108 Dysfunctional Mother Daughter Relationships: Hope for Breaking the Cycle

Episode Summary:

Today we talk about hope for breaking the cycle of dysfunctional mother daughter relationships. My guest, Phylis Mantelli, experienced mother wounds and went on to break the cycle of mother daughter dysfunction with her own children. She always says, “We are not a perfect family, but a bonded family.” She’s here today to share hope and the lessons she learned with us.

Quotables from the episode:

• Trauma feels normal and tries to convince you that you don’t deserve better.
• In order to change, you have to believe in something bigger than you.
• We have to take our parents off a pedestal and look at them as normal people with real hurts, faults, and strengths.
• Just because our loved ones are broken doesn’t mean we have to stay broken.
• Look at the things that are not working for you anymore. Write down in a journal the things you would want to start changing in your life. Take one thing, pray and ask what you can start doing today to start making those baby steps.
• There is always a hope and a promise for better days. However, it is up to us to take ACTION on it! Praying specifically each day is important, asking God to show you is important, but actually moving in the direction He leads you on is key.
• Forgiveness in unhealthy families is possible when you have a God who shows you the way.
• It is possible to change things you have grown up learning or seeing in destructive ways.

Scripture References:

• Proverbs 3:5-6 HCSB “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding; think about Him in all your ways, and He will guide you on the right paths.”
• Jeremiah 29:13 HCSB “You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.”
• Isaiah 41:10 HCSB “Do not fear, for I am with you, do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will hold on to you with My righteous right hand.”

Recommended Resources:

• Unmothered: Life With a Mom Who Couldn’t Love Me by Phylis Mantelli
• “The Five Tips for Setting Boundaries” Free Download
• Free Download: How To Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win
• Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson
• Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free 7-Day YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip
• Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award
• Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award

Social Media Links for Host:

Connect with Phylis Mantelli:

Facebook / Website / Instagram / Pinterest / LinkedIn / Podcast FB Page

For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at:

Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails  /  Website  /  Blog  /  Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson)  /  LinkedIn  /  Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast

About Phylis Mantelli:

Phylis Mantelli is a speaker, blogger, coach and co-host of the Podcast “24 Carat Conversations” with Phylis and Rhonda. She is the author of the book Unmothered: Life With a Mom Who Couldn’t Love Me. She has been married for 31 years and has two grown daughters. She is the grandmother of one adorable grandson and has a granddaughter on the way. She loves to read, walk in her garden and occasionally will break out in dance while cooking in the kitchen!

Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson

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