Rebuilding Us: Marriage Podcast

How to Get Anything You Want from Your Spouse Are you tired of bargaining, manipulating, or arguing to get your needs met in your relationship? Are you frustrated that you can't seem to communicate the importance of what you want in your marriage? In today's episode, I'm sharing eight tips to get anything you want from your spouse (or partner, friend, co-worker, whomever . . . the skills are the same).  You will learn how to state what you want clearly and concisely, how to make your partner think your idea was actually his/hers all along, how to make wishes instead of offering criticism, and so much more! There's no need to be frustrated in your marriage any longer.  Now, keep in mind, all of these tips can and should be done WITHOUT manipulation. Be sure to listen to the full episode and start improving your ask with your next conversation.    Links Mentioned in this Episode Episode 49: 5 Boundaries Every Marriage Needs   And be sure to get in on our 9 Day Lovemaking Challenge! International Lovemaking Day is on June 9th. We’re kicked off the challenge on June 1st and have just a few more days left. Get all the deets at http://r.intimately.us/danache.    SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

7 Ways Men Destroy their Marriage This one's for my fellas. Guys, your wives have been trying to tell you that you're destroying your marriage in one of these seven ways. Truthfully, it's most likely that your marriage might be falling apart in many more ways than just these seven, but we're talking about the big ones here. If you're humble and open enough to receive this wisdom, it will change how you show up in your marriage.  Just to tease you, I'll give you the first three ways men are destroying their marriage: 1. You're not listening to your wife.  2. You're downplaying your wife's emotions.  3. You're working too much.  You'll have to listen to the full episode to hear the remaining four ways, and I hope you do, because I want to help couples just like you to get unstuck and start loving and living life again.  Oh, and here's some episodes you'll definitely want to listen to as a complement to this one:  Links Mentioned in this Episode Episode 28: Need an Intimacy Fix? There's an App for That! with Dan Purcell (All About Sex Series)  Episode 70: Can Porn Improve Your Sex Life - with Sathiya Sam (Shameless Sex Series) Episode 78: The Truth About Erectile Dysfunction & Masturbation - with Shawn Bonneted (Shameless Sex Series)   And be sure to get in on our 9 Day Lovemaking Challenge! International Lovemaking Day is on June 9th. We're kicking off the challenge on June 1st. Get all the deets at realrelationshiptalk.com/9DayChallenge.   SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

7 Ways Women Destroy their Marriages    Ladies, do you know that you can single-handedly destroy your marriage with a few bad choices? That’s a lot of power. The good news is that the opposite is also true. You can also build (create, construct, set up, raise) the marriage of your dreams . . . but in order to do so, you must have wisdom.  Proverbs 14:1 says, A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands. Sadly, there are many women destroying their marriages, and some don’t even know it.  On today’s episode, I’m sharing seven ways women destroy their marriages. Save your eye roll, because next week we’ll discuss seven ways men destroy their marriages. Are you ready for the list? 7 Ways Women Destroy their Marriages 1. UNDERMINING YOUR HUSBAND’S INTELLECT OR ABILITIES 2. CONSTANTLY CHALLENGING YOUR HUSBAND, ESPECIALLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS 3. CORRECTING YOUR HUSBAND IN FRONT OF THE KIDS 4. SHARING YOUR HUSBAND’S ISSUES WITH YOUR FRIENDS You’ll have to listen to the rest of the episode to get the remaining three.    The good news is if you’re still married, you haven’t destroyed your marriage beyond repair. But don’t wait until divorce papers are being filed to reach out for help if you need to. As a marriage coach, I help couples who are struggling all the time. It’s never too early or too late to get help.  Can you think of other ways women destroy their marriages? I’d love to hear from you. Send me a message, and I’ll feature your response on my Instagram page.   Be sure to tune in next week to hear about the 7 ways men destroy their marriages!   SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.  Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Stop Avoiding Conflict: Do this Instead(Communication 101 Series) Do you avoid conflict at all cost? Maybe you think conflict is a bad thing in relationships or that "good relationships" don't have conflict. Actually, the absence of conflict in a relationship doesn't mean it's healthy; it just means it's likely shallow. If you spend enough time with a person, conflict will inevitably happen.  On today's episode, I'm giving you five tips to stop avoiding conflict and what to do instead. It all starts with reframing the purpose of conflict. Have you ever wondered how can conflict actually serve your relationship? What can learn from it? How can it help you to grow? You'll need to also be willing to shed some faulty definitions about conflict and peacemakers. If your goal is to just keep the peace, you will ignore problems, ignore your feelings, and ignore opportunities to actually connect deeper in your relationships.  Affirmations to Stop Avoiding Conflict We end the episode with three powerful affirmations you can say every day.  1. I am worthy of being heard and respected.  2. It's okay to feel how I feel. My feelings matter.  3. Approaching this conflict is making me better.    Be sure to listen to the entire episode and if you're not also subscribed to the podcast, do that too!    Are we friends on Instagram? I've been posting fun (and funny), marriage/relationship-related reels at http://instagram.com/mrsdanache. Let's meet up over there!  Links Mentioned During this Episode: Episode 88: Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse  Episode 90: How Men and Women Communicate Differently    SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.  Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

