Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast

Episode Summary:If you have ever questioned who you are, what your purpose is, or how God views you, then today is the perfect show for you. Today we’re going to be talking about Embracing who we are, and becoming all God created us to be. And in order to know who that is, sometimes we have to dispel some of the lies we have believed about ourselves. My guest on today’s show is author, speaker, and life coach, Holley Gerth. Holley helps us understand some of the most common lies we believe, where these lies come from, and how to replace these lies with life-giving truth about our true identity in Christ. We often have the tendency to believe lies such as “I am not enough…” or “I’m all alone,” or “I’m invisible.” Yet God’s word assures us, that in our humanness we aren’t enough but having Him living inside us is enough and makes us more than conquerors. Furthermore, God sees us, He promises to always be with us, and that He thinks about us constantly. Scripture tells us to guard our heart and our mind and to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ Jesus. This means it’s important that we examine our thoughts, determine where they come from and the source of those lies, repent of believing the lies and receive God’s truth. Holley suggests that instead of focusing on all of our flaws, that we focus on the strengths God has entrusted into us, the skills we’ve been given, and those whom we can serve from our strength. It’s so important to know God’s word so that we can recognize the lies when we encounter them, and so that we realize God loves us just as we are, as His children, but that He also loves us so much He doesn’t want to leave us where we are. Quotables from the episode:If you have ever questioned who you are, what your purpose is, or how God views you, then today is the perfect show for you.  We all have lies that we have come to believe about ourselves. One very common lie that people believe is “I am not enough (pretty enough, talented enough, educated enough…).” The truth is, we’re not enough, but Jesus is enough in us. His word says that he will give us everything we need for life and godliness. Another common lie that many believe is “I’m alone” or “I’m invisible.” A U.S.A. Today study said that half of Americans said they had one or fewer people that they could talk to about meaningful things, and that includes spouses and family. So if you have more than one close person in your life to share things with, consider yourself blessed. Sometimes we feel especially alone when we go through transitions (like a move, or a new job, or we’ve become a new parent with a young baby in the home). If you truly have no one to share with or discuss meaningful things with, that’s an especially good time to seek someone out in the mental health field. The lies that we’re prone to believe really started back in the Garden of Eden when the enemy said, “Did God really say…” When we begin hearing those thoughts, we can pause and ask “What is the source of this?” If God is not the source, and the message is not spoken with love, then we can know it’s not the truth. We need to pay attention to our thoughts. The lies we’ve believed become automatic thoughts.  Go to God’s word to find the truth, and be honest with friends when you’re having trouble remembering the truth so they can speak truth to you. Taking every thought captive is an act of war. It’s okay if it’s a battle. It is hard work. It’s easy to fall prey to the imposter syndrome because as long as we’re on this earth, there’s a gap between our real self and our ideal self. We know deep down in our hearts that we are not all we are made to be.  And we think that’s our responsibility to make that happen on earth. Scripture says that He who began a good work in you will see it through to completion. That takes the weight off our shoulders because God is the one who is responsible for doing that work. We’re often prone to asking “Who do I think I am?” In the Bible when Moses argued with God and tried to convince God that he wasn’t up to the task God was calling him to do, God didn’t answer with a reassurance of who Moses was, He answered with a reassurance of who God was. God basically told Moses, and us, not to focus on who we are, but instead focus on who God is. Sometimes it comes down to us trusting God. We can have an honest dialogue with God and admit “I don’t know if I can trust you, God, but I want to.” God says that when you seek Him with your whole heart, you will find Him. Start by looking not at what has to happen but at what strengths you already possess. What characteristics of God show up in your life? What are some of the skills God has given you? And who is God asking you to serve in this season of your life? Put those three things together, and those overlapping circles in the middle of those three is probably your God-given sweet spot. These Bible Verses describe how God sees you. They will help you see yourself as God sees you. God says you are created in His image. (Genesis 1:27) “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” God says you are a loved child of the Most High God. (John 1:12) “Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.” God thinks you are beautiful. (Song of Solomon 4:7) “You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.” When God looks at you, He sees the righteousness of Jesus. (2 Corinthians 5:21) “God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” Scripture References: 2 Corinthians 10:5, “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” Genesis 1:27, “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” John 1:12, “Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God." Song of Solomon 4:7, “You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.” 2 Corinthians 5:21, “God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” Recommended Resources: You’re Already Amazing: Embracing Who We Are, Becoming All God Created Us to Be by Holley Gerth https://amzn.to/2MOM7DU Fiercehearted: Live Fully, Love Bravely by Holley Gerth https://amzn.to/36kBT62 Strong, Brave, Loved: Empowering Reminders of Who You Really Are by Holley Gerth https://amzn.to/36jKdDe You’re Going to Be Okay: Encouraging Truth Your Heart Needs to Hear, Especially on the Hard Days by Holley Gerth https://amzn.to/2rKtr0S See Yourself as God Sees You Who God Says You Are: 17 Scriptures About our True Identity Rejoice! You are Not Alone! God is With You! YourRX 17 Bible Verses: Who God Says You Are and What God Says About You 10 Scriptures for When You Need Strength Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Holley: Website / Instagram / Twitter / Facebook / Pinterest For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails  /  Website  /  Blog / Facebook /  Instagram  / Twitter (@DrMBengtson)  /  LinkedIn  / Pinterest / YouTube  Guest: Holley Gerth Holley Gerth is the Wall Street Journal bestselling author of You’re Already Amazing as well as several other books. She’s a follower of Jesus, wife to Mark and mama to Lovelle. She loves encouraging the hearts of women and you can connect with her at www.holleygerth.com. Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson   Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: If you have ever felt overwhelmed, worn out, or overcome by holiday pressures, then today is the perfect show for you. Today we’re going to be talking about soul care: how to reduce anxiety with tips on tending to your soul and remaining unruffled during the chaos of the holidays Whether we have a lot of time or a little time, our Heavenly Father delights in spending time with us. When we spend time with Him, we can rid ourselves of worry, fear, and anxiety, and remain in His peace. When we think about Jesus’s three years of ministry, he walked into the most chaotic environments but brought His peace with Him. So we can walk into any situation, allowing God’s peace to dominate us, and then it will spread outward. As believers with the Holy Spirit, we do carry God’s peace with us, but too often we forfeit that peace by becoming consumed by the chaos around us. Peace is not the opposite of chaos, it comes from inside so it’s not dependent on our circumstances. We need to look at situations from God’s vantage point. We are all capable of bringing His peace to our situations but we have to be more deliberate and less easily influenced by our circumstances. Anxiety comes from looking at our circumstances rather than up at our heavenly Father. We lose our peace when we’ve gotten our focus wrong. We never see the entire situation, but He can because He’s already gone before us. So often we become consumed by focusing on the details when He wants us to leave the details to Him and trust Him with the big picture. Try to make time for family, friends, and memory making. Be sure to make sure you are already plugged into God, before the chaos takes over. Taking time at the end of the day to still our thoughts and give God our cares of the day can help us sleep more peacefully and wake up unruffled the next morning. By looking over the plans of the next day, we can wake up prepared instead of in a panic about the day. Understand that your wellbeing is paramount to God, as well as the wellbeing