Rebuilding Us: Marriage Podcast

Stop Avoiding Conflict: Do this Instead(Communication 101 Series) Do you avoid conflict at all cost? Maybe you think conflict is a bad thing in relationships or that "good relationships" don't have conflict. Actually, the absence of conflict in a relationship doesn't mean it's healthy; it just means it's likely shallow. If you spend enough time with a person, conflict will inevitably happen.  On today's episode, I'm giving you five tips to stop avoiding conflict and what to do instead. It all starts with reframing the purpose of conflict. Have you ever wondered how can conflict actually serve your relationship? What can learn from it? How can it help you to grow? You'll need to also be willing to shed some faulty definitions about conflict and peacemakers. If your goal is to just keep the peace, you will ignore problems, ignore your feelings, and ignore opportunities to actually connect deeper in your relationships.  Affirmations to Stop Avoiding Conflict We end the episode with three powerful affirmations you can say every day.  1. I am worthy of being heard and respected.  2. It's okay to feel how I feel. My feelings matter.  3. Approaching this conflict is making me better.    Be sure to listen to the entire episode and if you're not also subscribed to the podcast, do that too!    Are we friends on Instagram? I've been posting fun (and funny), marriage/relationship-related reels at http://instagram.com/mrsdanache. Let's meet up over there!  Links Mentioned During this Episode: Episode 88: Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse  Episode 90: How Men and Women Communicate Differently    SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.  Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

What I'm Not Saying: The Keys to Nonverbal Communication (Communication 101 Series) We all know actions speak louder than words, and this is true, too, for nonverbal communication. It's not what we say, but how we say it. Research shows that only 7% of all communication is verbal, while the other 93% has to do with our tone, volume, inflections, gestures, etc.  Sadly, most people don't prioritize the 93% of communication. Words do matter, of course, but what's behind the words matters more. In today's episode I share some practical tips to help you focus on your nonverbal communication and what these specific gestures communicate.  It'll be interesting to hear how a simple change in intentionality concerning your nonverbal cues will improve your relationship.  Links Mentioned in this Episode Ep. 89: 7 Tips to Become a Better Listener (Communication 101 Series)   SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

How Men and Women Communicate Differently (Communication 101 Series) - with Shaun Williams Men are from Mars; women are from Venus, they said. How we communicate can differ as men and women. However, I want to help you take your communication skills out of this world! I couldn't resist. Back by popular demand, we have special guest, Shaun Williams, my hubby of nearly 23 years, on the episode today. He is in rare form, and I think we spent a solid quarter of this episode in hysterics. His shenanigans were on full display. Hopefully, you'll still find tons of value of out today's show.  Is it really true that men and women communicate differently? Well, of course, some of these factors are generalizations, but the truth is, we are different. Men actually use different parts of their brain to communicate than women do. The science behind our differences is quite astounding. Add to that society's "norms," and you have yourself a recipe for a communication catastrophe. But it doesn't have to be this way.  I'm Different than You If we could understand and acknowledge that we are different than our spouses/partners and that one way of communicating isn't better or worse than the other, we'd be so much better. Truthfully, opposites do attract, and we are better together. Different isn't bad; it's just different. Part of the joy of marriage is learning to appreciate, respect, and honor those differences.  And the Winner Is . . .  As promised, I announce the winner of our Podcast Review Contest on today's episode! THANK YOU to all who submitted a review. Reviews help others to find Real Relationship Talk and grow in their marriages and relationships. So, please, keep sharing, and keep the reviews coming in!   Other Resources Mentioned on this Episode:  7 Tips to Become a Better Listener    SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.  Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

