Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast

Episode Summary: Christmas is often described as the most wonderful time of the year, but for many, it doesn’t feel that way. Whether because of grief, loneliness, financial strain, or painful memories, the holidays can intensify sadness instead of joy. Today on Your Hope-Filled Perspective, Jessica Van Roekel and I want to talk about what we call a ‘Blue Christmas.’ Together, we’ll explore why it’s important to give ourselves and others permission to grieve during the holiday season, how God meets us in our pain, and ways to navigate December with compassion and hope. Quotables from the episode: For some, Christmas brings laughter, lights, and loved ones. But for others, it’s a season that magnifies loss, heartache, or isolation. If you or someone you know is struggling this Christmas, you’re not alone. On today’s episode of Your Hope-Filled Perspective, Jessica Van Roekel and I will share how to give space for what we call a ‘Blue Christmas’—a time when we acknowledge that the holidays can be hard, while also discovering God’s gentle presence and the hope He offers, even in the midst of sorrow. I wanted to acknowledge that while Christmas is often referred to the most joyous time of year, it isn’t for everyone, and it’s important for us to acknowledge our thoughts and feelings, but simultaneously continue to put our hope in God. Often, Christmas is portrayed as magical, joyous, and full of peace. But for many, that’s simply not the reality. Grief, depression, loneliness, or broken family relationships can make Christmas feel heavy. And pretending everything is fine when it’s not only deepens the ache. God invites us to bring Him our honest emotions. Think about the Psalms—David poured out his sorrows, and yet found hope in God’s presence. Let’s name some reasons people might struggle at Christmas: Grief from losing a loved one. Family estrangement or broken relationships. Loneliness, especially for singles, widows, or those far from family. Financial hardship that makes gift-giving stressful. Mental health battles like depression or anxiety. Unmet expectations. Christmas can amplify those pains. Lights and carols may remind us of what we don’t have. But Jesus came into a world of darkness. Isaiah 9:2 says, “The people walking in darkness have seen a great light.” His presence is especially near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). Sometimes we pressure ourselves to “put on a happy face.” But it’s okay to grieve at Christmas. Lament is part of worship. Jesus Himself wept (John 11:35). If the Son of God cried at loss, then tears are holy too. Giving yourself permission to be real is not a lack of faith. We can also set boundaries. Maybe we can’t attend every party. Maybe we create new traditions that feel gentler for our souls this year. Sometimes the best gift is presence, not presents. Just sitting with someone, listening, or sending a simple “thinking of you” note can mean the world. And don’t say, “You should be happy, it’s Christmas.” Instead, validate their feelings. Romans 12:15 says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” Another practical tip—invite them into your traditions in small ways, without pressure. Even a quiet cup of cocoa together can bring comfort. At the heart of Christmas is Emmanuel—God with us. That truth doesn’t change, whether our Christmas is merry or blue. We can both acknowledge sorrow and cling to hope. One way is through Scripture meditation. Even reading Luke 2 slowly and remembering that Christ entered a broken, chaotic world can remind us we’re not alone. Some practical things that help: Create a memory box or light a candle in honor of a loved one. Simplify expectations. You don’t have to do all the traditions. Prioritize rest and self-care. Spend time with safe people who encourage your heart. And when emotions overwhelm, breathe a prayer like: “Lord, hold me in this moment.” God doesn’t require eloquence—He wants our honesty. Friend, if you’re facing a Blue Christmas, know this: You are not broken because you feel sorrow. God sees you, loves you, and promises to draw near. He is “Immanuel—God with us.” That’s the real miracle of Christmas. Whether your Christmas is filled with joy or tears, His presence is your anchor. Scripture References: Psalm 42:11 “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Put your hope in God…” Matthew 1:23 “They will call Him Immanuel, which means ‘God with us.’” Ecclesiastes 3:4 “a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance” Isaiah 9:2 “The people walking in darkness have seen a great light.” Psalm 34:18 His presence is especially near to the brokenhearted. Romans 12:15 “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” Recommended Resources: Reframing Rejection: How Looking Through a Different Lens Changes Everything By Jessica Van Roekel Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Jessica Van Roekel: Website / Instagram / Facebook For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple Co-Host: Jessica Van Roekel is a worship leader, speaker, and writer who believes that through Jesus, personal histories don’t need to define the present or determine the future. She inspires, encourages, and equips others to look at life through the lenses of hope, trust, and God’s transforming grace. Jessica lives in rural Iowa surrounded by wide open spaces which remind her of God’s expansive love. She loves fun earrings, good coffee, and connecting with others. Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: While Norman Rockwall paints pictures of the holiday season as times of cheerful family togetherness, many feel unseen, especially during the holidays. Maybe you’re walking through this season feeling like no one really sees you. Maybe you’re single and longing for companionship, grieving the loss of a loved one, or feeling disconnected even in a crowd. The holidays can be a stark reminder of what we feel is missing in our lives. We see others celebrating with their families, opening presents, and engaging in joyful traditions, while we may feel forgotten or left behind. But even when the world seems to overlook you, God never does. Join me as we into a topic that touches so many hearts, especially during the holiday season: Finding Hope and Purpose When You Feel Invisible. Quotables from the episode: Loneliness isn’t just about being physically alone. It’s about feeling unseen, unheard, or unimportant. And during the holidays, this feeling can be magnified. We see families gathering, couples exchanging gifts, and social media flooded with highlight reels of happy moments—but what if you feel left out of that joy? There are many reasons why people feel overlooked during the holidays. Some have lost loved ones and feel their absence more acutely this time of year. Others may be estranged from family or struggling with difficult relationships. Some are facing financial hardship, making it hard to participate in the celebrations around them. Still, others feel overlooked in the workplace, in friendships, or even in ministry, wondering if what they do truly matters. Friend, just like He saw Hagar, He sees you too. No situation is too small or too big to escape His loving gaze. Maybe you feel invisible in your workplace, like your efforts go unnoticed. Maybe you feel unseen in your own family, where your needs seem to take a backseat to everyone else’s. Or maybe you’ve been crying out to God for an answer, and it feels like the heavens are silent. I want to assure you that God is not distant. He is near, and He sees every part of your heart. The enemy wants us to believe we are forgotten, but that’s a lie. The truth? God has always had His eye on you. God sees every detail of your life. He sees your silent tears and hears the prayers you can’t even put into words. He knows the longing in your heart and the dreams you’ve tucked away. You are not invisible to Him. I have to wonder if perhaps Jesus felt the same way when He asked His closest disciples to stay awake with Him in the garden, and yet they slept. Yet in that place He poured out His heart to His Heavenly Father. Throughout Scripture, we see God’s attentive love. Jesus noticed the outcasts—the woman at the well, the lepers, the woman with the issue of blood, the blind man begging on the roadside. He saw the ones society ignored, and He still does today. When you feel unseen, remember this: Jesus stops for the one. He stops for you. Even Jesus experienced feeling forsaken when He cried out on the cross, “My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?”(Matthew 27:46). But God had not abandoned Him, just as He will never abandon you. Even in our darkest moments, God is working behind the scenes. He is near, even when we don’t feel it. Anchor Yourself in God’s Word – Fill your mind with Scriptures that remind you of God’s deep love for you. Shift Your Focus – When we focus on what we lack, we feel emptier. But when we focus on God’s presence and His promises, our hearts find peace. Start by playing uplifting praise and worship music, then consider starting a gratitude journal, writing down ways God has shown up in your life, comforted you, or helped you feel seen. Reach Out – Sometimes, we isolate ourselves when we feel unseen. I encourage you to take a step—send a text, call a friend, or join a community where you can encourage others too. Spend Time in His Presence – God is enough. Sit with Him. Talk to Him. Let Him fill the spaces where you feel unseen. One of the beautiful ways we can reflect God’s love is by helping others feel seen. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 reminds us that God comforts us so we can comfort others. When we encourage others, God blesses us as well. Notice the unnoticed – Look for those who may feel left out and extend kindness to them. Speak life – A simple encouragement can make someone’s day. Be present – Sometimes, the greatest gift is simply being there for someone. God sees us, and He invites us to see others the way He does. My friend, if you feel invisible today, remember this: You are fully known and fully loved by the God who created the universe. God is the God who sees you, and He loves you deeply. Hold onto hope. Scripture References: Genesis 16:13 Hagar called God, El Roi, “The God Who Sees Me.” Psalm 139:1-3 “You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.” Matthew 27:46 “My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?” Isaiah 49:16 says, “See, I have engraved you on the palms of My hands.” Zephaniah 3:17 tells us, “The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” Proverbs 11:25 “Those who refresh others will be refreshed.” Recommended Resources: Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue Social Media Links for Host: For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: If you have ever been in a place where you just feel like you've hit rock bottom, I’m glad you’re here. Last week we talked to Julie Seals who was born with Spina Bifida, had her leg amputated, lost her father, became addicted to drugs, lost custody of her son, and ended up in Federal Prison for trafficking illegal drugs. But God was not done with Julie! This episode is part 2 of Julie’s story, and I promise you will be encouraged that God can turn your biggest messes into something beautiful! Quotables from the episode: I was sitting in prison sitting on the metal bunk bed and crying and I forgot that the night before I crossed the border I had cried out to God and said, "I'm done. I need you, come into my life and change everything." And all I was looking at were my current circumstances. And in comes this group of women doing prison ministry. And one of them looked at me crying on my bunk and she marched over and sat down on my bunk. And she said, "Did you know that Jesus loves you very much. And I said, "Not me!" And I'm crying. And she kept insisting that no matter what I did, no matter what had happened, that Jesus Christ loved me and that if I would repent of my sin and turn towards him and ask him to be my Lord and Savior, he would make me a brand new person. I felt hope rise in my heart as this woman was speaking. And that evening, as all the other inmates were off eating dinner, I stayed behind at my prison bunk and I got down on my knees on that cold hard cement prison floor and I was weeping and I asked Jesus Christ to become my lord and my savior and forgive me or everything I had done wrong, and I felt freedom. I literally, I felt chains, invisible chains break off my chest and tears of repentance turned into tears of freedom and joy. I thought I was going to do life in prison when I got up from that prayer but all of a sudden, I had this realization that I was a free woman on the inside and I had joy real joy for the first time in my life. All of a sudden, I had the Holy Spirit living in me and the joy of the Lord and the Holy Spirit was now going to take me through the challenging journey of dealing with my past and realizing oops, I made a whole bunch of mistakes that got me here. So now we move forward in strength and in power and in victory with hope. I read the Word every day, and I spoke the Word out loud every day over my life and circumstances. And as I did, my faith in God’s Word became unshakeable. The One who rescued me from addiction and darkness saw my great grief. And He loved me so much that when I was cut off from society, living in a razor-wire-enclosed cage, He gave me what can only be described as a miraculous message. Other inmates began to notice that one-legged lady who passionately loved Jesus was working hard to keep her heart pure. Those inmates came to me and started asking me about this Jesus that I loved so much. They were noticing that I was a new person, and even in federal prison, facing a life sentence, I had crazy, ridiculous joy. I smiled constantly. I laughed often. The joy on the inside of me was so infectious that everyone around me wanted some of it. I was hurting. My mom was gone. She was dead, I was like just desperate, broken, I didn't think anybody, there was nobody for me there. And as I looked at that computer screen, I didn't see a patent because on that computer screen were written different scriptures from the Psalms and encouraging things that talk about how God heals the brokenhearted. He binds up their wounds. He sees us. He saves our tears. I started screaming for the other ladies, the other inmates. I'm like, God's talking to me on my computer! I read this love letter from God, who saw me in this 40 acre cage prison and came to me in my moment of desperation to let me know he saw me. He loved me and he was right there beside me in my most broken place. It was God himself speaking to me, one little one-legged, ex -addict federal inmate inside of a federal prison locked away from society. That God who rescued me, gave me joy and saved my soul came to me in that dark moment to tell me and remind me that he loved me and that there was still hope for my future. At a time where you felt lost and unseen, you no longer had your mother or your father or anyone else around you. Right. God made sure that you knew that he saw you and he was with you. Friends, if that is not an encouragement to you, Julie has been sharing how the seemingly impossible happened time after time after time again, but her heart was surrendered. One of the things that drew me to you and your story is your perspective. You wrote in the book, life is so good. Now friends, what I want you to know is this was her perspective sitting in federal prison. “Life is so good. I had a great job. I had a new leg. I was clean and sober and healthy. For the first time in 17 years, it mattered not to me that I was on the wrong side of the razor wire fence. I was sober, happy, and even in prison, I was free." That's an incredible statement, that you could find freedom within the razor walls of prison. Forgiveness is like a chain around our neck or unforgiveness is and if we are able to let go and especially towards our self. You know, I had so much shame, I had so much guilt and at times it was tormenting and in those moments what I learned is that I needed to stop looking inward at myself and at what I had done. I had to stop looking in the rearview mirror at my past and simply look up to the Savior who forgave it all and washed me clean. I made up my mind I was going to replace my old stinking thinking with God's thinking and I was in my Bible probably up to five hours a day. It was like Jesus boot camp…I would get index cards and I would write the scripture on an index card and I was on the bottom metal bunk of a two, bunk, metal bunk bed. And I taped like wallpaper all the way around my bunk bed on the inner little ledge and every day at lunch I would not eat lunch I would come to my room sit on the bed and I would start at one place and I would go through every single card and read every single scripture out loud speaking it out loud over my life. I've been out of prison for 23 years and I've been married to my prison chaplain husband for 19 years. We are prison ministers, we're ordained ministers and 11 years ago my husband drove me to the Jacksonville, Florida International Airport and my son at the age of 20 years old got off a plane and came running to his mama arms wide, open, and full forgiveness. Not only is he saved, not only is he a Christian, but his moment of giving his life to Jesus happened exactly the way I prayed. When he told me about it, he said, "You're going to think this is weird, mom, but..." And it was exactly what I prayed. This is the favorite part of my story. And the part of my story that gives me probably the most joy. God delivered me from the pit of prison so that I could spend the rest of my life going back in. When I was in prison, I told God, I made him a promise, and I said, "If you let me out of here, I will spend the rest of my life going back in," and telling inmates who are hopeless, who think that they have messed up beyond repair, who think there is no way out of their situation that Jesus died to set the captive free and make them a new creation and that there is hope in him. And God let me do that. Scripture References: Psalm 18:16-19 “He reached down from heaven and rescued me; he drew me out of deep waters…He led me to a place of safety; he rescued me because he delights in me.” Isaiah 61:1 “The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me, for the LORD has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to proclaim that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed.” Recommended Resources: All My Hope: A Prisoner No More by Julie Seals Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue Social Media Links for Host: Connect with Julie Seals: Website / Facebook / Instagram / YouTube For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple Guest: Julie Seals is an ordained minister and prison evangelist. Having left her life as a drug addict and dealer behind, Julie Seals is now a Hope Dealer as she inspires and challenges people from all walks of life to encounter, know, and live for Jesus. She co-founded Her Hope Recovery Ministry in 2022. Julie is married to prison chaplain, Mike Seals. Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: If you think your life is too far gone, or if you’ve made too many mistakes for God to redeem, you’re going to want to listen to today’s conversation: a Sacred Scar Story. Julie knew she could spend the rest of her life in prison if she were caught crossing the border with four pounds of methamphetamine duct-taped to her waist. But life had become so overwhelming, so painful, that she no longer cared if she lived or died. So, she crossed over the border. And with her arrest as a drug smuggler that day, her years of running from responsibility -and from God - came to an end. Through one miraculous event after another, God transformed Julie from drug dealer to Hope Dealer. In her book, All My Hope, Julie wrote “It takes courage to live beyond regrets, but the good news is that God wanted to take my mess and turn it into a miracle.” Join us on the podcast as we talk about Finding Hope After Addiction, Loss, and Imprisonment. Quotables from the episode: I want you to know that nothing you face is impossible with God. NOTHING. The blood of Jesus has never lost its power. God takes our mess and turns it into a message for the world. You see, what looked like a loss was really a game, because when my leg was amputated, it was one thing that did actually send me spiraling further into addiction. In that spiraling, I ended up at the foot of the cross in the arms of Jesus. And it was in that place where I was so done with the pain and the suffering and the dumb decisions and the addiction that I was so desperate, I cried out to God to become the center of my life, or I was going to lose everything. I had lost a leg; you would think that was a lot. But I was on the way to losing my very soul and my very self. You don't realize that you're stepping into a trap of the enemy that is going to consume you and steal your identity and your very soul. Sin is enticing because sin feels good for a moment. My first use of drugs took me on a journey straight to hell on earth. Addiction runs rampant in my family on both sides. And so that first line of meth, it just had me hooked. Addiction took me further than I ever wanted to go and made me someone I never wanted to be because I ended up liking the feeling that I got when I snorted that meth