (7233).

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Meet Your Host
Dana Che is a speaker, marriage coach, and the host of the Rebuilding US podcast, where she helps people uncomplicate relationships and build deeper connections. She also serves as a Teaching Pastor at a multi-site, multi-ethnic church in Virginia Beach, VA. Dana is known for her graceful candor, humor, and encouraging commitment to the truth.

Dana holds a B.A. in communication from Regent University and is a seminary student at Fuller Theological Seminary. She has a fierce passion for fashion and loves all things beachy. She shares her life with Shaun, her childhood sweetheart and husband of twenty-seven years and their four amazing children in beautiful Virginia Beach, VA.

Connect with Dana:
Instagram: @mrsdanache
Website: danache.com
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