Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast

Episode Summary: In this episode of Your Hope-Filled Perspective, my guest Bill Derrick and I share how to navigate life’s unexpected challenges with faith and resilience. Drawing on powerful biblical principles, we discuss how to trust God in the midst of life’s storms and find restoration and hope when circumstances feel overwhelming. Our conversation dives into practical tools for facing adversity, embracing God’s peace, and emerging stronger through trials. If you’ve ever wondered how to hold on to faith when life takes an unexpected turn, this episode will inspire and equip you to trust God’s plan and find hope in the storm. Quotables from the episode: I was also learning about the curse of success. When you're very successful, you feel like you could do no wrong. And you feel like you've got all the answers. And I had to learn that neither one of those points were necessarily true. I also had to learn that, yes, I'm in control until I'm not, and now I'm not in control anymore. And last of all, I had to kind of learn that my priorities, because of success probably, had gotten out of whack. When somebody asks you, “what's your priorities?” You automatically say, "Well, that's easy. God, family, and business." I think during this time, my priorities of success now, not necessarily when things went bad, but when we were very successful, one might look at the priorities as being more like “business, business, business, and then God and family, because we were doing well.” Just stick with it because the storm will end. It may not end the way you want it, but it will end and there will be blessings that you will find because of the storm. From a practical standpoint, as leaders, when you do your planning, you plan for success. You don't necessarily plan for what happens if we fail? That's a hard thing to do as a business leader. From a faith standpoint, we're told in the Bible to build your house on a solid foundation so that when the storms come, we don't get washed away. So from that standpoint, I think that's how you can prepare: you go into these storms on the right foundation of faith and trust in God. I was realizing that God had just spent five or six years preparing me. I mean, you know, it sounds a little weird, but I was prepared. I said, we don't know what we were ready for, but we're ready for it and I don't know what the future holds but we're ready to move forward and because I knew that God was going to be there. I feel a calmness, a contentment, that brings me at peace with my situation. I am so grateful for a lot of things and I tell people don't be like me and have to get to the point where things start to be taken away from you for you to be grateful. Being grateful can change your life. First of all, don't ask the question, “where is God?” God is there. The first question we need to ask is, "Where am I?" And lean into God. He doesn't necessarily cause these things, but at the same time, He uses them for our benefit. And if we can just get our minds to that point to where we understand that and we can say, "All right, God, I'm along for the ride. I'm going to do what I can, but you're driving and I need to let you take me where you want me to go." Unexpected circumstances can upend our neatly planned life at any time. God is always there. The question is, do we trust Him enough to help us through the storm by His means and His way? I am amazed at how blind I was before the storm and how God was working in my life. No matter what your circumstances, no matter what your age, no matter what your physical or mental situation, no matter how tragic your experience – believe and trust in the Lord. We all have a choice to make when the storms of life assail us. We can blame God and get angry, or we can let Him take control and trust Him. When things are stripped from our life, it helps lead us back to where we can trust God for our future. The storms we face in life don’t always end the way we want nor when we want them, yet they are often unwanted gifts from God. When things are stripped from our life, it helps lead us back to where we can trust God for our future. Recommended Resources: Restored by the Storm: Navigating Through Life’s Unexpected Challenges by Bill Derrick Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Bill Derrick: Website / Facebook / Instagram / LinkedIn / X For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple Guest: Bill Derrick holds a degree in engineering and an MBA. He helped lead his family construction business through a recession, rebuilt it, and watched it grow in both residential and commercial business. He is a cancer survivor who shares his journey. Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: Aging is not for the faint of heart. But weight gain, illness, and infirmity do not have to be a way of life in our older years. The Bible has much to say about energy, vitality, healthy living, and aging gracefully. Taking care of our bodies is not selfish: it’s critical. Scripture reminds us that our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit. If we don’t take care of our bodies, they won’t take care of us. What is it we need to know to age well? In honor of Women's Health & Fitness Day, we are thrilled to welcome Shemane Nugent, (wife of Ted Nugent) a fitness instructor with over forty-three years of experience, author of Abundantly Well, and a passionate advocate for aging gracefully. What if you could feel healthier and happier without giving up your favorite foods or spending hours at the gym? In this episode, Shemane will share her favorite tips for staying in shape, feeling energized, and embracing vitality in your forties, fifties, sixties, and beyond. Together, we’ll explore how simple daily choices can ignite passion and purpose, no matter your age. Quotables from the episode: Those things that bring us to our knees, I believe bring us closer to God. And there have been a lot of people who have been through so much worse than I have. When we are, you know, trying to navigate through the storm. You can read every self -help book, and I did, and you can call out to God, and I did, and sometimes it might not happen overnight but it brings us to our knees, I believe bring us closer to God. Regardless of what situation or circumstance you're in, God has a plan for you. I am an unlikely messenger. Being healthy is an inside job. We tend to second guess ourselves. Regardless of where they're at in their life, especially where they're at in their health journey, I want to be your cheerleader. I want to come alongside you and advocate for you because I know it's not easy. I do have 44 years of experience in the health and wellness industry. I've taught just about every Fitness modality from step to spinning. I trained with Johnny G the guy who created spinning to slide to body pump to of course Zumba has been my favorite. I trained and developed programs for Zumba, traveled all around the world, training instructors and teaching probably, I don't know, 100,000 people, 100,000 classes. I mean, just having the time of my life, but that doesn't matter if you don't have joy inside, if you don't find your purpose. The baggage that we all carry with us into adulthood, if you had to put a weight on something that happened to you, when you were a kid, you know, somebody said something terrible to you and you still think about that, think about how much, just put a 10 pounds, 20 pounds, think about carrying that baggage around all the time and what your life would be like if you could just let go of it. As soon as I know that I'm awake, I don't even open my eyes. I say a prayer of gratitude, thanking God for my health and my family's health. That is number one for me. I think it's that first couple of steps that are the hardest. Yes, today was cold. It was dreary. I didn't want to exercise, and I do exercise regularly. But so yesterday, I just made an agreement with myself, just go do it for five minutes. Yes, five minutes. And you know what? 35 minutes later, I was so glad that I attempted the five minutes because it's that getting started. And so, friends, listen to what Shemane is saying. Maybe you just need an accountability partner. Maybe you need to text back and forth and say, okay, I'm going to make myself walk today. Hold me accountable tomorrow. There's something about being accountable that creates that momentum. What role does your faith play in your approach to health and wellness? - It's everything. And especially the last, I would say five years, but 10 probably overall, I've done a deep dive into spiritual warfare, the devil comes to steal, kill, and destroy. What better way than to make you doubt yourself, to destroy your health, your family's health? I do have a chapter in this book about spiritual warfare, and for me, faith is everything. Faith is everything that helps me get through the day. God is with us and He's there with us at a right hand and he will walk us through the storm. And sometimes we think we put too much pressure on ourselves to be perfect. He knows that we're not. And I think he loves it when we admit that, when we repent, and we just move forward. Every day we are so blessed, to have another day to start again, try again. And I want to encourage people to do that as So, not be too hard on yourself. That's a good piece of grace -filled advice. When I talk to patients, when I talk to my audience about self-care, that includes self -compassion. Extending grace to ourselves, it's so much harder sometimes for us to extend grace to ourselves that we would extend to a friend. Plan ahead of time, so that when the time comes, you don’t have any excuses to make poor choices. Aging gracefully incorporates our thought life. If we were gentler and kinder to ourselves. I think we would also be gentler and kinder to others when we're tempted to criticize because we often criticize because we're feeling bad about ourselves. She meant if we would come back to what God says, God says we are fearfully and wonderfully made. God says we are the apple of His eye. God says He delights over us with singing. If that's not reason to celebrate us without the makeup and the fancy hair and the fancy clothes, I don't know what is because God looks at the heart. Any plan to age gracefully has to look at what's going on in our heart and