"But Jesus Drank Wine" & Other Stories That Kept Us Stuck

If you’ve ever wondered why certain patterns keep repeating, or how to stop passing pain down the line, this conversation is for you. This week we’re joined by Gina Birkemeier, LPC—licensed professional counselor, international speaker, and award-winning author of Generations Deep: Unmasking Inherited Dysfunction and Trauma to Rewrite Our Stories Through Faith and Therapy. Gina specializes in generational trauma and the intersection of faith and psychology, bringing nearly two decades of clinical work (and her own story) to help people rewrite their narratives through the lens of faith, science, and hope. 📘 What you’ll learn in this episode Invisible scripts & attachment: How early patterns (spoken and unspoken) shape identity, coping, and relationships—and how to name them. Curiosity over combat: Why shouting Bible verses at intrusive thoughts often backfires, and how to pull weeds (roots) before planting truth. After year one AF: Why sobriety can get harder once the behavior changes—because now you’re facing the drivers beneath the drinking. Epigenetics ≠ destiny: Family history creates predisposition, not a prison. What rewiring looks like physiologically and spiritually. Repair with kids: How to apologize well, reopen connection, and invite ongoing feedback without sliding into shame. Inner-child work with Jesus: Meeting unmet needs with compassion when parents couldn’t—or can’t—do the repair. Faith + therapy together: How Scripture and nervous-system wisdom align (“be transformed by the renewing of your mind”). 💌 Resources & Links: Gina’s Book: Generations Deep: Unmasking Inherited Dysfunction and Trauma to Rewrite Our Stories Through Faith and Therapy. 🤝 Join our community: https://butjesusdrankwine.com/community 📖 Order your copy of Love Life Sober: A 40 Day Alcohol Fast to Rediscover Your Joy, Improve Your Health, and Renew Your Mind 📲 Instagram: @butjesusdrankwine🎥 We’re on YouTube too—come hang out!The creators, hosts, and producers of the But Jesus Drank Wine podcast are not healthcare practitioners and therefore do not give medical, psychological or professional advice nor do they intend for the podcast, any communication on behalf of BJDW or otherwise to be a substitute for such. Additionally, the views and opinions expressed in any mention of and/or linked resources are those of the authors/owners of those resources and do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of the But Jesus Drank Wine podcast team or guests of the show. Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Will people still like me? Will I be boring? Will I be left out? We’ve been there, and today our team joins us to share the real story of how friendships shift… and why the changes are ultimately a beautiful blessing.You’ll hear honest fears, surprising blessings, and practical ways to navigate social life alcohol-free, without losing yourself (or your true people).📘 What you’ll learn in this episode: From fear to freedom: The most common friendship worries (being “boring,” losing invites, not fitting in) and what actually happened. Practicing new social firsts: Weddings, themed parties, girls’ nights, how repetition makes it normal (and fun) to show up sober. Quality over quantity: Redefining friendship from “people I drink with” to mutual care, honesty, and presence. Vulnerability vs. lowered inhibitions: Why real connection requires trust, not cocktails, and how to build it. The ripple effect: How your “no” can give someone else permission to skip the drink too. Loosening your grip: Offering up friendships you’re clinging to and watching God bring better-than-expected community. 🕊️ Scripture woven through: Romans 12:2 — Don’t conform; be transformed. Ephesians 3:16–20 — God does immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine. Genesis 22 — Trusting God with what you love (Abraham & Isaac). 💌 Resources & Links:🤝 Join our community: https://butjesusdrankwine.com/community 📖 Order your copy of Love Life Sober: A 40 Day Alcohol Fast to Rediscover Your Joy, Improve Your Health, and Renew Your Mind 📲 Instagram: @butjesusdrankwine 🎥 We’re on YouTube too—come hang out! The creators, hosts, and producers of the But Jesus Drank Wine podcast are not healthcare practitioners and therefore do not give medical, psychological or professional advice nor do they intend for the podcast, any communication on behalf of BJDW or otherwise to be a substitute for such. Additionally, the views and opinions expressed in any mention of and/or linked resources are those of the authors/owners of those resources and do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of the But Jesus Drank Wine podcast team or guests of the show. Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