of those around you. You cannot get water from an empty well. It’s just not possible to pour out when we ourselves are dry and empty. He wants us to be taking care of our own soul, and taking care of our physical body so that it doesn’t give out on you. Quotables from the episode: “Find your voice, live your story.” Edie Melson Whether we have a lot of time or a little time, our Heavenly Father delights in spending time with us. When we think about Jesus’s three years of ministry, he walked into the most chaotic environments but brought His peace with Him. Scripture References: John 14:27, “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” Philippians 3:16, “Only let us live up to what we have already attained.” Recommended Resources: Books in the Soul Care Series Soul Care When You’re Weary by Edie Melson https://amzn.to/2EK2Io2 Soul Care for Writers by Edie Melson https://amzn.to/2tIPgyH Soul Care When You’re Grieving (releasing January 2020) Soul Care When You’re an Empty Nester (releasing August 2020) Unruffled: Thriving in Chaos by Edie Melson and Rhonda Rhea https://amzn.to/2PP52AN “Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson https://amzn.to/2ZSTP4N Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2zB0e7J “Hope Prevails Bible Study” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2yMdN46 Social Media Links for Host and Guest: To connect with Edie Melson: https://ediemelson.com/ https://www.boldvisionbooks.com/ https://www.instagram.com/Stop2Pray/ https://twitter.com/EdieMelson https://www.facebook.com/edie.melson For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: To order Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: https://drmichellebengtson.com/breaking-anxietys-grip/ To order Hope Prevails: https://drmichellebengtson.com/hope-prevails-book/ Website: https://drmichellebengtson.com/ Blog: https://drmichellebengtson.com/blog/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrMichelleBengtson Twitter: https://twitter.com/DrMBengtson (@DrMBengtson) LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmichellebengtson/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmichellebengtson/ Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/drbhopeprevails/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/MichelleBengtson Radio Show Host: http://graceandtruthradio.world/shows/your-hope-filled-perspective/ Guest: Edie Melson is a woman of faith with ink-stained fingers experiencing life through the lens of her camera. No matter whether she’s talking to readers, fellow creatives, or writers, her first advice is always “Find your voice, live your story.” As an author, blogger, and speaker she’s encouraged and challenged audiences across the country and around the world. Her numerous books reflect her passion to help others develop the strength of their God-given gifts and apply them to their lives. Edie has this to say about her heritage, “I’m creative out of self-defense. As the daughter of an artist-mother and musician-turned-photographer-father, I’d have been a disgrace if I hadn’t been true to my own creativity.” Edie’s a popular speaker and a board member of the Advanced Writers and Speakers Association, the director of the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference, and the social media director of Southern Writers Magazine. Connect with her on her website, www.EdieMelson.com and through Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. She and husband Kirk have been married 38+ years and raised three sons. They live in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains in SC where they love to hike and wander the mountains. Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson   Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: We all want a peaceful Christmas, but, “life gets busy.” Sometimes we’re forced to slow down, and guess what? We discover we actually CAN let go of some of the tasks and duties that not only weigh us down, but also steal our peace. Don’t we all desire more peace during the holidays? From November first until the decorations come down sometime in January, and then the credit card bills start coming in, stress and anxiety rise and with it, our peace dwindles. What a shame when the reason for the holiday is the celebration of the Prince of Peace. What if I told you that you really can let go of some of the anxiety and overwhelm of the holiday season with some simple ways to create more peace during the holidays? It’s true. I’ve been there and have been so grateful for making some simple changes so that I could celebrate from a peaceful place. You can too as you read about ways to create a more peaceful holiday season. Last week, on Ways to create a More Peaceful Holiday Season Part 1 - Episode 35, we talked about the fact that in order to create a more peaceful holiday season, we need to remember who the source of our peace is. We also started talking about ways to recognize and reduce our expectations of ourselves and others in order to experience less worry and anxiety and more of His peace during the holidays. So often Paul addressed the people in his letters by saying “Grace and peace to you from God our Father through Jesus Christ our Lord.” God wants us to experience His peace, But we cannot experience true peace apart from God’s presence.” So much worry, fear, and anxiety are a result of trying to maintain control of things that we cannot control. And we certainly cannot control others’ expectations. If all the holidays' preparations are a burden to you, whose expectations are you trying to live up to? Consider sitting the family down to determine what expectations they have. If you didn’t do ____, it wouldn’t feel like Christmas to them. This could mean just sending digital Christmas cards instead of physically mailing cards. Or perhaps you reduce your baking to just baking the family’s absolute favorite treats. Consider lessening the amount of decorating you do to the favorite décor for your family. You might also consider cutting back on the holiday meals to just the favorite dishes or buying a precooked meal to reduce the stress you encounter during the holiday season. Limiting the gift-giving not only simplifies things, but helps you be a good steward of what God has given you, and lets you enjoy people over presents. Assess why you do what you do? Is it because you’re trying to live up to someone else’s expectations? Is it bringing you joy or draining yourself of joy? In our gift-giving, I think it’s so important to teach our children that Christmas isn’t about them, but about the greatest gift God could ever give in the birth of His son. And it’s great to take a lesson from the wisemen and limit our gift-giving to those that are the most special way to communicate our love to each other. We try so hard to set the perfect table, cook the perfect meal, and give the perfect gifts. But one great gift to give others is to release them from our expectations of how they will respond. They will never live up to the expectations in our mind anyway. Another way to maintain peace during the holidays is to choose our focus.  It’s crucial that we focus on maintaining our healthy routines during the holidays. Consider continuing to make time for a daily quiet time, getting in your regular exercise, make rest a priority, and eat well. But it’s also important to maintain a nightly routine: review your calendar for the next day or two so you aren’t taken by surprise the next day, record the new tasks that come up that must be completed, consider reading an advent reading or similar devotion each evening before going to bed, and pray thanking God for what He enabled you to do during the day and giving him your cares for all your tomorrows. Another way to choose our focus is to limit technology during the holiday season. It’ll free up your time to get some of the holiday-specific tasks completed. Another way to choose our focus is to limit negativity and negative inputs. Also consider helping those who are alone or are going through a hard time during the holidays. Even when you are feeling down, you’d be surprised how helping others will encourage your own heart and bring a sense of peace to your heart and mind. Quotables from the episode: We cannot experience true peace apart from God’s presence. In our gift-giving, I think it’s so important to teach our children that Christmas isn’t about them, but about the greatest gift God could ever give in the birth of His son. Even when you are feeling down, you’d be surprised how helping others will encourage your own heart and bring a sense of peace to your heart and mind.  