Q & A: What If I'm the Only One Working on My Marriage?

May 02, 2025
00:00 09:06
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Have you ever felt like you are the only one putting in the work, or maybe you're putting in a significantly more amount of work than your spouse is? That can feel very unjust. It can feel unfair, and most of us get tired of doing that. We have a question that I think all of us can probably relate to at some point: What if I'm doing more work on my marriage than my spouse?

Key Takeaways:

  1. Change Your Step:
    Alter your approach in the relationship. When you change how you respond, your spouse will also have to adjust, breaking unhelpful cycles.

  2. Be Patient:
    Trust takes time to rebuild—don’t expect overnight results. Your consistency over time demonstrates commitment.

  3. Play the Long Game:
    Rebuilding a relationship is a marathon, not a sprint. Focus on progress, not perfection.

  4. Fix Your Focus:
    What you focus on grows. Shift your attention from what your spouse isn’t doing to the positive changes you’re making and what you want for your marriage.

Featured Resource:

Infidelity Intensive—a step-by-step online course designed to move couples from pain to restoration after betrayal. Learn more at danache.com/infidelityintensive.

Submit Your Questions:
Have a question for Dana? Reach out here or DM on Instagram @mrsdanache.


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Meet Your Host
Dana Che is a speaker, marriage coach, and the host of the Rebuilding US podcast, where she helps people uncomplicate relationships and build deeper connections. She also serves as a Teaching Pastor at a multi-site, multi-ethnic church in Virginia Beach, VA. Dana is known for her graceful candor, humor, and encouraging commitment to the truth.

Dana holds a B.A. in communication from Regent University and is a seminary student at Fuller Theological Seminary. She has a fierce passion for fashion and loves all things beachy. She shares her life with Shaun, her childhood sweetheart and husband of twenty-seven years and their four amazing children in beautiful Virginia Beach, VA.

Connect with Dana:
Instagram: @mrsdanache
Website: danache.com
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