What I'm Not Saying: The Keys to Nonverbal Communication (Communication 101 Series) We all know actions speak louder than words, and this is true, too, for nonverbal communication. It's not what we say, but how we say it. Research shows that only 7% of all communication is verbal, while the other 93% has to do with our tone, volume, inflections, gestures, etc.  Sadly, most people don't prioritize the 93% of communication. Words do matter, of course, but what's behind the words matters more. In today's episode I share some practical tips to help you focus on your nonverbal communication and what these specific gestures communicate.  It'll be interesting to hear how a simple change in intentionality concerning your nonverbal cues will improve your relationship.  Links Mentioned in this Episode Ep. 89: 7 Tips to Become a Better Listener (Communication 101 Series)   SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

How Men and Women Communicate Differently (Communication 101 Series) - with Shaun Williams Men are from Mars; women are from Venus, they said. How we communicate can differ as men and women. However, I want to help you take your communication skills out of this world! I couldn't resist. Back by popular demand, we have special guest, Shaun Williams, my hubby of nearly 23 years, on the episode today. He is in rare form, and I think we spent a solid quarter of this episode in hysterics. His shenanigans were on full display. Hopefully, you'll still find tons of value of out today's show.  Is it really true that men and women communicate differently? Well, of course, some of these factors are generalizations, but the truth is, we are different. Men actually use different parts of their brain to communicate than women do. The science behind our differences is quite astounding. Add to that society's "norms," and you have yourself a recipe for a communication catastrophe. But it doesn't have to be this way.  I'm Different than You If we could understand and acknowledge that we are different than our spouses/partners and that one way of communicating isn't better or worse than the other, we'd be so much better. Truthfully, opposites do attract, and we are better together. Different isn't bad; it's just different. Part of the joy of marriage is learning to appreciate, respect, and honor those differences.  And the Winner Is . . .  As promised, I announce the winner of our Podcast Review Contest on today's episode! THANK YOU to all who submitted a review. Reviews help others to find Real Relationship Talk and grow in their marriages and relationships. So, please, keep sharing, and keep the reviews coming in!   Other Resources Mentioned on this Episode:  7 Tips to Become a Better Listener    SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.  Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

