Rebuilding Us: Marriage Podcast

For Richer For Poorer (Marriage Vows Series)   As we continue our marriage vows series, it’s time we talk about money in marriage. Specifically, how we can create a financial plan that will increase communication and decrease conflict. Today, my friend, Dr. Michelle Lappin, a certified wealth coach with Dave Ramsey, is our guest on the podcast. She gives very practical advice on how to have conversations about money, how to start saving, and when you should invest in more riskier avenues like the stock market.   Did you know that financial problems account for an overwhelming majority of divorces? The need for honest and open communication about money is urgent. Michelle’s goal is to help people to create a healthier mindset when it comes to finances. My goal is to help couples build healthier relationships. Together, we are going to help you overcome your money challenges. Typically, couples repeat whatever patterns they observed in their families of origin. This can lead to major problems in their marriages if both spouses aren’t on the same page. Join the conversation and take away some practical tips that will help you to overcome financial challenges and truly create wealth in your marriage.   Links Mentioned in this Episode Learn More About Dr. Michelle Lappin’s Financial & Wealth Programs   Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community!       SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.    Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

How to Have an Honoring Marriage (Marriage Vows Series)   As a marriage coach, I notice how many marriages are devoid of an essential ingredient: honor. Most of these couples are experiencing conflict in their relationship, but few realize the conflict often stems from a lack of honor. In today’s episode, we are going to discuss what it means to have an honoring marriage. I share several practical ways of how to have an honoring marriage that we all can do.   But first, we discuss what is honor anyway?   In its most simplistic terms, honor can be defined as thinking highly of and showing high regard for someone or something. It’s recognizing the importance or someone or something. When we show honor to our spouse, we value them, their perspective, their opinions, etc.   Practical Ways to Show Honor One of my favorite Scriptures on showing honor is Philippians 2:3-4: Be free from pride-filled opinions, for they will only harm your cherished unity. Don’t allow self-promotion to hide in your hearts, but in authentic humility put others first and view others as more important than yourselves. 4 Abandon every display of selfishness. Possess a greater concern for what matters to others instead of your own interests.   Honor, you see, is esteeming others above ourselves. It’s quite simple (not always easy) to do this in marriage. Here are some tips I shared on the show:   Encourage your spouse. Call them up higher. Respect your spouse’s opinion(s), especially when you disagree. Speak well of your spouse in private and in public. Prioritize what’s important to your spouse.   Be sure to listen the full episode below and let me know how you’d add to this list.     Links Mentioned in this Episode Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community! More ways to show honor in your marriage     SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.          Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

For Better For Worse (Marriage Vows Series)   One of the most powerful phrases in the wedding vows is “for better for worse,” and yet, people don’t always take this covenant seriously. Maybe you’re on the brink of divorce and need an encouraging word today. This episode will not shame you or put you on a guilt trip. It’s intended to bring you hope (and yes, it is a bit challenging, but you can handle it). I want you to go back to before you said “forever.” What did for better or for worse look like to you?   The late Doug Larsen famously said, “More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.” It’s so true. Don’t count yourself or your spouse out just yet. It’s always darkest before the dawn.   I do, however, believe there are times when divorce is inevitable or at least understandable. I call these reasons the “3 A’s.” I also blogged about this back in 2019.   Also Read: When to Divorce   When is Divorce Okay?   Abuse Affair(s) Abandonment   Because I go into great detail on the podcast and in the article above, I won’t go into detail here, but there is a biblical reason for my understanding. I’d love to hear your take.   No matter how dark your situation seems, I do believe that God is still in the resurrecting business. Maybe your marriage is about to experience “for better” even if you are facing “for worse.” Be encouraged!   Links Mentioned in this Episode Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community!     SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.    Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

To Have and to Hold (Marriage Vows)   One of the most misunderstood phrases in the marriage vows is “to have and to hold.” This statement is more powerful than many realize. So what does it mean exactly? Today’s episode explores one of the most important facets of a healthy marriage. To be honest, I didn’t really take this phrase seriously when I got married. Many couples don’t. The wedding vows, in general, can often be just another part of the ceremony that doesn’t get much attention. However, in making a lifelong commitment to someone, every word should be taken seriously. There should be a weightiness, if you will, to our words.   In a nutshell, to have and to hold is all about our sexual intimacy. Too many couples are struggling in this area unnecessarily. That’s why I’m giving you four easy-to-remember tips to jump start or restart your sex life.     4 Keys to Jump Start or Restart Your Sex Life   Be intentional Be interested Be inventive Be intimate   Be sure to listen to the full episode to hear additional tips on these four points and more!   Links Mentioned in this Episode Sign up for my Wife Life group coaching class Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community!     SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.      Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

