Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast

Episode Summary: If you have ever experienced depression or anxiety or suffered the loss of a friend or loved one to death by suicide, then today is the perfect show for you. September 8-September 14, 2019 is National Suicide Prevention Week in the United States of America, so I wanted to devote this episode to discussing suicide prevention. This is also the week before my newest book, “Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises” releases in all major retailers. Because those who get to the point where they consider suicide as a viable option are often overcome with anxiety, it seemed only fitting that we would have an episode that would cover both issues. Scripture tells us in Psalm 34:18 that “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” If that is you today, as one who is feeling broken hearted, crushed in spirit, or perhaps, hopeless, I hope that you will stay with us and listen to our conversation today between a board certified clinical neuropsychologist and a first response crisis chaplain, but more importantly, as two individuals who have been there. My guest today, Veronica Sites, is a first response crisis chaplain. She grew up in a family of first responders. And sadly, she lost a family member to death by suicide. This experience caused a shift in how she responded in such situations. But she also experienced some tragic life experiences which brought her to the point that she began to believe some lies that took her down the path to attempting to end her own life by suicide. When she woke up she told a friend, “The Lord is going to use this for His glory. You just watch.” And that is what has happened, as she now serves as a first response crisis chaplain and she tries to educate about suicide prevention. It’s okay to ask God how we are to get through our most difficult circumstances. When God’s children submit to Him, He will often send us back to give others hope. We must be so very careful of the words we speak. When we speak things like “I can’t do this anymore,” we forfeit in the spiritual, and give the enemy an open door to bring havoc into our lives. The enemy takes just a seed of truth and twists it to try to deceive us. That is why it is so crucial that we truly know the truth of God’s word. Use the truths of God’s word. Meditate on scripture, listen to praise and worship. When the stinking thinking sets in, speak it out and ask the Lord to unpack it like a trunk. He has given us power, love, and a sound mind. Quotables from the episode: The Lord never wastes a hurt. God transforms pain that was meant to be destructive into something that can be productive for His namesake and the healing of others. People don’t necessarily want to die…they just want the pain to end. You are the temple of the living God.We can always trust the Lord, even when we don’t know what the outcome is going to be. Scripture References: Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. 2 Timothy 1:7 For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and (self-discipline. NIV), (NASB - discipling / sound judgement) Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. 2 Corinthians 10:5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. Recommended Resources: “Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson https://amzn.to/2ZSTP4N “Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2zB0e7J “Hope Prevails Bible Study” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2yMdN46 https://drmichellebengtson.com/i-have-a-confession-im-a-christian-and-i-was-suicidal/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/the-sadness-behind-suicide/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/suicide-theres-another-way/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/yes-christians-get-depressed-there-is-hope/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/this-thing-called-depression-signs-and-symptoms/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/10-verses-of-hope-for-when-you-are-down-or-depressed/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/15-ways-to-help-depressed-husband-wife/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/dear-patient-now-i-understand/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/5-promises-from-god-to-the-patient-i-didnt-meet/ Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Veronica Sites  Website: https://www.conflictresolutionspeaker.com/ FaceBook https://www.facebook.com/conflictresolutionspeaker/ Twitter link https://twitter.com/VeronicaSites Pinterest link https://www.pinterest.com/veronicasites/ Vimeo link https://vimeo.com/veronicasites Youtube link: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPDc6__zg_pGKmRlhJL_m0Q? For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: To order Hope Prevails: https://drmichellebengtson.com/hope-prevails-book/ Website: https://drmichellebengtson.com/ Blog: https://drmichellebengtson.com/blog/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrMichelleBengtson Twitter: https://twitter.com/DrMBengtson (@DrMBengtson) LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmichellebengtson/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmichellebengtson/ Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/drbhopeprevails/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/MichelleBengtson Radio Show Host: http://graceandtruthradio.world/shows/your-hope-filled-perspective/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: If you have ever felt hopeless, helpless, or worthless, if you have ever felt like giving up the fight and ending it all, then today is the perfect show for you. If you’ve ever considered attempting suicide or lived following a failed suicide attempt, you’ll want to hear our guest’s story in this episode. In this episode of Your Hope-Filled Perspective, I talk with my guest, Rob Decker, who shares very candidly about his failed suicide attempt, and how he has found hope for a better life.  Rob shares his story about growing up in a dysfunctional home, watching his parents model poor choices with drugs and alcohol, his own history of substance abuse, and finally culminating in a failed suicide attempt. Then Rob shares how, despite his upbringing and his own poor choices, he has found hope and is living a joy-filled, hopeful life, and how you can too. Quotables from the episode: If you have ever felt hopeless, helpless, or worthless, if you have ever felt like giving up the fight and ending it all, then today is the perfect show for you. If you’ve ever considered attempting suicide or lived following a failed suicide attempt, you’ll want to hear our guest’s story in this episode. Even when our earthly parents reject or abandon us, God is our Heavenly Father and He will take care of us. God is our Father, and because of that, we can know everything will be okay. Christ still heals today, and He could simply touch us and heal us, but sometimes we learn more through the process and become closer to Him as a result. Despite the difficult circumstances we go through, the only way we can find freedom is to forgive. So often God uses our trials, our tribulation, our childhood, our experiences to help someone else. Find your peace in God and know that He has a purpose for your life. He has great things planned for your life. He will carry you through the trials. Find your hope in Him. He won’t let you down. The best decision you can make is to make Jesus Christ your Lord. It’s also important to make the decision to take care of yourself. Exercise, eat right, get enough rest, surround yourself by like-minded individuals who really care about your well-being, and do things that bring you joy. Scripture References: Psalm 27:13 “I would be in despair if I did not believe I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.” Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for a future and a hope.” Psalm 40:1-3 “I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God.” Recommended Resources: https://drmichellebengtson.com/i-have-a-confession-im-a-christian-and-i-was-suicidal/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/the-sadness-behind-suicide/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/suicide-theres-another-way/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/yes-christians-get-depressed-there-is-hope/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/this-thing-called-depression-signs-and-symptoms/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/10-verses-of-hope-for-when-you-are-down-or-depressed/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/15-ways-to-help-depressed-husband-wife/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/dear-patient-now-i-understand/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/5-promises-from-god-to-the-patient-i-didnt-meet/ “Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2zB0e7J “Hope Prevails Bible Study” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2yMdN46 Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Rob Decker: Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/Decker_Ro Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rob.decker.589 For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: To order Hope Prevails: https://drmichellebengtson.com/hope-prevails-book/ Website: https://drmichellebengtson.com/ Blog: https://drmichellebengtson.com/blog/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrMichelleBengtson Twitter: https://twitter.com/DrMBengtson (@DrMBengtson) LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmichellebengtson/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmichellebengtson/ Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/drbhopeprevails/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/MichelleBengtson Radio Show Host: http://graceandtruthradio.world/shows/your-hope-filled-perspective/ This show is made possible thanks to generous donations from listeners like you. If you would like to support this ministry, you can make a tax-deductible donation to Words of Grace and Truth (501c3) by going here:  https://give.cornerstone.cc/GraceAndTruthRadio and putting “Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson” in the box marked “Designations.” Guest: Rob Decker Rob experienced a failed suicide attempt that led to a relationship with God. He suffered through many years of sadness, anger and confusion and fed that with drugs, alcohol and bad relationships. To God’s glory, his eventually turned into a story of forgiveness, understanding and love. Rob desires to inspire, encourage and give hope to those who are experiencing similar battles. Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson   Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: As a board-certified clinical neuropsychologist, not a day goes by that I don’t have to address the importance of rest with my patients struggling from medical and mental health disorders ranging from ADHD to post-concussion syndrome. As a society that is now driven to better and faster technology, rest has become a lost art, but no less fundamentally important to our physical emotional, cognitive, and spiritual well-being. God granted us both time and the model of rest for our good, yet we’ve come to treat it as a weakness or a punishment. If you have ever felt worn out, weary, and longing for more, then today is the perfect show for you. In this episode, Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith and I talked not just about the importance of rest, but about the different types of rest (and some of them might surprise you). As a neuropsychologist, I’m frequently interviewed about what we can do to help our physical and emotional well-being, and Dr. Dalton-Smith and I talked about the importance of rest to help us be more productive and more creative. We think we can accomplish more by doing more and skimping on rest, but the opposite is true. Quotables from the episode: Often, obeying God’s command to rest takes a step of faith. When God gives us a command to rest, it is for our good. It is opening up room for something better. But so often we are unwilling to trust Him in that process. We keep trying to grab on to the small blessings, but it keeps Him from giving us the really big one coming our way. We tend to treat rest as if that’s an indulgence. Sometimes God has to take us to the place where we are at the lowest of the low in order for us to hear His voice. When we are so busy, and not taking time to adequately enter His rest, the business drowns out His voice from our ears We can get so busy that we have a religious relationship with God but no true personal relationship There are seven types of rest: physical rest (active and passive) mental rest (the easiest way to know you don’t have it is when you lie down to go to sleep at night but you can’t turn your brain off) emotional rest (rest that comes from being able to be very truthful and authentic; being able to say what you mean without having to censor your words) spiritual rest (breaking away from a religious relationship with God and focusing on intimacy with God; spending time in His presence to worship Him) social rest (understanding which people are draining in your life, and which ones are more life giving and make you feel better just by being around them; social rest is rest from the presence of others) sensory rest (taking breaks from sensory stimulation like the tv, radio, lights, being touched) creative rest (comes from allowing yourself the space to appreciate beauty) People often need to make a mindset shift: rest is really about restoration. Jesus perfectly modeled rest for us. He frequently pulled away for a time to rest. He modeled that even in ministry, it’s okay to set aside time to rest. Rest seems like it should be a simple process but so many people struggle with fatigue and insomnia because we don’t realize exactly what kind of rest we need. The type of rest you need, may not be the type you think you need. You can be a constant producer of a lot of goodness in your life, without ever taking time to taste the sweetness of the things you’re producing. Taking a Sabbath is difficult for so many because they cram so much into their life that it would be overwhelming to think of taking an entire day off each week, but if they could even start with an hour or a couple of hours and get used to that, then they might get to the point where they can take an entire day of Sabbath rest. Most of us need to start thinking of rest as a lifestyle. Rest actually helps you be more productive, because your joy level stays up, your energy levels stay up. Emotional rest is when you longer feel the need to perform. To take time to rest during the day, take time to analyze how your body feels throughout the day. Get up every 60-90 minutes and move around to make sure you aren’t staying in the same position for long periods of time. Incorporate physical rest by assessing whether or not you are experiencing any pain or discomfort in your body. Do some stretches or close your eyes for a few moments to alleviate eye strain. Bring something beautiful or encouraging into your physical space with you. We have a choice to make. Matthew 11:28 says “come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest.” It’s an invitation. Once you choose to accept that invitation, Jesus will carry that burden for us. Scripture References: Isaiah 30:15 This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: “Only in returning to me and resting in me will you be saved. In quietness and confidence is your strength. But you would have none of it.  