what's going on in our thought life. 46:12. I remember just having a sliver of hope, just a tiny little bit of hope. Sometimes that's all we need to get through the day. Focus on the good things focus on the positive things focus on that that open not just opened door, not an open window, but just maybe the windows cracked a little bit. We've got to really count our blessings and be grateful for those things that we have. I think I learned this from my mother, she was very complimentary towards other people. And when I first see somebody, like my friend the other day, I saw her, I'm like, you look really good. Let's compliment each other. Let's start from a perspective of joy and providing other people. Scripture References: 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” 1 Timothy 4: 4-5 “For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer.” Recommended Resources: Abundantly Well: Bible-based Wisdom for Weight Loss, Increased Energy, and Vibrant Health by Shemane Nugent Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Shemane Nugent: Website / Facebook / YouTube / Instagram / Podcast For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple Guest: Shemane Nugent, a bestselling author, has been an expert in the health and fitness industry for more than 40 years. She has been featured on VH1, MTV, CMT, Discovery, C-Span, Entertainment Tonight, Fox, and now hosts Faith & Freedom on Real America’s Voice network. After surviving a life-threatening illness caused by toxic mold, Shemane is dedicated to serving the Lord and helping others lean into abundant living. Shemane lives with her husband, rocker Ted Nugent, and their dogs in Texas. Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: If you’ve ever struggled with discouragement, and we all have because life is full of disappointment and disillusionment, then this episode is for you. In honor of National Day of Encouragement, my co-host, Rev. Jessica Van Roekel and I talk about How to Find Biblical Encouragement for Your Everyday Life. Discouragement can rob us of joy, peace, and a sense of purpose. Encouragement is more than a feeling - it’s a powerful tool to propel us toward hope and confidence even when life feels less than happy. Today we’re going to talk about how to find biblical encouragement for your everyday life. Quotables from the episode: In 2007, a group of young people at the National Leadership Forum at Harding University in Searcy, Arkansas saw a lack of encouragement as one of the main obstacles that people face. While dedicating a day to encourage others is noble, we can experience encouragement every day when we turn to the Lord and receive his encouragement. The challenge to receive biblical encouragement is when we know God’s promises but don’t see him working. This topic is close to my heart because I’ve seen firsthand how knowing God, and his promises have encouraged me in the face of difficult and seemingly unchanging circumstances. I know many of our listeners and viewers struggle with discouragement, and my prayer is that today’s conversation will bring encouragement and hope. Knowing God’s names helps us learn to trust him. When we trust him, it’s easier to experience encouragement in our every day. Psalm 9:10 says, Those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you. Relationships are an area where we can experience extreme discouragement. Personality differences can create division. Unforgiveness leads to rifts. It can feel discouraging to desire a healing in a relationship, but every effort is rejected. We’ve talked about the temptation to judge God’s goodness based on humanity’s failures. If our in-person relationships are broken, and we don’t have a vibrant or growing relationship with God, we grow discouraged because we were made for relationship. Friend, if you’ve found yourself in a place of discouragement—especially when you're facing relationship struggles—you are not alone. As a neuropsychologist, I’ve seen how deeply our relationships impact not only our emotional well-being but also our brain health. God designed our brains for connection. We were created in His image, a God who is relational by nature, and He wired us for fellowship—with Him and with each other. When our relationships are strained, whether due to misunderstanding, unmet expectations, betrayal, or emotional distance, our brains register it as a threat. That triggers our stress response—what we often call “fight, flight, or freeze.” Over time, if that stress continues unchecked, it leads to anxiety, depression, trouble sleeping, and a foggy, overwhelmed mind. Our thought life becomes a battlefield, and discouragement sets in. But here's the hope: God doesn’t leave us to navigate this alone. He sees every tear, hears every unspoken word, and knows the condition of our hearts and minds. Psalm 34:18 reminds us, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Our healing begins when we bring both our brain health and our relational wounds to the Great Physician. Practical steps include tending to your thought life—taking every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5), practicing forgiveness to unburden your heart, and choosing truth over lies. Sometimes that means setting healthy boundaries or seeking wise counsel. And always, it means leaning into the One who offers peace that transcends understanding. Your brain can heal. Your heart can mend. And your relationships can be restored—if not with others, then certainly with the Lord, who is the source of all true comfort and strength. Discouragement may visit, but it doesn’t have to take up permanent residence. Knowing God as Abba leads us to know God as a wonderful Father. (Galatians 4:6) He is the Alpha and Omega – Jesus was in the beginning as the Word of God and he is God’s final word for all eternity. (Revelation 21:6) As Adonai, we recognize his leadership in our life. He is our Lord and Ruler. (Ezekiel 16:8) El Chay, or Living God, reminds us that the entertainments, enticements, and other distractions are not worthy of worship. (Psalm 84:2) El Roi, The God Who Sees, encourages us with God’s mercy, grace, and comfort. We are not invisible to him. (Genesis 16:13) Jehovah-Jireh, The Lord our Provider, tells us God is our provider, and it is the same Hebrew word as Moriah, the region where God sent Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. God may ask us to give something up, and he gives us himself in return, and becomes all we need. (Romans 8:32) Jehovah-Nissi, The Lord Our Banner, paints the picture that we live under God’s banner. It was the name revealed when Moses erected an altar to commemorate the defeat of their enemies. It encourages us that we live under God’s victory. He goes before us and comes behind us to make us victors in life’s battles. (Exodus 17:15) The Lord Our Healer, or Jehovah-Rapha, encourages us because God heals our hearts in the here and now. (Exodus 15:26) The Lord is Peace, Jehovah-Shalom, our security, sufficiency, and serenity. (Judges 6:24) Jehovah-Tsuri, the Lord our Rock, helps us remember God is permanent, faithful, protective, a firm foundation, a hiding place and shelter. (Psalm 18:2) Knowing the names of God gives us insight into his character, which encourages us when we face different situations where we need to rely on a different aspect of God’s character. For example, if someone feels discouraged because of life’s chaos, remembering God is Jehovah Shalom encourages their heart because God is their serenity. God is a covenant making and covenant keeping God. The primary promise of the covenant is the Lord’s promise to “be God to you and to your offspring after you.” The goal of God’s covenant with humankind is to bring salvation, not just to one nation, but to the entire human race. This covenant was eventually fulfilled through Jesus Christ as his followers began to spread the good news about him throughout the world. God made a covenant with Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, the Israelite nation, David, and finally the whole world through the death and resurrection of Jesus. Covenants, or promises, are conditional because they are based on the agreements of two parties. God cannot go back on his promises, but we can refuse the comfort of the promises when we fail to take God at his word and allow doubt to lead us to sin. Because of God’s covenants, we have promises like the promise of his presence. Isaiah 41:10 says, “Do not be afraid for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” (NLT) Deuteronomy 31:8, “‘Do not be afraid of discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” (NLT) Isaiah 43:2, “When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. Joshua 1:19, “This is my command – be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Those are wonderful reminders of God presence. I know I’ve needed to believe them by faith because sometimes what I see, and what I feel don’t match up with what I know to be true. I also cling to the promise of Victory found in: John 16:33, “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” Exodus 14:14, “The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, “Each time he said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, persecutions, and troubles I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” Isaiah 40:29, “He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless.” God promises to guide us: Psalm 32:8, “The Lord says, I will guide along the best pathway for your life. I will advise and watch over you. Psalm 37:23-24, “The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand. Psalm 23:1-2, ‘The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need. He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. Not only does God promise us his presence, victory, and guidance, but he also promises rest, life, peace, and forgiveness: Rest: Matthew 11:28-29, “Then Jesus said, ‘Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Life: John 3:16, “For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” Peace: Isaiah 26:3, ‘You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you.” Forgiveness: 1 John 1:9, “But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleans us from all wickedness.” Our faith grows when we plant our feet on God’s promises. (Psalm 34:18) He is close to the broken hearted and rescues those who are crushed in spirit. (2 Cor. 4:8-9) We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. (Isaiah 54:17) “No weapon that is formed against you will succeed; And you will condemn every tongue that accuses you in judgment. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, And their vindication is from Me,” declares the LORD. I think it starts with looking at the end of Hebrews 11, knowing the stories of those who have gone before us, remembering the past so we can encourage ourselves in the present and build hope for the future. Hebrews 11 opens with this verse: Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. The next several verses list people who lived by faith and received what God promised and those who died without receiving things promised and yet, they are commended for having faith. It’s faith in the promise maker which matters. Looking at our circumstances for “proof” of God keeping his promises leads to disappointment. Remember, faith is the assurance of things hoped for and the conviction of things not seen. Sometimes, we need to cling to other’s people’s stories when our stories are littered with doubt and disappointment. One story which encourages me when I am feeling discouraged is Mary, Martha and Lazarus when Lazarus became ill and died. That story reminds me that things are not always as they seem, but God always has a plan and he sees the end from the beginning. he bible is full of encouragement and doesn’t sugarcoat the difficulties people of faith faced. If Job can lose his entire fortune, family and health and still remain faithful to God—believing him to faithful and true—then I can look beyond my circumstances and see that God is bigger than what’s right in front of me. I can take the magnifying glass off of the things in my life that discourage me and point my magnifying glass to the God who breathes stars and breath in my lungs. I am encouraged by Abraham, when he looked the impossibility of his reality (too old to have children) and yet remained believing that God would fulfill his promise. I’ve been in situations where I couldn’t see a way forward and following Abraham’s example encourages me so much. Knowing God intimately is a great first step toward experiencing biblical encouragement. Understanding his heart and loyalty toward us is key. Second, we can remember to look beyond what we see to what we know to be true. Sometimes feelings follow an act of faith. Take Hebrews 11 to heart. Recommended Resources: Reframing Rejection: How Looking Through a Different Lens Changes Everything By Jessica Van Roekel Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Jessica Van Roekel: Website / Instagram / Facebook For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple Co-Host: Jessica Van Roekel is a worship leader, speaker, and writer who believes that through Jesus, personal histories don’t need to define the present or determine the future. She inspires, encourages, and equips others to look at life through the lenses of hope, trust, and God’s transforming grace. Jessica lives in rural Iowa surrounded by wide open spaces which remind her of God’s expansive love. She loves fun earrings, good coffee, and connecting with others. Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: Jesus told us to go into all the world and share the gospel. Yet many Christians admit they struggle with the confidence to do so. In this episode, my son, Blake, joins me to talk about how to start natural conversations that open the door to sharing your faith with others. Together we share practical ways to make those conversations genuine and meaningful. Quotables from the episode: God tells us to go to all the ends of the earth. And he says that it's his desire that none would perish, not even one. So we have a responsibility to share our Christian faith with others while we still have the time. My faith really became my own when I went off to college. One of the big focuses of our church’s college ministry was evangelism. We were practicing evangelizing towards students who maybe didn't have a worldview set in stone yet. Lots of students who were leaving the home and flying the nest for the first time and looking for an explanation for the world around them. Something to cling to as they looked for hope and as they looked for something to identify themselves with. Since graduating college, handful of years ago, I have moved into a job in the professional workforce where I am around adults who now have a set worldview. And my practice of evangelism has had to change from inviting people who are seeking a worldview to adopt the worldview of Christianity and pursue our loving God and Savior, while they were just looking for a way to identify themselves. And that was an easy invitation to now discussing with strangers and coworkers who have set worldview and who have set opinions on Christianity, which has definitely been a shift. It is important to ask people about themselves and to ask people about their beliefs and even when people aren’t comfortable talking about themselves, people are generally willing to talk about their hobbies and their beliefs about the world and how the world operates and how the world should operate. Efforts to evangelize with people can be difficult because even if it’s true that you were sinful and there’s a solution to sin and we can be forgiven for it, people don’t care about the sin if they don’t think that the God that says these things are sin exists or they don’t think that God has any impact over their life or over what happens after their life and so it’s not until you get people to a place where they recognize this God is real and he does have an impact on our life and what happens after our life that they care about what he says is sin and what he says is wrong. We all start with questions of “who am I?” “Where did I come from?” “Why and I here?” “How am I supposed to treat other people while I’m here?” and “Where am I going?” Two important questions are “what do you mean by that? Why do you believe that?” People don’t care what you have to say, until they know you care. even just asking the question, what do you mean by that, it shows that you have interest, you care about their beliefs and where they came from. Right. And I think that that question is powerful and it serves multiple purposes because when people have legitimate hurts, you don't want to just immediately jump to the Bible and go, well, you shouldn't have been hurt by that because that's not how God is. - Or God works all things together for good. Right, which is true. And that's a helpful response for Christians who you're close to and you know that that will hold some value to them. But for someone who's not a Christian, that response will necessarily feel insensitive. - Yes. - And so to ask, what do you mean by that when you're discussing with someone who has legitimate hurts from the church or legitimate hurts from people who are Christians, further clarifies what their beliefs are, which is helpful for you because you get an understanding of what you're actually responding to. Recommended Resources: Tactics: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions by Greg Koukl Street Smarts: Using Questions to Answer Christianity’s Toughest Challenges by Greg Koukl Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue Social Media Links for Host: For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: Not one of us is exempt from loss. We lose what we expected, what we thought we believed, what we dreamed, our sense of security or identity. We lose friendships. We lose people we love. What do we do with the disruption, the devastation of loss? How do we survive unpredictable grief, ongoing suffering, and the questions about God that happen in the dark nights of our lives? None of us want to be in seasons of sorrow. But sometimes the dark nights of life and faith have strange gifts. On the other side, we find ourselves free from the superficial in our lives. We discover peace and the assurance that we are loved. And we may experience a deeper, more honest relationship with the God we found in the dark. In this episode, I sit down with pastor and author Aubrey Sampson to talk about navigating deep loss and learning to sense God’s presence in the darkest seasons. Quotables from the episode: For me, writing was a prayer, writing was an anchor to God, writing was trying to figure out what in the world was happening when everything felt very out of control. And ultimately, writing did become a lifeline to hope in the midst of something that felt very hopeless. Grief is also very difficult to find language for, to explain, because it can feel like so many jumbled, opposed, and poignant metaphors or events all at once. Grief is like jumping on a cheerless trampoline, a constant disorientation between adrenaline and gravity. Grief is an empty, dilapidating playground, a sad, stoic icon of lost memories and what could have been. Grief is a firestone, full of uncontrollable destruction and rage and simultaneously a mudslide, sloppy, shocking and unstoppable. Grief is a planet, vast, cold, and mysterious, and grief is somehow also a roly-poly pill bug, often unnoticed by others, unarmored and earthy. The questions I was asking felt like almost like I described them in the book as like baby-deer questions. They just felt very vulnerable to me to be asking a God that I have centered my life around questions like, "Are you real? Is your arm too short to heal cancer? Where are you? Are my prayers hitting the ceiling fan or are they actually going to your ears, Lord?" I was asking some questions that I sort of felt like I should not be asking these, not because I felt ashamed. I know God can handle our hard questions. It wasn't that. It was just like, I should be beyond these questions by now. But the grief was so tender, Michelle, and so close. Some of my prayers were like, “how could you? Like, how dare you?” And part of it was her journey. She experienced healing from cancer about a year in and they didn't call it remission yet. But the doctors did say, this is great, cancer -free, the chemo's done what it should, and then about three months later, it came back with a vengeance. So that was some of it too. The whiplash of it made me ask God some really difficult questions. Like, “can you do anything good in this, God? Like, this feels so lacking in goodness, so lacking