The Financial & Legal Benefits of Marriage (Marriage Vows Series)   “Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?” On today’s episode, we’re talking about the financial and legal benefits of being married. Marriage is much more than a piece of paper. However, that little piece of paper is extremely valuable and comes with rewards, responsibilities and yes, even risks. We’ll talk about many of them and debunk some myths about common law marriage and states rights.    But first, a refresher. I’m including the traditional marriage vows for you to ponder below:   I, _______, take thee, _______, to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and OBEY, till death us do part, according to God’s holy law.   Being Married Comes with Benefits   If you’re married, you know that being married comes with many benefits, and let’s not overlook some of the more “non-romantic” benefits it includes like the financial and even legal benefits. On the show I include some well-known and even some lesser-known rewards of being married. And to keep it fair, I also discuss some of the risks involved with being married.   Take a listen to the full episode and let me know what other financial and legal benefits we can add to this list.     Links Mentioned in this Episode Sign up for my Wife Life group coaching class Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community!     SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.                Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

How Are Marriage Vows Sacred? (Marriage Vows Series)   “Dearly beloved, we are gathered together in the sight of God . . .  Today we’re diving into the weight of our marriage vows. Too often the wedding vows are treated as an afterthought for many couples. Some don’t even remember what they said on their special day. I want couples to go from reciting rote rituals to pronouncing passionate promises.   We’re launching a new season and a new series on the podcast today that will focus on each aspect of the marriage vows. I’ll be bringing some special guests along for our journey. I know you’re going to find incredible value from what they have to share. Traditional or Non-Traditional Wedding Vows To lay a foundation, I’m including the traditional marriage vows below:   I, _______, take thee, _______, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and OBEY, till death us do part, according to God’s holy law.   Now most 21st century women would rather choke on pudding than say the words “obey.” This is my story, and I’m sticking to it. Respect, yes. Obey? Nah. Still, many couples opt to write non-traditional vows or (gasp!) leave the vows out altogether. I share my thoughts on this in the episode, so be sure to listen to the full episode (it’s a short one!) and get excited as we break down each part of the marriage vows in the episodes to come.   Links Mentioned in this Episode Sign up for my Wife Life group coaching class Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community! History of Wedding Vows article     SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.              Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Why Should I Get Premarital Coaching? (Young & Married Series)   A few years ago, I ran into an old friend who was recently engaged and about to get married. I immediately asked her who was doing her premarital counseling, and she just gave me a blank stare. Then she slowly said, “We aren’t getting premarital counseling, because we don’t want to open up a can of worms.” To my surprise and utter bewilderment, I responded, “Honey, you can either open the can of worms in premarital coaching or the can of worms will burst open during your marriage.”   Too often, couples have rose-colored glasses on when it comes to marriage and, instead of diligently doing the work of marriage, they choose to spend all their energies on the wedding and the festivities that surround that one day. I think this is a huge mistake. We’d never buy a car without first doing our research and checking its history. Nor would we invest in a home or even daycare for that matter without finding out all we can about the home or organization. How much more diligent should we be about our marriage?   Reasons Couples Choose Not to do Premarital Counseling   Some couples think “love conquers all,” and that as long as they love each other, they’ll be fine. But all it takes is a brief look at the millions of couples who divorce each year who really loved (and often still love) each other. Love is wonderful. It’s necessary. But it’s not enough. Marriage takes commitment, time, trust, selflessness, and a lot more in order to work.   Other couples have this notion that their problems “won’t be that bad,” and that as long as they believe for the best, they can overcome any problem they’ll face. While I applaud the obvious optimism here, I must say that the best defense is a good offense. You don’t learn to play the game of marriage once you’re married. You prepare for a great marriage before you get married.   Thirdly, some couples have bought into the notion of “you complete me.” That makes for a good movie line, but not so great for a life principle. Marriage isn’t about completing you. It’s about discipling you, to be honest. We’ve heard it said that “most people don’t plan to fail; they fail to plan.” True that.   What to Expect in Premarital Coaching   A good premarital coach is one who can see the big picture and help couples attack the warning signs in their relationship. In premarital counseling (coaching), couples will be asked probing questions, discuss their families of origin, talk about emotional triggers, and current problems the relationship is having.   Premarital coaching prepares couples to attack (not ignore) their issues. Pastors can provide a wealth of wisdom when it comes to the spiritual ramifications of marriage. However, not all pastors are good counselors. Marriage coaches, on the other hand, are specifically trained in all matters of healthy relationships. But not all marriage coaches will help you to understand the spiritual implications of the marriage covenant. Both are needed, and if you have a pastor and marriage coach, all the better!   This is one episode you need to share with anyone you know who is engaged to be married or about to become engaged.   Links Mentioned in this Episode Sign up for my Wife Life group coaching class   Episode 55: How to Get Out of An Argument       SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.    Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