7 Tips to Become a Better Listener (Communication 101 Series)    Do you listen to understand or to respond? Here’s the hard truth: most of us are not good listeners even though we think we are. In today’s episode, you’ll learn seven tips on becoming a better listener and the art of wholehearted communication. I’m super passionate about this topic, because I see communication gone wild all.of.the.time. The good news is with a few tweaks, anyone can become a better listener and have more mutually beneficial conversations with those they care about.  Psychology and Science Say You Don’t Listen Well  Did you know that there are psychological and scientific reasons why we don’t listen well? First, our brains process what people are saying almost four times faster than the rate they’re saying it. This is why we finish each other’s sentences (and cut each other off). Listening is, indeed, an art. Secondly, our brains can’t handle too much information, so it begins to weed out what it deems unimportant or unneeded (like your spouse’s request for you to clean the gutters or pay off that credit card). But let’s not blame science. Let’s learn from it.  Become a Better Listener in 7 Ways I truly believe most of us have good intentions when it comes to listening. We just don’t complete the mission. In the podcast episode, I share seven practical tips to listening better, including listen with your eyes, listen without pre-conceived judgments, listen for the main point, listen to what’s actually being said (and what’s not being said) and more. If you follow these principles, you will notice a significant improvement in your relationships and marriage. Be sure to listen to all seven tips on the podcast.    And remember, you have one more week to enter the podcast review contest! The winner will be announced LIVE on the May 3rd episode! To enter:    1. Listen to an episode 2. Write a review on Apple Podcasts  3. Email me to let me know you’ve submitted a review.    Find great listening exercises and more on hearing vs listening here.    SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.  Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in Relationships (Communication 101 Series)    Did you know there are four major communication problems that will wreck any relationship (also known as the four horsemen of the apocalypse)? These communication blunders are often practiced unbeknownst to the person. Thankfully, marriage researcher Dr. John Gottman has discovered what these four communication problems are and solutions to help us learn how to communicate better.    On today’s episode we’re talking about these four horsemen: criticism, contempt, defensiveness,, and stonewalling. You might refer to the four horsemen as different names, but after listening to the episode, you’ll likely arrive at the same solution: they can’t remain in a healthy relationship. To help you destroy these four horsemen, I am sharing some antidotes or solutions that will allow you to practice better communication in your relationships.    This is one episode you’ll want to chew on a little bit. Don’t just listen and keep to business as usual. Which of these four horsemen do you identify with? How can you change your heart and your behavior in order to practice more effective ways of communicating? What’s really at the core of why you’re communicating this way? These are all heartfelt questions that I hope you’ll work through.    After you hear today’s episode, you’ll walk away with some practical tools to communicate better. I guarantee it. Share this episode with your spouse or loved one and see if you agree on what horseman (or multiple horsemen) have hijacked your relationship.    Remember, we are launching our Podcast Review Contest today! You can win a $50 Amazon gift certificate when you do the following:    Listen to an episode Write a review on Apple Podcasts  Email me to let me know you’ve submitted a review   The winner will be announced on the May 3rd episode!   Thanks in advance for your awesome review!   Resources and Links Mentioned During this Episode: John Gottman’s Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse  Real Relationship Talk Episode 86: It’s Not You; It’s Me (I Statements)  Real Relationship Talk Episode 87: The Silent Treatment vs Silence   SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

The Silent Treatment vs Silence (Communication 101 Series)     If you’re like me, you can give a good silent treatment. The problem, though, is that the silent treatment is a terrible method of communication. Whether you "go ghost" due to fear, being unheard, frustration, or manipulation, intentionally icing out your partner can cause major disconnection in your relationship. At best, it stalemates the conversation. At worst, it communicates that you do not care about your partner or his/her needs. But there is a better way.     Alternatives to the Silent Treatment In today’s episode, we talk about six alternatives to the silent treatment when attempting conflict resolution. Spoiler alert: one of these ways is to do a walk and talk. I love a good walk and talk. It lowers the temperature of the conversation in several ways. For starters, it allows you to have challenging conversations without staring into each other's eyes or intentionally diverting eye contact. When you're walking, you're usually looking straight ahead for the most part. We also discuss whether the silent treatment can ever be beneficial. Also, is there a difference between silence and the silent treatment? If so, what is it?    I believe that silence can benefit your relationship and help with communication if you follow a few “rules.” For starters, you need to decide how long you’ll be silent. Also, what’s the purpose for your silence? Have you communicated this to your partner?    Be sure to listen to the full episodes to hear the remaining alternatives to the silent treatment. I hope you’ll practice these in your marriage or relationship as you continue to grow in your communication.   ALSO LISTEN TO EPISODE 86: IT'S NOT YOU; IT'S ME (I STATEMENTS)     SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.  Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