For the first time ever, we recorded with the team in person—from our Leadership Retreat in Colorado Springs! Join us (plus Sam, Amber, Jill, Tracy, Kelsey, and Lauren) for a cozy, honest roundtable. We talk about the moment each of us got brave, how community breaks shame, and the surprising ways love, joy, and peace grow when alcohol isn’t running the show. Whether you’re just getting curious or already walking your own alcohol exodus, this one’s rich with real-life stories, practical shifts, and Scripture-rooted encouragement. 📘 What you’ll learn in this episode: From “stuck” to starting: Why the first step is the hardest, and how surrender (not control) actually moves you forward. Breaking shame in community: How saying it out loud with safe people dismantles isolation and accelerates healing (Romans 12:2 vibes). Everyday proof of change: Driving the rental car, offering to be DD, cooking dinner with joy, early mornings with God, what freedom looks like IRL. Finding real LJP (Love, Joy, Peace): The quiet practices that replace the evening pour—prayer, needlepoint/creative work, a walk, a mocktail, joyful movement, Scripture. The stories that kept us stuck: “I need it to relax,” “I’ll lose friends,” “What if I can’t change?”—and what God revealed on the other side. Marriage & friendships: Why connection deepens (not shrinks) when alcohol isn’t mediating the relationship. A better-than-expected life: Ephesians 3:16–20 in action—how God keeps doing immeasurably more than we asked or imagined. 🕊️ Scripture woven through: Romans 12:2 — Don’t conform; be transformed. Ephesians 3:16–20 — Immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine. 🤝 Join our community: https://butjesusdrankwine.com/community 📖 Order your copy of Love Life Sober: A 40 Day Alcohol Fast to Rediscover Your Joy, Improve Your Health, and Renew Your Mind 📲 Connect on Instagram: @butjesusdrankwine 🎥 We’re on YouTube too—come hang out! The creators, hosts, and producers of the But Jesus Drank Wine podcast are not healthcare practitioners and therefore do not give medical, psychological or professional advice nor do they intend for the podcast, any communication on behalf of BJDW or otherwise to be a substitute for such. Additionally, the views and opinions expressed in any mention of and/or linked resources are those of the authors/owners of those resources and do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of the But Jesus Drank Wine podcast team or guests of the show. Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

We did it! This episode was recorded in person at our first Leadership Retreat in Colorado Springs, CO. We share the heart behind the weekend, how this ministry began, and what God is building through community. You’ll also get a sneak peek at the next two episodes featuring stories from our leadership team, on life after alcohol and the “friendship shuffle.” Whether you’ve been with us since Episode 1 or you’re brand new, we hope this behind-the-scenes conversation makes you feel right at home with us. In this episode: Retreat highlights: worship around the fire (bear visit included 🐻), shared meals, prayer over every community member by name, and recording together for the first time. The origin story: how a cold email became a friendship, a podcast, and, surprise to us, a ministry. Why community matters: the difference between white-knuckling alone and growing together around Jesus (not wine). Work God has done: what freedom looks like years later, and why it keeps getting better. What’s coming next: two team episodes on (1) the biggest life changes after alcohol and (2) navigating friendships as you grow. An invitation: pray with us as we plan our first in-person gatherings for the whole community. 