How to Get Over an Argument Quickly (Young & Married Series)   If you’ve been married longer than 20 minutes, you’ve likely had an argument or two. The key to resolving conflict isn’t avoiding it but approaching it with a new perspective. In today’s episode, I’m giving you five takeaways for conflict resolution that will help you to get over your disagreements quicker.   Focus on the Issue at Hand So often, we get off on tangents, and instead of resolving the original conflict, we actually create more conflict because we haven’t learned how to focus on the issue at hand.   Ask, don’t accuse You can win more arguments by asking rather than accusing. Give your spouse the benefit of the doubt. Don’t jump to conclusions, and by all means, don’t make rash accusations. I give a big coaching tip in this part of the podcast about making the “right” statements.   Have a resolution in mind What’s your end goal? How will engaging in this conversation (or disagreement) help to better your relationship? Is this a conversation that needs to happen or can you jot down your frustrations in a journal? Seriously, what’s the point of the conversation?   Don’t let the conflict linger If you feel things getting out of hand and you need to take a break, take a break, but come back! Don’t allow the conflict to linger on and on with no real resolution. I also talk about forgiveness here and how forgiveness plays out without you saying a word.   Don’t hit below the belt. I wish I didn’t have to explain this one, but oftentimes, in arguments, couples tend to say hurtful things that they can never get back. Be careful of your words, because contrary to popular thought, “Words do wound.”   You’ve got to listen to the full episode to get the full gist of today’s conversation. This might be one episode you want to bookmark to come back to later, and if your spouse is willing, listen to this episode with him/her! Remember that conflict does not destroy relationships; unresolved conflict does. So make a decision today to get over your arguments quickly to avoid conflict ruining your marriage.   Quotes mentioned in this episode: “Conflict cannot survive without your participation.  - Wayne Dyer   Links Mentioned in this Episode Sign up for my Wife Life group coaching class Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community! BONUS LINK: Setting Realistic Expectations in Your Marriage with Jenard Moore     SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.            Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Ep. 54 - It’s Our Anniversary! Let's Celebrate   Marriages and relationships have been restored, new friendships have been made, and lives have been changed across 33 countries and more! I can hardly believe a year has gone by already! Our marriage podcast is growing and going thanks to you! Come along on today’s episode as we do a fantabulous year-in-review! Listen as I share some of the highlights of the past year, including favorite episodes, most talked about guests, and what’s in store for Real Relationship Talk as we enter into year two.   This special edition episode had me gleaming and beaming. Can I just say we have not missed one week of the podcast! Glory to God. Every single week we have brought you amazing guests, relevant relationship topics, and questions from our listeners. It has been such an honor to host this show. I am already working on some new things to continue to bring you my best.   Some of our highest talked about episodes include:   Episode 13 – The Power of Forgiveness in Relationships   Episode 2 – Overcoming Infidelity in Marriage – with Dr. Cyrus Williams   Episode 3 – Rebuilding Trust, Rebuilding Us – with Shaun Williams   Episode 26 – Making Love Outside the Bedroom – with Shaun Williams   I feel like we’ve only just begun! THANK YOU to those who have reviewed us on Apple Podcasts! Your recommendations go a long way! Please consider writing a review to help us reach more people with this message of hope.     Links Mentioned in this Episode Sign up for my Wife Life group coaching class Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community! Get my e-book The 5 Relationships that are Wrecking Your Life for FREE     SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.   Finally, please leave a rating and a comment on Apple Podcasts to let me know how this podcast is helping you and your relationships. I’m always open to guest suggestions and how I can make the show even better!  Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Is This All There Is? (Young and Married Series)   I don’t know about you, but I used to look at my marriage and wonder, “Is this all there is?” Is this the best it’s going to get? Disappointment can quickly settle in even to a new marriage and rob you of the love, joy, and wonder you felt on your wedding day. Newlyweds and long-term married couples, alike, often find themselves asking these same questions. The truth is you are the one who gets to determine the answer to that question.   In today’s episode, I share 7 relationship tips for you to begin to ask different questions about your marriage. Here are the tips:   Marriage Advice for Dealing with Disappointment   Ask yourself why are you disappointed? Go beyond your feelings. Understand that in marriage, seasons come and seasons go. Let go of what was to make room for what is. Get real with yourself. Remember that it’s about growth over perfection. Be the person you’d love to live with.   I want to encourage you to take an active stance in the formation of your marriage. Far too many spouses are passive about their own progress. You’re in the driver seat. You get to have the marriage that you work for. So, what’s it going to be?   For more on disappointment, check out Episode 40: Dealing with Disappointments in Relationships.   Links Mentioned in this Episode Get on the list for the upcoming Wife Life group coaching class Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community!     SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.   Finally, please leave a rating and a comment on Apple Podcasts to let me know how this podcast is helping you and your relationships. I’m always open to guest suggestions and how I can make the show even better!  Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.