Q & A: What If I'm the Only One Working on My Marriage?

May 02, 2025
00:00 09:06
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Have you ever felt like you are the only one putting in the work, or maybe you're putting in a significantly more amount of work than your spouse is? That can feel very unjust. It can feel unfair, and most of us get tired of doing that. We have a question that I think all of us can probably relate to at some point: What if I'm doing more work on my marriage than my spouse?

Key Takeaways:

  1. Change Your Step:
    Alter your approach in the relationship. When you change how you respond, your spouse will also have to adjust, breaking unhelpful cycles.

  2. Be Patient:
    Trust takes time to rebuild—don’t expect overnight results. Your consistency over time demonstrates commitment.

  3. Play the Long Game:
    Rebuilding a relationship is a marathon, not a sprint. Focus on progress, not perfection.

  4. Fix Your Focus:
    What you focus on grows. Shift your attention from what your spouse isn’t doing to the positive changes you’re making and what you want for your marriage.

Featured Resource:

Infidelity Intensive—a step-by-step online course designed to move couples from pain to restoration after betrayal. Learn more at danache.com/infidelityintensive.

Submit Your Questions:
Have a question for Dana? Reach out here or DM on Instagram @mrsdanache.


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Meet Your Host
Dana Che is the founder of Thrive Relationships, where she serves as a marriage and relationship coach and host of the Rebuilding Us marriage podcast. She also serves as a preaching pastor at her church. Whether in the church or on her podcast, Dana's mission is singular: to help people rebuild their relationships through the grace and guidance of the Lord.

On Rebuilding Us, she is known for her graceful candor, humor, and her encouraging yet challenging advice. Dana holds a B.A. in communication from Regent University. She has a fierce passion for fashion and a fiercer passion for truth. She shares her life with Shaun, her loving husband of over twenty-five years, their four amazing children, and their “multi-cultural” dog in beautiful Virginia Beach, VA.

Connect with Dana:
Instagram: @mrsdanache
Website: danache.com
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