so much that I would do anything. I would tell any lie, I would deceive my parents, I would tiptoe into their bedroom at night and steal $50 bills out of my dad's wallet while he slept, I would do anything for that feeling. And then that feeling doesn't last forever. I would mix it with alcohol and try to get this euphoric feeling and it was like chasing my tail. And meanwhile, I'm slowly like becoming more and more depraved. Addiction made me lose all of any sense of morals that I may have had, even as a non -Christian, even as somebody who wasn't living for Jesus. I felt the presence of God there, and in that moment and I believed in God I knew he was real and I even understood that he could see me and I think it's that little seed of faith right the Bible says that we are all born with a measure of faith and so with that measure of faith I believed in God and he was chasing me and in that moment, I felt like God told me you can't have one foot with me and one foot in the world. Well, I didn't even have one foot with him yet. That voice made me stop and really think, “Okay, I'm living this way, But God is calling me to a life with him.” Nobody ever starts off using a substance thinking, “Oh I want to become an addict.” That's the grip that addiction has. It's like an invisible hand around your throat. There's only one thing that can break the grip of addiction, and that is the love and the power and the blood of Jesus. After I lost my leg to amputation, and I just was getting more and more into a world of darkness and desperation. I took my little boy, and I moved across the country because I thought that if I could get away from the things that or hard and start over in a new place, that everything would change. The only problem was I was still there, and I was my biggest problem, but I didn't know it yet. When you're in addiction, there's all those wrong people and you flock together. I went home from that doctor's appointment in Mexico and I fell on my knees in this home that overlooked the ocean. And it was in that moment of desperation that I see all this time I had thought I was a victim of life and circumstances. I felt sorry for myself and poor me, all this stuff happened to me. And in that moment when I was so broken, it was like the Holy Spirit himself descended into my living room and pulled the blinders off my eyes. I understood in this holy moment that I was not a victim. I was a sinner in need of a savior. I realized in this holy moment that I was not a victim of life, but a sad or addiction. I was a sinner in need of a savior. I fell to my knees after that appointment in my home overlooking the ocean and in my strung-out depraved desperation when I felt the Holy Spirit descend in the living room I cried out to God, and I said “I can't meet you halfway. I can't stop drinking. I can't stop doing drugs. I need you to become the center of my life or I'm going to be lost forever.” Other inmates began to notice that the one-legged lady who passionately loved Jesus was working hard to keep her heart pure. Those inmates came to me and started asking me about this Jesus whom I loved so much. The joy on the inside of me was so infectious that everyone around me wanted some of it. Even the correctional officers started asking me about my experience with Jesus! It takes courage to live beyond regrets, but the good news is that God wanted to take my mess and turn it into a miracle. You will also need to be courageous, because life on earth is hard. You will experience loneliness, loss, temptation, rejection, and attacks. But do not fear, for I will be with you! When we’re determined to not allow our faith and our dreams to be crushed by regret, grief, and sorrow, God will be able to use our grief and sorrow to make us strong and increase our faith in Him. I would leave you listener with the perspective that when you think you are at rock bottom that is the place where Jesus if you cry out to him will come sweeping in because it was in that prison that a prison ministry volunteer walked in and told me that Jesus Christ loved me, died for my sin, and would make me a new creation, and it was in that prison that I put my hope in Jesus and became free on the inside for the very first time in my life. Rock Bottom is the place where Jesus will come rushing in and change everything. Scripture References: 2 Corinthians 5:16-17 “So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know him now! This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” Hebrews 13:8 “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” 1 Corinthians 13:33 “Bad company corrupts good character.” Recommended Resources: All My Hope: A Prisoner No More by Julie Seals Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue Social Media Links for Host: Connect with Julie Seals: Website / Facebook / Instagram / YouTube For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple Guest: Julie Seals is an ordained minister and prison evangelist. Having left her life as a drug addict and dealer behind, Julie Seals is now a Hope Dealer as she inspires and challenges people from all walks of life to encounter, know, and live for Jesus. She co-founded Her Hope Recovery Ministry in 2022. Julie is married to prison chaplain, Mike Seals. Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: In this episode of Your Hope-Filled Perspective, my co-host Rev. Jessica Van Roekel joins me to explore the heart issue behind grumbling and complaining and how it reflects a lack of trust in God’s provision and plan. Grumbling is self-focused and rooted in unmet expectations, comparison, stress, and a scarcity mindset, leading to drained joy, strained relationships, and a disconnection from God’s presence. In contrast, lament allows us to honestly share our pain with God while trusting His sovereignty. Together, we discuss practical ways to combat a grumbling spirit, such as focusing on blessings, practicing gratitude, and seeking accountability. By shifting our perspective from what we lack to what we have in Christ, we can experience renewed joy, peace, and a deeper dependence on God, even in life’s challenges. Join us for How God Views Grumbling and Complaining & How to Cultivate a Grateful Heart. Quotables from the episode: God has the standards but I sometimes like to superimpose my standards on it and so then I struggle with perfectionism which is really driven out of insecurity and fear of rejection and I find myself getting into this grumbling cycle. Sometimes when I'm in that cycle and then I choose gratitude, it feels a little fake. I don't know if I'm really truly genuine. And so I'm trying to understand that when God has called me to a new thing, it's going to feel a little not real at the moment or it's not going to feel as authentic because I'm starting a new habit. It's just like any time we try to establish a new habit. It takes time. It takes practice. It feels awkward at first and there are some personality types that lend themselves more quickly to grumbling and complaining and I think there are some personality types that lend themselves to always seeing the good in every situation and I want to be more like the latter than the former. God's heart for you is good he wants you to trust him he wants you to let the love for him flow from a heart of gratitude for what he's done. It is not just that grumbling reflects a lack of trust in God, but it really disdains him. And that's what really convicted me, is the fact that when I complain, I'm really disdaining God's work in my life because our circumstances flux from good to, they could be better, to I don't want to be here. Why am I here? And so when we then start complaining and grumbling against God, it really disdains the work that he's doing. There's a passage in Psalms that says that everything that touches our lives has to pass through his hands first. And when I, when I cut my hand, like a bowl like this, you know, there's, I think of God's hand being cupped. And I'm thinking, what is he actually also preventing from hitting my life? Because when we, when we cup our hands and water runs through them, there is a pool of water that stays in our hands. When we grumble and complain, it reminds me of when we give a gift to someone and they don't receive it with a heart of gratitude. How hurtful that can be when our heart is for them. Yet when we grumble and complain, it's like saying, "Yeah, that wasn't good enough, God. That's what I wanted." And who am I to tell God what to do? In fact, but we also have to give space for our heartaches too. Psalm 62:8 says to pour out your heart to God. To look at Lament at first glance, it could look like grumbling and complaining. It's a fine distinction. Grumbling and complaining come from a heart of, I deserve this. So, grumbling and complaining is very self -focused, but lament is approaching God honestly, sharing our pain but recognizing that he is sovereign and his will be done and it gives the essence of I don't like where I'm at but I trust that your way is best. Grumbling and complaining is self-driven with a heart that is not trusting God's sovereignty. Whereas lamenting is sharing our heartache. It's telling our heartache to God with a surrender to his sovereignty. It's almost as if grumbling and complaining is talking bad about God and lamenting is just talking to God, inviting him in to soothe our heart too. And then David has written so many wonderful songs where really it teaches us how to lament. He starts out with like, "Oh, my life is awful God. Why did you allow this to happen? You said you were faithful." And then in the next verse he's like, "But you are faithful God. I'm going to praise your name. I'm going to trust you. You're steadfast and merciful." God desires us to grow in trust and dependence on Him, even during challenging times. There are common reasons we fall into grumbling, like unmet expectations, comparison, stress, and focusing on what we lack rather than what we have. Grumbling and complaining is speaking against God and is forming idols out of what it is we want and/or think we deserve. A grumbling spirit can drain our joy, disconnect us from God’s presence, and even negatively impact our relationships with others. Focusing on blessings, even small ones, can reshape our perspective, making it easier to find peace and joy in God’s presence. Keep a journal or ask a friend to hold yourself accountable in a loving way. Maybe even wear a rubber band on your wrist and flick it every time you notice yourself complaining in order to increase our awareness of how habitual this really is. Practice replacing each complaint with something to be thankful for. This helps to shift from a scarcity mindset to one of abundance in God. Ask God for help in changing your hearts and to help you see His blessings more clearly each day. Scripture References: Philippians 2:14–15 "Do everything without grumbling or arguing…" 1 Corinthians 10:10 “And do not grumble, as some of them did—and were killed by the destroying angel.