Scripture References: Colossians 3:15 “Let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.” Isaiah 26:3 “He will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is stayed on thee.” Luke 6:31 “Do to others as you would like them to do to you.” Philippians 4:6-7 “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. THEN you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” Recommended Resources: “Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson https://amzn.to/2ZSTP4N Breaking Anxiety’s Grip free study guide https://drmichellebengtson.com/breaking-anxietys-grip-study-guide/ “Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2zB0e7J “Hope Prevails Bible Study” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2yMdN46 Social Media Links for Host and Guest: For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: To order Hope Prevails: https://drmichellebengtson.com/hope-prevails-book/ Website: https://www.DrMichelleBengtson.com Blog: https://drmichellebengtson.com/category/blog/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrMichelleBengtson Twitter: https://twitter.com/DrMBengtson (@DrMBengtson) LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/DrMichelleBengtson/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmichellebengtson/ Pinterest:  https://www.pinterest.com/Drbhopeprevails/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/MichelleBengtson Radio Show Host: http://graceandtruthradio.world/shows/your-hope-filled-perspective/ Dr. Michelle Bengtson is an international speaker, and the author of the bestselling, award winning “Hope Prevails: Insights From A Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression” and the award winning companion “Hope Prevails Bible Study” and the soon to be released “Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises” (Sept 2019). She has been a board certified clinical neuropsychologist for more than twenty years. This doctor knows pain and despair firsthand and combines her professional expertise and personal experience with her faith to help others be all God created them to be. Using sound practical tools, she affirms worth and encourages faith. Dr. Bengtson offers hope as a key to unlock joy and relief—even in the middle of the storm. She and her husband of thirty-two years have two teenage sons and reside in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area. She blogs regularly on her own site: http://www.DrMichelleBengtson.com and is on most social media platforms. She is also a popular podcast show host of “Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson” at https://apple.co/2madPRo Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: Holidays are a busy time, and we experience an increase in stress, commitments, and chaos. But what we really want is to be able to experience the holiday joy while keeping our peace. Today we’re going to discuss some practical ways to keep our peace during the holiday season. Don’t we all desire a more peaceful holiday season? From November first until the decorations come down sometime in January, and then the credit card bills start coming in, stress and anxiety rise and with it, our peace dwindles. What a shame when the reason for the holiday is the celebration of the Prince of Peace What if I told you that you really can let go of some of the anxiety and overwhelm of the holiday season with some simple ways to create a more peaceful holiday season? It’s true. I’ve been there, and have been so grateful for making some simple changes so that I could celebrate from a peaceful place. You can too as you read about ways to create a more peaceful holiday season. Sometimes we go into the holidays with expectations we have of ourselves, expectations we have of others, and feeling the weight of expectations others have of us. After my mother died, I felt the weight of being the new matriarch of the family, and the pressure to do things the way my mother had done it. But over time, I realized that living up to those spoken or unspoken expectations was stealing my peace and joy during a time when the commercials and Hallmark movies tell us should be the most wonderful time of the year. 1. It’s so crucial that we remember who the source of our peace is. If we were to really understand the nature of God, not only would we not have to worry about peace, but all the other worldly concerns we have would go away. Jesus came not just as our savior, but also the Prince of Peace. In my newest book, “Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises,” one of the chapters talks about “God Is” our peace. We sacrifice our peace when we take our eyes off God and put our focus on the circumstances going on around us.   A regular discipline of spending time with God and in His word, will remind us of who we are in Him. During the holiday season before you do any of the holiday tasks, take a moment, stop where you are and mentally go through the list of who you are and who the source of your peace is.  When we realize how much God cares for us, and the fact that nothing takes Him by surprise, we can rest in His peace. One way to remember the source of peace, is remembering Jesus only had three years on this earth to complete his heavenly mission, his kingdom assignment. Yet, we never saw Jesus running from appointment to appointment. He walked everywhere, and He walked at the pace God set for Him. We sacrifice our peace because we make a long list of to do’s that we think we must get done each day. We can get caught up in anxiety when we think of all the demands we put on ourselves. Yet Jesus said His yoke is easy and His burden is light. What if we started off the day asking God what HE wants us to do today? We’ve been invited to participate in the ministry of reconciliation. It’s something we get to do. Sometimes the most important thing on our agenda is seeing the people around us. 2. It’s important to assess and reduce our expectations on ourselves and others. We can try so hard to buy the perfect gift, to cook the perfect meal, or set the most elegant dinner table. But we cannot control how others will respond to our best efforts. In the familiar story about Jesus visiting Mary and Martha, I’m grateful that Jesus didn’t say that what Martha was doing wasn’t important. In fact, scripture said that Martha was doing the preparations that needed to be done. But Martha sacrificed her peace by worrying about all the details, whereas Mary kept her peace because she made Jesus her priority. Too often we continue rituals and traditions because we feel like that’s what is expected of us. But when we do, we sacrifice our peace. We want to spend time around the table not focused on the details, but on creating memories for our families to enjoy. Quotables from the episode: To enjoy a more peaceful holiday season, it’s crucial that we remember the source of our peace. Sometimes we preach the loudest just by taking time for the person in front of us. To enjoy a more peaceful holiday season, It’s important to assess and reduce our expectations on ourselves and others. Scripture References: Isaiah 9:6 “For a child is born to us, a son is given to us. The government will rest on his shoulders. And he will be called: Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Luke 10:40-42 “But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, ‘Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!’ ‘Martha, Martha,’ the Lord answered, ‘you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.’” Recommended Resources:  “Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson https://amzn.to/2ZSTP4N Breaking Anxiety’s Grip free study guide https://drmichellebengtson.com/breaking-anxietys-grip-study-guide/ “Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2zB0e7J “Hope Prevails Bible Study” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2yMdN46 Social Media Links for Host: For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: To order Hope Prevails: https://drmichellebengtson.com/hope-prevails-book/ Website: https://www.DrMichelleBengtson.com Blog: https://drmichellebengtson.com/category/blog/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrMichelleBengtson Twitter: https://twitter.com/DrMBengtson (@DrMBengtson) LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/DrMichelleBengtson/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmichellebengtson/ Pinterest:  https://www.pinterest.com/Drbhopeprevails/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/MichelleBengtson Radio Show Host:  http://graceandtruthradio.world/shows/your-hope-filled-perspective/ Dr. Michelle Bengtson is an international speaker, and the author of the bestselling, award winning “Hope Prevails: Insights From A Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression” and the award winning companion “Hope Prevails Bible Study” and the soon to be released “Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises” (Sept 2019). She has been a board certified clinical neuropsychologist for more than twenty years. This doctor knows pain and despair firsthand and combines her professional expertise and personal experience with her faith to help others be all God created them to be. Using sound practical tools, she affirms worth and encourages faith. Dr. Bengtson offers hope as a key to unlock joy and relief—even in the middle of the storm. She and her husband of thirty-two years have two teenage sons and reside in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area. She blogs regularly on her own site: http://www.DrMichelleBengtson.com and is on most social media platforms. She is also a popular podcast show host of “Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson” at https://apple.co/2madPRo Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: We only get one life to live, and we don’t want to take it for granted. In this episode, we sit down and talk with author and speaker, Tracie Miles, about