3 Ways We've Learned to 'Leave and Cleave' in Marriage

November 11, 2025

00:00 20:09

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In this conversation, we talk about what it means to “leave and cleave” in marriage and how getting married calls you to realign your loyalties and priorities. We share three ways we’ve learned to live out this principle, and we hope it encourages you to keep choosing your spouse first.

WHAT YOU’LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE:

The biblical meaning behind the phrase “leave and cleave”
Why “leaving and cleaving” is harder in practice than in theory
How redefining “immediate family” strengthens your marriage
Three practical ways to prioritize your spouse over extended family
Why involving parents or siblings in marital conflict can create unnecessary strain

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Give your spouse priority over parents and siblings. Your marriage becomes your new “immediate family.” While it’s still important to love and honor your parents, your primary loyalty now belongs to your spouse.
Determine to make decisions together first. Going to your spouse before seeking outside input builds trust, unity, and interdependence. It shows that your spouse’s thoughts and feelings come first.
Decide not to involve extended family in marital conflict. Unless you’re dealing with abuse or serious issues, resolve everyday disagreements privately. Inviting family into routine conflict can damage relationships and make reconciliation harder.

US TIME CHALLENGE

Write down one specific area where you struggle to “leave and cleave.” Share it with your spouse and discuss whether they see it the same way. Then, together, brainstorm two or three practical ways you can improve in that area this week.

STAY CONNECTED BEYOND THE PODCAST

Stay connected with us beyond the show! Visit AshleighSlater.com for free marriage tools, updates on new podcast episodes, and to sign up for her weekly email newsletter.

TEAM US RESOURCES

Team Us: The Unifying Power of Grace, Commitment, and Cooperation in Marriage (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/)
FREE Team Us Study Guide (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/free-team-us-study-guide/)

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

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Meet Your Host

Ted and Ashleigh first met in Chesapeake, Virginia in 2001. In December 2002, they said, “I do, of course!” Since then, they’ve lived in five more states and celebrated the births of four daughters. Both have master’s degrees in Communication from Regent University, and over the years they’ve served as premarital mentors for engaged couples.

Ted’s a website developer, and Ashleigh is the author of the books Team Us: The Unifying Power of Grace, Commitment and Cooperation in Marriageand Braving Sorrow Together: The Transformative Power of Faith and Community When Life Is Hard.

Ashleigh has also written for publications including iBelieve.com, Focus on the Family Magazine, Boundless.org, and HuffPost.

Learn more at AshleighSlater.com.