Hebrews 4:11 So let us do our best to enter that rest. But if we disobey God, as the people of Israel did, we will fall. Matthew 11:28-30 MSG “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Recommended Resources: Free rest assessment at https://ichoosemybestlife.com/quiz/rest-quiz-test/ Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity by Dr. Saundra Dalton Smith https://amzn.to/346V4j8 https://drmichellebengtson.com/embracing-his-rest/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/when-god-commands-rest/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/6-lessons-learned-doctor-orders-more-rest/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/3-lessons-learned-from-a-period-of-rest/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/risking-rest/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/trust-and-rest/ “Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2zB0e7J “Hope Prevails Bible Study” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2yMdN46 Social Media Links for Host and Guest: To connect with Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith: Website: https://ichoosemybestlife.com/ Twitter Handle: https://twitter.com/DrDaltonSmith Facebook Page:https://www.facebook.com/DrSaundraDaltonSmith Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/drdaltonsmith/ Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/drdaltonsmith/ For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: To order Hope Prevails: https://drmichellebengtson.com/hope-prevails-book/ Website: https://drmichellebengtson.com/ Blog: https://drmichellebengtson.com/blog/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrMichelleBengtson Twitter: https://twitter.com/DrMBengtson (@DrMBengtson) LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmichellebengtson/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmichellebengtson/ Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/drbhopeprevails/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/MichelleBengtson Radio Show Host: http://graceandtruthradio.world/shows/your-hope-filled-perspective/ Guest: Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith Saundra Dalton-Smith is an author, speaker, and board-certified internal medicine physician. She has an active medical practice in Alabama (near the Birmingham area). She received her B.S. in Biochemistry at the University of Georgia and graduated with honors from Meharry Medical College in Nashville. She has been an adjunct faculty member at Baker College and Davenport University in Michigan teaching courses on health, nutrition, and disease progression. Dr. Dalton-Smith is a national and international media resource on the mind, body, spirit connection and a top 100 medical expert inGood Housekeeping Doctors’ Secrets. She has been featured in many media outlets including Women’s Day, Redbook, First For Women, MSNBC, and Prevention. She is the author of Set Free to Live Free and Come Empty (winner 2016 Golden Scroll Nonfiction Book of the Year and 2016 Illumination Award Gold medalist). Her newest release is Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity, including ground-breaking insight on the seven types of rest needed to optimize your productivity, increase your overall happiness and live your best life. She has shared her tips on merging faith and medicine with over 16,000 health care professionals to encourage the current and next generation of doctors to treat the whole person. Learn more about Dr. Saundra at https://ichoosemybestlife.com/. Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson   Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: We all struggle with pain from our past. Places where brokenness continues to cut deep into the fabric of our soul.  If you have ever felt stuck, and really, no matter where you are on the path to wholeness, our discussion today will comfort, equip, and challenge you to keep pressing forward, past brokenness to healing.  My guest, Jennifer Watson, author of Freedom! The Gutsy Pursuit of Breakthrough and the Life Beyond It https://amzn.to/2KRuPpv shares her story as a pastor’s wife and women’s ministry leader who has battled depression, anxiety, brokenness, and insecurities. Quotables from the episode: We all struggle with pain from our past. Places where brokenness continues to cut deep into the fabric of our soul. If you have ever felt stuck, then this is the episode for you to listen to.  [click to tweet] no matter where you are on the path to wholeness, our discussion today will comfort, equip, and challenge you to keep pressing forward, past brokenness to healing. [click to tweet] You can’t ask someone for direction when they’ve never been where you are going. Sometimes we need to seek the input of counselors, or mentors, or those who are more spiritually mature to help us heal and move forward with our lives. Freedom in a holy confidence to be able to walk in who God created you to be. There is a holy confidence in how God wants to use us. There is a military definition of breakthrough that says it’s the advancement beyond enemy territory. Can’t you just imagine stomping through enemy territory, and not just going up to it, but going beyond it to take back what has been stolen. People have a natural tendency to retreat from pain. But truly, you have to feel it to heal it. You can try to stuff the pain down and ignore it, but if you do, it will come back at an inopportune, unexpected time later. The enemy wants us to remain stuck in our brokenness. He wants us to be fixated on our problems instead of the promises of God. We have to be intentional about not going into hiding anymore, and facing our issues head on, no matter how painful, no matter how long it takes. We have to remember that God is so much bigger than our situations. No matter what battle we are facing, we are not facing it alone. God repeatedly says in His word that He will never leave us, and in fact, in Exodus 14:14, it says He will fight for us, if we will just be still. Where do your thoughts go? A couple indications that we’ve become stuck in a broken place and haven’t moved forward is when we find our conversation always returning to the event, or the person, or the offense, or when we start rehearsing conversations in our mind that we wish we’d had with the person who hurt us. When we focus on problems instead of promises of God, we get stuck. We all need to have those trustworthy people in our life who will not coddle us, but speak truth into our lives when what they see in our lives is not lining up with God’s truth. But they have to be a safe, selected few. Not everyone can fill that role. God wired us to have a deep need for connection, so we need others in our lives. So we want to know others and we want to be known. The only way we can do that is by being vulnerable and sharing the broken parts of our stories; the part of our stories that aren’t quite healed yet. Women have a strong tendency to compare themselves to others, including comparing how bad their situation is to another’s. Sometimes we don’t need others to have the right words to say or to be able to fix our situation, we just need others to be present in our pain. But we are so uncomfortable with silence and pain, that we say things to cover up our discomfort. That’s exactly what happened with Job. His friends came and sat with him in silence for a week, to grieve with him. And they didn’t get in trouble until they started to speak. We can’t look to other people and expect them to be able to heal our hurts or fix our brokenness. Only God can do that. Something that can help us when we are in the middle of the mess, is reminding ourselves that whatever we are going through is temporary—it won’t last forever. It’s also powerful to focus on the Problem Solver rather than the problem itself. Another way to move beyond our brokenness is to take a “negativity fast” where we don’t allow ourselves to talk about the negative things or complain about things in our lives. Interrupting negativity with praise, and positivity and all of the good things that God has done for us, is a game changer. What we need to remember is that even when we don’t see it, God is working out all things for our good. We can bank on His promises so that our problems don’t get to steal the spotlight. Scripture References: John 14:27 ISV “I’m leaving you at peace. I’m giving you my own peace. I’m not giving it to you as the world gives. So don’t let your hearts be troubled, and don’t be afraid.” John 10:10 “The thief comes only to steal, and kill, and destroy; but I have come that they might have life and have it to the full.” Genesis 50:20, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” Recommended Resources: Freedom! The Gutsy Pursuit of Breakthrough and the Life Beyond It. By Jennifer Watson https://amzn.to/2KRuPpv https://drmichellebengtson.com/hope-prevails-the-beginning-of-freedom/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/walking-in-freedom/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/do-your-part-let-god-do-the-work/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/what-ails-you-when-you-need-gods-healing/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/bible-verses-hope-when-you-need-healing/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/10-scriptures-when-you-need-healing/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/the-pain-in-change/ “Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson https://amzn.to/2ZSTP4N “Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2zB0e7J “Hope Prevails Bible Study” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2yMdN46 Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Jennifer Watson: Website: https://www.jenniferreneewatson.com/ Instagram: instagram.com/jenniferwatson FB: facebook.com/jenniferreneewatsonwriter Twitter: https://twitter.com/JreneeWatson For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: To order Hope Prevails: https://drmichellebengtson.com/hope-prevails-book/ Website: https://drmichellebengtson.com/ Blog: https://drmichellebengtson.com/blog/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrMichelleBengtson Twitter: https://twitter.com/DrMBengtson (@DrMBengtson) LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmichellebengtson/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmichellebengtson/ Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/drbhopeprevails/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/MichelleBengtson Radio Show Host: http://graceandtruthradio.world/shows/your-hope-filled-perspective/ Guest: Jennifer Watson Jennifer Watson is the author of Freedom! The Gutsy Pursuit of Breakthrough and the Life Beyond It https://amzn.to/2KRuPpv. Jennifer is a pastor’s wife, mother of two teenage daughters, and national speaker. Jennifer has been in full-time ministry for twenty years and is passionate about investing in others. Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: I’ve got some exciting news to share with my listeners and readers this week! So many of you have asked for it, and it’s finally here! We’re announcing the soon to be released book that YOU asked me to write, to help you in your struggles with worry, fear, and anxiety. Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises will be released by Baker Revell on September 17, 2019. This book is truly a gift from my heart. It was written with you in mind, much like my first book, “Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression”, Breaking Anxiety’s Grip is written from a dual perspective of a doctor who has treated thousands of patients with anxiety, and as a fellow sufferer. As I began to really research for this book, however, God revealed to me that worry, fear, and anxiety are not our portion; peace is. He came to give us peace.  In Breaking Anxiety’s Grip, I share what worry, fear, and anxiety are, where they come from, and what tools we can use to conquer them. I want to encourage you to go pre-order the book now because we have some amazing pre-order bonuses bundled together to give you for free to everyone who pre-orders before September 16, 2019. We are offering digital downloads of the Fear No More Declaration, 3 Beautiful word art prints, 3 fun adult coloring pages, the Spotify link that includes all the songs included in the Recommended Play List at the end of every chapter. The pre-order bundle also includes a digital download of an original painting by Emily Curiak titled “The Price of Peace,” as well as the digital download of Recover: Rest, Relax, Revive, and Rejuvenate playlist with 6 originally composed piano tracks by award-winning composer, producer, and pianist Jamar Jones. In coming weeks, we’ll talk more about worry, fear, and anxiety: what is it, where does it come from, and what do we do about it. But for now, I just wanted to share this exciting news and invite you to come along on the journey with me. Quotables from the episode: We all struggle with worry, fear, and anxiety to some degree, and we’ve come to accept it as normal; that’s why it’s considered the common cold of mental illness. Worry, fear, and anxiety are not your portion, peace is.  Scripture References: “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.” Psalm 139:23 “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7 KJ "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33 Recommended Resources: https://drmichellebengtson.com/announcing-breaking-anxietys-grip/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/breaking-anxietys-grip/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/pre-order/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/15-bible-verses-when-you-need-peace/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/how-to-control-worry-fear-and-anxiety-to-keep-your-peace/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/keeping-peace-when-life-falls-apart/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/scriptures-combat-worry-fear-anxiety/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/talk-back-to-anxiety/ “Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson https://amzn.to/2ZSTP4N “Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2zB0e7J “Hope Prevails Bible Study” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2yMdN46 Social Media Links for Host: For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: To order Hope Prevails: https://drmichellebengtson.com/hope-prevails-book/ Website: https://drmichellebengtson.com/ Blog: https://drmichellebengtson.com/blog/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrMichelleBengtson Twitter: https://twitter.com/DrMBengtson (@DrMBengtson) LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmichellebengtson/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmichellebengtson/ Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/drbhopeprevails/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/MichelleBengtson Radio Show Host: http://graceandtruthradio.world/shows/your-hope-filled-perspective/ Guest: Dr. Michelle Bengtson About Dr. Bengtson Dr. Bengtson studied neuroscience and is board certified in clinical neuropsychology. She established her own clinical practice in the Dallas area. From her professional and personal life, she recognized a deep lack of understanding of the call to “renew our minds” and the transformational effects a robust understanding of this has on our physical and mental health and outlook. Dr. Bengtson lives to foster regeneration and renew life in her listeners. She recognizes brokenness in her life and others’ and offers steps we can take as we walk with Christ through the thin places.   Dr. Bengtson authored the award-winning “Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression” and its award-winning companion “Hope Prevails Bible Study.”  Her third book, “Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises” will be available in September 2019 (Revell). She blogs at DrMichelleB.com and maintains a Monday morning radio show and podcast at GraceandTruthRadio.world. She is a frequent guest on Fox News Radio and speaks at conferences and churches internationally. For more, find her at www.DrMichelleBengtson.com Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Air Date: August 15, 2019 Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: As a neuropsychologist, I know the power of our mind, the power of our thoughts. Have you ever wondered how to deal with fear effectively? If you have ever battled your thoughts, and felt like you couldn’t win, then today is the perfect show for you. Today we’re going to be talking about training our mind to conquer challenges, defeat doubt, and live victoriously.   Today we’re talking to my friend, Kelly Balarie, about what it means to be battle ready. Her book by the same title is one that helps us proactively prepare to fight back against doubt, disbelief, and uncertainty and how to deal with fear in order to live from a stance of determination, resiliency, and faith to be all that God has called us to be.  Kelly offers us tangible suggestions of ways to take heart and keep our minds focused on His truth for victorious living.   Kelly and I talk about how we fight any good fight, first in our mind, because what is in our mind will come out in our actions. When we continue to believe a lie, we really hurt ourselves. Kelly shares how she learned through her difficulties how to deal with fear by changing her thoughts. She explains what it means to be battle ready. She also gives several tips about how to do that, like what it means to adopt a buffet mindset, or how to take a mind vacation.   