trusting God in Difficult Times, and how to find joy in the hard times. Today’s guest is my friend, Tracie Miles. Tracie is an author, speaker, and Director of COMPEL training for Proverbs 31 ministries. Tracie has walked through several difficult valleys in recent years and took the time to share not only the journey she has been on, but how she learned to cope and find joy again. Tracie shared that a key to loving life again and finding joy when life is hard, recording those times in our history when God was faithful to encourage our hearts when life gets difficult again. Tracie also suggested finding a support system, which may or may not be in the church. She further shared the importance of getting enough rest, sleep, eating well, and perhaps even seeking out a Christian counselor. Tracie pointed out that frequently a stumbling block to our joy is our attitude and perspective. She talked about the difference between complaining to God and lamenting as we share our sorrows with God. Tracie pointed out that if we truly want God’s joy, that it’s crucial we recognize our value and know that God truly loves us. Tracie talked about the importance of having God’s perspective: When Jesus looks at us, He sees us through the lens of mercy, and grace. Quotables from the episode: If you’ve been going through a hard time trusting God in difficult times, then this is the show for you to listen to!  During those really difficult, painful experiences in life, it helps to look back and remember all those other times before when God was faithful and brought me through, and trusting that He will bring us through the current situation as well Make sure you find a strong support system. Friends, family, people in your church who can also give you spiritual support, to help keep you grounded in your faith so you are strong enough mentally and physically to be able to do the hard things. Make sure that you are taking care of yourself: physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Especially if others (like children) are depending on you, you’ve got to take care of yourself in order to be able to attend to the needs of others. Eat well, exercise, and do what it takes to sleep. We have to choose not to let our circumstances dictate our joy. It’s so important that we let God renew our thoughts and renew our mind, because only then can the real healing begin. Besides our circumstances (which are often largely outside of our control), another stumbling block to keeping our joy is out attitude and perspective; the thoughts we entertain. We have to be intentional about the thoughts we have. If we keep having the same negative thoughts we had yesterday and the day before, we’ll end up having the same negative outcome. If we truly want to experience joy, it’s crucial that we not only recognize our value, but that we also love ourselves. When Jesus looks at us, He sees us through the lens of mercy, and grace. He doesn’t look at what we’ve done or haven’t done, or all our mistakes or regrets, or sins or failures. We can’t have joy and love other people, and love on other people, really until we love ourselves. There’s no way we can experience joy and happiness when we complain frequently. Complaining is really against God but lamenting is sharing our sorrow with Him. We need to keep in mind that divorce results in grief, just like after losing someone to death. The difference is that you mourn the loss of someone who is still living. You mourn the loss of the relationship, and the dreams you had. People going through a separation or divorce need to be treated with tenderness or sympathy rather than judgement or condemnation, or even rather than offering advice or taking sides. Being content in all situations doesn’t mean that we necessarily like or approve the situation, but that we trust that God has us right where we are supposed to be and He will provide for my needs. Scripture References: Psalm 46:1-2 God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble. So we will not fear when earthquakes come and the mountains crumble into the sea. Isaiah 41:10 “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”   Recommended Resources: Love Life Again: Finding Joy When Life is Hard by Tracie Miles https://amzn.to/2RlCxeS Unsinkable Faith: God-Filled Strategies for Transforming the Way You Think, Feel and Live by Tracie Miles https://amzn.to/33WBbtD Your Life Still Counts: How God Uses Your Past To Create A Beautiful Future by Tracie Miles https://amzn.to/2YjoHLL Stressed Less Living: Finding God's Peace In Your Chaotic World by Tracie Miles https://amzn.to/38apQcZ https://drmichellebengtson.com/how-testimonies-in-bible-bolster-faith-during-hard-times/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/7-things-learned-from-hd-times/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/5-tips-to-cope-with-the-hard-times/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/never-alone-15-bible-verses-assure-you-when-you-feel-alone/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/scriptures-when-you-need-strength/ Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson https://amzn.to/2ZSTP4N Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2zB0e7J Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2yMdN46 Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/p31traciemiles/ Facebook Live Life Again Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/683895538615656/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/traciemiles/ Twitter: @traciesmiles https://twitter.com/traciewmiles Blog: www.traciemiles.com     For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: To order Hope Prevails: http://drmichellebengtson.com/hope-prevails-book/ Website: http://www.DrMichelleBengtson.com Blog: http://drmichellebengtson.com/category/blog/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrMichelleBengtson Twitter: http://www.Twitter.com/DrMBengtson (@DrMBengtson) LinkedIn: http://www.LinkedIn.com/in/DrMichelleBengtson Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/drmichellebengtson Pinterest:  http://www.Pinterest.com/Drbhopeprevails YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCn92DHzGSZk8psDb2FKazOQ Radio Show Host: http://graceandtruthradio.world/shows/your-hope-filled-perspective/ Guest: Tracie Miles Tracie Miles is a national Speaker and Author with Proverbs 31 Ministries. She is the author of four best-selling books, Unsinkable Faith: God-Filled Strategies for Transforming the Way You Think, Feel and Live. (2017), Your Life Still Counts: How God Uses Your Past To Create A Beautiful Future (2014) and Stressed Less Living: Finding God's Peace In Your Chaotic World (2012). Her latest book released in 2018 called Love Life Again: Finding Joy When Life is Hard. Tracie is a contributing author to the popular Zondervan NIV Women’s Devotional Bible, and the Proverbs 31 Encouragement for Today Daily Devotional Book, in addition to being a monthly contributing writer for the Proverbs 31 Ministries Encouragement for Today daily devotions which reach over one million people per day around the globe. In addition to her speaking and writing, Tracie is the Director of COMPEL Training at Proverbs 31 Ministries, has 3 adult children and lives in Charlotte, North Carolina.   Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson   Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: If you have ever been abused by someone in the church, been manipulated by the church, or been under abusive authority within the church, or want to know how to avoid all the above, then this show is the perfect show for you. In this episode, I speak with Athena Dean Holtz about spiritual abuse. Those at greatest risk of being the victim of spiritual abuse appear to be those who don’t truly know what the Word of God says. Manipulators thrive on control and thrive on converting others to their way of thinking. Intimidation is another characteristic of abusers, leaving their victims feeling all alone, powerless, defeated, and victimized. While most situations of abuse are not the victim’s fault, it can nonetheless be so helpful for the victim to ask God the Father “What role did I play in this?” When we take responsibility for our own behavior, it strips the abuser of their power. Furthermore, learning what behaviors and patterns are recurring and leaving victims wounded, helps us take responsibility for the roll we played, and it makes us more responsible for having honest dialog with the one who is wounded by agreeing in prayer, and agreeing with what God says about us, and often has the added benefit of helping us not repeat behaviors and patterns in relationship that would lead to future abuse. Quotables from the episode: It’s so crucial that we know the Scripture and know when it is being taken out of context. Furthermore, when we aren’t familiar enough with the scriptures for ourselves can make us easily intimidated by the scriptures when others proclaim them. If we leave wounded areas in our life unhealed, leaves us open to further work by the enemy of our soul. Intimidation is a common strategy used by those who are abusive. And that’s just like the enemy, who is a big bully and is intimidating when Jesus isn’t like that at all. When we have been hurt and wounded by people, that can leave