in hope, so lacking in beauty you are taking a mom away from three young sons you are taking a daughter away from parents a sister away from sister. Can your goodness reach even into this place?” There's just so many situations that prompt those honest gut level questions. Like, I know you God, but I don't understand. I don't understand and God often doesn't answer our why, but he does invite us to be honest with our questions. I mean, I think about so many in the Bible and some of the questions they ask, you know, it'd be easy to say, well, how could they dare? But we ask our own variety of those same questions. And I find it helpful to read those questions in scripture because, you know, you find some comfort in, "Okay, these were historical, ecumenical, faithful followers of God throughout history, and yet they are asking God the same questions. How long, O Lord? How lonely, I feel." Lamentations is full of these, like, "How could you? How dare you? How will you fix this?" And so to be able to know that actually, though it feels opposite of our faith. Actually, this type of posture before God is a very, I think, crucial part of our faith journey. I think God actually allows us and wants us to ask those questions on purpose as part of our spiritual formation. Again, we kind of get into our heads as if this isn't faithful or something's wrong. I'm going backwards spiritually, but then when you read those questions all throughout scripture, you can find some comfort in like, okay, these people are in the Bible, right? They were faithful followers of God. They're asking the same questions I'm asking. Yeah, God used them as examples for us. That's it. To teach us, to encourage us. One thing that you want as a Christian, even in your darkest hours, is for God to come for you with a sense of comfort. Holy Spirit provides you peace. Holy Spirit provides you a sense that God is with you. God sees you. God is around you. And what I found in my season of grief was that was not occurring. I could not sense God with me. I couldn't hear God speaking to me. I could not “connect with God.” I was just like, “God, where are you? Like, I can't even sense your spirit comforting me and I need you more than ever.” And I began because of the Lord's kindness, I was meeting with a spiritual director at the time. And I began to read about a very common spiritual experience again throughout history, again throughout the Bible, called the Dark Night of the Soul. Which, again, we tend to use it a little generically just to me, and I'm going through a hard time, that's a Dark Night of the Soul. A dark night of the soul was coined by St. John of the Cross right after the Spanish Inquisition. And what he talked about was the very thing I'm talking about, when you cannot sense God answering your prayers, when you cannot sense God's nearness, when you cannot see what God is doing, that sense of God's quote "absence" is actually what it means to walk through a dark night of the soul. That can happen in grief, it can happen in loss, it can happen just in life, midlife crisis, it can happen. And what we find in dark nights of the soul is something that We know to be true, God never leaves us nor forsakes us. But for some reason, God does tend to pull back that "felt sense of His presence." And part of what God is doing, we can't all understand everything God is doing, but part of what God is doing is teaching us that our faith is not just about a feeling. Our faith is about the object of our faith, Jesus. And so, whether we're "feeling" the presence of God or not, can we choose to have faith that says He is true, His character is true, He is steadfast, I will keep believing, I will keep leaning in, I will keep being faithful even when I can't "feel" Him. And there's something mysterious and explosive and actually good that we find in dark nights of the soul even though it's often quite painful and confusing. Michelle, it is hard to sort of find yourself on the grief map when you're in it, especially when it's fresh. And so sometimes you don't know is where I'm at normal, okay, should I be farther along than I am. And the hard part is, depending on the context texture from, often people want you to be further along than you actually are. And you're just not, I mean, it just until you've walked through grief, you, you don't know, no, no, no, I can't move faster than I can move. I am right where I am. And that's as far as I can go. I wrote about these, these three different moments in darkness to try to at least help readers, grievers, someone walking through any type of loss or transition to sort of go, "Okay, I might find myself here." And also, to say any of those places are right where you're supposed to be. God is not rushing you past the finish line of pain. Some of us, I think, like I said, rush past it or pretend it isn't happening, but just to go, "Okay, God, things are changing. This is a new season. I don't necessarily like it. I don't really enjoy why I'm here, but I'm going to trust you've got some discoveries for me. And so, I'm going to keep open to whatever you're doing as the night falls. And then the next phase, midnight, I mean, this is where I wrote about my best friend's jet death and just everything changing. I mean, it is just the onslaught of grief that you feel physically, you feel emotionally you experience spiritually it's in your body it's in your mind it's you know you know this from the mental health world your brain is flat you can't really function the way that you used to function and I wanted to put some language for that again just to say it is normal and your only job is to be gentle with yourself at your spiritual midnight your emotional midnight like just Be kind to yourself. Be kind to yourself. I think we want to learn the lesson and we want to build the muscles and we want to build resilience. We want to grow in our depth and our meaning. That will come, but it is okay to be right where you are for as long as you need to be, especially in that initial onslaught of grief. We write a lot about that in the section on midnight. And then the last section, when I was very careful not to do, Michelle, and I think you'll appreciate this as one who talks about her own depression. I didn't want to say, "But the sun is coming. Sunrise is on its way." I did not want to write another book about, like, quote, "sunny spirituality," because that's not always what healing is. Healing isn't always darkness to light. Sometimes healing is this gradual progression of, "Oh, I see a little glimmer of hope here." Okay, here's some light coming through. I think so often we celebrate like the mountaintop, or the victory and we forget to celebrate what a courageous thing it is to step out in community again after loss or try something new after loss or frankly put pants on and go to Target after loss like those are victories. And so, I wanted to write and sort of normalize that healing can look dramatic. And in a moment, healing can also be very slow. And isn't, you know, isn't always just your sun. Sometimes it's like, you know, here's some stars in your darkness, that's healing too. In one sense, I think you do the things you don't do, meaning you rest Sabbath if you're not someone who has done that before, try to sleep if you can. I think this is a time to take up spiritual practices of slowness, stillness, silence, listening. I guess what I'm trying to say is there's not a lot you have to do. And especially early on in the dark night of the soul. And I said this before I will say it again and again and again, be gentle with yourself. I mean, you know, any listener who or view or who has been through loss knows, you often can't even remember like what shampoo is or how to shampoo your hair, let alone want to, or want to, that's a very good point, or even have the desire to. So I think a thing you do is be gentle with yourself Loss, grief, darkness can be very isolating. And so I think it is so important that you allow yourself intentionally to reach out to the safe people in your life. That doesn't have to be everybody. You don't have to be best friends with everyone who wants to come around you or, but who are the safe, trusted people that you can say, I can't pray right now, so I need you to pray for me. I am hurting right now. I need somebody just to know. I think the community piece is so important. We are not meant to do the faith journey alone. We're not meant to do grief alone. We're not meant to do darkness alone. We need some traveling companions. And again, you get to choose who those people are. There are some people for some reason that it just can't go with you in dark places and that's okay. But if you have some safe people that can't, you know, let them be a lifeline to you. It's hard in grief because people will often very well meaning ask you, what can I do for you? What do you need? And you just don't have the wherewithal to do it. So, on the flip side, I would say if you are walking with someone who's in a dark season, don't even ask, just say, I've sent you a Chipotle gift card, it's going to arrive in your mail, Uber Eats, whatever it is. I've sent you a gift card to any service, use it when you need to. I think some of that proactive approach for someone who's walking through darkness is really helpful too. Oh, for - Sure, because it's almost like the brain fog and the decision fatigue is so great that it's too hard to think about what I could ask someone else to do. Plus, if you've just lost having to ask someone for help, you risk rejection, which is another form of loss. So, what about the person who feels like their faith is being shaken by their dark night? What would you say to that person? Because we know the enemy is crafty and he seeks to steal, kill and destroy and he watches so intently. So, he knows when we're at our weakest point, so how do So how do we fight back against that? - Yeah, I think that is so good because what you don't want to do is get in a mindset where you are thinking God caused this pain in my life. God is not the author of pain, author of evil. God in Jesus conquered death. So those things are not from God. But what we and trust is that God is in them, redeeming them, making all things new. I think it's important to know this again, this is a normal part of your spiritual walk. I think sometimes again, we can think, the