7 Tips to Become a Better Listener (Communication 101 Series)    Do you listen to understand or to respond? Here’s the hard truth: most of us are not good listeners even though we think we are. In today’s episode, you’ll learn seven tips on becoming a better listener and the art of wholehearted communication. I’m super passionate about this topic, because I see communication gone wild all.of.the.time. The good news is with a few tweaks, anyone can become a better listener and have more mutually beneficial conversations with those they care about.  Psychology and Science Say You Don’t Listen Well  Did you know that there are psychological and scientific reasons why we don’t listen well? First, our brains process what people are saying almost four times faster than the rate they’re saying it. This is why we finish each other’s sentences (and cut each other off). Listening is, indeed, an art. Secondly, our brains can’t handle too much information, so it begins to weed out what it deems unimportant or unneeded (like your spouse’s request for you to clean the gutters or pay off that credit card). But let’s not blame science. Let’s learn from it.  Become a Better Listener in 7 Ways I truly believe most of us have good intentions when it comes to listening. We just don’t complete the mission. In the podcast episode, I share seven practical tips to listening better, including listen with your eyes, listen without pre-conceived judgments, listen for the main point, listen to what’s actually being said (and what’s not being said) and more. If you follow these principles, you will notice a significant improvement in your relationships and marriage. Be sure to listen to all seven tips on the podcast.    And remember, you have one more week to enter the podcast review contest! The winner will be announced LIVE on the May 3rd episode! To enter:    1. Listen to an episode 2. Write a review on Apple Podcasts  3. Email me to let me know you’ve submitted a review.    Find great listening exercises and more on hearing vs listening here.    SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.  Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in Relationships (Communication 101 Series)    Did you know there are four major communication problems that will wreck any relationship (also known as the four horsemen of the apocalypse)? These communication blunders are often practiced unbeknownst to the person. Thankfully, marriage researcher Dr. John Gottman has discovered what these four communication problems are and solutions to help us learn how to communicate better.    On today’s episode we’re talking about these four horsemen: criticism, contempt, defensiveness,, and stonewalling. You might refer to the four horsemen as different names, but after listening to the episode, you’ll likely arrive at the same solution: they can’t remain in a healthy relationship. To help you destroy these four horsemen, I am sharing some antidotes or solutions that will allow you to practice better communication in your relationships.    This is one episode you’ll want to chew on a little bit. Don’t just listen and keep to business as usual. Which of these four horsemen do you identify with? How can you change your heart and your behavior in order to practice more effective ways of communicating? What’s really at the core of why you’re communicating this way? These are all heartfelt questions that I hope you’ll work through.    After you hear today’s episode, you’ll walk away with some practical tools to communicate better. I guarantee it. Share this episode with your spouse or loved one and see if you agree on what horseman (or multiple horsemen) have hijacked your relationship.    Remember, we are launching our Podcast Review Contest today! You can win a $50 Amazon gift certificate when you do the following:    Listen to an episode Write a review on Apple Podcasts  Email me to let me know you’ve submitted a review   The winner will be announced on the May 3rd episode!   Thanks in advance for your awesome review!   Resources and Links Mentioned During this Episode: John Gottman’s Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse  Real Relationship Talk Episode 86: It’s Not You; It’s Me (I Statements)  Real Relationship Talk Episode 87: The Silent Treatment vs Silence   SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

The Silent Treatment vs Silence (Communication 101 Series)     If you’re like me, you can give a good silent treatment. The problem, though, is that the silent treatment is a terrible method of communication. Whether you "go ghost" due to fear, being unheard, frustration, or manipulation, intentionally icing out your partner can cause major disconnection in your relationship. At best, it stalemates the conversation. At worst, it communicates that you do not care about your partner or his/her needs. But there is a better way.     Alternatives to the Silent Treatment In today’s episode, we talk about six alternatives to the silent treatment when attempting conflict resolution. Spoiler alert: one of these ways is to do a walk and talk. I love a good walk and talk. It lowers the temperature of the conversation in several ways. For starters, it allows you to have challenging conversations without staring into each other's eyes or intentionally diverting eye contact. When you're walking, you're usually looking straight ahead for the most part. We also discuss whether the silent treatment can ever be beneficial. Also, is there a difference between silence and the silent treatment? If so, what is it?    I believe that silence can benefit your relationship and help with communication if you follow a few “rules.” For starters, you need to decide how long you’ll be silent. Also, what’s the purpose for your silence? Have you communicated this to your partner?    Be sure to listen to the full episodes to hear the remaining alternatives to the silent treatment. I hope you’ll practice these in your marriage or relationship as you continue to grow in your communication.   ALSO LISTEN TO EPISODE 86: IT'S NOT YOU; IT'S ME (I STATEMENTS)     SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.  Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

It's Not You, It's Me (Communication 101 Series) Have you ever been in a conversation with someone who constantly tells you all the things you're doing wrong instead of how they're actually feeling? No bueno, right? Most people have never learned the tools of good communication, so they do things like make accusations, abdicate responsibility for their feelings and/or choices, and incorrectly assign motive to their partner's behaviors. But, oh friends, there is much better way. Learning how to use "I statements" is not only effectively but gives your partner an inside look at the real you: what you're thinking and feeling.    "I Statements" Formula In today's episode, I am going to coach you on how to use a very simple four-part formula to communicate your feelings and needs. You will learn how to better use your words for more effective conversations. "I statements" have made such a difference in how I communicate not only with Shaun but with everyone! It's so freeing to not have to be the judge of every one's choices and motives. You should try it!    If you're already using "I statements," I'd love for you to share some of your powerful statements with us! Let us know in our Facebook group or email me !   SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.    Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.