How AI Is Impacting Your Relationships (And You May Not Even Be Realizing It) - Episode 50
AI has become part of everyday life for most of us. We use it to answer questions, solve problems, brainstorm ideas—and sometimes even help us navigate our relationships. But could all that interaction with AI be changing us in ways we don’t realize?
In this episode, Shaunti and Jeff take a fascinating look at what can happen when we get used to an AI that is always affirming, always available, and always ready with an answer. Could that make us a little less patient when our spouse pushes back? Could it make us more likely to avoid hard conversations? Could it even change what we expect when we go to God for answers?
They also talk about why the normal “friction” of real relationships is actually important, how to keep our relationship muscles from getting weak, and a few practical ways we can use AI wisely—while still choosing the patience, humility, honesty, and genuine affirmation that our real relationships need.
AI isn’t going away—and it can be an incredibly useful tool. But as it becomes a bigger part of our everyday lives, we need to be intentional about making sure it helps us without quietly changing what we expect from the people we love—or from God.
Resources
Why I Told My Chatbot to Stop Kissing Up to Me: AI responses are often too agreeable, too enthusiastic and too dramatic. And it’s partially our fault.
By Nicole Nguyen, Aug. 16, 2026
How to Make ChatGPT Challenge You More
- Open ChatGPT and click your profile icon.
- Go to Personalization.
- Under Base style and tone, choose Candid. This makes ChatGPT more direct and more likely to point out gaps, risks, and trade-offs.
- Still under Personalization, open Custom Instructions and make sure customization is turned on.
- Add an instruction like: “Don’t automatically agree with me or affirm my assumptions. Act as a thoughtful critical-thinking partner. If you think I’m overlooking something, tell me. Challenge weak reasoning, point out alternative explanations, and ask clarifying or probing questions when they would help me think more carefully. Prioritize accuracy and honesty over making me feel validated.”
- Save your changes. These preferences will then influence your conversations with ChatGPT, including existing chats.
Note: You can also adjust Characteristics under Personalization to fine-tune things like warmth and enthusiasm, although the Custom Instruction is the more important piece for getting ChatGPT to actually push back on your thinking.
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Both with graduate degrees from Harvard, Shaunti and Jeff are the authors and co-authors of many groundbreaking books, such as For Women Only, For Men Only, The Kindness Challenge, and When Hurting People Come to Church.
For more from Jeff and Shaunti, visit www.shaunti.com.