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18 “give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” Psalm 100:4 “Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.” Recommended Resources: Reframing Rejection: How Looking Through a Different Lens Changes Everything By Jessica Van Roekel Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Jessica Van Roekel: Website / Instagram / Facebook For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple Co-Host: Jessica Van Roekel is a worship leader, speaker, and writer who believes that through Jesus, personal histories don’t need to define the present or determine the future. She inspires, encourages, and equips others to look at life through the lenses of hope, trust, and God’s transforming grace. Jessica lives in rural Iowa surrounded by wide open spaces which remind her of God’s expansive love. She loves fun earrings, good coffee, and connecting with others. Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: Have you ever found yourself saying yes when you really wanted to say no? Or have you ever felt overwhelmed and exhausted because you were trying to meet everyone else’s expectations? If so, you are not alone. In recognition of National Stress Awareness Day, today, we’re going to explore how to move from overwhelmed to overjoyed by learning to say no without feeling guilty. We’ll dive into Scripture, explore research on overcommitment, and I’ll share five practical ways to set God-honoring boundaries. Quotables from the episode: Many of us, especially as women, have been taught that saying yes is the godly thing to do. We associate busyness with productivity, and productivity with worth. But the truth is, constantly saying yes can leave us drained, distracted, and distant from God’s best for us. For many years, I said “Yes” every time something was asked of me because I believed it was the godly response. Until God impressed upon my heart that he never told me to do that much, and had I sought him for wisdom, He would have readily guided my path! That was totally on me, but God was so gentle in getting my attention. Psychologists have long studied the effects of people-pleasing and overcommitment. Research from the American Psychological Association shows that chronic overcommitment leads to stress, anxiety, and even depression. Emotionally, people-pleasers often struggle with self-worth, believing their value is tied to what they do for others rather than who they are in Christ. Chronic Overcommitment and Overwhelm Chronic overcommitment and overwhelm can take a serious toll on physical health, leading to conditions such as: Adrenal Fatigue & Hormonal Imbalance – Constant stress can dysregulate cortisol levels, leading to exhaustion, brain fog, and difficulty managing emotions. Cardiovascular Issues – Chronic stress increases blood pressure, heart rate, and inflammation, raising the risk of heart disease, hypertension, and stroke. Weakened Immune System – Prolonged stress suppresses immune function, making the body more susceptible to infections and slower to heal. Gastrointestinal Problems – Overwhelm can contribute to acid reflux, irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), ulcers, and digestive issues. Chronic Pain & Inflammation – Stress triggers inflammation, which can exacerbate conditions like fibromyalgia, arthritis, and migraines. Sleep Disorders – Overcommitment often leads to insomnia, poor sleep quality, and chronic fatigue. Weight Gain or Loss – Stress-related eating patterns can lead to unhealthy weight fluctuations, metabolic dysfunction, and insulin resistance. Muscle Tension & Headaches – Persistent stress can cause tight muscles, tension headaches, and even TMJ (jaw pain from clenching). Burnout & Mental Fog – Long-term overwhelm can impair cognitive function, reducing focus, memory, and decision-making ability. Autoimmune Disorders – Chronic stress has been linked to the development or worsening of autoimmune diseases such as lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, and multiple sclerosis. Managing stress through rest, boundaries, and self-care isn’t just about mental well-being; it’s essential for physical health. Jesus himself set boundaries. In Luke 5:16, we read, “But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” He didn’t heal every person or meet every need. He sought the Father’s will first. If Jesus set boundaries, then we should, too. Addressing the spiritual and scientific aspects of restoration To counteract the physical effects of chronic overcommitment and overwhelm, we must address both the spiritual and scientific aspects of restoration. Here’s how: Prioritizing Rest & Sabbath (Biblical & Scientific) Biblical Insight: God modeled rest in Genesis 2:2-3, and Jesus regularly withdrew to quiet places (Mark 6:31). Sabbath isn’t just a suggestion; it’s a command for our well-being (Exodus 20:8-10). Science: Rest lowers cortisol, improves immune function, and enhances brain health. Sleep is crucial for memory consolidation and physical repair. Application: Schedule intentional rest. Guard your Sabbath. Ensure 7-9 hours of sleep. Setting Boundaries to Prevent Overcommitment Biblical Insight: Even Jesus set boundaries—He didn’t heal everyone at once and took time alone with the Father (Luke 5:16). Proverbs 4:23 reminds us to guard our hearts, which includes protecting our time and energy. Science: Chronic stress leads to burnout, weakened immunity, and heart disease. Learning to say “no” prevents emotional and physical depletion. Application: Use discernment in commitments. Before saying “yes,” ask: Does this align with God’s will? Is this sustainable? Engaging in Mind-Body Renewal Biblical Insight: Romans 12:2 encourages us to renew our minds. Philippians 4:8 tells us to focus on what is pure and lovely. Science: Practices like deep breathing, exercise, and gratitude shift the brain out of stress mode, improving mental clarity and resilience. Application: Try breath prayers (e.g., inhale “Be still,” exhale “and know that I am God”; inhale “I trust you, God,” exhale “in all things.”). Move daily to reduce inflammation and boost mood. Nourishing the Body & Mind Biblical Insight: Daniel chose healthy foods and was stronger than those indulging in excess (Daniel 1:12-15). Our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). Science: Whole foods reduce inflammation, regulate blood sugar, and protect against stress-related illnesses. Application: Eat nutrient-dense foods, stay hydrated, and avoid excess caffeine or sugar that heightens stress responses. Seeking Community & Support Biblical Insight: Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 teaches that two are better than one. We weren’t designed to carry burdens alone (Galatians 6:2). Science: Social connection lowers stress hormones, strengthens immunity, and increases resilience. Application: Surround yourself with godly counsel. Delegate. Accept help. Community is part of God’s design for our well-being. Releasing Control & Trusting God Biblical Insight: Jesus said, “Come to me, all who are weary… and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). Trusting God’s sovereignty brings peace (Isaiah 26:3). Science: Chronic stress stems from feeling out of control. Releasing worries to God reduces anxiety, lowers blood pressure, and improves mental health. Application: Regularly surrender your burdens to God. Journal prayers. Meditate on Scriptures about His faithfulness. By aligning our lives with God’s rhythms and applying scientific wisdom, we can reduce overwhelm and prevent burnout and experience lasting peace. Practical Tips for How to Set Healthy, God-Honoring Boundaries Recognize that “No” is a Complete Sentence You don’t need to over-explain or justify your decision. Jesus simply said “yes” or “no” (Matthew 5:37). When we recognize that saying no is a way to honor God’s best for us, we can do so with confidence. Pray Before You Commit Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. ”Before saying yes to anything, take a moment to pray and ask, Is this God’s best for me in this season? Set Priorities Based on God’s Calling Ephesians 2:10 tells us that we are created for good works that God prepared in advance for us. This means that we are not called to do everything—only what He has specifically prepared for us. Identify what God is calling you to do in this season and let that guide your commitments. Understand That Saying No Opens the Door for God’s Yes When we fill our schedules with obligations, we leave no room for the divine appointments God has for us. Saying no creates margin for God’s greater yes. Isaiah 30:21 says, “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.’” Practice Saying No with Grace and Love You can say no in a way that honors both God and the other person. Here are a few ways: “Thank you for thinking of me, but I can’t commit to that right now.” “I appreciate the opportunity, but I need to focus on what God has called me to in this season.” “I’d love to help another time, but my plate is full right now.” Encouraging Scripture to Empower You: Learning to say no without feeling guilty Galatians 1:10 – “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Matthew 11:28-30 – Jesus calls us to rest in Him, not to take on every burden. Psalm 46:10 – “Be still, and know that I am God.” Sometimes, God’s best for us is rest. Ecclesiastes 3:1 – “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” We must discern what is right for this season. Colossians 3:23 – “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.” Our commitments should be done with joy and purpose, not guilt. Scripture References: Luke 5:16 “But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” Galatians 1:10 “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Matthew 11:28-30 Jesus calls us to rest in Him, not to take on every burden. Psalm 46:10 “Be still, and know that I am God.” Sometimes, God’s best for us is rest. Ecclesiastes 3:1 “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” We must discern what is right for this season. Colossians 3:23 “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.” Our commitments should be done with joy and purpose, not guilt. Saying no is not a rejection of others—it is a way of saying yes to what God has planned for you. You don’t have to live overwhelmed and exhausted. You can move from overcommitted to overjoyed by setting God-honoring boundaries. I encourage you this week to pray over your commitments. Ask God to