a void in our lives that can leave us open to being wounded by others and be drawn in by others in the future, and manipulators are good at observing and figuring out what our triggers points and vulnerable weak spots are, so they can use those to their advantage. Abusers often begin with a grooming process, where they take a special interest in someone and go out of their way to make that person feel special. But at the same time, they also make it seem that anyone who questions, or challenges, or who points out anything that could be negative as the enemy. The abusers will often make it sound righteous by cutting off anyone who disagrees with their position. In the grooming process, they also want to isolate you and cut you off from friend, family members, and anyone who might point out the fallacies of their beliefs and help you see truth. If a spiritual leader is not humble enough to allow people to challenge them on their opinions or teachings, but instead intimidate or get angry, that’s a very dangerous place to be. To aid in our healing, we have to be willing to ask God, “What was my role in this? Where did I open the door for the enemy to come in? What do I need to take responsibility and repent for?” God’s way is for us to be teachable and humbling ourselves to his conviction. Another useful thing to do when you want to ensure that you know truth, is to ask the Holy Spirit “What do you say about this?” The Holy Spirit’s job is to remind us of all truth. But He can’t remind us of the truth if we haven’t already been exposed to it by reading God’s word. If you have a friend or loved one who is being spiritually abused, pray for them. Because of the brainwashing that takes place, they are not likely to listen to your concerns. You might gift them a copy of Athena’s book because it comes from the perspective of someone else who has been there. If you’ve been in a position of having been spiritually abused, do not allow it to steal your trust with others. Not all churches, pastors, or spiritual leaders are abusive. You need to find a safe community of believers who believe the truth, and help you get healed from the past abuse, whereas the enemy would like to use this to isolate you further. Scripture References: Hosea 4:6, “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.” Joshua 1:7 “Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the instructions Moses gave you. Do not deviate from them, turning either to the right or to the left. Then you will be successful in everything you do." Isaiah 30:20-21 “Though the Lord gave you adversity for food and suffering for drink, he will still be with you to teach you. You will see your teacher with your own eyes. Your own ears will hear him. Right behind you a voice will say, ‘This is the way you should go,’ whether to the right or to the left.’” Recommended Resources: Full Circle: Coming Home to the Faithfulness of God by Athena Dean Holtz https://amzn.to/37WpiaC Twisted Scriptures: Untangling 45 Lies Christians Have Been Told by Andrew Farley https://amzn.to/33q1Y1f The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church by David Johnson and Jeff Van Vonderen https://amzn.to/2Drv6Li Damaged Disciples: Casualties of Authoritarian Churches and the Shepherding Movement by Ron Burks https://amzn.to/2DsJWRs “Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson https://amzn.to/2ZSTP4N\ “Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2zB0e7J “Hope Prevails Bible Study” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2yMdN46 Social Media Links for Host and Guest: https://athenadeanholtz.com https://facebook.com/athena.dean1 https://facebook.com/redemptionpress For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: To order Hope Prevails: https://drmichellebengtson.com/hope-prevails-book/ Website: https://www.DrMichelleBengtson.com Blog: https://drmichellebengtson.com/category/blog/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrMichelleBengtson Twitter: https://twitter.com/DrMBengtson (@DrMBengtson) LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/DrMichelleBengtson/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmichellebengtson/ Pinterest:  https://www.pinterest.com/Drbhopeprevails/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/MichelleBengtson Radio Show Host: http://graceandtruthradio.world/shows/your-hope-filled-perspective/ Guest: Athena Dean Holtz Athena Dean is a publisher, speaker, former radio host and pastor’s wife. For the last 30 years she has worked in the industry, spearheading the independent publishing movement in the Christian publishing market. In 2014 Athena co-founded Redemption Press to fill an author-centered niche in publishing. She was president of the Northwest Christian Writer’s Association from 2016-2018, is a president’s club member of Christian Women in Media Association (CWIMA), a member of Advanced Writer & Speaker Association (AWSA), and recently retired host of a weekly radio program, “Always Faithful” on AM 630 KCIS, where she shared God’s faithfulness with women across the globe.  Her newest book recounts the story of her twelve-year Job-like experience and the modern day Cinderella story she is now living. Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: If you have ever felt broken, worthless, or unable to be used by God, then today is the perfect show for you. (And by the way, if it sounds like thunder in the background, there IS thunder in the background. Both Suzie and I were in the midst of terrible storms when we recorded this. But the show must go on. In this episode, I spoke with my friend, Suzie Eller, about how God can heal our broken places. Suzie and I discussed how we all have areas of brokenness in our lives, and so often God uses those areas of brokenness to become areas of ministry after God has come in and healed us. By inviting God into those broken places, God changes us, our direction, our heart, and even the future generation Healing is always a process. While we never become completely healed this side of heaven, we can experience increasing levels of healing over time. Healing was exactly part of the reason Jesus came, and the closer we become to God, the greater the levels of healing we receive. The power of Jesus’s death on the cross is not in anything we do, but instead in what He did for us. By healing us in our areas of brokenness, we can then comfort others who may go through similar situations. Suzie discussed three things we don’t have to do for our healing: earn God’s love, do this alone, or run away. Quotables from the episode: Whenever we see the word “will” in Scripture, that is a promise from God. Knowing God changes us. But it doesn’t just change us, knowing Him changes our direction, it changes our heart, and it changes the next generation. Healing goes on for a lifetime. We never become fully healed this side of heaven. Our story matters a lot, and our woundedness looks different from person to person, but Jesus came for us.  We begin the healing process by embracing the truth that no matter what it looks like, He has us on His heart, and He also knows how to heal us. Our woundedness can look very different from person to person. We can be wounded from people, from the church, from sin, from loss... Jesus knows where our woundedness lies and how to heal us. If we could have healed ourselves, we would have. Jesus meets us where we are. 3 Things You Don’t Have to do for Your Healing: You don’t have to earn God’s love. You don’t have to go anywhere. He meets you right where you are. You don’t have to do this alone. God’s got you. Just like when Peter began to sink, Jesus reaches out to help us. You don’t have to run away. We run away from a lot of things. We run toward comparison and away from God. We run away when we think we’ve made a mistake. But we never have to run away from God. Jesus said He has come for us. If you are running away, you don’t have to run anymore. Just stop, turn around, and move toward Him. When God says “I have come…” or “I have overcome the world…” or “I will fight for you…” takes the pressure off our own shoulders, and puts the responsibility on God’s shoulders. Part of Jesus’s mission statement was to come to heal us. A relationship with God is a discovery process of becoming who He knew all along that we would be. Forgiveness is crucial in order to mend our heart. It’s hard, but it’s not something we have to do, but rather, that we get to do. It’s a surrendering process to what God wants to do in us. Forgiveness is opening the door to say, whether you apologize or not, whether you understand or not, I’m going to release you so that I can run wholeheartedly after who God wants me to be. We tend to ruminate in our thoughts on how we want situations to go. We give way too much mental real estate to unforgiveness, which keeps us from being free. That’s when we need to pray, “Lord, do in my heart what I cannot do for myself.” God will change our heart as we surrender it. Our heart is a little bit like a jigsaw puzzle, and bitterness, resentment, and unforgiveness are pieces of the puzzle. As we hold onto those pieces, our heart (the puzzle) can never become whole until we give God all the pieces so that He can come in and mend and then it becomes a beautiful picture. How frustrating