Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast

Finding Hope in a Blue Christmas: How to Care for Hurting Hearts During the Holidays

December 04, 2025
00:00 33:50
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Episode Summary:

Christmas is often described as the most wonderful time of the year, but for many, it doesn’t feel that way. Whether because of grief, loneliness, financial strain, or painful memories, the holidays can intensify sadness instead of joy. Today on Your Hope-Filled Perspective, Jessica Van Roekel and I want to talk about what we call a ‘Blue Christmas.’ Together, we’ll explore why it’s important to give ourselves and others permission to grieve during the holiday season, how God meets us in our pain, and ways to navigate December with compassion and hope.

Quotables from the episode:

  • For some, Christmas brings laughter, lights, and loved ones. But for others, it’s a season that magnifies loss, heartache, or isolation. If you or someone you know is struggling this Christmas, you’re not alone. On today’s episode of Your Hope-Filled Perspective, Jessica Van Roekel and I will share how to give space for what we call a ‘Blue Christmas’—a time when we acknowledge that the holidays can be hard, while also discovering God’s gentle presence and the hope He offers, even in the midst of sorrow.
  • I wanted to acknowledge that while Christmas is often referred to the most joyous time of year, it isn’t for everyone, and it’s important for us to acknowledge our thoughts and feelings, but simultaneously continue to put our hope in God.
  • Often, Christmas is portrayed as magical, joyous, and full of peace. But for many, that’s simply not the reality. Grief, depression, loneliness, or broken family relationships can make Christmas feel heavy.
  • And pretending everything is fine when it’s not only deepens the ache. God invites us to bring Him our honest emotions. Think about the Psalms—David poured out his sorrows, and yet found hope in God’s presence.
  • Let’s name some reasons people might struggle at Christmas:
    • Grief from losing a loved one.
    • Family estrangement or broken relationships.
    • Loneliness, especially for singles, widows, or those far from family.
    • Financial hardship that makes gift-giving stressful.
    • Mental health battles like depression or anxiety.
    • Unmet expectations.
  • Christmas can amplify those pains. Lights and carols may remind us of what we don’t have. But Jesus came into a world of darkness. Isaiah 9:2 says, “The people walking in darkness have seen a great light.” His presence is especially near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18).
  • Sometimes we pressure ourselves to “put on a happy face.” But it’s okay to grieve at Christmas. Lament is part of worship.
  • Jesus Himself wept (John 11:35). If the Son of God cried at loss, then tears are holy too. Giving yourself permission to be real is not a lack of faith.
  • We can also set boundaries. Maybe we can’t attend every party. Maybe we create new traditions that feel gentler for our souls this year.
  • Sometimes the best gift is presence, not presents. Just sitting with someone, listening, or sending a simple “thinking of you” note can mean the world.
  • And don’t say, “You should be happy, it’s Christmas.” Instead, validate their feelings. Romans 12:15 says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”
  • Another practical tip—invite them into your traditions in small ways, without pressure. Even a quiet cup of cocoa together can bring comfort.
  • At the heart of Christmas is Emmanuel—God with us. That truth doesn’t change, whether our Christmas is merry or blue.
  • We can both acknowledge sorrow and cling to hope.
  • One way is through Scripture meditation. Even reading Luke 2 slowly and remembering that Christ entered a broken, chaotic world can remind us we’re not alone.
  • Some practical things that help:
    • Create a memory box or light a candle in honor of a loved one.
    • Simplify expectations. You don’t have to do all the traditions.
    • Prioritize rest and self-care.
    • Spend time with safe people who encourage your heart.
    • And when emotions overwhelm, breathe a prayer like: “Lord, hold me in this moment.” God doesn’t require eloquence—He wants our honesty.
  • Friend, if you’re facing a Blue Christmas, know this: You are not broken because you feel sorrow. God sees you, loves you, and promises to draw near.
  • He is “Immanuel—God with us.” That’s the real miracle of Christmas. Whether your Christmas is filled with joy or tears, His presence is your anchor.

Scripture References:

  • Psalm 42:11 “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Put your hope in God…”
  • Matthew 1:23 “They will call Him Immanuel, which means ‘God with us.’”
  • Ecclesiastes 3:4 “a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance”
  • Isaiah 9:2 “The people walking in darkness have seen a great light.”
  • Psalm 34:18 His presence is especially near to the brokenhearted.
  • Romans 12:15 “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”

Recommended Resources:

Social Media Links for Host and Guest:

Connect with Jessica Van Roekel:

Website / Instagram / Facebook

For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at:

Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple

Co-Host:

Jessica Van Roekel is a worship leader, speaker, and writer who believes that through Jesus, personal histories don’t need to define the present or determine the future. She inspires, encourages, and equips others to look at life through the lenses of hope, trust, and God’s transforming grace. Jessica lives in rural Iowa surrounded by wide open spaces which remind her of God’s expansive love. She loves fun earrings, good coffee, and connecting with others.

Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson

Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

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Meet Your Host
Dr. Michelle Bengtson is a hope concierge! She is a board-certified clinical neuropsychologist, international speaker, and award-winning author dedicated to offering hope, healing, and practical tools for mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. As the host of the top-rated podcast Your Hope-Filled Perspective, she combines her professional expertise with biblical truth to empower listeners to overcome anxiety, depression, and life’s challenges through faith.

A trusted voice in Christian mental health, Dr. Bengtson is the bestselling author of Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor's Personal Journey through Depression and Breaking Anxiety's Grip. With over 30 years of clinical experience, she has helped countless individuals find lasting freedom from fear, stress, and discouragement.

Dr. Bengtson is a frequent media guest on platforms such as Focus on the Family, Life Today, and Moody Radio. Her writing and resources have been featured on outlets including Crosswalk, iBelieve, and Salem Media, equipping believers to embrace God's promises in every season.

Connect with Dr. Bengtson at DrMichelleBengtson.com, where she shares faith-based encouragement, expert insights, and free resources for cultivating a hope-filled life.
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