📖 Order your copy of Love Life Sober: A 40 Day Alcohol Fast to Rediscover Your Joy, Improve Your Health, and Renew Your Mind 🤝 Join our community: https://butjesusdrankwine.com/community📲 Connect on Instagram: @butjesusdrankwine 🎥 We’re on YouTube too—come hang out! The creators, hosts, and producers of the But Jesus Drank Wine podcast are not healthcare practitioners and therefore do not give medical, psychological or professional advice nor do they intend for the podcast, any communication on behalf of BJDW or otherwise to be a substitute for such. Additionally, the views and opinions expressed in any mention of and/or linked resources are those of the authors/owners of those resources and do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of the But Jesus Drank Wine podcast team or guests of the show. Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Sign up for the September 40 Day Fast here: https://butjesusdrankwine.myflodesk.com/septemberfast In Week 6—the final week—of our 6-part Monday series walking through Love Life Sober: A 40 Day Alcohol Fast, we’re covering Days 35–40. These last chapters are all about navigating real-life situations, confronting shame, and stepping fully into lasting freedom. From the workplace happy hour to vacation cocktails, from cultural pressures like “mommy wine time” to the quiet work of letting go of fixation—this week brings together everything you’ve learned and invites you to reflect on how far you’ve come. Whether you’ve been with us since Day 1 or you’re just dropping in, this episode will leave you inspired, equipped, and ready to walk forward in confidence and joy—rooted in your identity in Christ. 📘 This week covers: 💼 Day 35: Alcohol and the OfficeHow to navigate workplace drinking culture with grace and confidence. ⛓️ Day 36: Breaking the Chains of ShameThe truth about shame, why it’s not from God, and how to walk in freedom. 🍼 Day 37: Sobering Up to Mommy Wine CultureUnpacking the cultural messages around “wine mom” life—and how to create new narratives. ✈️ Day 38: Travel and Vacations Without AlcoholHow to enjoy every moment of your trip without needing a drink to make it “special.” 🔓 Day 39: Fixated or Free?Moving from obsessing about not drinking to living in true, joyful freedom. 🌅 Day 40: Reflections on the JourneyLooking back on the fast, celebrating transformation, and setting your eyes on what’s next. 💌 Resources & Links: 📣 Join the September 40 Day FastRegistration is open now for the next live-coached 40 Day Alcohol Fast starting September 8! Walk through the fast in real time with coaching, community, and the support you need to finish strong.👉 Sign up here: https://butjesusdrankwine.myflodesk.com/septemberfast 📖 Order your copy of Love Life Sober: A 40 Day Alcohol Fast to Rediscover Your Joy, Improve Your Health, and Renew Your Mind 🤝 Join our community: https://butjesusdrankwine.com/community📲 Connect on Instagram: @butjesusdrankwine 🎥 We’re on YouTube too—come hang out! The creators, hosts, and producers of the But Jesus Drank Wine podcast are not healthcare practitioners and therefore do not give medical, psychological or professional advice nor do they intend for the podcast, any communication on behalf of BJDW or otherwise to be a substitute for such. Additionally, the views and opinions expressed in any mention of and/or linked resources are those of the authors/owners of those resources and do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of the But Jesus Drank Wine podcast team or guests of the show. Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Sign up for the September 40 Day Fast HERE! In Week 5 of our 6-part Monday series walking through Love Life Sober: A 40 Day Alcohol Fast, we're diving into Days 28–34—and this episode is full of aha moments, empowering truths, and vulnerable conversations to support your sober journey. Whether you’re navigating emotional ups and downs, feeling disconnected from your values, or questioning what fun looks like without alcohol—this episode will meet you there. 📘 This week covers: 💁‍♀️ Day 28: Renewing Your ConfidenceWhy alcohol isn’t the confidence booster we think it is—and how to build real confidence that sticks. ⚠️ Day 29: The Hidden Dangers of AlcoholWe unpack the truth about alcohol’s effects on the body, brain, gut, and heart—plus how knowledge leads to freedom. 🚫 Day 30: The Myth of Clean WineSpoiler alert: there’s no such thing. Clean wine is clever marketing, not truth. 🎉 Day 31: Redefining FunWhen chaos isn’t fun anymore—how to rediscover joy, spontaneity, and peace on your own terms. 💬 Day 32: Filling the Gap & Embracing EmotionLearning to sit in discomfort, feel feelings, and meet God right in the middle of it. 