is it when we go to put a jigsaw puzzle together and we get to the end and one or two pieces are missing? It’s up to us to allow God to have all the pieces of our broken heart in order to mend it and allow it to become a beautiful picture. We are not limited by one chapter of our story. We can live in that one chapter, or we can look at that one chapter and see it as just a short portion of our life. That one chapter doesn’t have to be our destiny. Our broken heart doesn’t just impact ourselves. It also impacts those around us. We aren’t meant to heal alone. We can take advantage of good Godly counsel, and friends who will speak the truth in love. Go to the people who will shine a light into our dark places that will help us grow. You are worth fighting for. The one truth is: God sent His son for us so we can be free. He said you were worth fighting for. Imagine yourself in a competition in a boxing ring, but picture God in that ring with you, wearing boxing gloves to fight for us. He is greater than us, and knows the perfect way to help. The power of the cross is not in what we can do, but in what has already been done for us. He loves you like crazy. You are not alone. He’s in this with you. Scripture References: Luke 4:18-19, “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, for he has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free, and that the time of the Lord’s favor has come.” Matthew 6:8, “Don’t be like them, for your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him!” Ephesians 1:19-21, “I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms. Now he is far above any ruler or authority or power or leader or anything else—not only in this world but also in the world to come.” Recommended Resources: “The Mended Heart: God’s Healing for Your Broken Places” by Suzie Eller https://amzn.to/2KJoZpA “Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2zB0e7J “Hope Prevails Bible Study” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2yMdN46 Social Media Links for Host and Guest: https://tsuzanneeller.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/mended-heart-sample-1.pdf www.facebook.com/SuzanneEller www.instagram.com/suzanne.eller www.pinterest.com/suzieeller www.twitter.com/suzanneeller.com For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: To order Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: https://drmichellebengtson.com/breaking-anxietys-grip/ To order Hope Prevails: https://drmichellebengtson.com/hope-prevails-book/ Website: https://drmichellebengtson.com/ Blog: https://drmichellebengtson.com/blog/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrMichelleBengtson Twitter: https://twitter.com/DrMBengtson (@DrMBengtson) LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmichellebengtson/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmichellebengtson/ Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/drbhopeprevails/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/MichelleBengtson Radio Show Host: http://graceandtruthradio.world/shows/your-hope-filled-perspective/ Guest: Suzanne Eller Suzanne (Suzie) Eller is an ECPA bestselling author, podcaster, and popular media guest. She co-hosts, along with Holley Gerth and Jennifer Watson, the More Than Small Talk podcast. Suzie has written 10 books and is writing her latest, Joy Keeper, which will be launched in 2020. She’s mom to three grown children and their spouses, wife to Richard, and “Gaga” to six beautiful littles under the age of eight. When she’s not writing, she’s with her family, hiking, cycling, kayaking, dancing with her littles at the Farmer’s Market. Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson   Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: If you have ever felt like God didn’t or couldn’t love you, then today is the perfect show for you. In this episode, I had the opportunity to chat with Wendy Blight about her journey to discovering how much God loves her, and how that has positively impacted her outlook since that time. Wendy shares her most harrowing life experience, and how that caused her to view God initially, question God, and come to know God’s love in a new and transforming way. We all go through experiences that cause us to question, and sometimes even question God. Such experiences can either cause us to turn away from God in anger, or turn toward God to find His love and comfort despite our circumstances. We often have a picture of God that is quite different than who He really is, until we begin to get to know God’s character. Wendy shared what helped her get through life’s difficult trials, and how He can change us if we let Him. Wendy discussed the importance of answering the question “Who is on the throne of my heart,” and how that impacts our attitudes and behaviors. Wendy shared how we can know and truly receive God’s love, and how much He desires that for each one of us. Quotables from the episode: Many people question if God loves them, especially when it seems God allowed things to happen to us that He could have prevented. It’s hard to associate someone who supposedly loves you and who is so powerful who allows bad things to happen. But the truth is nothing separates us from the love of God. There are several universal questions people ask when going through a dark time, “God are you real?” and “God do you care? Sometimes we grow up with a picture of God that isn’t consistent with the God of the Bible. What we really need to know is the character of God. Being in the word of God can give us a new lens and a new perspective. Even when God allows things to happen, He is there, He cares, He loves us, He weeps for us, and He is waiting for us on the other side. We will be more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus. But to be a conqueror, we have to go through the battle. But we make it through that because of Him. He can take the most ugly, traumatic messes of our life and make them beautiful with his healing, peace, love, and joy. An important question for us to ask is, “Who is on the throne of my heart?” God wants to be on the throne of our heart. He wants to be our everything. When we talk about what is on the throne of our heart, it’s anything, like a recurring thought pattern, that comes to you all the time and governs your day or governs your life. Who or what am I looking to for my hope, and for my safety and my security? That’s an indication that that thing holds a higher place in your heart and in your life than God does. In such situations, it’s important to have Scriptures which can interrupt those thought patterns, and speak those scriptures out loud over our lives and our situation which cause us to look to other things or other people. When we do it faithfully and consistently, God will use it to change us. When you have the perspective of God sitting on the throne of your heart, it helps you love everyone better. If we don’t truly know how much God loves us, then we can’t give that kind of love away. We love out of the overflow of our heart, so that means our heart must first be filled up with the knowledge of how much He loves us. The reason God loves you so much is because you are His: a child of God. We are blood-bought children of the One True God. That is our identity. When we carry the identity around that we are lavishly loved by the God of the universe, and He lives inside of us, that empowers us. No matter what you’re walking through right now, God is living inside of you and He promises He will never leave us or forsake us. Instead, He is living inside us to help equip us and teach us. Jesus came to save us, despite all our faults. If we were perfect that would make His sacrifice for us worth nothing. Scripture References: 1 John 3:1 “Consider the kind of extravagant love the Father has lavished on us … He calls us children of God. It’s true, we are His beloved children.” 1 John 5:12 “Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life.” 1 John 4:4 “You, dear children are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.” Recommended Resources: “I Am Loved: Walking in the Fullness of God’s Love” by Wendy Blight https://amzn.to/2XfwPfv FREE Declaration from Wendy https://wendyblight.