Grace is Not Permissiveness: Raising Spiritually Strong Kids with Dr. Charles Fay

Bringing up spiritually strong kids in today's world can seem like a daunting challenge.

Dr. Charles Fay, a psychologist and president of the Love and Logic Institute, joins Arlene to discuss his book Raising Spiritually Strong Kids. He explains Ephesians 2:8-10, the difference between grace and permissiveness, and how rescuing kids from every problem interrupts the trust cycle. He describes the Love and Logic approach of setting limits with few words and letting empathy and consequences teach, along with a five-step process for helping older kids with problems. He also covers parenting without shame, staying connected with kids, and what to do when spouses disagree about discipline.

1:15 – A toddler meltdown in a restaurant and a neighbor’s advice: “be loving and strong”

5:18 – Ephesians 2:8-10: saved by grace, saved to do good works

10:12 – A candy lesson: letting kids make affordable mistakes

18:18 – The “parenting prosperity gospel” and why doing everything right doesn’t guarantee results

20:00 – The trust cycle, why rescuing kids stunts it, and the five steps for helping with big problems

25:01 – Love and Logic in a nutshell: set limits with few words, let empathy and consequences teach

26:50 – How modern psychology has encouraged idolizing children

29:12 – Parenting without shame and building connection at home

32:25 – When spouses disagree on discipline

Learn more about Love and Logic, and Dr. Charles Fay's book, Raising Spiritually Strong Kids

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