💡 Day 33: Reclaiming Your ValuesWhat matters most to you? And how has alcohol pulled you away from it? This is your call to realign. 🤝 Day 34: Rediscovering True ConnectionHow sobriety deepens your relationships—with God, your people, and your purpose. 💌 Resources & Links: 📣 Join the September 40 Day FastRegistration is open now for the next live-coached 40 Day Alcohol Fast starting September 8! Walk through the fast in real time with coaching, community, and the support you need to finish strong.👉 Sign up here: https://butjesusdrankwine.myflodesk.com/septemberfast 🎙️Past episodes mentioned: 10 Reasons Living Alcohol-Free Has Made Us More Confident Realigning with Your Core Values with Pastor David 📖 Order your copy of Love Life Sober: A 40 Day Alcohol Fast to Rediscover Your Joy, Improve Your Health, and Renew Your Mind 🤝 Join our community: https://butjesusdrankwine.com/community 📲 Connect on Instagram: @butjesusdrankwine 🎥 We’re on YouTube too—come hang out! The creators, hosts, and producers of the But Jesus Drank Wine podcast are not healthcare practitioners and therefore do not give medical, psychological or professional advice nor do they intend for the podcast, any communication on behalf of BJDW or otherwise to be a substitute for such. Additionally, the views and opinions expressed in any mention of and/or linked resources are those of the authors/owners of those resources and do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of the But Jesus Drank Wine podcast team or guests of the show. Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

📣 Sign up for the September 40 Day Fast Here! In Week 4 of our 6-part series walking through Love Life Sober: A 40 Day Alcohol Fast, we’re diving into Days 22–27—a powerful stretch of the fast that explores identity, grief, breaking generational cycles, and some surprising truths about alcohol, anxiety, and even biblical wine. Whether you’re navigating this fast in real time or simply curious about how a 40-day alcohol break can deepen your faith, this episode offers honest stories, practical tools, and fresh encouragement for the journey. 📘 This week covers: 💔 Day 22: Grieving Your Old SelfLetting go of false identities and the “party girl” past can bring grief—but also space for God to reveal who you really are. 🕊️ Day 23: The Truth About TasteIf you think you’ll never stop loving the taste of wine, think again. We unpack the neuroscience behind cravings and how taste buds (and hearts) truly change. 🌱 Day 24: The Joy of Leading by ExampleAre you the first in your family or friend group to take a break from drinking? You’re not alone, and your obedience could ripple out further than you think. 🍷 Day 25: Jesus and WineDid Jesus really drink wine? And what does that mean for us today? We go behind the scenes on how this chapter (and podcast!) came to be. 🌈 Day 26: The Science of JoyAlcohol hijacks our dopamine—and with it, our joy. We explore how your brain rewires and joy returns in sobriety. ⚠️ Day 27: Alcohol and AnxietyIs alcohol easing your anxiety—or fueling it? We share stories, science, and hope for anyone stuck in the stress-drink-repeat cycle. 💌 Resources & Links: 📣 Join the September 40 Day FastWe start September 8! Walk through the fast with coaching, community, and daily encouragement. Sign up here 🎙️Past episodes mentioned: How Alcohol Hijacks Our Mental Health with William Porter 📖 Order your copy of Love Life Sober: A 40 Day Alcohol Fast to Rediscover Your Joy, Improve Your Health, and Renew Your Mind 🤝 Join our community: https://butjesusdrankwine.com/community 📲 Connect on Instagram: @butjesusdrankwine 🎥 We’re on YouTube too—come hang out! The creators, hosts, and producers of the But Jesus Drank Wine podcast are not healthcare practitioners and therefore do not give medical, psychological or professional advice nor do they intend for the podcast, any communication on behalf of BJDW or otherwise to be a substitute for such. Additionally, the views and opinions expressed in any mention of and/or linked resources are those of the authors/owners of those resources and do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of the But Jesus Drank Wine podcast team or guests of the show. Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Sign up for the September 40 Day Fast here: https://butjesusdrankwine.myflodesk.com/septemberfast In Week 3 of our 6-part Monday series walking through Love Life Sober: A 40 Day Alcohol Fast, we're diving into Days 14–21—and this episode is rich with practical tools, mindset shifts, and grace-filled encouragement to support your alcohol-free journey. Whether you're mid-fast, gearing up for September’s live-coached fast, or simply sober-curious, these reflections and real-life stories will help you renew your mind and stay the course. 📘 This week covers: 🧁 Day 14: Navigating Sugar CravingsWhy sugar hits so hard in early sobriety—and how to give yourself grace while blood sugar and dopamine rebalance. 🧠 Day 15: Exploring Alcohol Use ModelsDisease model? Learning model? Self-medication? Understanding different frameworks can help you name your story—and start changing it. 😴 Day 16: Sleep and SobrietyWe share how sobriety gave her the best sleep of her life (and why that matters more than we think). 😬 Day 17: “It’s Not About You, It’s About Them”What to do when others make your not-drinking... about them. Yep, we've been there. 🛑 Day 18: Setting BoundariesHow to say no without guilt—and protect your peace as you walk this path. 💃 Day 19: Joyful MovementFrom walks to Pilates, we explore how movement that feels good (not punishing) can become a new form of self-care. 🙏 Day 20: The Power of GratitudeMore than just a good habit—gratitude can rewire your brain and realign your heart with God. 🕊️ Day 21: Redefining Self-CareIt’s not bubble baths. It’s becoming the kind of woman who regularly returns to God for rest and renewal. 💌 Resources & Links: 📣 Join the September 40 Day FastRegistration is open now for the next live-coached 40 Day Alcohol Fast starting September 8! Walk through the fast in real time with coaching, community, and the support you need to finish strong.👉 Sign up here 🎙️Past episodes mentioned: What Do I Tell My Girlfriends If I’m Not Drinking? 📖 Order your copy of Love Life Sober: A 40 Day Alcohol Fast to Rediscover Your Joy, Improve Your Health, and Renew Your Mind 🤝 Join our community: https://butjesusdrankwine.com/community 📲 Connect on Instagram: @butjesusdrankwine 🎥 We’re on YouTube too—come hang out! The creators, hosts, and producers of the But Jesus Drank Wine podcast are not healthcare practitioners and therefore do not give medical, psychological or professional advice nor do they intend for the podcast, any communication on behalf of BJDW or otherwise to be a substitute for such. Additionally, the views and opinions expressed in any mention of and/or linked resources are those of the authors/owners of those resources and do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of the But Jesus Drank Wine podcast team or guests of the show. Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Sign up for the September 40 Day Fast here: https://butjesusdrankwine.myflodesk.com/septemberfast In Week 2 of our 6-part Monday series walking through Love Life Sober: A 40 Day Alcohol Fast, we’re diving into Days 8–13—a powerful stretch focused on mindset, identity, and learning to renew your mind in Christ. If you’ve ever felt stuck in your thoughts, trapped by unhelpful labels, or frustrated that willpower isn’t cutting it, this week is for you. We explore the truth behind the stories we tell ourselves—and how taking your thoughts captive, anchoring your identity in Jesus, and learning to recognize your triggers can begin to shift everything. Whether you're mid-fast, just getting started, or preparing for September’s live-coached fast, these insights will help you move from shame to self-awareness, and from self-effort to spiritual renewal. 📘 This week covers: 🧠 Day 8: Take Every Thought CaptiveHow metacognition (thinking about your thinking) helps you stop letting lies lead—and start aligning your thoughts with God’s truth. 🏷️ Day 9: Ditching the LabelWhy you don’t need to call yourself an “alcoholic” to pursue freedom—and how unhelpful labels can limit what God wants to do. ⚠️ Day 10: The Willpower TrapWillpower runs out. Good news: Jesus doesn’t. Why grace, habit change, and identity work better. 🙏 Day 11: Prime with PrayerHow prayer can move beyond performance and become your lifeline for connection, comfort, and clarity. 🔁 Day 12: Understanding Triggers and HabitsWhat’s really happening underneath your urges to drink—and how to respond with wisdom, not autopilot. 