How to Hold on to Hope and Move Forward When Your Adult Child Walks Away S5 E3

What happens when the child you raised, prayed for, and loved suddenly wants nothing to do with you?

For many parents, estrangement from an adult child is a grief that is difficult to explain. The child is still alive, but the relationship you once knew may be gone. You may find yourself replaying the past, wondering what you did wrong, crying, praying, and desperately trying to figure out how to make things right.

On this episode of Hope for the Journey, Monica Schmelter sits down with her friend Terry Squires for an honest conversation about one of the most painful experiences a parent can face: a broken or distant relationship with an adult child.

Terry knows this pain personally. She shares how devastated she was when her own sons chose to distance themselves from her. As a mom who had worked hard to raise her children in the faith, she never imagined that her family story would include estrangement.

But in the middle of her heartbreak, Terry learned an important lesson: some things cannot be fixed by us—they have to be placed in God's hands.

Terry talks openly about the season when she was consumed by grief, crying and asking herself what she had done wrong. Then, in a moment of prayer, she sensed God telling her to stop crying, surrender the situation, and move forward.

That became a turning point.

In this powerful conversation, Monica and Terry talk about:

• The unique grief that comes when an adult child becomes estranged

• Why we can become stuck replaying the past and asking, "What did I do wrong?"

• The danger of trying to fix, control, or manipulate a relationship

• Why adult children have to be allowed to make their own choices

• The importance of establishing healthy boundaries

• Knowing the difference between a healthy conversation and one that continually attacks and tears you down

• Protecting your heart while still leaving the door open for reconciliation

• Trusting God when you don't know how the story will end

• Why reconciliation sometimes happens suddenly and sometimes takes time

• How to keep moving forward instead of allowing grief to consume your life

• Finding peace in the promises of God's Word

Terry also shares Scriptures that have encouraged her during this difficult journey, including Isaiah 43, which reminds us that God is doing a new thing, and Philippians, which points us toward leaving the past behind and moving forward.

Perhaps the most important reminder in this conversation is this:

You don't have to fix what only God can fix.

You can love your adult child. You can pray. You can apologize for your part. You can establish healthy boundaries. You can leave the door open for reconciliation.

And then—you can trust God.

Your story may not look like the story you imagined when your children were little. But that doesn't mean God is finished writing it.

Sometimes hope looks like reconciliation.

Sometimes hope looks like surrender.

And sometimes hope is simply waking up another morning and choosing to believe that God is still at work—even when you can't see what He's doing.

Scriptures Mentioned

Isaiah 43 — God is doing a new thing.

Philippians — Don't remain stuck looking backward; keep moving forward.

A Question to Consider

Is there something—or someone—you have been trying desperately to fix that God may be asking you to place back into His hands?

Prayer

Lord, help me release the things I cannot control. Give me wisdom to know when to speak, when to set a boundary, and when to be still. Protect my heart from bitterness and despair and help me trust You with the people I love most. When I cannot see what You are doing, remind me that You are still working. Help me move forward in faith, knowing that You are faithful and that my story is not over. Amen

Your story isn't over. Let God write the next chapter.

Resources

Guest: Terry Squires

Terry Squires

monicaschmelter.com

Online Extras & Resources

Promises and Prayers for Your Family

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