Rebuilding Us: Marriage Podcast

Forget Compatibility! Great Relationships Require Intentionality - with Dr. Joli Hamilton - Part 2 Everyone wants to find someone they’re compatible with, but what if we’re looking at this the wrong way?  Dr. Joli Hamilton is our guest for part two of this conversation. Do opposites really attract? Is it true that we create our compatibility? And if so, how does intentionality play a role? The truth is, we are different. And when you decide that being different is not only okay but preferred, you’ll unlock another dimension in your relationship.   You can’t force your partner to be the same as you. Love is about flourishing and growing and being who you were meant to be. Sadly, Dr. Hamilton reminds us, that often the things you wish you could project on your partner or spouse are the things you wish you could own about your own life. That is a deep revelation! What have you been disowning about yourself that you need to reclaim? Own it. Don’t ask your partner to take on these things.   High Functioning Couples Joli and I also discussed the roles in high functioning couples. Often, power struggles occur because of a lack of intentionality in conversations and structure. “Some people think relationships should be really easy or really hard, and these two people are usually married to each other,” says Dr. Hamilton. That’s going on Instagram today!   Have a Vision for Your Marriage/Relationship The Bible says, “Where there is no vision, the people cast off restraint” (Proverbs 29:18). Having a vision (or purpose statement, as Joli calls it), is vital to a healthy relationship. Without knowing where you’re headed, you’re bound to run around in circles, get frustrated, and ultimately “cast off restraint.” Another way to say this is that you’ll lose the fight for your relationship. You might stay together, but you’ll be distant at best. So, create a purpose or vision statement today.   At the end of the day, when you’re ready to up-level your relationship, all it takes is deciding. “Love is a learnable skillset,” Joli says. Stop groping around in the dark and decide to create compatibility by intentionality.   Be sure to listen to the full episode by clicking the episode link.     Links Mentioned in this Episode Get real with The Curiosity Date Get Joli’s book: Project Relationship: The Entrepreneurs Action Plan for Passionate, Sustainable Love Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community!       SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.      Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Growing Together While Staying True to You – with Dr. Joli Hamilton   Growing together in relationships is critical to its success. Today, we are joined by psychologist Dr. Joli Hamilton who shares the importance of unmasking (being the real you) while also striving to grow together in your relationship. Joli and I do not share the same beliefs when it comes to certain major aspects of relationships, yet I hope you can see this conversation as a model on how to find common ground on the things you do agree on while still remaining open to learn new methods of relating to others. It’s good stuff!   I started the interview by asking Joli, “Do you believe there’s a special person out here for someone?” Her answer will make you pause and think.   We also discussed why growth is an important concept for us to understand in relationships. We are meant to help one another grow together. Relationships tend to bring out our real selves, but sadly, instead of owning our part, many of us we blame our partner, when all they’re doing is holding a mirror up to what’s really going on inside of us. #thatpart   Some other nuggets from Joli: ‘Be more interested in each other’s growth than your own comfort.”   “Love is about knowing someone completely and being fully known.”   “Some couples practice not feeling their life.” (Whoo lord! That was deep!)   And then Joli talked about a concept called “Individuation.” I just like the sound of the word, but the concept is also an important one.   This episode was full of so much gold that I split it into part one and part two. I hope you’ll enjoy it as much as I did.       SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.    Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Until Death Do Us Part (Marriage Vows Series)   If I had to vote on the most important phrase of the marriage vows, it’d be “until death do us part.” In today’s episode, we are discussing the final phrase of the traditional marriage vows, capping off our 10-part series where we have dissected the wedding vows phrase by phrase. Marriage is sacred, yes. And it is meant to last forever. That word forever means f-o-r-e-v-e-r. It is not temporary. It is not until your “love” wears out. Marriage is a lifetime business.   Today, we’re discussing the meaning and weight behind these powerful five words. The words that literally mean life or death. In our throwaway culture, forever can seem like a suggestion. But to God, it was anything but. Take a listen to the full episode and be challenged to shore up your conviction on what forever is all about.   Links Mentioned in this Episode Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community!  Want Dana to Coach Your Marriage?     SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.      Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Forsaking All Others (Marriage Vows Series) – with Shaun Williams   Part of the wedding vows that can get a little sticky is the whole “forsaking all others” part. What does that mean? Can married people really not have friends? That’s not how I read it. I do, however, believe that once you’re married, all other people have to take a backseat to the marriage bond (oneness) you are trying to create. If there’s a friend (platonic or not) that is threatening your union, they’ve gotta go. Kids? Give ‘em the ax! Well, maybe not technically, but if you have kids, you know they will try to come in between your marriage. Don’t let them. Co-workers, best friends, parents, etc., all these relationships have to be re-evaluated. Now, while I don’t believe in isolating yourself as a married couple, I do believe in using wisdom and communication to know how best to “re-categorize” some folks in your life once you get married. Real and Raw Today’s episode was real and raw, and if I think about it long enough, a tad embarrassing, because Shaun and I had a little argument on the podcast. Yep, I kept it in there, so don’t judge us. This information will be used for training purposes. Anyway, I’d love to hear your take on what does it mean to “forsake all others” in your marriage? How have you done this well, and how have you messed up? If we can be real, so can you. This is a worthy conversation that many married couples are simply not having. Yet, they should. Communicate your needs, desires, and even fears about your spouse’s relationships with others outside your marriage. I want to make something clear: you should retain autonomy of yourself in whatever relationship you’re in. This isn’t some weird, cultish “lose yourself” teaching. You are a unique individual and will always be, but remember the purpose of marriage is oneness.   Okay, that’s all the teasers I’m going to give you. You have to listen to the full episode to get the rest of the goods.   Links Mentioned in this Episode Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community! Want Dana to Coach Your Marriage?     SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.    Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

