Wrestling with What God Allows—Is It OK to Question Him? (w/ Dr. Erin Barry & Susan Frost) - Ep. 196

Have you ever felt like you had to “just accept” whatever life throws your way—even while your heart was breaking inside? Maybe someone told you it’s unfaithful to question God, or maybe you’ve wondered if it’s even allowed to be honest about your hurt and confusion. Here’s the truth: almost every believer will face moments when trusting God feels like a wrestling match.

This week on CHRISTIAN PARENT/CRAZY WORLD, we’re tackling the question no one wants to say out loud, but secretly we all wrestle with:

Is it wrong to wrestle with God—or is it where the deepest faith is forged?

In a culture that prizes tidy answers and smooth faith, Christian parents are invited into the messier reality: honest struggle with God may be the most faithful response to life’s hardest moments.

For this conversation, host Catherine welcomes her two closest friends—licensed Christian counselor Dr. Erin Barry and certified trauma coach Susan Frost—for a raw, unscripted conversation about wrestling with God through pain, disappointment, and unanswered prayers. Drawing from years of theological dialog, personal loss, and journeys through suffering, they invite listeners to pull up a chair and experience what true biblical wrestling looks like in real life.

Meet the Guests

• Dr. Erin Barry is a licensed clinical Christian counselor with decades of experience walking with individuals and families through seasons of pain, loss, and transformation. Together with her husband, she has devoted her life to ministry in marriage, worship, and family discipleship.

• Susan Frost is a certified trauma-informed life coach, deeply involved in hands-on ministry and mentoring with her husband. She’s helped individuals and couples process grief, trauma, and confusing seasons through godly wisdom—and is a trusted friend in the trenches.

Highlights from This Episode

• The Permission to Wrestle:

  • Catherine opens up about the tension many Christians feel—faith says “trust God’s sovereignty,” but scripture shows us heroes who bring anguish, confusion, and raw complaints to God (00:41).

  • Biblical foundation: Jacob literally wrestles with God and is changed forever, marked both by his limp and by a deeper relationship (16:46, 18:12).

• Pain Is Not a Faith Failure:

  • Erin unpacks how genuine suffering alters us—those who have wrestled with God often walk with humility, vulnerability, and new spiritual authority (18:12).

  • Susan challenges the myth that “God’s going to do what He wants, no matter what.” Instead, God invites us into hard questions, purposeful struggle, and partnership in pursuit of His blessings (21:11).

• What Real Support Looks Like:

  • The trio addresses how to choose safe “inner circle” people—and why it’s vital to avoid those who try to fix, minimize, or judge faith in the midst of pain.

  • Erin notes different people offer distinct support—some handle logistics, others shoulder emotional weight. Both matter (32:30).

  • Why most of us want to “tidy up” suffering, even for others—and why letting friends sit in the pain is a profound act of love (36:33).

• When the Small Things Break Us:

  • Catherine shares a vulnerable story: after seasons spent praying for healing and witnessing loss, it was a friend’s lost cats—the seemingly “small” tragedy—that finally broke her down (41:24).

  • The group examines why sometimes, it’s the little heartbreaks that trigger our deepest questions about God’s goodness and presence with our children (44:50).

• Wrestling vs. Losing Hope:

  • Erin distinguishes healthy wrestling (honest emotion, always turning back to God) from true despair (turning away, hardening the heart, or numbness through addiction) (59:00).

  • Susan gives voice to the ongoing question every Christian parent faces: “Is God really good to my kids?”—and why we become “prisoners of hope” (01:03:28).

A Standout Quote

“I don’t think that makes you a bad believer. I think that makes you an honest believer. The goal isn’t to wrestle away from God. It’s to wrestle our way toward Him.” — Catherine (05:43)

Key Takeaway

Wrestling with God is not a sign of weak faith but of honest, living faith. The biblical story—and the journeys of today’s faithful—show that lamenting, questioning, and even being angry with God can actually draw us closer to Him, giving us a deeper walk, lasting humility, and eventual hope. Sitting with our questions and pain—especially in the company of safe, truth-speaking friends—can transform our suffering into spiritual growth and resilience for our children to witness.

Why This Matters

In a world that wants quick answers and “perfect” Christianity, our kids (and we ourselves) need permission to bring our real struggles to God. Modeling honest faith—especially through disappointment—teaches the next generation that God is big enough for all our questions, aches, and doubts. Wrestling is not failure; it’s formation.

For Christian parents: When your children hit confusing pain or watch you walk through it, what do they see? Can you show them a faith that survives real wrestling—and ultimately emerges with deeper hope?

Episode Links

• inseparableLives.com – More about Dr. Erin Barry and her ministry.

• Yes, You Can Homeschool! The Terrified Parent’s Companion To Homeschool Success – Buy on Amazon

• Catherine’s Free Parenting Resources

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