Childless Not By Choice: The Hidden Grief Alcohol Couldn’t Heal | Maureen Benkovich
Childless not by choice carries a grief many women silently numb with alcohol. In this episode of Love Life Sober, Maureen Benkovich shares how infertility, miscarriage, and a failed adoption fueled years of binge drinking—and how surrendering to God led to lasting freedom.
Christy sits down with Maureen Benkovich, Alcohol Freedom Coach, author, speaker, and host of the Sober Fit Life podcast, for a powerful conversation about infertility grief, childlessness not by choice, and the hidden pain only God could heal.
A former fitness professional who outwardly embodied discipline and success, Maureen shares how miscarriage, infertility, and a failed adoption quietly shaped her identity and fueled years of binge drinking, depression, and the exhausting detox-to-retox cycle. She opens up about the “untangible” grief of not becoming a mother, the party-girl persona she used to survive, and the moment she stopped asking God for moderation and instead surrendered completely.
This episode is for the woman who feels stuck, unseen, and tired of numbing her sorrow with wine. There is a way out—and it begins with laying it down.
If You’ve Ever Thought…
• “Why would God let this happen to me?”
• “I don’t know who I am if I’m not a mom.”
• “Alcohol is the only thing that helps me get through the sadness.”
This episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode
• How infertility grief and a failed adoption quietly escalated Maureen’s drinking over time
• Why alcohol can trap you in rumination, depression, and emotional stuckness
• The detox-to-retox cycle and how it keeps you feeling “fine”… until you’re not
• What it looks like to rebuild identity when motherhood doesn’t happen
• Why moderation wasn’t the answer—and what finally changed everything
• How faith, community, and renewing your mind create new pathways forward
• Practical encouragement for women who are childless not by choice and feeling alone
Links & Resources
Maureen’s website:
soberfitchick.com
🌟 Join the Love Life Sober Community
https://lovelifesober.co.uk/community
🌿 Join the Lent 40-Day Alcohol Fast
https://lovelifesober.co.uk/the-fast
📖 Order Love Life Sober: A 40 Day Alcohol Fast to Rediscover Your Joy, Improve Your Health, and Renew Your Mind
https://lovelifesober.co.uk/book
Learn more about the Tyndale Life Recovery Bible:
https://hubs.la/Q041HjWm0
Connect on Instagram: @lovelifesoberwithchristy
Subscribe on YouTube — Come hang with us!
Disclaimer
The creators, hosts, and producers of the Love Life Sober podcast are not healthcare practitioners and do not provide medical, psychological, or professional advice. Content is not intended to substitute professional care. Views expressed by guests do not necessarily reflect those of the Love Life Sober team. Content Note: This episode includes discussion of suicide. Listener discretion is advised.
Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.
Christy found her true calling when she gave up alcohol and discovered a passion for helping women do the same. She has since coached hundreds of women across the US and UK as a highly trained senior sobriety coach, blending neuroscience, faith, and practical tools to help clients break free from alcohol and live with purpose.
She is the author of the best-selling Love Life Sober: A 40-Day Alcohol Fast to Rediscover Your Joy, Improve Your Health, and Renew Your Mind, and the host of the Love Life Sober podcast. Christy lives in Sussex, England, with her husband, their two teenagers, Ella and Carter, and their cavapoo, Copper.
You can discover more from Christy at