In Sickness and In Health (Marriage Vows Series)- with Chris and Tamara Satterfield My cousins, the Satterfields, who are battling cancer and heart issues in their young marriage join us today as we discuss "in sickness and in health." As we continue in our marriage vows series, we'll discuss what happens when a spouse becomes very ill. Sadly, serious illness is a contributor to divorce in many marriages, believe it or not. When spouses should normally draw closer together in unity to overcome illness, not all couples find the strength or will to do this. By committing to love your spouse whether they're in good health or if they fall ill, you are vowing your unconditional love and support to him/her. Too often, couples breeze through their wedding vows without really giving thought to what they're committing to. Tamara and Chris Satterfield share very openly about their battle with cancer and heart health issues in their marriage. They talk about the highs and lows of marriage in this season and the importance of grace, empathy, and communication. Join the conversation!    Links Mentioned in this Episode Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community! More ways to show honor in your marriage     SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.  Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

[Sweet Repeat]: How Passivity & Apathy are Silently Killing Your Marriage This episode is a "sweet repeat" of Episode 11 of the Relationship Mistakes series where my husband, Shaun, and I discuss some of the silent killers of relationships. Apathy, or the "I don't care" mentality is wreaking havoc in marriages. If you or your spouse are passive, constantly disappointed, or are growing cold in your relationship, this episode is for you.    Click here for the show notes of the original podcast episode.Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

For Richer For Poorer (Marriage Vows Series)   As we continue our marriage vows series, it’s time we talk about money in marriage. Specifically, how we can create a financial plan that will increase communication and decrease conflict. Today, my friend, Dr. Michelle Lappin, a certified wealth coach with Dave Ramsey, is our guest on the podcast. She gives very practical advice on how to have conversations about money, how to start saving, and when you should invest in more riskier avenues like the stock market.   Did you know that financial problems account for an overwhelming majority of divorces? The need for honest and open communication about money is urgent. Michelle’s goal is to help people to create a healthier mindset when it comes to finances. My goal is to help couples build healthier relationships. Together, we are going to help you overcome your money challenges. Typically, couples repeat whatever patterns they observed in their families of origin. This can lead to major problems in their marriages if both spouses aren’t on the same page. Join the conversation and take away some practical tips that will help you to overcome financial challenges and truly create wealth in your marriage.   Links Mentioned in this Episode Learn More About Dr. Michelle Lappin’s Financial & Wealth Programs   Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community!       SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.    Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