It's Not You, It's Me (Communication 101 Series) Have you ever been in a conversation with someone who constantly tells you all the things you're doing wrong instead of how they're actually feeling? No bueno, right? Most people have never learned the tools of good communication, so they do things like make accusations, abdicate responsibility for their feelings and/or choices, and incorrectly assign motive to their partner's behaviors. But, oh friends, there is much better way. Learning how to use "I statements" is not only effectively but gives your partner an inside look at the real you: what you're thinking and feeling.    "I Statements" Formula In today's episode, I am going to coach you on how to use a very simple four-part formula to communicate your feelings and needs. You will learn how to better use your words for more effective conversations. "I statements" have made such a difference in how I communicate not only with Shaun but with everyone! It's so freeing to not have to be the judge of every one's choices and motives. You should try it!    If you're already using "I statements," I'd love for you to share some of your powerful statements with us! Let us know in our Facebook group or email me !   SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.    Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

The Best Defense for Offense: Plus that Will Smith Slap! (Communication 101 Series) Do you find yourself getting offended easily or often? Today, I'm sharing six steps to help you avoid offense, plus we have to talk about the Will Smith/Chris Rock slap heard around the world! Here's the deal: Jesus, himself, said, "Offenses will surely come..." (Luke 17:1). BUT, we don't have to take offense. We can truly learn how to live unoffendable. Imagine not only saying "no offense," but actually living this way.  The Will Smith / Chris Rock Slap But first, that Will Smith slap! If you watched the Oscars (which, let's be honest, most of us didn't!), we heard about Will Smith slapping comedian Chris Rock clear across the face. I share my thoughts on that situation in this episode. But more importantly, I share how this situation helps us to ask one very important question of ourselves when we are offended.  Living Unoffendable  I'd love to spell out all six ways to help you avoid offenses but I really want you to listen to the full episode, so I'll give you two. You'll have to listen to the full episode to get the other four:  Don't assume the worst; believe the best  Stop looking for offenses  Do you have other tips to help avoid offenses? We'd love for you to share them in our Facebook group.    SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Preparing for Difficult Conversations (Communication 101 Series)   Do you struggle with starting difficult conversations in your relationships? It’s easy to get overwhelmed when you need to communicate a problem or an issue. But did you know that there are actually action items or steps you can take before the conversation that can help steer you in the right direction and make your conversations more successful?   In today’s episode, I am sharing four ways to prep for difficult conversations. Be sure to listen to the full episode to get the “sauce” on these four tips.    Tip 1 - What’s your purpose? Tip 2 - Timing matters  Tip 3 - Have a singular goal  Tip 4 - Pray   This prep work is intentional but it doesn’t have to be intensive or time-consuming. Once you begin to build this new rhythm into your communication, you will notice a major difference in the outcome of these conversations. Sadly, many people don’t think (or prepare) before they speak. They just spew, but that doesn’t have to be you!    You can decide to be a better communicator and a better partner by simply applying these four tips on the front end of your conflict conversations.    Need more coaching tips? Schedule a free discovery coaching call with me today at http://danache.com/coaching.   ALSO READ: 20 TIPS FOR CRITICAL CONVERSATIONS     SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

A Marriage Restored After Divorce, Drugs, & Deconstruction - with “Out of the Dust’s” Chris & Steph Teague    Not many marriages recover from the depths of drugs, deconstruction, and divorce, but that’s exactly what happened to our guests, Chris & Steph Teague, from Out of the Dust music. Not only did the Teague’s experience the loss of their marriage but also a loss of Chris’s faith. These former high school sweethearts never imagined a reconciliation was possible, but then, the miraculous happened.    Come hear about how God turned Chris and Steph’s lives completely around as they share openly and vulnerably about the darkest time in their lives. This episode is sure to bring hope to hopeless marriages and situations.    And as a special bonus, we’ve interwoven snippets of their newest album, The After, into the podcast. If you think their story is beautiful, just wait until you hear their music!    If God did it before, he can do it again.    It was an absolute honor interviewing these two.   Learn more about Chris & Steph and hear Out of the Dust’s music at http://outofthedustmusic.com.   SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.