show you where you need to say no so you can say yes to His best. If today’s episode resonated with you, share it with a friend who needs encouragement in this area. And as always, if you need more hope-filled encouragement, visit my website DrMichelleB.com or connect with me on social media. If you know someone who routinely falls prey to people-pleasing, or is feeling overwhelmed, please consider sharing this episode with them to offer a biblically-based hope-filled perspective. Recommended Resources: Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue Social Media Links for Host: For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: Community is a gift from God that reflects His nature and intention for us. Through meaningful relationships, we experience support, growth, and a deeper connection with Him. While cultivating community takes effort and intentionality, the blessings far outweigh the challenges. By leaning on biblical principles, embracing vulnerability, and taking actionable steps, we can foster relationships that uplift and transform us. Let’s take God’s invitation to heart and pursue community as a way to share His love, grace, and hope with others. Today, we’re diving into a topic that touches the heart of our daily lives: the importance of community. God created us for relationship, not just with Him, but with each other. In a world that often feels isolated and disconnected, it’s vital to rediscover the power of authentic, Christ-centered community. Together, we’ll unpack what the Bible says about community, why it’s essential for our spiritual, emotional, and mental well-being, and practical steps we can take to intentionally cultivate meaningful connections. My son, Bryce, joins me on the podcast to talk about The Power of Togetherness: Why Community Matters in Faith and Life. Quotables from the episode: Christ-centered community is, in all reality, exactly what it sounds like. It is a community striving together to edify and encourage one another to grow in their relationship to Christ individually. And it is that community that pushes each other to go towards Christ in the center. I think that community is very important in today's culture because we have grown very disconnected. Part of that free reign of access is the advent of social media, and it is very helpful to be able to connect with people one -on -one and being able to see people's life updates. But I think everyone is fully aware of the social media fact of you're only seeing the best. Community is very important because there is that lack and that prevalence of comparison that is leading people to feel isolated and like they aren't living up to what the dream is. I would say isolated and discontent because of that tendency towards comparison. And yet isn't it interesting that in a day and an age where things are supposedly more social, we see that loneliness is a huge epidemic. So, it's kind of ironic, if you will, that in this day of social media, people are feeling lonelier than ever. What role does the Bible place on the value of relationships within the Church and beyond? Oh, the Bible places an incredible amount of importance on relationships. You can just go throughout all of scripture and every single book there is an example. There is David and Jonathan. There's Ruth and Naomi. There is John and Jesus. Paul and Timothy. You can go on and on and on and give examples of all of these wonderful pairs of relationships and these groups. Jesus having the twelve disciples and David's mighty men. there is so much importance in the Bible on relationships because when God formed Adam in the garden, he made Adam in his own image and looked at it and looked at Adam and said "This isn't good for you to be alone." Even though you were made in my image, the best good that you could have out of all of creation, it wasn't good for him to be alone. When we have a heart that's focused on the fact that God wants us to have community. He wants us to share his love with other people. I think we have to get past worrying what other people are going to think. Self -consciousness often stems from some type of fear, fear of rejection, fear of not being understood, fear of being misconstrued with what you say. The importance of vulnerability is really saying, you're not alone in whatever this thing is. Being able to be vulnerable and say, I've been down this road, or even if I've not been down this road, but I'm willing to walk down it with you, is so critical of just opening the door of wherever this relationship goes, I want to go there alongside you. Forgiveness is a necessary component in any relationship. What a great example there is in Jesus. That's exactly what he does with our sin. We have to ask for forgiveness. And so, if we receive forgiveness from him, how much more should we give forgiveness to others? If we don't extend forgiveness, then that's just an opportunity for the enemy to come in and build up bitterness and resentment, which tears down relationships. So, if we prize relationship, we prize connection, relationship, we've got to include forgiveness as an aspect then, or we run the risk of losing out. Start with open-ended questions and the willingness to be silent, waiting for the other person to respond, then pull on the strings within the conversation. Scripture References: Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 – "Two are better than one... If either of them falls down, one can help the other up." Proverbs 27:17 – "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." Matthew 18:20 – "For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them." Hebrews 10:24-25 – "Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds... not giving up meeting together." 1 Thessalonians 5:11 – "Encourage one another and build each other up." Recommended Resources: Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue Social Media Links for Host: For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: In this episode, we’re diving into a topic that’s vital for our mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being: how to renew your mind. Have you ever felt stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts, worry, or defeat? You’re not alone. But the good news is that God’s Word provides us with clear guidance on transforming our thinking and experiencing peace, hope, and victory. In this episode, we’ll explore what the Bible says about renewing your mind, why it’s crucial for mental health, and practical steps you can take to align your thoughts with God’s truth. Let’s embark on this hope-filled journey together! In honor of National Train Your Brain Day, today we’re going to be talking about Breaking Free from Negative Thinking: Renewing Your Mind Through Scripture. Quotables from the episode: Romans 12:2 highlights the transformative power of aligning our thoughts with God’s will rather than the world’s patterns. Science shows that thought patterns are established through neural pathways in the brain. Repeated thoughts and behaviors strengthen these pathways, much like well-worn trails in a forest. This process, known as neuroplasticity, means the brain is constantly reshaping itself based on our experiences, emotions, and repeated patterns of thinking. We often believe things that aren't true because of cognitive biases and mental shortcuts our brains use to process information (like confirmation bias, negativity bias, emotional reasoning) While science describes how thought patterns are formed, Scripture offers a roadmap for transforming unhealthy or false beliefs through God’s truth, creating new neural pathways aligned with His Word. Renewing the mind is not a one-time event but a continual process of growth and surrender to God’s truth. Our emotions are the outward manifestations of the thoughts we believe. As such, our thoughts influence our emotions, decisions, and actions, shaping our overall mental health. From a scientific perspective, our thoughts matter because they influence our brain's structure, emotional health, and overall behavior. This scientific understanding underscores the importance of intentionally aligning our thoughts with truth. Scripture gives us the blueprint for this renewal, while science shows the profound impact it has on our mental and physical health. Research has demonstrated a connection between dwelling on negative or untrue thoughts and experiencing anxiety, depression, or hopelessness. In order to break free from destructive thought patterns, it’s important to replace lies with truth To recognize thoughts inconsistent with God’s Word, ask these questions: Does this thought align with Scripture? Is this thought producing fear, doubt, or condemnation? Does this thought reflect God’s character and promises? Replace these thoughts with Scripture. Gratitude shifts our focus from problems to God’s goodness and faithfulness. Accountability, encouragement, and prayer from fellow believers is important to ensure that we are surrounded by voices who will speak truth into our circumstances. Renewing the mind isn’t about striving in our own strength but relying on the Holy Spirit to guide, convict, and transform us. Renewing your mind is a powerful and transformative process that aligns your thoughts with God’s truth, bringing hope, peace, and clarity to your life. By identifying and replacing lies with Scripture, meditating on God’s Word, speaking His promises, cultivating gratitude, and seeking support from a godly community, you can break free from negative thought patterns and experience lasting mental health. Most importantly, remember that you’re not doing this alone. The Holy Spirit is your helper, leading you every step of the way. Let’s commit to this journey of renewal together and trust God to do a transformative work in our minds and hearts. Scripture References: Romans 12:2 commands: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Proverbs 23:7 says, “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” Job 3:25 “What I always feared has happened to me. What I dreaded has come true.” 2 Corinthians 10:5 “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” Psalm 1:2-3 encourages us to meditate on God’s law day and night, promising that we will be “like a tree planted by streams of water.” Proverbs 18:21 “The tongue has the power of life and death.” Psalm 139:14 “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” Philippians 4:6-7 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God… will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” John 14:26 “But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.” Recommended Resources: Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue Social Media Links for Host: For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: In this episode of Your Hope-Filled Perspective, we sit down with Kenza Haddock, author of The Three Enemies of Your Mental Health: Gain Lasting Victory Over the Devil, the Flesh, and the World. Together, we explore the spiritual and emotional challenges that impact mental health and uncover the biblical strategies to overcome them. Kenza shares practical insights on identifying and defeating these "three enemies" - the devil, the flesh, and the world - through the power of God’s truth. Whether you’re battling anxiety, negative thought patterns, or the pressures of the world, this conversation will equip you with faith-filled tools to experience victory and lasting peace. Join us for an inspiring and hope-filled discussion on reclaiming your mental and spiritual well-being. Quotables from the episode: Today, we're going to be talking about conquering the three enemies of mental health. We’re attacked by the enemy on a daily basis. The key is to recognize the attack and fight back with the right weapons. I grew up in an Islamic household. And so just growing up, my understanding of the character of God was distorted. And so I grew up believing in a different God, but I thought he was the right God. I came to know the Lord is through a dream about Jesus. Growing up, I battled with my own depression. I battled with anxiety, but I didn't know that they were clinical depression and anxiety. It's like I was high functioning. I thought anxiety was the norm. It was normal for me to think something bad is about to happen. I had the symptoms of the clinical diagnosis. And it was about, I'd say, early 20s or so, when my depression just got worse and worse, to the point of suicidal ideations because I felt like I was, I had no hope. I decided to blaze my own trail. And I mean, I drove into astrology. I drove into chakras, reiki, everything you can think of. I tried to figure out my own purpose in life. And none of that brought me the peace that I remembered feeling when I had a dream about Jesus. What's incredible is God is so kind and so patient with us. You know, he didn't stop pursuing me. He didn't throw in the towel on me. He just kept pursuing and pursuing and he knew I was going to hit a dead end at some point and I did. I decided to give my life to Jesus and after I gave my life to Jesus and I moved to South Carolina and I just started my life from scratch. The Lord called me to the field of counseling. I had never thought I was going to become a counselor, but I felt the Holy Spirit for the first time, and I just felt this call toward the field. So I went back to school, finished my clinicals, and then I started treating brothers and sisters in the faith from both a clinical and a biblical perspective. I could not believe just how many patients I had who were self -professing believers, who struggled with the same ideas and the same issues and negative thoughts and oppressions that I struggled with as a Muslim. I noticed that even believers are not equipped to fight against spiritual forces of darkness. They're not. How did your family take it when you became a believer in Jesus Christ? – They didn't take it well. I had experienced persecution because of that. And the reason I moved to South Carolina is for safety reasons. I needed to start my life from scratch, but of course they found me and you know the Bible says count the cost Jesus said count the cost and for me the count the cost was my mother my father brother sisters my family was everything to me and I was raised with I pledged my allegiance to my family and so my allegiance would have been divided. When Jesus says that basically you have to put him before your mom and dad, it's not that you need to hate them, it's that you need to love him more. How does scripture reveal the roles of the devil, the flesh and the world as adversaries to mental health? What I have seen my practice is the devil will do anything possible to split our faith in Jesus. So even if it's 90% in Jesus and 10% in the object of our faith, that's splitting your faith in Jesus. We were made for relationships. When we spend time with the Lord, when we spend time with God, there is a chemical that gets released in our body and that chemical is serotonin that chemical combats depression just naturally okay now what happens is because we have the wrong perspective of God. We don't spend time with Him. We think the Bible is outdated. A lot of people think that. They have actually done a research out of Biola University where they claim that God is, they found that most people believe that God is mean, harsh, or distant. Those are the top three adjectives they use to describe God. And because of all of that, we run to self -medicate. And so, we self -medicate by watching too much Netflix, too much TV, right? We don't pay attention. For overcoming enemy number one, the devil, you have to renounce your dealings with the kingdom of darkness. There's no way around that. Now, number one, if you're not a believer, you have to give your life to Jesus. And I feel like I have to say this because I have had patients who came to see me and said, "Can you do it for me because you're a believer? Can we bypass Jesus?" No, we can't bypass Jesus. That's just not how it works. And the reason they say that is because they believe Jesus is a dictator and they have the wrong perspective about him. And so, they don't understand that he's a God who pursued them to the point of dying on the cross for them to satisfy the righteous requirement of sin so that they can have a relationship with Him. And so, number one, you have to have a relationship with Jesus. Psalm 139 that says, "Search me, O God, and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that's offensive to you and lead me to the path of everlasting life." And just ask him to show you what in your life is taken priority or is not of him. And he will show you. It's a dangerous prayer, but he will show you. Don't ever think that God is condemning you because in Jesus there's no condemnation and God is not a man that he should lie. He doesn't lie to you. There's no condemnation. He may convict you if you're acting in a way that is incongruent to who you are in Jesus. But conviction says, "Hey, you should not have done that." Condemnation says, "Hey, you're a loser, you're this, you're that, and you'll never come back from it." There's a huge difference between the two. One, it redeems you. Because conviction is for the purpose of restoring our relationship with God. But condemnation serves to separate us. You know, when we feel guilty or condemned, we're embarrassed. And so, we separate ourselves from others and from God. So, there's a huge distinction between the two. The other area that the enemy gets a foothold besides lying to us is that very subtle did “God really say…? If he really loved you he would have X, Y, and Z.” It's that little word really that gets us to doubt what the Bible says about God. That's the oldest lie. It's the oldest lie. It dates back to Genesis and so what he does is he induces doubt. That's the cycle of enemy number one. He induces doubt and when he says “did God really tell you?” or “Does God really love you?” “Is God really looking out for you?” And he'll come to you, especially in times when you're desperate, then doubt leads to temptation and when you act on it and you don't receive God's forgiveness or you don't repent and receive God's forgiveness, it leads to shame and shame is going to lead to hiding. Unfortunately, we wear these masks and I call them defense mechanisms. Defense mechanisms are basically masks that we wear in order to keep God from, I mean, he's trying to heal us, but we try to push him away and keep him from healing the wounds that he's trying to heal. And these defense mechanisms that we employ, and I list all of them in the book, but most common ones are denial, like we deny that there's an issue with us, or there's repression, meaning we don't deny the problem, but we deny its effects on us. We act like, “Oh, no, everything is fine. Everything is okay.” Meanwhile, God wants us to bear our hearts to him. He wants us to surrender our wounds to him. Another practical way is ask the Lord to prioritize your life. It's a dangerous prayer and it's a dangerous request because he will prune who needs to be pruned. Yes, he will. Anything that doesn't bear fruit, he’s going cut off. So, it is a risky prayer, but what a fruitful prayer. Yes, because we were made for his purpose, and we were made to bear fruit. He made us for a specific purpose. And so many times, we just hit one dead end after another, after another, and we live a frustrated life, but really we can live a fruitful life if we just surrender to him and ask him, "Lord, I can't do it by myself. I need you to please just prioritize my life according to your will." And he will, because he wants to be part of every detail of our lives. For the longest time, I had a habit of just waking up and I just felt like I would wake up with anxiety. And believe it or not, so many people deal with this. They wake up and it's like, as soon as their feet hit the floor, like their heart is racing. And what I have found, something that I have found that has helped me so much. And if you want to start this tomorrow morning, and it has a clinical and a biblical basis is tomorrow morning, when you wake up, because it has helped me, instead of first thing is checking your phone, checking your email, because that's what I was doing, is first thing you do, start thanking the Lord God, spend 10 minutes, even if you have to wake up 10 minutes earlier, spend time thanking God for 10 minutes for everything He has done for you. You can find something, even if you are in the midst of despair, you can find something to thank God for. When we start thanking God, there's a chemical in our brain that gets released. It's called serotonin and it combats depression. That chemical floods your body, first thing in the morning, and so it decreases anxiety and it raises, it almost puts a shelter around your brain for any depressive thoughts. That's from a clinical perspective. From a biblical perspective, the Word of God says the Lord inhabits the praises of His people. When we're thanking God for everything He's doing for us and thanking and for who he is, God's presence, God is love and his presence comes and inhabits our praises. God is love and perfect love casts out fear. So, the spirit of fear has to flee when God's presence is there. No matter how many mistakes you have made in the past, no matter how bad you had messed up in the past, that God's grace covers you and there's no way that you could have outrun God. God's grace covers you and his mercy is new for you each and every morning and so remember that and remind yourself of that. God is not looking down on you with a magnifying glass. God loves you and he is just in love with you. And it's the enemy who brings those thoughts that accuse you. The war over your mind doesn’t have to be lost. Scripture References: Psalm 139:23-24 “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns. See if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 62:8 “Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.” Recommended Resources: The Three Enemies of Your Mental Health: Gain Lasting Victory Over the Devil, the Flesh, and the World by Kenza Haddock Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Kenza Haddock: Website For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple Guest: Kenza Haddock is a licensed professional counselor with expertise in treating complex mental health conditions through both clinical and biblical methods. A former Muslim, she has spoken at conferences and churches and been featured in numerous media outlets regarding the intersection of Christianity and mental health counseling. Kenza and her husband own Oceanic Counseling Group LLC headquartered in South Carolina. Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: When we think of Christmas, we picture the manger scene, shepherds in the fields, angels singing, and a star guiding the way. But what if we’ve been missing one of the most important parts of the story all along? In her new book, The Spirit of Christmas, award-winning author Cynthia Ruchti invites us to rediscover the Holy Spirit’s presence woven throughout the Christmas narrative—from Genesis in the Garden of Eden to the cry of a baby in Bethlehem. This conversation will open your eyes to the power, presence, and promise of the Spirit of God in ways that may forever change how you experience Christmas. Quotables from the episode: Christmas often stirs our hearts with nostalgia—decorations, carols, and retelling the story of Mary, Joseph, and the baby Jesus. Yet, as beautiful as those traditions are, there’s more to the Christmas story than we typically notice. Before the babe was conceived, the Holy Spirit was already at work, setting the stage and preparing the hearts of the biblical characters we know and love. This season, let Him set the stage and prepare your heart too. In her book, The Spirit of Christmas, Cynthia Ruchti helps us uncover the often-overlooked role of the Holy Spirit in God’s plan of redemption, reminding us that the Spirit has been present from the beginning—guiding, comforting, and empowering. If you’ve ever longed to experience Christmas with fresh wonder and deeper meaning, this conversation will encourage you to see the season through new eyes. I have found it fascinating that over the course of my life and maybe others have been in the same boat, we might grow up understanding Jesus quite well, or, and we hear Jesus loves me from when we're newborns and aren't even aware, perhaps, of that. And then I personally had gone through some seasons of my life where I thought, "I think I understand Jesus pretty well. I'm getting a good handle on who is this Jesus. I'm not sure I'm as familiar with God the Father as I need to be." So, I had a season of my life that was in my early 20s where I dove in and thought, "I need to know you better, God, my Father," and took an approach as I looked at the Word and noticed that throughout the Old Testament, God described himself as a God of love, which I thought was a New Testament idea. I understood who he was as the majestic Creator, and I think probably it kept him a little distant from me because I saw just that. Then a relative of mine had a heart transplant and I took a fresh Bible, and I circled everywhere in the Bible where the word love or heart appeared because I wanted this person who wasn't close to the Lord at the time to know and understand that God has been talking about the subject of love for a very long time. He's all over the Bible, so page after page was filled with the circled or the little heart drawn around the word love or the word heart. Then there came a season in my life where I thought, "I think I better understand now. We will never fully understand, but I think I better understand. God the Father, God the Son. Do I really understand the Holy Spirit? I know he is. I believe what the Bible tells me about the Holy Spirit, but do I really understand his role or how the different roles of the Trinity make a complete God for us? So, I investigated that, and I watched for his presence, but not as deeply as I did after I was challenged to look for the Holy Spirit's presence in the Christmas story. There was an editor who challenged me with that at a writer's conference. I found it fascinating. I thought that would be a very interesting study. We assume, I think, in the back of our minds that maybe the Holy Spirit is that presence that comes upon Mary in that moment when she conceives Jesus, the baby Jesus, as an infant just minutes old. And then we're not sure where else he might actually show up in the Christmas story. So that was a challenge to me, and I thought it sounded fascinating, but I didn't take the invitation from that editor seriously until a couple of weeks later, when she wrote to me and said, "I want you to write that book." So, then I got very serious and started the deep dive research of where is he? And in some ways, it was kind of a where's Waldo of the Holy Spirit in the Christmas story. That's what began this adventure. And for me, it really did alter my view of how I approach Christmas now for many reasons. And that was one of the reasons that I wanted us to have this conversation because I don't think we're alone in that tendency to not really acknowledge the Holy Spirit as much as we acknowledge Jesus or God the Father. I grew up in a denomination that the only time the Holy Spirit got mentioned was when it was God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, period. So, I like that You took that editor up on the challenge to look for the Holy Spirit throughout the Christmas story. I wondered how far back I would have to trace to find the first evidence of the Holy Spirit and Christmas being linked together. And I realized it was in verse one. It was when the Spirit was hovering over the waters of a world that had yet to be created that was going to need a Redeemer. As we know, God has no beginning and no end, eternity past, eternity present farther than man can imagine. I realized that this in the formation with at creation, God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit, at creation forming a world that they knew was going to need a Redeemer and that that Redeemer was going to be thousands of years away from that moment. I saw the person of the Holy Spirit caring about what was going to happen all those centuries later, even in the creation process. How does that first crime connect to Christmas? There would have been no reason for Jesus to come as a human being if there were any way that we as humans could have behaved ourselves without him. And it wasn't very long into that early beginning creation story before that was so evident that without Christ present, without the Holy spirit present within us. We were never going to be able to satisfy what needed to be satisfied and keep us in a place where we could walk daily, in essence, walking by the Spirit like it talks about in the New Testament. When I began to put the pieces together of this incredible depth of story, this depth of even the communion of the Father and the Son and the Spirit, we saw the Holy Spirit in the Old Testament present in brief moments leading up to when Jesus would be born and then later on as we take that story even farther to his death and his resurrection and his intentional promise, “Hang in there people it's not only okay that I go back to heaven it's better for you that I do because then the Holy Spirit can come, reside inside you, and help you operate out of a place of knowing exactly my heart, knowing what God my Father,” Jesus said, “wants of you, and what will help you to live a life that will allow you to pillow your head every night in peace, no matter what's going on in the rest of your life.” The other thing that I really appreciate about Jesus knowing our every need is when he reminds us that he's got to send the Holy Spirit to remind us of all truth. As a neuropsychologist, that's one of the areas that I love to focus on the most because I have a short memory, and I need those reminders. I love how the spirit of Christmas is our reminder of the gift of the spirit. I didn't grow up in a denomination that had an actual practice of Advent, of intentional preparation for Christmas season. I knew the word, Advent. I knew it was a good word. I knew it was a healthy word and lovely, but we just didn't have that particular practice. We oftentimes, even with Lent, that was another, it seemed like it was for a denomination that was more liturgical, let's say, in thought. But I think more and more these days, we're realizing that every heart needs to be prepared. Every heart needs to “prepare him room” as the one Christmas carol says. It’s actually for any day, but when we think about Christmas in particular, it is so easy to get caught up in all the to -dos and all the menus and all the party planning and all the some-things we're very happy to participate in, some things that just seem like one more chore. And it's kind of this wild cacophony of noise and tension, and there may be relationships that are especially challenged at Christmastime, there may be work -related things that are especially difficult at Christmastime. That is not at all what this is supposed to be about. But we early church members apparently understood that we need time to get our hearts ready for this such, such a holy, holy season. And the Holy Spirit is part of that. As we take a look at what was the Holy Spirit's role in the original story that began way back at creation, but was threaded throughout Scripture as He was present in speaking to Isaiah about a virgin shall conceive way back then. And it didn't say shall conceive in the next day or two. Again, thousands of years from that prophecy, but the Holy Spirit was inspiring that prophet Isaiah to speak of that. And as we look at it in the time period in which those words were spoken, there was chaos. There was political chaos. There was trouble on every hand. There was the son of a king who was now the king, and he was being a lousy king. And this interesting thing: I think he wanted to do the right thing. King Ahaz, I think, wanted to do the right thing. He heard from God, but he didn't trust that what he heard from God was enough. He needed to find other voices that he would listen