How to Have an Honoring Marriage (Marriage Vows Series)   As a marriage coach, I notice how many marriages are devoid of an essential ingredient: honor. Most of these couples are experiencing conflict in their relationship, but few realize the conflict often stems from a lack of honor. In today’s episode, we are going to discuss what it means to have an honoring marriage. I share several practical ways of how to have an honoring marriage that we all can do.   But first, we discuss what is honor anyway?   In its most simplistic terms, honor can be defined as thinking highly of and showing high regard for someone or something. It’s recognizing the importance or someone or something. When we show honor to our spouse, we value them, their perspective, their opinions, etc.   Practical Ways to Show Honor One of my favorite Scriptures on showing honor is Philippians 2:3-4: Be free from pride-filled opinions, for they will only harm your cherished unity. Don’t allow self-promotion to hide in your hearts, but in authentic humility put others first and view others as more important than yourselves. 4 Abandon every display of selfishness. Possess a greater concern for what matters to others instead of your own interests.   Honor, you see, is esteeming others above ourselves. It’s quite simple (not always easy) to do this in marriage. Here are some tips I shared on the show:   Encourage your spouse. Call them up higher. Respect your spouse’s opinion(s), especially when you disagree. Speak well of your spouse in private and in public. Prioritize what’s important to your spouse.   Be sure to listen the full episode below and let me know how you’d add to this list.     Links Mentioned in this Episode Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community! More ways to show honor in your marriage     SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.          Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

For Better For Worse (Marriage Vows Series)   One of the most powerful phrases in the wedding vows is “for better for worse,” and yet, people don’t always take this covenant seriously. Maybe you’re on the brink of divorce and need an encouraging word today. This episode will not shame you or put you on a guilt trip. It’s intended to bring you hope (and yes, it is a bit challenging, but you can handle it). I want you to go back to before you said “forever.” What did for better or for worse look like to you?   The late Doug Larsen famously said, “More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.” It’s so true. Don’t count yourself or your spouse out just yet. It’s always darkest before the dawn.   I do, however, believe there are times when divorce is inevitable or at least understandable. I call these reasons the “3 A’s.” I also blogged about this back in 2019.   Also Read: When to Divorce   When is Divorce Okay?   Abuse Affair(s) Abandonment   Because I go into great detail on the podcast and in the article above, I won’t go into detail here, but there is a biblical reason for my understanding. I’d love to hear your take.   No matter how dark your situation seems, I do believe that God is still in the resurrecting business. Maybe your marriage is about to experience “for better” even if you are facing “for worse.” Be encouraged!   Links Mentioned in this Episode Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community!     SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.    Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

To Have and to Hold (Marriage Vows)   One of the most misunderstood phrases in the marriage vows is “to have and to hold.” This statement is more powerful than many realize. So what does it mean exactly? Today’s episode explores one of the most important facets of a healthy marriage. To be honest, I didn’t really take this phrase seriously when I got married. Many couples don’t. The wedding vows, in general, can often be just another part of the ceremony that doesn’t get much attention. However, in making a lifelong commitment to someone, every word should be taken seriously. There should be a weightiness, if you will, to our words.   In a nutshell, to have and to hold is all about our sexual intimacy. Too many couples are struggling in this area unnecessarily. That’s why I’m giving you four easy-to-remember tips to jump start or restart your sex life.     4 Keys to Jump Start or Restart Your Sex Life   Be intentional Be interested Be inventive Be intimate   Be sure to listen to the full episode to hear additional tips on these four points and more!   Links Mentioned in this Episode Sign up for my Wife Life group coaching class Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community!     SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.      Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.