🚫 Day 13: Overcome the Urge to DrinkThe HALT tool (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) and other tactical ways to pause and reset when cravings strike. 💌 Resources & Links: 📣 Join the September 40 Day FastRegistration is open now for the next live-coached 40 Day Alcohol Fast starting September 8! Walk through the fast in real time with coaching, community, and the support you need to finish strong.👉 Sign up here 📖 Order your copy of Love Life Sober: A 40 Day Alcohol Fast to Rediscover Your Joy, Improve Your Health, and Renew Your Mind 🤝 Join our community: https://butjesusdrankwine.com/community 📲 Connect on Instagram: @butjesusdrankwine You can find this episode on YouTube HERE. The creators, hosts, and producers of the But Jesus Drank Wine podcast are not healthcare practitioners and therefore do not give medical, psychological or professional advice nor do they intend for the podcast, any communication on behalf of BJDW or otherwise to be a substitute for such. Additionally, the views and opinions expressed in any mention of and/or linked resources are those of the authors/owners of those resources and do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of the But Jesus Drank Wine podcast team or guests of the show. Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Sign up for the September 40 Day Fast here: https://butjesusdrankwine.myflodesk.com/septemberfast In this powerful opening to our six-part Monday series, we’re diving into Love Life Sober: A 40 Day Alcohol Fast to Rediscover Your Joy, Improve Your Health, and Renew Your Mind—starting with Days 1 through 7. Whether you’re reading along, curious about taking a break, or preparing to join the September live-coached fast, this episode lays the foundation for a Spirit-led, grace-filled approach to changing your relationship with alcohol. We explore how to shift from striving to surrender, why curiosity matters more than willpower, and how to begin reframing your beliefs about alcohol through the lens of faith, neuroscience, and identity in Christ. You’ll hear why you don’t need to hit rock bottom to make a change, how to set feeling-based goals that align with your values, and what it looks like to move from white-knuckling to walking in freedom with God. This is the mindset shift that changes everything—and it all starts here. 📘 This week covers: 🌿 Day 1: Starting with GraceWhy you don’t have to get it all right on Day 1—and how grace changes everything. 👭 Day 2: You're Not AloneYou’re not the only Christian woman who struggles with this. And you don’t have to walk this alone. ⛰️ Day 3: Rock Bottom Not RequiredYou don’t have to lose it all to make a change. Sobriety can be a proactive and empowered choice. 🧠 Day 4: Renewing Your MindWhy this fast is about so much more than quitting alcohol—it’s about transformation from the inside out. 🧬 Day 5: Cracking the CodeHow brain chemistry, habits, and identity all intersect—and what it means for your alcohol story. ⚔️ Day 6: The Battle in Our BrainsUnderstanding the real spiritual and neurological tug-of-war—and how to win with God. 🔍 Day 7: Find Your WhyHow to anchor your fast in God’s purpose for your life—and keep going when it gets tough. 💌 Resources & Links: 📣 Join the September 40 Day FastRegistration is open now for the next live-coached 40 Day Alcohol Fast starting September 8! Walk through the fast in real time with coaching, community, and the support you need to finish strong.👉 Sign up here 🎙️Past episodes mentioned: Episode 30: You Don’t Have to Count Days Episode 45: You Don’t Have to Say Forever 📖 Order your copy of Love Life Sober: A 40 Day Alcohol Fast to Rediscover Your Joy, Improve Your Health, and Renew Your Mind 🤝 Join our community: https://butjesusdrankwine.com/community 📲 Connect on Instagram: @butjesusdrankwine 🎥 We’re on YouTube too—come hang out! The creators, hosts, and producers of the But Jesus Drank Wine podcast are not healthcare practitioners and therefore do not give medical, psychological or professional advice nor do they intend for the podcast, any communication on behalf of BJDW or otherwise to be a substitute for such. Additionally, the views and opinions expressed in any mention of and/or linked resources are those of the authors/owners of those resources and do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of the But Jesus Drank Wine podcast team or guests of the show. Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.