to. He was getting influenced by all kinds of other people. And Isaiah was trying to bring him back to, "No, there is one God, and you can trust him." And as the Spirit was inspiring Isaiah to speak the words, he was saying to King Ahaz, "Ask God, ask him for a sign, and he'll tell you.” Ahaz didn't have that kind of relationship with God. So, he said, "Oh, I don't want to test God in any way." And through the Holy Spirit's words, through Isaiah, we hear, and if we set it in modern language, we might say, "I'll give you a sign. A virgin is going to conceive and bear a son." And then, and we know some of the rest of that wording. How interesting that in a chaotic world, with a king who wasn't paying attention to the right voices, not unlike the worlds we might be operating in: maybe our boss isn't listening to the right voice, but we have to respond to the boss. Maybe our family members are all chaotic and confused and worrying about where are we going to set Uncle Ralph this Christmas, because he's going to torture these family members even with just teasing. That's the very world that a savior was promised to that world, promised by the Holy Spirit. And it's the same with us now. When I started to study, what was the Holy Spirit's role? He often came to those in the biblical story, some of it in the New Testament now, he came to those who were fearful. They were in danger for their lives. And the Holy Spirit would come on the scene and bring peace or hope or comfort. He would bring guidance where there wasn't any guidance. He accompanied Mary on her journey to visit Elizabeth. Nobody else did. We're not told anybody else was there on that journey, which was a long journey for Mary, except the Holy Spirit, who had to have been whispering comfort and strength, and “you will get through this. I'm here for you. I am with you. I am always with you.” And then Mary and Elizabeth met one another and the baby in Elizabeth's womb knew the Savior was being carried by this woman who couldn't even feel kicks in her own body yet. It was too new, too soon. So, as I look at whether it's darkness or depression or anxiety or legitimate fear or relationship troubles, those scenes were the scenes where the Holy Spirit showed up in the Bible. Those are the scenes I need him to show up in my Christmas. He is there. I just may not have observed that he was there, is there, and was there in the original Christmas story too. The Spirit of Christmas reminds us and brings us back to that recognition that he always was there, and he is there today. To us, waiting often seems purposeless and painful, yet the cry of “how long?” appears throughout scripture. I think one of the things that is toughest about any waiting time is believing you are alone in the waiting. I think honestly, whether it's waiting for a diagnosis or it's waiting for the medicine to kick in, or it's waiting for family members to reconcile, or it's waiting for the job that we believe is out there somewhere that we haven't found yet, whatever the situation is, I believe that what intensifies that waiting experience and makes it full of tension in the natural is the belief that we're alone. Even if we have a loving spouse to share with or we have other family members or a good friend we can converse with, deep down in our soul, it's that misunderstanding that makes us believe that we are alone. And the Holy Spirit is saying, "Untrue. This is untrue. I am here in the waiting, and that's what will make everything change." Mary had a long wait after that moment when the angel said, "You will bear a Savior." She had waiting even from those early days of raising this little baby. Before Jesus' ultimate ministry began, there was another waiting time where she was by his side before the ultimate reason he came to earth was fulfilled. Mary got to witness much of that, even being at the foot of the cross as she watched that ultimate moment then that we relate to Easter but it's so much part of the Christmas story too. As we discover where the Holy Spirit is present, we mimic what he did or what he said. If we see him as comforter, who can we be a comforter for? If we see him as a provider, who can we be a provider for? One of the tips that was given in the book as an idea was, do you really need your Christmas meal more than you need to give your Christmas meal to a family that has none? Can I have turkey any time of the year? Absolutely I can. Would it be a better move for our family to take our meal and give it to someone who has none? I would be acting like the Holy Spirit did and like the heart of Jesus is to forego a need that I think is a need of my own to meet somebody else's need. I make a parallel of the idea of if I'm looking for the Holy Spirit, what I'm looking for is the kind of fruit that he provides: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self -control. So, if I'm going to give good gifts like the Holy Spirit gives, how can I be peace for someone who needs it? How can I be a presence? How can I be evidence of faithfulness? That might be in a visit to someone who is ignored or overlooked during the holiday. We think of those things as philanthropic sometimes or we think of them as just plain old kindness but on the other hand if we see it as the kind of thing the Holy Spirit does, then we realize this is far holier of an act than just a kind deed. When we look at it from that approach and we take that approach we're fueled to be able to and do it more and more and enjoy the process and not see it as an obligation. It has always bothered me the idea of anyone spending Christmas alone. When we discuss the idea of the Holy Spirit is always present, what a better way to show that presence and that love that Jesus came to offer us by reaching out to those who might be alone, who are wondering “where is God today? Does he even see me?” Those are the people who are the most grateful for the smallest of acts because they feel seen. And isn't that what we all want? It's such a gift to know that we are seen by the Holy Spirit. The day after Christmas we're often sitting in a pile of opened packages and empty boxes and toys that the batteries have run out already, and maybe disappointments for how we hoped it would go that it didn't. There are people who are taking ornaments out of the box and it might be baby's first Christmas. We may remember that special day and the ornament brings us pain because hanging it on the tree may be a reminder that that child is no longer here or is estranged from us. Someone will have a Christmas like that. We intentionally set up the devotional to be a short read, one a day, so that for day after day after day of December, including the day after Christmas, there's a reminder of places you might not have thought to look, until I wrote the book. And then we also include a list of helpful hints. We include a downloadable that has to do with how many of these different roles did the Holy Spirit play in this actual event? Part of the advice and the very practical advice is maybe do what I did and make it an actual adventure. Take time to intentionally watch for his presence or be his presence. Let his presence in you shine somehow throughout the holiday season. It can't help but change what your Christmas looks like. One of the outcomes of my own journey to take a better, stronger look at what is this all about is that it really helps us to understand where the meaning of Christmas is and where the meaning isn't. The meaning of Christmas isn't how many parties can I get on my calendar. The meaning is likely more in what can I remove and not lose anything but instead gain. I might gain time that I needed. I might gain a more peaceful attitude toward this season. I might see that some of the things I have worked so hard to do or thought they were so important to make Christmas perfect, aren’t that important. How can we make Christmas any more perfect? Something that God did, that God was all over and did. What we often call essential to Christmas, whether it's that meal or the certain decorations or the tradition that we had of cutting down our own tree or the special hot cocoa that grandma makes; If any of those things are removed from our traditions, is Christmas still going to happen? Absolutely. What's our heart going to be like if we miss the cocoa? Not much difference. What if we miss the Holy Spirit in Christmas? That will make a huge difference - For sure. The idea that the Trinity loved what they created together despite humanity's fall is so powerful. We are the ones He came to save. The Bible would call us Gentiles; we were not born into the original children of Israel. We all can trace our lineage way back to the beginning, but we weren't considered the original children of Israel to which much of the Bible was written. But we are the ones he came to save. There's a verse in Galatians that I don't have memorized yet, but I want to, where it talks about God sent the Son so that we could have the Holy Spirit. When I stumbled on that verse, I thought, He sent Jesus to save us, yes. Jesus had to come as a human, had to leave everything he knew that was so perfect and come into this imperfect world and tolerate us. So, I'm now just fascinated by that idea that God the Father sent the Son to save the world so that we could have the Holy Spirit. That makes the complete picture. And that makes the waiting easier. It makes the feelings of defeat easier. And it makes those times of joy richer. The Holy Spirit, like God the Father and Jesus the Son, is always true to Himself. But that truth shows up in his behavior, we might say, throughout the Christmas story. And it will always be related to something that is so completely positive, but also so completely meeting the needs of the human heart, which is the need for his presence, the need for his comfort, the need for his peace. Scripture References: Luke 1:49 “For the Mighty One has done great things for me—holy is His name.” Recommended Resources: The Spirit of Christmas: Discovering His Presence Throughout the Advent Season by Cynthia Ruchti Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Cynthia Ruchti: Website / Facebook / Instagram / X / LinkedIn For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple Guest: Cynthia Ruchti is an acclaimed writer and speaker. A former radio producer, she is a popular media guest and has been featured on numerous TV, radio, and online outlets. Her written work has received recognition with Publishers Weekly starred reviews, Christian Retailing's BEST Awards, Readers' Choice Awards, Reviewers' Choice Awards, The Carol Award, two Christy finalists, and more. Her tagline is, "I can't unravel. I'm hemmed in Hope." Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.