Why We Crave Comfort When Life Feels Overwhelming

Episode Summary:

Have you ever found yourself standing in front of the refrigerator even though you're not hungry? Or scrolling social media long after you intended to put your phone down?

Maybe you've filled your online shopping cart after a stressful day. Maybe you've stayed busy from sunrise to sunset because slowing down would force you to feel what you've been trying to avoid.

Most of us think those moments are about lack of discipline. But what if they're actually revealing something much deeper? What if your brain isn't craving food, social media, shopping, busyness, or distraction at all? What if what you're really craving is comfort?

Today in honor of World Mental Health Day, Rev Jessica Van Roekel and I talk about why we seek comfort when life feels overwhelming, what happens inside the brain during seasons of stress, and how God offers something far more healing than temporary relief.

Quotables from the episode:

• The problem isn't that we need comfort. The problem is that we often look for comfort in places that were never designed to heal us. Those things may soothe us temporarily, but they can't restore us permanently.
• God never asks us to deny our humanity. He invites us to bring our humanity to Him.
• When we're overwhelmed, the brain becomes less concerned with what's best long term and more concerned with what feels better immediately
• The brain isn't trying to sabotage you. It's trying to help you feel better. The problem is that temporary relief can masquerade as genuine healing.
• Healthy comfort helps us process life. Unhealthy comfort helps us avoid life.
• When we numb our emotions, we may temporarily reduce discomfort, but we also delay healing. Emotions that are buried don't disappear. They often resurface later in different forms such as anxiety, irritability, resentment, exhaustion, or depression.
• Martha was seeking relief through activity. Mary was seeking comfort through presence.
• Every time we pause, become aware, and choose restoration over escape, we're strengthening new pathways in the brain.
• Distraction helps us forget our pain for a little while. God's comfort helps us carry it.
• Healing isn't merely the absence of unhealthy coping. Healing is the presence of healthy living.

Scripture References:

• Psalm 34:18 tells us: "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

Recommended Resources:

• Reframing Rejection: How Looking Through a Different Lens Changes Everything By Jessica Van Roekel
• Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson
• The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson
• Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson
• Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson
• Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide
• Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win
• Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson
• Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson
• Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue

Social Media Links for Host and Guest:

Connect with Rev. Jessica Van Roekel:

Website / Instagram / Facebook

Connect with Dr. Bengtson:

Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple

Co-Host:

Jessica Van Roekel is a worship leader, speaker, and writer who believes that through Jesus, personal histories don’t need to define the present or determine the future. She inspires, encourages, and equips others to look at life through the lenses of hope, trust, and God’s transforming grace. Jessica lives in rural Iowa surrounded by wide open spaces which remind her of God’s expansive love. She loves fun earrings, good coffee, and connecting with others.

Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson

Audio Technical Support: Ashton Bengtson

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