Quotables from the episode: As a neuropsychologist, I know the power of our mind, the power of our thoughts. If you have ever battled your thoughts, and felt like you couldn’t win, then today is the perfect show for you. [click to tweet] Today we’re going to be talking about training our mind to conquer challenges, defeat doubt, and live victoriously. This is an episode you won’t want to miss. [click to tweet] We fight any good battle first in our mind. We can either try to do things on our own, or we can find life through God. Advancement really comes when we get to the place where we admit that we can’t do it ourselves and we need God. Our mess is our message, and God meets us in our mess. When the trials come, we need to keep our thoughts fixed on heaven, on Jesus, and how we have the mind of Christ. Our thoughts are where the battles are won and lost. We need God’s fresh insight in our thoughts! Faith is a gift from God. It comes from Him, and we don’t have to try to conjure it up or strive to make it happen. We have to preach to ourselves. We have to speak the word of God to our situation and over ourselves. Personalize scripture to remind yourself things like God says you are holy, righteous, more than a conqueror, and victorious in Christ Jesus. Just like the Socrates method of teaching, if you teach what you have learned, you hold onto it better. For Scripture that we don’t understand, all we have to do is ask God to teach us His word, and for the Holy Spirit to reveal the word to our lives. For some, after going through trials or traumas, it can be easy to have a victim mindset. But the truth is we are victorious because of Christ. Jesus died, but because He was raised again, He defeated everything we would face and the enemy’s power over us. We are set free by His love. Our job is to get our mind on the same page as God’s word. It is very powerful when our mind gets in line with the mind of Christ. Out of God’s abundance, He offers us the opportunity to have a “buffet mindset.” He gives lavishly and we never have to worry that He will run out without us getting our fill. The abundant nature of God gives us everything we need, so we don’t need to hoard, or store up, or compete with others. Taking a “mind vacation” can allow us time to ask God for His perspective. A time distance can give us greater ability to see things more objectively. Sometimes we need to create space from our incidents or blow up moments and what God would have us do. Because of that distance, we can give ourselves time and a fresh ability to interpret a situation. The mind vacation frees us up from being too heavily critical of ourselves and adopting a more Godly perspective of our situation. There is freedom in knowing we don’t have to be perfect to be accepted and loved by God. Our greatest advances will come not be defending ourselves but by laying it down and receiving God’s perspective.     Scripture References: 2 Corinthians 10:5, “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”   Recommended Resources: “Battle Ready: Train Your Mind to Conquer Challenges, Defeat Doubt, and Live Victoriously” by Kelly Balarie https://amzn.to/31xt721 “Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears” by Kelly Balarie https://amzn.to/2MKepjM https://drmichellebengtson.com/how-to-fight-fearful-thoughts-win/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/how-to-effectively-fight-fearful-thoughts/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/ask-dr-b-how-to-combat-fearful-thoughts-2/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/how-to-control-worry-fear-and-anxiety-to-keep-your-peace/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/fear-or-faith-you-choose/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/40-scriptures-combat-worry-fear-anxiety-panic/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/5-truths-to-defeat-fear/ “Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2zB0e7J “Hope Prevails Bible Study” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2yMdN46   Social Media Links for Host and Guest:   To connect with Kelly Balarie:   Website: https://purposefulfaith.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/purposefulfaith Twitter: https://twitter.com/kellybalarie   For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: To order Hope Prevails: https://drmichellebengtson.com/hope-prevails-book/ Website: https://www.DrMichelleBengtson.com Blog: https://drmichellebengtson.com/category/blog/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrMichelleBengtson Twitter: https://twitter.com/DrMBengtson (@DrMBengtson) LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/DrMichelleBengtson/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmichellebengtson/ Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/Drbhopeprevails/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/MichelleBengtson Radio Show Host: http://graceandtruthradio.world/shows/your-hope-filled-perspective/ Air Date: August 5, 2019  Guest: Kelly Balarie Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson   Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

016 Hope for Healing from Physical and Domestic Abuse Episode Summary: If you have ever been the victim of physical or sexual abuse, been the target of domestic violence, or survived a traumatic event, then today is the perfect show for you. Today we’re talking about finding hope and healing after trauma, particularly domestic violence. On this episode, I had a very frank discussion with my friend, Melanie Pickett, who experienced a 15-year marriage that entailed domestic violence and sexual assault but shares how she found hope to go on. Melanie not only shared her story, but also the “red flags” that she missed that others need to be aware of. Melanie offers practical suggestions for what to do if you are in an abusive relationship, and how to hold on to hope. Quotables from the episode:  We will all go through hard times, but we have to remember that the trials are just a chapter not the entire story. Life will go on. After experiencing a traumatic event, trauma counseling can be so helpful and so healing. Even in the darkest nights, God still provided. One of the red flags Melanie missed was her husband’s extreme possessiveness which in the extreme isn’t about wanting to be with you but wanting to control and manipulate. Look at your relationships and ask yourself if they really line up with the love chapter in the Bible (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). Is your relationship patient and kind? Not jealous or boastful or proud or rude? Does it not demand its own way? Is it not irritable and keep no record of being wrong? Does it rejoice over truth and not injustice? That is a good guideline for what a healthy relationship is like. Things to consider in your relationship: Are you afraid? Do you feel unsupported or that you can’t share your true feelings? You’re never more alive than when you are in pain, because that’s when you’re on your knees and God is really working. [click to tweet] Melanie never blamed God for what happened to her. She did, however, blame her ex-husband, but over time she came to a place where she could have compassion for how tormented he must have been. If you are in an abusive relationship, it’s not your fault. It’s not okay that it is happening, and you don’t deserve it. Financial concerns is not a reason to stay in an abusive relationship. God will work everything out. There is help, there is hope. You are not damaged goods. Even though the healing process is painful, there are better days ahead. Good Biblical therapy is key for moving on. Don’t stay in an abusive relationship because you think you can change a person. You can’t. Change has to come from God. Do not minimize your situation by thinking “Well, at least he’s not hitting me” because abuse is abuse and you don’t know when things will escalate, and it might cost you your life The most dangerous time for an abuse victim, is when they are trying to leave. Talk with a counselor, a pastor, a friend, or someone you trust. Make a plan, and then get out to safety. Scripture References: Psalm 9:9 “The Lord is a shelter for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble.” 2 Corinthians 12:9 “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’” Psalm 63:8 “I cling to you; your strong right hand holds me securely.” Psalm 18:2 “The Lord is my rock, my fortress, my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.”  