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Wendy-IAL-WIF-Declaration.pdf https://drmichellebengtson.com/great-love-prompts-great-sacrifice-its-what-love-does/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/ask-dr-b-truth-for-when-you-feel-unloved/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/its-what-love-does/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/love-broke-through/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/does-god-love-me/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/because-he-loves-you-in-case-you-were-wondering/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/words-from-a-loving-father/ “Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson https://amzn.to/2ZSTP4N “Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2zB0e7J “Hope Prevails Bible Study” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2yMdN46 Social Media Links for Host and Guest: https://wendyblight.com/ https://twitter.com/wendy_blight Twitter @wendy_blight Facebook https://www.facebook.com/WendySBlight/ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/wblight/ For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: To order Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: https://drmichellebengtson.com/breaking-anxietys-grip/ To order Hope Prevails: https://drmichellebengtson.com/hope-prevails-book/ Website: https://drmichellebengtson.com/ Blog: https://drmichellebengtson.com/blog/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrMichelleBengtson Twitter: https://twitter.com/DrMBengtson (@DrMBengtson) LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmichellebengtson/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmichellebengtson/ Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/drbhopeprevails/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/MichelleBengtson Radio Show Host: http://graceandtruthradio.world/shows/your-hope-filled-perspective/   Guest: Wendy Blight Wendy is a wife, mother, author, Bible teacher, attorney, and the Biblical Content Specialist for Proverbs 31 Ministry’s Online Bible Studies. Her heart's desire is to help women fall in love with God's Word. To learn it, pray it, and know with confidence they can tackle any problem life presents through it. Wendy has authored four books, Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner, Living So That, I Know His Name, and her newest book, I Am Loved: Living in the Fullness of God’s Love. Wendy has been a featured guest on Oprah Radio, The 700 Club, Family Life Today with Dr. Dennis Rainey, Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss, and Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman. Wendy lives with her husband, Monty, in Charlotte, North Carolina and loves most when her two children, Lauren (26) and Bo (20), come home to visit and fill their home with lots of love and laughter!   Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson     Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: If you are the parent or relative of a special needs child or support a friend who is, then today is the perfect show for you. Misty is the parent to a son who had grand mal seizures and was eventually diagnosed with autoimmune encephalitis and PANDAS. The strep virus went to his brain and began to attack his brain, leaving him with multiple deficits. He was born with club feet, rarely slept the first three years of his life, had severe sensory sensitivity, had delayed speech, and required multiple hospitalizations. She felt very much alone because none of her friends could relate, and she homeschooled her children which further isolated them.  In this episode Misty shares how she and her husband found hope despite parenting a child with special needs. She offers insight for other parents with a child with special needs, as well as for how friends and family can support parents with a child with special needs. God knew each of us before we were knit in our mother’s womb, and He has a purpose and a plan for each of us. Remembering this is crucial for parents with a child with special needs. He has given you your child because He knew you were the best parent this child could have. Now lean into Him for wisdom and direction. Quotables from the episode: You are never alone on your journey. Life is hard, but God is always there with us God entrusts our children to us. He knows out of all the parents, who are the perfect parents for our children.  Nonetheless, He wants us to seek Him for wisdom in our parenting endeavors. It’s not our responsibility for us to have all the answers, but if we seek Him, He will guide us. We have no control. We’d like to think that we have control over our lives but we don’t. But if God has allowed something to come into our lives, God is good, and He loves us, and we can trust that His sovereign hand has allowed it to happen, and we can learn and grow from it. No matter what that circumstance is, He is our hope, and He will see us through it. God loves us for who we are, just right where we are. We don’t have to do anything to earn His love. Parents of special needs children share some universal struggles. They tend to feel alone, and for that it helps to be in community both with other parents of special needs children, but also with parents of children that don’t have special needs. It’s so important that parents of special needs children, and all parents really, take care of themselves because if we won’t take care of ourselves, we are not going to be able to care for those God has entrusted to us. During those times when we feel like we aren’t cut out for parenting, shifting our perspective to one of gratitude and praise makes all the difference. Yes, parenting is hard, especially a child with special needs, but it also affords some blessings we wouldn’t have had otherwise, like meeting different people, and even traveling to different places because of their medical care. Also, cling to God’s word because it is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path. Get into the word and pray. Be expectant that God wants to answer you. Recognize your child as the blessing that he/she is from the Lord, and look for the joy afforded to you by having them in your presence.   Scripture References: Psalm 139:13, “You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb.” Psalm 127:3-5, “Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him. Children born to a young man are like arrows in a warrior’s hands. How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of them!” Matthew 19:14, “But Jesus said, ‘Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children.” Recommended Resources: “The Struggle is Real: But So Is God” by Misty Phillip  https://amzn.to/2Nss92P https://drmichellebengtson.com/trusting-children-to-fathers-care/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/8-simple-prayers-to-pray-daily-for-our-children/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/no-labeling-my-child/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/trouble-communicating-with-my-child-on-the-autism-spectrum/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/does-my-child-have-attention-problems/ “Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson https://amzn.to/2ZSTP4N “Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2zB0e7J “Hope Prevails Bible Study” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2yMdN46 Social Media Links for Host and Guest: https://mistyphillip.com https://www.facebook.com/misty.phillip/ https://www.instagram.com/mistyphillip/ https://twitter.com/mistyphillip https://www.pinterest.com/mistyphillip/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/misty-phillip-135924b3/ For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: To order Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: https://drmichellebengtson.com/breaking-anxietys-grip/ To order Hope Prevails: https://drmichellebengtson.com/hope-prevails-book/ Website: https://drmichellebengtson.com/ Blog: https://drmichellebengtson.com/blog/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrMichelleBengtson Twitter: https://twitter.com/DrMBengtson (@DrMBengtson) LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmichellebengtson/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmichellebengtson/ Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/drbhopeprevails/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/MichelleBengtson Radio Show Host: http://graceandtruthradio.world/shows/your-hope-filled-perspective/ Guest: Misty Phillip Misty Phillip is passionate about helping women overcome challenges in life by seeking Jesus, studying the Word and growing in grace. Founder and host of the By His Grace Podcast, sought after speaker at MistyPhillip.com. Misty is the author of The Struggle is Real: But So is God Bible Study. Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: Today we’re talking about how to help someone with depression. October is National Depression Awareness Month. Earlier in the month, we’ve heard several guests share their experiences and their hope-filled perspectives as it pertained to depression. Yet I felt that we would be remiss if we didn’t also have an episode addressing how to help someone with depression because depression doesn’t occur in isolation—it impacts our spouses, our family, our friends, and others around us. Mental health awareness is two-fold: One learning to live with it; the other learning to love through it. If you have a spouse, friend, or loved one with depression, and you want to know how to help, this is the episode for you. By 2020, depression will be our greatest epidemic worldwide: greater than heart disease, cancer, and diabetes combined. Depression is considered a medical condition, specifically, a mood disorder. Everyone’s experience with depression is different but there are some general, common signs and symptoms: -Change in mood (sad, blue, irritable, agitated, angry) -Change in socialization -Decreased interest in previously enjoyable activities -Decreased energy level which can make normal daily tasks difficult to accomplish -Changes in sleep and appetite (sleeping and/or eating too much or too little) -Self-medicating (drugs, alcohol, spending, gambling, shopping, work) -Crying -Thoughts of suicide or self-harm While we can be prone to feel helpless to help someone with depression, particularly if we have never experienced it ourselves, there are some practical things we can do to help: Enter into their experience with them and be present. Offer to make a doctor’s appointment for them and offer to go with them. Make plans with them. Even if they decline, keep offering. Ask how you can pray for them and pray with them. Remain encouraging and positive. Meet tangible needs (i.e. car pool, pick up grocery items, run errands). Be willing to just sit and be with them. Convey there is hope.   