scaffolding of my faith is being shaken, that's bad, that's bad, that's bad. But sometimes to be disillusioned spiritually is a really good healthy thing because you're not living an illusion anymore. And so, some of the things that you have clung to that are false ideas about God, about faith, God is actually shaking those up on purpose. And that's something good he does in darkness is you find, you know, your faith is a little more explosive, a little more intimate, because you've embraced mystery and God's bigness and the boxes that you put God in suddenly God is breaking out of all of that is very good all of that is part of spiritual formation it can feel like it's you're going backwards but again if you can keep leaning in staying connected to God you find on the other side of that a greater intimacy with God however what you just talked about the spiritual attack that can come. I do think we have to be wise about this. I have a good friend who talks about these are the moments when you just have to contend for your faith. Like Jesus, I am not going anywhere. I am putting my anchor of faith in the ground. I am believing that you are good. I am believing that you do good. Any light otherwise is from the enemy, I plead the blood of Jesus over it and I will not walk in it. And so that's a hard muscle when you are depressed, dark, grieving. It's hard to kind of know what's spiritual attack, what's, you know, my just mental state is not okay, what is just, I'm sad, right? And so, I do think this going back to community where it's so helpful to have your other friends pray for you and you don't have to wherewithal to do it yourself. And to say, okay, Lord, I hate everything about this, but you have called yourself faithful and so I'm going to believe you are faithful. I think there's some work we have to do, Michelle, like to remember in the darkness what we knew in the light, remember in the desert what we knew in the garden seasons of our lives, remember in the valley what we knew on the mountaintop, like there is some work of recall, okay. God has been good to me, God has been good throughout history, God's character is true, I will choose to believe that even though this is like the fight of my life right now, and God honors that kind of faith and that kind of wrestle, he really does. And I appreciate what you're saying about remembering what we knew in the light and taking that into those dark places. I think it's also so important for us to remember, just as you said, God doesn't cause pain. He doesn't cause hardship. But God is always concerned with us growing. I love to garden. I'm a very impatient gardener, but I love to garden. But what it has taught me is that the most crucial growth happens below the soil in the dark place. And while none of us wants to go through pain and suffering, if we can appreciate that God is in that dark place and cultivating something good, that's a hope line that we can hold on to when it doesn't feel good. Think about Jesus in the garden. That was a dark place. His friends wouldn't even stay awake, right? And yet it was a good thing that came out of it because even though he was so honest and I love his honesty, Father, if there is any other way that this cup could pass from me, please, please do it, but ultimately, I want your will, not mine. And I think that's so important for us to remember that our savior of the world went through that dark night. Thankfully God is so patient with us. - Yes. - Oh, so patient with us. And I began to sense God sort of lovingly drawing me back to the word, but not for performance, not for study, not for output, not even for preparation. Just, "Hey, you're my daughter. Why don't you just come and read one song, read one, one little verse?" And I began in my mind to call it inchworm Bible reading where I just would read one song and then I would read it again. And then the next day read it again. And I was not accomplishing anything deeply spiritual, very profound. But there was something healing. And it won the words of the Psalms and this beautiful book of prayers and poems and laments for the people of God. And a lot of them are about pain and suffering. So that was one to find language for what I was walking through. But also, it was like, I felt like, again, God just let me be a human being and not a human doing. And I just got to sit in his presence. And it didn't matter how much I accomplished, it didn't matter that I made some beautiful social media post, wrote a sermon based on the reading, it was just about connecting with the father. And the Lord was again, very patient with me. And in time, I just began to sense all of that was God kind of reminding me, “I'm here, I'm still here. There's a rope tethering you to me. I am not going to let you go." And so that inchworm Bible reading, as silly as it sounds, became very profound. I feel like God found me again in that. It's such a profound act of worship and faith to run to God with those things because he would rather us come to him with that type of anger and raw questions and authenticity than walk away in apathy. And so whatever you can do, whether it's journaling, praying aloud in your car, writing, singing, painting, Whatever it is to give those heart things to the Lord is in itself an act of worship and connection and a tool. When we go through such incredibly painful times, like the dark night of the soul that we talked about before the break, it's natural in our humanness to ask, why did this happen? Those questions are the right questions to be asking. Those are the questions that God loves to hear. And so, I would invite you to ask those questions to God and wait as long as it takes for God to answer. You do not give up. But I would also say this, hope is coming, light is coming. The dark night does not say dark forever. Grief stays for a very long time, but it changes shape. I grieve my best friend Jen differently. We just celebrated her 45th birthday. I grieve her differently on her 45th birthday than I did two years ago. I still miss her deeply. The grief is different. I am different. The way I experience grief is different. I've had new losses since Jen and those are different. And so, it is okay to also remind yourself that hope is coming. You can continue to choose to hope even when you feel hopeless, can ask other people to hold that for you and you can't hold it yourself. I think, again, that's a beautiful part of the Christian faith is it's not meant to be individual; it's meant to be collective and communal. And so, Michelle, I can borrow your hope and your faith when I don't have any and you can borrow mine when you don't have any and all of those things the Lord will use to bring you back to a place of hope and delight and goodness and even joy again in His presence with other people and hope for the future. What you're walking through is normal. It is not antithetical to your faith, but part of the faith journey. I want to tell you to keep leaning into Jesus because he is faithful and true. And I would also, I think about the words of Psalm 40:40 where David says I'm at the bottom of my pit and what I found Lord is that you lifted me out and I kind of referred to this subtly a minute ago but there is that spiritual tether connecting you to God if you're a person in Jesus and God is not going to let you stay in your pit the rest of your life God is not going to you alone in your pit. And in fact, what's so beautiful about Jesus in his suffering, he crawls down in our pits with us, does not leave us alone in them. And so you have a friend in suffering who is actually in it with you, but outside of it able to redeem it and able to make something beautiful and new in the situation that seems so painful now. I just want to remind you that the temptation is great to pull away from God and from others especially when we've just gone through a period of loss, but I'm encouraging you consistent With God's admonition that you continue to cry out to him be honest with him ask the types of questions that Aubrey shared that she asked. There's no shame in that and God is big enough to handle that. Scripture References: Psalm 88:12 “Are your wonders known in the place of darkness, or your righteous deeds in the land of oblivion?” Psalm 88:1 “Lord, you are the God who saves me; day and night I cry out to you.” Recommended Resources: What We Find in the Dark: Loss, Hope, and God’s Presence in Grief by Aubrey Sampson Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Aubrey Sampson: Website / Facebook / Instagram For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple Guest: Aubrey Sampson (MA, evangelism and leadership) coplanted and is on staff at Renewal Church, a multiethnic congregation in Chicagoland. She is an author a coach with Propel Women Cohorts and the cohost of The Nothing is Wasted Podcast. She is passionate about helping hurting Christians find God’s presence in their pain. She and her husband, Kevin, and their three hilarious sons live, minister, and play in the Chicagoland area. Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: Marriage is a commitment borne on the wings of love that embraces the whole person, warts and all…for better, for worse; for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. But at a time when commitment levels are low and failure rates are high, we need to be pro-active in protecting our marriages, and looking at them from a biblically-based, hope-filled perspective. Dr. Gary Lovejoy and I talk about the keys to long-term marital success and happiness. Quotables from the episode: Every relationship has its unique issues, but there are identifiable patterns that predict the most likely outcomes in the struggle to make a good life together. You say that aggressiveness and passivity are both a cover for fear. What do you mean? Well, because when we're fearful we have different possible reactions. Sometimes when we're fearful we lash out because we think that aggression will protect us. And this is particularly true for men, And it's also true for women too, but they'll lash out in various ways of being angry. Sometimes sadly enough, it can even lead to physical, espousal abuse. And all they may, in their fear, may withdraw. They just say, "I'm afraid to talk, I'm afraid to share, I'm afraid to open." Sometimes they come from families where they were very close families. No one talked about anything. All issues and conflicts were simply buried. And that's, so that becomes their M.O. Humility is often misunderstood. I look at humility in terms of the ability to understand who we are and who God is and the difference between the two, and that there is an inexplicable relationship between humility and self -esteem. People who have low self -esteem, we think, oh, they're humble. You know, they're always putting themselves down. That's not humility. Actually, humility requires self-esteem. The two are so closely interact-related. What Paul was saying is that the husband must be humble enough to serve his wife and to love her and the wife is doing turns serve her husband and By serving loving, loving and serving are two sides and same point if you love them. You'll want to serve them if you sir and as you serve them you love them more and so there's a reciprocity there that's definition of humility and it's essential for a good strong marriage, because if you don't serve one another, you don't respect each other. And if you don't respect each other, you don't have the kind of intimacy that can otherwise be possible. You talk about the family as being, I love this term, incubator of bad habits. What do you mean by that? Well, what we learn in how to resolve conflict is we watch how it's done in home. The only models we have are the ones that we're at home. We don't live with anybody else. We just live with our parents and our family. And if what goes on at home is mom and dad don't talk to each other, or they have arguments and never resolve them, or they yell at each other constantly, or they withdraw, then dad draws, or mom withdraws in the cold atmosphere, and that's how they handle every conflict, and then eventually wears off, and then the next day, or it's OK, that's how they learn to resolve conflict. And so when they go into their marriages, they know nothing different. And so they walk in, and they're handling conflict the way their family always is. So, it's fair to say then transparency is the hallmark of a good marriage? Absolutely. If we're not transparent, there's no way we can deal with the issues. You know, the issues don't go away simply by ignoring them. And a lot of people handle them that way, they just hope they'll go away and they ignore them. But conflict is not a bad thing. We think conflict, oh, that's a bad thing, but I don't view it as bad a thing. I view it as opportunities for growth. Because if we all, there are sometimes couples who succeed, actually succeed in becoming clones of each other, because they both fear conflict. So they cover over their differences and they come in and their whole marriage is a pretense. And it's not that satisfying. The first thing that's important in resolving conflict is to come at it, not from an accusation point of view, but say, but talking about how can we make things better. There's some things that I'm not sure how to handle well, and so I thought if we can sit down and talk about it, that maybe we can figure out a better way to handle it. Now it's a "we" thing, not a "you" thing. Once you make it "you" thing, it's an accusation. If it's a "we" thing, then, and in every way, you say, well, it's not, I'm not at fault. My part of my, my spouse is at fault. You say, no, in every conflict, each person is doing something wrong. Even if you think you are the one who is the victim, it's how you respond as a victim that may be part of the problem. So, so anytime I was working, when I worked with couples, I always talked about how they can digest each other's roles and, and, And how they can see that they have some things to do to grow in this relationship just as much as their partner does. So it’s a reciprocal thing. Marriage is a commitment borne on the wings of love that embraces the whole person, warts and all. Protecting your marriage from the assaults on its integrity and loyalty is paramount to preserving it. Many couples start marriage with false expectation, weak commitment, or past wounds – all that eventually come to the surface when relationships face challenges. It’s incumbent upon every couple to periodically assess the current state of their marriage to determine if there are any ways they relate to each other that are perceived to be disrespectful or that draw down the level of trust in one another. The unexamined life is simply not an option if you want a satisfying marriage. Contemporary marriages fail at close to 50%. For those who marry again, second marriages fail at 67% and third marriages at 73%. Most marriages die from apathy. Most of us don’t learn from failure the first time around. Divorce is trifling with God’s work…the truth is you will never have a union between two perfect people. Recommended Resources: Marriages in the Bible: What Do They Tell Us? By Gary H. Lovejoy, Ph.D. Light in the Darkness: Finding Hope in the Shadow of Depression By Gary H. Lovejoy, Ph.D. 8 Things Every Woman Should Know About Depression By Gary H. Lovejoy, Ph.D. Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Dr. Gary Lovejoy: Website For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple Guest: Dr. Gary Lovejoy earned his doctorate from United States International University. He was in private practice in professional counseling for over 40 years, specializing in marriage counseling and in the treatment of anxiety disorders and depression. He is the author of Light in the Darkness: Finding Hope in the Shadow of Depression and 8 Things Every Woman Should Know About Depression. Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: When God plants a dream in your heart, the journey to seeing it fulfilled can be filled with challenges and delays. In this Sacred Scar Story, Grace Fox shares how she held onto the calling God gave her through years when opportunities seemed out of reach. She opens up about the lessons learned in the waiting, the perseverance it built, and the deep assurance that God’s timing is always perfect. If He has given you a dream, this conversation will encourage you to trust Him to bring it to pass. Quotables from the episode: My husband and I worked at a year-round Christian camp for eleven years, and God had made that abundantly clear that we were supposed to be there. The director of that camp seemed to struggle with women who demonstrated leadership qualities. That was where I wrote my first three or four books, and I was a speaker but this director didn’t give me any opportunity to use these gifts. I had so much shame because others noticed that I was a speaker and yet wasn’t being given the opportunity, and when they would ask why I wasn’t being used right there where I worked, I had no answers for that. I lived with a deep sadness within my heart. I lived with a sense of rejection, and a sense of “what’s wrong with me? There must be something wrong with me.” Because I didn’t have the opportunity to practice the gifts that I thought God had given me, I began to question if I misheard God. It was almost like Jesus not being able to heal in his own hometown. One morning during my quiet time, I prayed, “If this is of you, then will you do something with it? Will you use it? But if this is not of you, take away the desire because I don’t want to spend any more energy or negative emotions on this, wishing I could do this but not having the opportunity.” At 7:00 that morning, I received a call from a woman about 40 miles away asking me to speak at her women’s event. It was like God saying, “Grace, I heard your cry. I see you in your pain and I just want to assure you, it’s not all in your head. You do have this gifting, and I’m going to bring it about in my time.” And He did, eventually. All of a sudden, doors started opening for speaking engagements. So, I began flying out of there to speak to groups who invited me to come when I wasn’t being asked to speak in my own place. During that time, while I was waiting for that to come about, I cleaned a lot of toilets, scrubbed a lot of pots and pans, and baked a lot of birthday cakes for kids who came to camp or counselors that were there during the spring and summer. I really developed a lot of humility during that time and patience in waiting for God to bring my dream to fulfillment. When the camp director left and another director assumed the position, who had been on staff longer than we had been there, he approached me and said, “Grace, I need a speaker for a women’s event coming up and I think you’ve waited long enough. Will you do it?” There have been a couple other camp directors since then, since we left, and they have all invited me back to speak at my old stomping grounds. I learned from that that if God plants a dream in your heart, you need to not rush ahead, trust in God’s timing because he will bring it to pass but there is a lot to learn in the journey to getting there. I think God needed me to learn perseverance because what I do now requires perseverance too. I can’t do this in my own strength. I don’t want to try to do this in my own strength—it’s done in His strength. It’s also given me an empathy for other women who are younger than myself, but they also feel like God has put a dream in their heart but wonder why it isn’t happening. I get to share with them, “Be patient. Don’t give up. Because if God is in this, He will bring it to pass. It’s the lessons learned along the way that really matter. It’s the character we learn in those hard places.” If God is in it, don’t quit until He says so! Persevere and learn what you can along the way. Scripture References: Mark 6:4-5 “Then Jesus said to them, ‘Only in his hometown, among his relatives, and in his own household is a prophet without honor.’ So He could not perform any miracles there” Luke 16:10 NLT “If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones.” James 5:11 NIV “As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.” Recommended Resources: Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Grace Fox: Website / Facebook / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple Guest: Grace Fox is the award-winning author of 14 books including her latest release Names of God: Living Unafraid. She’s a member of the First 5 Bible study writing team for Proverbs 31 Ministries, co-hosts the podcast “Your Daily Bible Verse,” and co-directs International Messengers Canada—a missionary sending agency with 300 staff serving in 30 countries. She and her husband live fulltime aboard a sailboat near Vancouver, British Columbia. Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: Being busy is a drug for most people. We believe that busyness is a badge of honor, that constant activity is good, and that productivity (whatever that means), makes us worthwhile. People like to talk about being busy all the time, but oftentimes their relationships suffer. So often we sleepwalk through our days, but there is a tremendous gift in practicing awareness in this present moment. In a culture that gives accolades for business and achievement, we run the risk of forgetting how to be present. Scripture reminds us to “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10) but how often do we willingly slow down? My guest, Courtney Ellis and I talk about how to be present in the moment and reap the benefits. Quotables from the episode: What would it look like to love my actual neighbors? What would it look like to press into this particular church? What would it look like to make our kids' schools our schools and really put our feet on the ground and help in all the ways that we can? And so this book came out of that desire that my husband and I had and that commitment we made before God to really try to live into the ministry of stability as long as he called us to. That's a big change after moving six times in six years. It is, it is. You learn some bad habits when you move a lot. Friends in the military, friends who have to move a lot and they say, yeah, you pick up some bad habits. So, we had to unlearn a lot of bad habits. You talk about leaning in and being present. So, what are some practical ways that we can choose to be present in the moment? And then what are some of the benefits? There are so many small, beautiful ways we can choose to be present. Often the easiest one is just to keep your phone in your pocket or your purse because it's fascinating. You'll be at the grocery store, and you see people standing in line and you can time it. People will stand in line patiently for about 30 seconds and then the hand goes down and the phone is out. And it's not that they're being impatient, but might as well use the time to do the word or scroll Facebook or whatever it is. And so, part of this, practicing this attentiveness toward God and being present in the moment is simply resisting that urge to do the easiest thing which is to pull out technology and distract ourselves. Sit near a window and just take a few minutes and observe what you see and it's almost like your soul is the shaken up snow globe and as you sit all of that snow starts to settle and you may hear from God, you may hear things in your own heart that you've been kind of stuffing down and as you're present to yourself, present to what you see around you, present to the Lord, beautiful things can happen. When we can make decisions in our lives ahead of time and leave them closed, it opens up our minds to new possibilities. It gives us new energy. And that's the difference between kind of leaving or living poised to leave and living planning to stay. And God may call us to go tomorrow, but today, if that decision is closed, we have all of these possibilities in front of us that we can turn our full attention to without already being fatigued. You refer to limits as a God -given grace. What do you mean by that? I don't like it. I'm going to start with that. I don't either. Talk about that for a minute. Yes. I want to be infinite. I want to keep going. I want to keep running. But limits ultimately are a grace and they're a reminder to us of our creatureliness that we are part of God's creation. We are not God. Even small things like coming to the end of a day and needing to go to sleep is a reminder of the limits God has set in our days, in our world, in our life. Multiple times a day we have to stop and eat. And that's an intentional creation of God. God could have created us to not need food. God could have created us to eat once a year. But these intentional checks and balances in our lives are an opportunity to practice dependence on God, to understand that our finitude is not burden, but it's grace, even if we are not always able to receive it in that way. Why do you call yourself an achievement addict and what does this have to do with learning to take a Sabbath rest? Yes, I would imagine I'm talking to another achievement addict here on the show. It takes one to know one. Yeah, I, especially early on in my life, that was where I would receive a lot of praise and adulation. And so I really grew into this. I am what I do. And if I've done enough in a day, I can feel good about myself, you know, when my husband and I compare notes at the end of the day and he'll say, "How was your day?" I still will most often jump to, "Well, I got a lot done and I feel really good about that." It's like, "Do you? Okay, let's talk about that. And there's nothing wrong with achievement, there's nothing wrong with being a driven person. But where you encounter some difficulty is when that becomes your identity. So, on a day where I'm ill, on a day where, you know, the kids didn't cooperate, on a day where something unexpected got thrown on my plate ministry -wise, does that mean I'm less of a person because I didn't check off my list? No, it doesn't. It means that God is the God of interruptions and God is the God of limitations. There's great grace in realizing that we are, you know, the old cliche, we're human beings, we're not human doings. and God has created us that way out of love and care and grace so we can rest at the end of the day even while leaving things undone. And that is the message of Sabbath is that once-a-week God commands doesn't invite doesn't suggest God commands that we rest from our labors and not because everything is done not because everything is polished and finished. And I love what Eugene Peterson, wonderful Presbyterian author has to say about Sabbath, which is that if you work with your mind, you should Sabbath with your hands. So, there should be worship, but also, you know, often my husband is out in the garden on Sabbath because that allows his mind to rest. But if you work with your hands, you should Sabbath with your mind. Busyness keeps us from stability and stability is what healthy people and a healthy society desperately needs. The United States has traditionally been one of the most mobile countries in the world with the average American moving about eleven times in their lifetimes. By contrast, Europeans move about four times. Busyness and the transitory nature of our lives and jobs means fewer deep connections with others. Fostering community is some of the toughest, most painful work we engage in. Being present means that we deliberately choose stability. In a world marked by transience, envy, and rootlessness, committing to stay put is a radical, unusual act. Transience threatens to dull our awareness of God. While stability may not always be our choice (like with a job relocation), it is something to be sought after. Remembering to pay attention can be the trickiest spiritual practice of all. Being present is about choices: setting aside time to rest (Sabbath) but also setting aside distractions (like technology). Sabbath is not a gift to you because you've achieved enough. It's actually a gift so that you will rest from your achievement and that's hard. In fact, you write remembering to pay attention can be the trickiest spiritual practice of to hack that a little think in many ways, those are the two primary spiritual disciplines, but what I'm learning is the older I get that the fundamental spiritual practice for all of us is learning to pay attention, to pay attention to God, to pay attention to our neighbor, to pay attention to what God is stirring up in our own souls, to pay attention to what God's stirring up in our broader culture. A lot of it comes back to those practices of noticing and being present with people. This is what Jesus did so well. Jesus was present with people who were very different than he was, people who had been wearing t -shirts with slogans that he did not agree with. And he did that by simply being present with people, by sharing meals with them, by having conversations, by noticing, he meets the woman at the well and through the power of the Holy Spirit, he knows things about her that we wouldn't have known, but we can notice, and we can love as Jesus loved. And so in building community, some of the best tools we have are not going on 100 miles an hour so we can pause at the mailbox and say, "Hey, how was your day?" So we can notice the person in the grocery store check-out line. So, it's slowing down and then practicing that same attentiveness, that spiritual practice of noticing with people. A big percentage of our listeners and viewers are dealing with pain, whether it's physical pain, it's emotional pain, relational pain, or even spiritual pain. So how can we learn to find God's presence in the present moment in the midst of our pain? What a good question. I think the first thing I'd say is sometimes you need to escape the pain a little bit and that's okay. Sometimes what you need are six episodes of the Great British Baking Show and God honors that and God blesses that. God doesn't always force us to face down our pain every minute of every day. So, it's kind of two feet of walking, we face it and then we take a breather, we take a rest, we take a nap. But I think the surprising thing, and we read this so often throughout the journey of Scripture, is that in those most painful moments, we find an intimacy with God that we don't find any other time. I would want to leave them with the gentle permission to slow down, to look up and look around, and to see what grace, God has strewn right in your path, right in front of you. It's easy to look for greener pastures. It's easy to lean into the dissatisfaction that our culture showcases all around us, but truly God has strewn our world with such delight. We slow down and start to look up. It's ours for the taking if we will slow down and be present in the moment. Scripture References: Matthew 5:34 We are warned not to “be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.” Matthew 24:42-44 “… keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him.” Jeremiah 29:7 “Seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper.” Recommended Resources: Present: The Gift of Being All In, Right Where You Are by Courtney Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Courtney Ellis: Website / Facebook / Instagram / X For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple Guest: After six moves in as many years, Courtney Ellis found herself longing for the stability of one place. Her new book Present: The Gift of Being All In, Right Where You Are explores God’s call to be present, cultivating community and contentment right where we are. Courtney is a graduate of Wheaton College and Princeton Seminary. She trained to be an English lit professor before following God’s call to full-time ministry. She and her husband, Daryl, have three children and live in southern California where they pastor. Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: Today, we’re tackling an issue that affects millions of people: loneliness. In a world that’s more connected than ever through technology, many of us still feel isolated and unseen. Studies show that loneliness has become a public health crisis, impacting our mental, emotional, and even physical well-being. According to a recent study, 1 in 3 adults reports feeling severely lonely. The CDC links social isolation and loneliness to depression, anxiety, Type 2 diabetes, heart disease, stroke, dementia, and more. Loneliness has the same impact on mortality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. But there’s good news: loneliness isn’t the end of the story. God created us for connection, and by taking intentional steps, we can build meaningful relationships that bring hope, healing, and joy. Stay tuned as Becky Harling and I unpack practical tips and faith-based solutions to combat the epidemic of loneliness and rediscover the power of authentic connection. Quotables from the episode: According to a recent study, 1 in 3 adults reports feeling severely lonely. The CDC links social isolation and loneliness to depression, anxiety, Type 2 diabetes, heart disease, stroke, dementia, and more. Loneliness has the same impact on mortality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Loneliness is feeling disconnected. You could be in a crowded room with lots of people. It doesn’t mean that you don’t have people around you, you just don’t feel connected to those people, and so you can feel isolated even in a crowd. Busyness is one of the chief problems that have contributed to our society’s deep loneliness. People are busier today than they’ve ever been. We’re always off to the next appointment, the next thing, the next activity, and as a result we don’t know our neighbors. We don’t have time for friends. We’re on this continual treadmill that has taken over our lives and it’s become detrimental to us and yet we seem to wear busyness as a badge of honor. We have lost the ability to have meaningful conversations with people. We’ve lost the curiosity element where like every single person is an amazing creature designed in the image of God. I want to be curious and know who they are. I want to know what’s important to them and why it’s important to them and those conversations really build the deeper connections. The first small step is to reach out to somebody that you know and say either let’s go to coffee, because I want to know you better. Better yet, invite them into your home or coffee. For the listeners who may feel a little afraid, my encouragement is to do it afraid. Just do it afraid, but learn to reach out to people. When you bring humility into a friendship, not only are you modeling the behavior that Jesus taught us. Paul reminds us, have this attitude in yourself, which was also in Christ Jesus. He was humble, even though he existed in the form of God, he didn’t clamor after that. Instead, he took on the form of a bond servant. When you come to a relationship with humility, it levels the playing field, and you allow the other friend to feel safe. We are never more like the enemy than when we’re criticizing somebody because the enemy is the accuser of the brethren and so to be like Jesus we’re not going to stand around and accuse people because he didn’t do that….so offer compassion. When you’re tempted to take offense, or when you already have, I like to ask myself a few questions. How is it helping me to take offense? Usually it doesn't help me, it hurts me, right? How, what do I need to take responsibility for here? You know, what's the meaning I'm making in my head? We all tell ourselves stories, right? And so when we're tempted to take offense, what happens is we sell ourselves a story. You know, like maybe this person is so rude to me or they don't honor my space or they don't value my opinions. And it's likely not any of those things, you know, first of all, people might not even really be thinking about you. And you know, we tend to think, what is she thinking? What are they thinking? Well, they're not thinking about you. They're thinking about their own problems. So, you know, offer people grace, don't get offended so easily. If you’re trying to keep up an image, some kind of persona that you’re projecting to the world, that’s a burden. And it’s going to weigh you down. Why not just be vulnerable? Be yourself. Choose who you’re going to be vulnerable with. If you have good friends, dare to be vulnerable if you want the friendship to go deeper. That’s one of the benefits of cultivating these deeper connections is the opportunity to have such a degree of vulnerability that you can pray for them, that you can ask them for prayer. I think prayer is one of the most vulnerable things that we can do. We're vulnerable before our Lord, but then when we ask for prayer, we're vulnerable before the one that we've asked for prayer from, and when they ask us for prayer. That's about the most vulnerable that you can get with someone. But it does foster that connection. We have to take a risk. If you are feeling lonely today, I want to talk directly to you. Pretend that we're just sitting across the table having coffee. I want you to know that you are never really alone because Jesus is the one who said, "I will never leave you. I will never forsake you." If you're a widow, you are never alone. Jesus is with you. If you're isolated in a new community, you are never alone. Jesus is with you. And as you cultivate your friendship with Jesus and you grow more secure in His love, it's going to give you the confidence then to let that love flow out to others. The first thing for you is to cultivate that deep friendship with Jesus. Go to him in prayer, tell him everything, you know, go to the word of God, listen to worship music, take a walk and just talk with Jesus. But cultivate that friendship first and foremost. Scripture References: Proverbs 27:17 "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." Hebrews 10:25 “And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.” Recommended Resources: Cultivating Deeper Connections in a Lonely World by Becky Harling How to Listen So People Will Talk by Becky Harling How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk by Becky Harling Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Becky Harling: Website / Podcast / Instagram / Facebook / LinkedIn / X For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple Guest: Becky Harling has a degree in Biblical Literature and is a speaker and Bible teacher. The host of The Connected Mom podcast, Becky has a passion for helping women find hope, healing, freedom, and life transformation through Jesus Christ. She is the author of many books and Bible studies, including her recent release, Cultivating Deeper Connections in a Lonely World. Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: If you’ve ever put off a task, knowing it needs to get done, but found yourself scrolling social media, reorganizing your closet, or doing anything but the thing you should be doing, this episode is for you. But here’s the twist: we’re not just talking about procrastination from a behavioral standpoint. Today, we’re diving into the neuroscience behind procrastination: what’s happening in your brain when you delay and how understanding this can help you overcome it. Quotables from the episode: Procrastination is the act of delaying or postponing tasks, especially those that are important or time-sensitive. Most of us associate it with laziness or poor time management, but it’s actually far more complex. When we procrastinate, we disrupt that God-ordained rhythm, often leading to stress, guilt, and missed opportunities. Procrastination isn’t just a matter of willpower; it’s a battle within your brain. Specifically, it’s a tug-of-war between two parts of your brain: the limbic system and the prefrontal cortex. When we procrastinate, the limbic system overrides the prefrontal cortex. It’s almost like a toddler throwing a tantrum and the parent giving in. But here’s the good news: the more we understand this process, the better equipped we are to address it. There are several reasons why we procrastinate: fear of failure, perfectionism, lack of clarity, immediate gratification, pride. Strategies to overcome procrastination: break tasks into smaller steps, set specific, time-limited goals, use rewards wisely, challenge negative thinking, invite God into your work, practice self-compassion. Friend, if you’ve been struggling with procrastination, I want you to know there’s hope. You’re not alone, and you’re not stuck. God designed your brain with incredible potential, and by understanding how it works, you can make choices that align with His purposes for your life. Procrastination isn’t just about avoiding tasks; it’s often about avoiding discomfort. But growth happens when we lean into that discomfort with faith, knowing God equips us for every good work. Scripture References: Ecclesiastes 3:1 that ‘there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.’ Proverbs 14:23 reminds us, ‘All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.’ God calls us to diligent stewardship of our time and gifts, but understanding these barriers helps us address them with grace.” Colossians 3:23 encourages us to ‘work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.’ Recommended Resources: Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue Social Media Links for Host: For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.