Recommended Resources: Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life by Cloud and Townsend https://amzn.to/2SorqAi “The Gift of Fear” by Gavin De Becker https://amzn.to/31cHOXM “Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption” by Laura Hillenbrand https://amzn.to/2YD0bn9 “One Call Away” by Brenda Warner https://amzn.to/2MElzGa “Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2zB0e7J “Hope Prevails Bible Study” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2yMdN46 Social Media Links for Host and Guest: To connect with Melanie Spickett: Blog: https://melaniespickett.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/MelanieSPickett\ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melaniespickett/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melaniespickett/ For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: To order Hope Prevails:https://drmichellebengtson.com/hope-prevails-book/ Website:https://www.DrMichelleBengtson.com Blog:https://drmichellebengtson.com/category/blog/ Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrMichelleBengtson Twitter:https://twitter.com/DrMBengtson (@DrMBengtson) LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/DrMichelleBengtson/ Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/drmichellebengtson/ Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/Drbhopeprevails/ YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/c/MichelleBengtson Radio Show Host:http://graceandtruthradio.world/shows/your-hope-filled-perspective/ Air Date: July 29, 2018 Guest: Melanie Pickett Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson   Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: If you have ever gone through a difficult trial that you hadn’t anticipated, or given an unexpected diagnosis, then today is the perfect show for you. Today we’re going to be talking about how to maintain our hope when unexpected news like a devastating medical diagnosis turns your life upside down. We’ll specifically discuss hope for the fight against cancer. In this episode, Scott Bengtson shares about some of the very difficult life circumstances that turned our lives upside down, from a long-distance commuter marriage for several years to his fight against cancer with a very poor prognosis. He reflected on how his upbringing resurfaced during those times to provide him a foundation on which he could rest his hope despite what doctors warned would be his fate.  We also discussed tips for how we chose to navigate those treacherous waters, while minimizing the negativity in our lives and focusing on what we knew to be true.  Scott and I discussed the importance of knowing what you believe before crisis hits because that is no time to try to determine what you think is true. You must cement your beliefs before you fight against cancer. We also talked about the importance of guarding our hearts and minds, and what exactly that means. We also shared things that people said or did that were of help and encouragement, as well as things that were said or done which were not helpful. Scott ended the broadcast sharing his perspective about how to maintain hope in the difficult times, and reminded us that doctors are just human, and they give their best estimates but that God cannot be put in a box or limited to humanly derived statistics. Quotables from the episode: Tears are liquid prayers. Life may be difficult, but successes still happen. Sometimes we hold on to hope by doing what you know to do. There were many days of discouragement and fear, filled with many anguished prayers. A lot of those days were valley days. But what got us through those dark days was knowing who he was, who his Father was, and how we could go to Him in honest prayers, and we had the privilege to worship Him. The trials we experienced didn’t change the truth that we knew. It is often not living day by day, but depending on God moment by moment. You have to know what you believe before a crisis hits, because that is what you will fall back on when crisis hits. It would have been easier to get through those trials if we had understood the power of our words, and the importance of guarding our minds. We made the decision to no longer watch the evening news or take the daily newspaper because we wanted to limit the negativity that entered our home. We are now less likely to allow people to speak negative things to or over us. And now we are more careful about what we say to others. When someone is going through a trial or devastating diagnosis, your presence is more important than your words. Limit your questions because it can be very wearing to have to answer the same questions repeatedly. In the book of Job, he experienced so many devastating hardships. Job’s friends came and sat with him for 7 days in his time of grief. Yet they got in trouble when they opened their mouths. Don’t say to a person in a crisis situation, “If you need anything, let me know.” If you think of something that might be helpful, just do it. They will appreciate it. Be consistent in your presence and your support.   Scripture References: Philippians 4:1, “Therefore, my brothers and sisters, you whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm in the Lord in this way, dear friends!” Philippians 4:8, “Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”   Recommended Resources: https://drmichellebengtson.com/practical-grace-how-to-not-be-friend-to-someone-with-cancer-part-1/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/practical-grace-what-not-to-say-to-someone-with-cancer-part-2/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/practical-grace-how-to-be-friend-to-someone-with-cancer-part-3/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/how-to-support-someone-with-cancer/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/10-lessons-learned-after-being-diagnosed-with-cancer/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/the-day-i-was-diagnosed-with-cancer-18-promises-when-crisis-hits/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/the-cancer-in-each-of-us/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/what-cancer-taught-me-about-the-church/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/hope-prevails-even-in-cancer/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/how-testimonies-in-bible-bolster-faith-during-hard-times/ “Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2zB0e7J “Hope Prevails Bible Study” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2yMdN46   Social Media Links for Host: For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: To order Hope Prevails: https://drmichellebengtson.com/hope-prevails-book/ Website: https://drmichellebengtson.com/ Blog: https://drmichellebengtson.com/blog/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrMichelleBengtson Twitter: https://twitter.com/DrMBengtson (@DrMBengtson) LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmichellebengtson/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmichellebengtson/ Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/drbhopeprevails/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/MichelleBengtson Radio Show Host: http://graceandtruthradio.world/shows/your-hope-filled-perspective/ Guest: Scott Bengtson Scott earned his electrical engineering degree from Georgia Tech University. He spent the better part of his career in telecommunications. He has been married to his wife, Michelle for 31 years, and together they have two children: one who is a junior in college, and the other a junior in high school. He is a 3-time cancer survivor and gives God all the glory. In his spare time, Scott leads a men’s Bible study and serves in his local church. Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Air Date:  July 22, 2019 Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary:   Today we’re going to be talking about the pain of the friendship relationships that steal your joy. Specifically, toxic friends. Have you ever struggled with a friendship that has gone array? Perhaps you invested yourself fully into a friendship only to find out that the relationship was a bit one-sided, or perhaps even a toxic friendship? If so, then today is the perfect show for you.   