Often, people can figure out what to DO for someone, but they often stumble over what to SAY. In my private practice, and through my own personal struggles, I’ve found this to be a huge stumbling block. There are definitely things NOT to say: “It’s all in your head.” “Snap out of it.” “Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.” (All of these things convey a lack of sensitivity to the pain they are experiencing. You’d never say these things to someone who has cancer, and depression is just as much a medical diagnosis.) “This too shall pass.” (That is true, but it doesn’t make someone struggling with depression feel any better. Even a tornado passes, but it leaves damage and devastation in its wake.) “What doesn’t kill you will make you stronger.” (First of all, many with depression consider suicide, so it’s never a good idea to joke about dying. Secondly, most with depression don’t care about getting stronger, they just want to survive.) “Others are worse off than you.” (Isn’t this true for everyone? But saying that doesn’t even acknowledge the pain the person with depression is in. And why is their pain any less valid?) “I know how you feel.” (If you’ve never struggled with depression, you don’t know how they feel. Even if you have experienced depression, the situation and symptoms and complicating factors may be entirely different. It’s better not to even try to compare.) Helpful things TO say: “I love you.” The person with depression often can’t love themselves much less believe that others love them. They need to hear this now more than ever, even if they don’t believe it. “I’m here for you.” Someone struggling with depression feels so alone. They need to know that others care enough to be present with them in their pain, rather than trying to fix it. “You are important to me.” When struggling with depression, self-esteem is often at risk. They feel all alone and need the assurance that their standing in your eyes and your life doesn’t change just because of the depression. “I’m sorry you’re hurting.” While I do not recommend saying you know how someone feels, I do suggest you offer kindness, compassion, and concern for their pain. “Is there something I can do for you?” Often, our actions speak louder than words. When you offer to help, you enter into their pain. They may not know how you can help, but by asking the question, you open up the opportunity for dialogue. “You may not believe this now, but you won’t always feel this way.” When one is struggling with depression, the whole world looks black, and the future seems to offer only more of the same. It can be helpful to encourage them that this is a season, and they won’t always be in this place. “What might help you feel better?” This can help them start to think pro-actively about things that help, and can clue you in on how you can support them. For example, if they mention that they always feel better after a walk, offer to walk with them. “What might be making your depression worse?” This can help them step back and take a look at things they need to change (e.g. sleeping too late in the morning may leave them feeling lethargic and sluggish all day, so setting an alarm to get up earlier might combat that), and can also help you better know how to support and pray for them. “We will get through this together.” Depression can leave one feeling incredibly lonely, isolated, and as if no one cares or understands. This simple statement conveys support. You aren’t trying to change them or solve the problem, just be present. Remember, someone else’s experience with depression isn’t your fault and you can’t “fix it” for them-only God can do that. But you can support. Say nothing. Words get us into trouble so often, when really, just being present often conveys much greater support than having the perfect thing to say or advice to try to make things better. In my private practice, and when I speak on the subject, I’m often asked if a loved one should mention suicide with someone experiencing depression. I find that so many people are afraid that if they mention suicide, it’ll “put the idea into their head.” Let me assure you, you’re not that powerful. If someone is deeply depressed, they’ve probably already had some thoughts in that direction already. I’m sure you would much rather ask, “I know things are pretty dark right now. Have you ever thought of hurting yourself?” than you would, “Why didn’t s/he tell me how they were feeling?” or “Why didn’t I do something?” If you ask a friend of someone you love if they’re contemplating suicide, it shows you care, and it opens up a dialogue to let them express their true feelings and can be the first step toward getting them help. Quotables/Tweetables: Mental health awareness is two-fold: One learning to live with it; the other learning to love through it. When it comes to depression, the enemy of our soul seeks to steal our joy, kill our peace, and destroy our identity. Depression will be our greatest epidemic worldwide by 2020. You didn’t cause another person to become depressed, but you can be a supportive part of the solution. No one wants to be depressed. If they knew how to alleviate the depression on their own, they would. Our comments should communicate love, concern, and support, not judgement, shame, or criticism. Scripture References: John 10:10 “The thief comes only to steal, and kill, and destroy, but I have come that they might have life and have it to the full.” Recommended Resources: “Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2zB0e7J “Hope Prevails Bible Study” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2yMdN46 https://drmichellebengtson.com/hope-prevails-despite-depression/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/a-letter-to-one-struggling-with-depression/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/this-thing-called-depression-signs-and-symptoms/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/how-do-i-know-if-im-depressed-common-symptoms-of-depression/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/10-verses-of-hope-for-when-you-are-down-or-depressed/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/20-ways-to-fight-depression/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/can-i-be-cured-of-depression/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/10-things-to-know-if-you-have-a-depressed-loved-one/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/how-to-help-a-depressed-loved-one/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/what-to-say-when-a-loved-one-is-depressed/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/what-not-to-say-when-a-loved-one-is-depressed/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/15-ways-to-help-depressed-husband-wife/ Social Media Links for Host and Guest: For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: To order Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: https://drmichellebengtson.com/breaking-anxietys-grip/ To order Hope Prevails: https://drmichellebengtson.com/hope-prevails-book/ Website: https://drmichellebengtson.com/ Blog: https://drmichellebengtson.com/blog/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrMichelleBengtson Twitter: https://twitter.com/DrMBengtson (@DrMBengtson) LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmichellebengtson/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmichellebengtson/ Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/drbhopeprevails/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/MichelleBengtson Radio Show Host: http://graceandtruthradio.world/shows/your-hope-filled-perspective/ Guest: About Dr. Bengtson Dr. Bengtson studied neuroscience and is board certified in clinical neuropsychology. She established her own clinical practice in the Dallas area. From her professional and personal life, she recognized a deep lack of understanding of the call to “renew our minds” and the transformational effects a robust understanding of this has on our physical and mental health and outlook. Dr. Bengtson lives to foster regeneration and renew life in her listeners. She recognizes brokenness in her life and others’ and offers steps we can take as we walk with Christ through the thin places.   Dr. Bengtson authored the award-winning “Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression” and its award-winning companion “Hope Prevails Bible Study.”  Her third book, “Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises” will be available in September 2019 (Revell). She blogs at DrMichelleB.com and maintains a Monday morning radio show and podcast at GraceandTruthRadio.world. She is a frequent guest on Fox News Radio and speaks at conferences and churches internationally.   Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.