There's something wrong with your friendship, but you can't figure out what. Is everything in your head? Unfortunately, most of us have a few toxic friends over the course of our life. Toxic friendships happen to everyone, but we seldom identify the underlying issues while we battle confusion or the friendship breaks up. Friendships can be hard but breaking up is even harder. Maybe you're left bewildered in the friendship's wake, paralyzed to move forward. On today’s show we are going to be talking to Mary DeMuth. After wading through several difficult relationships with toxic friends, Mary reveals the seven different types of toxic friendships and empowers you to identify the messiest relationships causing you the greatest anguish.   I had the pleasure of reading an early copy of her book, The Seven Deadly Friendships and offered my written endorsement: "In 30 years as a mental health practitioner, I've had the privilege of working with patients who have struggled with and suffered because of toxic friends, akin to those detailed in The Seven Deadly Friendships. Mary helps us identify those toxic relationships and then points us to seven life-giving practices to help us receive and extend healthy friendships."   Quotables from the episode:   Have you ever had toxic friends? If so, you’ll want to listen to this episode of Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson. The toxic friendships are based on the seven deadly sins listed in Proverbs 6: haughty eyes, lying tongue, hands that kill the innocent, a heart that plots evil, feet that race to do wrong, a false witness who pours out lies, and a person who sows discord in a family. Almost all sins are relational in some sort of way, whether they are relational toward God or toward others. The difficult relationships we face that coordinate with the seven deadly sins are: Narcissist Nolan, Unreliable Uma, Predator Paige, Conman Connor, Temptor Trevor, Faker Fiona, and Dramatic Drake. For each of these types of relationships, we need to know what the scriptures say about them, but we also need to ask ourselves the question, “Am I like this?” Relationships are built on two or more individuals, and we each play a role in their success or their failure. We need to examine our hearts and become better friends, because the stuff of life is built on friendships. There are a lot of divorce recovery books available, but until now there wasn’t a friendship divorce recovery book to guide us through such relationship breakups. Friendship breakups can be even more painful than a romantic breakup. Part of the reason for that is because we don’t expect it. When you are dating someone to find a mate, you anticipate kissing a few frogs before finding the prince to spend your life with. But especially as women, we tend to look at friendships and expect them to be lifelong and not just for a season. When they break up, we are left wondering “what’s wrong with me?” The deadly friendship that seemed like it would be the least common was actually one of the most common: Conman Connor. When you have equated a relationship with finances or money, which can be as simple as someone friending you on facebook only to turn around and ask you to buy their awesome product, that is quite common. Just about everyone has experienced that kind of a relationship. That is a transactional view of relationship and we need to be super cautious about that. When that happens we are left feeling dirty because we were used, and our relationship is undervalued because they only want you for the dollar sign. In today’s world, Faker Fiona is common. That’s someone with cameleon-like tendencies because we present one way online but often different in person. Narcissistic personalities are often difficult to identify because they present as charming and engaging, rather than controlling and manipulative. It can be hard after a friendship breakup because we blame ourselves even when people with predatory or narcissistic tendencies are skilled at preying on others. It helps to ask, “Why was I attracted to people who are so self-absorbed, or who were preying on me?” It often goes back to childhood, thinking that if we could just get those personality types to love us, then they would complete our incomplete story from childhood. The Lord has to be the completer of our story. He is perfect, He is loving, He loves me no matter what. He can complete that love need that we have. This is not meant to just point the finger, but to help us grow and change and become better friends to others. Relationship is a good thing. God said it was not good for Adam to be alone so He created a companion for Adam in the Garden of Eden. But sin has come into the world, so now it’s a matter of learning how to grow AND how to guard our heart. Jesus had very close relationships with twelve, not with thousands. He modeled for us how to choose good relationships and invest in relationships that want reciprocity. If we imagine the freedom to walk away, and think about how God may heal us, or heal the other person, that can truly be healing to know that things will be okay even if we walk away. It also helps to consult an unbiased party who is not involved in the relationship to get their perspective; either a trusted friend or a counselor. Whether you rely on a couple of close friends who have your back but will speak the truth in love, or a therapist who is unbiased and can offer an unbiased perspective, a neutral third party can reflect the truth back to you so that this doesn’t have to continue as a lifelong cycle. Therapy helps you determine why you continue to choose the same behavior repeatedly. If you feel like you are the one contributing to a relationship, we always have the opportunity to apologize, and repentance does amazing things. But it takes two for reconciliation. If God removes someone from your life, don’t go chasing after them. There is a reason He removed them. It’s not up to us to change other people, we are responsible for our own behavior. Don’t let past pain embitter you to future relationships. If you never open your heart again to safe community, you will spiral down in bitterness. Our prayer for you is that you might identify relationships that are truly not healthy friends, so you can do something about them and remain in community.   Scripture References:   “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.” (Proverbs 13:20) “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” (Proverbs 27:17)   Recommended Resources:   7 Deadly Friendships: How to Heal When Painful Relationships Eat Away at Your Joy by Mary DeMuth https://amzn.to/2xI5bL Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life by Cloud and Townsend https://amzn.to/2SorqAi https://drmichellebengtson.com/10-traits-grace-based-friends/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/ask-dr-b-surviving-a-friends-betrayal/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/who-is-your-best-friend/   Social Media Links for Host and Guest:   To contact Mary: Website: MaryDeMuth.comPrayEveryDay.show: https://www.marydemuth.com/category/pray-every-day-podcast/ Book: 7deadlyfriendships.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AuthorMaryDeMuth Twitter: https://twitter.com/marydemuth Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marydemuth/    For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: To order Hope Prevails: https://drmichellebengtson.com/hope-prevails-book/ Website: https://drmichellebengtson.com/ Blog: https://drmichellebengtson.com/blog/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrMichelleBengtson Twitter: https://twitter.com/DrMBengtson (@DrMBengtson) LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmichellebengtson/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmichellebengtson/ Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/drbhopeprevails/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/MichelleBengtson Radio Show Host: http://graceandtruthradio.world/shows/your-hope-filled-perspective/    Air Date: July 15, 2019   Guest: Mary DeMuth Mary DeMuth is a writer and speaker who loves to help people live re-storied lives. Author of more than 30 books, including parenting books, Southern fiction, and a memoir entitled Thin Places, Mary speaks around the country and the world. Today, Mary is giving of her time to share with us in order that we might enjoy the fruit of healthy friendships.   Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary:   We have all experienced the loss of loved ones, and if you haven’t, you will, because death happens to all of us. If you have ever had a friend or loved one who is terminally ill or referred to hospice care at the end of their life, or wondered about hospice and what they do, then today is the perfect show for you.   In this episode, I’m talking with my friend, Shelley Sisson, a retired hospice and palliative care nurse. Shelley shares what hospice care entails, when it is utilized, and how to die well. She shares that the end of life is like standing on holy ground, and although it can be painful to watch a friend or loved one with a terminal illness die, that we can catch glimpses of heavenly treasures if we will look for them.   When a terminally ill patient has been referred for hospice care, the goal is symptom management and to keep them as comfortable as possible during whatever time they have left. Hospice has a team that works together to provide medication management, self-care, chaplain services, as well as patient and family education to help the family best support their loved one at the end of their life.   Shelley shares how we can best support a friend or loved one with a terminal illness receiving hospice care, as well as how we can support their grieving loved ones.  Death is inevitable for all of us, but we can take the opportunity to die well.     Quotables from the episode:   Today we’re going to be talking about hope in the midst of loving someone with a terminal illness. If you have ever had a friend or loved one who is terminally ill and referred to hospice care, or wondered about hospice and what they do, then today is the perfect show for you. It’s crucial that at the end of life, we learn how to die well. Hospice is medical care that can be provided once a doctor has said that there is nothing else that can be done to cure a condition. Hospice provides care and comfort measures, to address symptoms, and to keep the patient comfortable in their final days. Hospice care is usually provided for the last few days to months of a terminally ill patient’s life. If you or your loved one are not clicking with your hospice team, there are other teams available, and it’s okay to ask to be transferred to work with another team that might be a better fit. Hospice helps provide support for administering medications, self-care for the patient, and trains the family to be able to best support their loved one. There is always a last dose of medication. Someone has to administer the last dose. But it is not the last dose that has caused them to die. It is not something to feel guilty about. Don’t exclude your children from the dying process. They tend to handle it better than adults do. But if you don’t include them, they will be prone to believe lies rather than the truth about the situation, and those lies can haunt them into adulthood. Please don’t tell your little children that the patient went to sleep, because everyone goes to sleep every night, but that can cause fear that they will go to sleep and never wake up. Tell them the truth. Look for Jesus. He promised that He will never leave us or forsake us. He is there in the room with your loved one. If they are staring at someone, ask them what they see. If a patient indicates they are seeing something, encourage them to ask. God gives them glimpses of heaven to prepare them to leave this world and enter the next world. The only struggle they have is leaving this world and leaving their family members behind. It’s okay to cry. Tears are liquid prayers. Some of the signs and signals that we can see if we look for them, are God’s way of comforting them so they are not afraid of leaving this world. But patients and their loved ones often experience fear at the thought of death. But God is not going to let them go through this alone. Tell your friend or loved one that you love them, that you will miss them, but that will be okay. Patients often hold on longer because they fear their loved ones won’t be okay in their absence. Sometimes there are no words. Sometimes words aren’t necessary, but your presence always matters. Don’t be afraid to laugh—laughter is good medicine. To the loved ones of a terminally ill patient, let them know that you are going to be there for them. Let them know that their feelings are normal, and that what they are going through is normal. Let them know that there is no time span cut off for grief. Share your fond memories of them and their loved ones. A new normal will develop although it doesn’t happen quickly. Nothing seems normal anymore, but that will change over time. The intense grief will lessen, but you will still miss your loved one. Even Jesus wept when Lazarus died, which gives us permission to grieve. If you are mourning or grieving, it is not a lack of faith. It just attests to how much you love them, and how much it hurts to go on without them. It’s a hard battle in your own soul to know that they will be better off, even if it means you have to let go. To the one with a terminal illness, take every moment to love on your loved ones that you have. Even with a terminal illness, it can be a blessing to give you a chance to make amends. Love them. Know that Jesus is with you. He is going to be with you in this process and be with you on the other side. To the loved ones of terminally ill patients, if you are both believers, you will see your loved one again. It’s hard, but you will see them again. God is faithful—He will mend your heart. He won’t erase your memories, but He will mend your heart. Not even death can separate us from the love of God.   Scripture References:   Deuteronomy 31:6 “So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Joshua 1:9, “This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Romans 8:38-39 says “And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Zephaniah 3:17 says, “For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”   Recommended Resources:   Crossing the Creek: A Practical Guide to Understanding the Dying Process by Michael Holmes (no amazon link) Living at the End of Life: A Hospice Nurse Addresses the Most Common Questions by Karen Whitley Bell, RN https://amzn.to/32qeqPA Changing the Way We Die: Compassionate End of Life Care and The Hospice Movement by Fran Smith, Sheila Himmel, and Joan Halifax https://amzn.to/32nlyfq https://drmichellebengtson.com/practical-grace-how-to-not-be-friend-to-someone-with-cancer-part-1/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/practical-grace-what-not-to-say-to-someone-with-cancer-part-2/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/practical-grace-how-to-be-friend-to-someone-with-cancer-part-3/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/how-to-support-someone-with-cancer/ “Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2zB0e7J “Hope Prevails Bible Study” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2yMdN46     Social Media Links for Host and Guest:   National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization: https://www.nhpco.org/   For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at:   To order Hope Prevails: https://drmichellebengtson.com/hope-prevails-book/ Website: https://drmichellebengtson.com/ Blog: https://drmichellebengtson.com/blog/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrMichelleBengtson Twitter: https://twitter.com/DrMBengtson (@DrMBengtson) LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmichellebengtson/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmichellebengtson/ Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/drbhopeprevails/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/MichelleBengtson Radio Show Host: http://graceandtruthradio.world/shows/your-hope-filled-perspective/   Air Date: July 8, 2019   Guest: Shelley Sisson, retired hospice and palliative care nurse Shelley was a Certified Hospice and Palliative Care Nurse for 12 years and worked all over the United States, but mostly in Oklahoma and Central Texas. She retired and moved back to Oklahoma. She still has a passion for all things hospice and what it provides to patients and their families.   Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson   Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.