Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast

Episode Summary: In this episode, Dr. Vickie Petz Kasper shares her powerful story of how a rare neuromuscular disorder abruptly ended her 20-year career as an OB/GYN, transforming her life in an instant. From delivering thousands of babies to becoming a patient herself, Vickie opens up about the pain of losing her identity as a doctor and battling bitterness. Yet, in the midst of her struggle, she discovered the faithfulness of God, who used her season of forced rest to bring healing, comfort, and purpose. Through scripture, gratitude, and a shift in focus, Vickie learned how to trust God, reclaim her identity in Christ, and ultimately use her experience to offer hope and comfort to others facing their own trials. Quotables from the episode: What I have found is that if we will allow God to, he will take our deepest areas of pain and discomfort and ultimately use it for our good. I was an OB /GYN doctor, delivered 5,000 babies during my career. And that was such a treasure, such a privilege to be there at that special moment at the beginning of life, to be the first person to hold a newborn baby. So, I was in the operating room doing a C-section when all of a sudden, my hands refused to obey my brain. And I kept staring at them, expecting them to move, and they were just still. Now, I say suddenly, in reality, about six weeks before, I had been diagnosed with a disease called myasthenia gravis, but it initially only affected my eyes. So, we knew what was happening, and I was having some subtle symptoms, but I was preparing for a 57-mile bicycle ride across the state of Missouri the next day. I was kind of ignoring some symptoms. So, when I say suddenly, I don't really mean suddenly, but it felt suddenly. I went from being a surgeon in the operating room to being a patient in the emergency room in an instant. It was a very painful season from the outset because not only did, in an instant, I lose my career, my ability to ride my bicycle, and all the other active things that I loved about my life, but I also felt betrayed by my own profession. I think the beginning of a wound that was the most difficult to heal from, that I had to fight was a root of bitterness. When the Bible talks about a root of bitterness, you just think about weeds in your yard or your flower garden or whatever. If you don't pull up that whole entire root, there are little tentacles that go deep down inside. And I just felt like I was feeding the root of bitterness. I was rehearsing all the things I wanted to say or wish I would have said. I was rehearsing you know, "Oh, wasn't this horrible what happened to me?" I was angry, and I was nurturing that root of bitterness. And I knew that if I didn't deal with it, it would absolutely destroy me. I had to shift my mindset. I had to shift my focus. I had to put my eyes on the Lord. I already had done a lot of Bible study and had a good foundation of the Word of God. It was so cool how God would bring a scripture through a card that I got in the mail or through a phone call that I got or what I had read that morning. And then he would just affirm and reaffirm that all day long. That assured me of his presence, but it was being in his word in advance and shifting my mindset to a focus of what I had rather than what had happened to me. I would get up in the mornings and I would just go outside with the stars still out and I would literally count my blessings, just focusing on some gratitude. I was always a person that liked to write in journal. So, I started writing out my struggle through a blog and then eventually a little small book about forgiveness. I always say it's not a book to read, it's a book to do. I have to reread it myself because I went through additional things after that. After that, my 30 -year marriage ended, and so I had to sort of practice what I preached. When I lost my career as an OB/Gyn, that became an identity issue because when you’re a physician, you’re Dr. So-and-so, and it becomes so much a part of your identity. I caution not to let our identity be in anything that can be lost. If our identity is not in Christ which is permanent anchor for our soul and our only hope that never shifts the foundation that is firm, then anything that can be lost, we can lose ourselves whether it’s being a mom or being a wife or any of those things. I had to make sure that my identity was secure in Christ. Our occupation is what “we do,” it’s not “who I am.” God gave me comfort to know that God would use my situation to comfort others. We're all going to go through some kind of wounding. We don't get to choose what that experience is, but God says, “in this world you will have trouble.” But if we will allow God to come in and heal it, he can redeem it, he can heal, he can restore. It's been about a decade now since all of that happened. So in so many ways, I think through blogging and connecting with other believers, that was part of my own healing. It was, you know, I'm writing for other people, but I'm writing for me. Then I also connected with a lot of other people who have Myasthenia Gravis. I have spoken at national meetings for Myasthenia Gravis and talked to other people because it's a hopeless, frustrating disease that steals everything you love about your life. That was an area of redemption to be able to go and share with others the hope that I've received, the comfort that I've received, like 2 Corinthians 11:11 says, continuing on in the word. God took my background as an OB -GYN doctor for 20 years. I spent about seven years in the hospital administration learning about leadership. Then I got remarried and I got board certified in lifestyle medicine. Lifestyle Medicine had personally helped me and now I have a telehealth practice and my own podcast where I talk about Lifestyle Medicine and I just see these threads that God has pulled in and woven together to say, “because of these experiences you are qualified to do something new” and I love it. God spoke to me through His word and that's His language. That's how He speaks. If you want to speak to someone who only speaks French, you have to learn French. If you want to hear from the Lord, you need to know his language and his language is his word. I think having those index cards, having some scripture memorized, having some scripture hidden in my heart as the Bible says, that showed me that your God is faithful, and you can trust him no matter what? There's no need to be bitter and vengeful and to nurse a wound and nurse unforgiveness because that will destroy you. God tells us to cast our cares on him. You have to give your burdens to the Lord. So practically walking out, not just what was in my Bible, but what was written on those index cards. And I think it’s even a step beyond that. I think that it is one thing to write it, but then we have to go beyond that. We have to rehearse it. We've got to be speaking his word out. We've got to take it from head knowledge to heart knowledge. I would really encourage your listeners, if you're not going through a hard time right now, now's the time to prepare for the battle. Because like you said, it will come. Life comes in seasons. I'm in a good season right now. I was in a good season 10 years ago before all this started, but I had that foundation of the word. I think it all comes down to trust, really. You can know the word, rehearse the word, and what that helps you do is understand the absolute faithfulness and character of God. And that's what you build your life on in the good times and the bad. And when we look at the character of God, what is so comforting to me is that he is the same yesterday, today, that he will be tomorrow. He is unchanging. We're going to make mistakes, but God is never changing. So, the same God that was faithful to divide the Red Sea is going to be the same God that's going to find a path through our wilderness season, through our full trials to get us to the other side. But to your point, are we going to trust him through it? Or are we going to be angry and vengeful and bitter? It's a choice. God tells us to rest in him. And I think, you know, he set that model for us in creation in that seventh day he rested, and I don't think that was because he was tired, or he needed rest. I think it was because he was satisfied, and I think he wants us to come to him and say you're enough Lord and he wants us to rest in him. He says, “come to me all you who are weary and heavy burdened and I'll give you rest.” For me that looks like trust like rest from your striving to fix everything and to control the script so that it goes the way you want it to go. Rest in the Lord that his plans and purposes for your life are good. God is faithful and he can always be trusted. Scripture References: Psalm 55:22 NIV “Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.” John 16:33 NIV “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” 2 Corinthians 1:4 NIV “…who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” Recommended Resources: Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Dr. Vickie Petz Kasper: Podcast / Instagram / LinkedIn / Facebook / YouTube / Pinterest For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple Guest: Vickie Petz Kasper, M.D. practiced ob/gyn for 20 years until she landed on the other side of the sheets. A rare neuromuscular disorder turned her life upside down. But God used a season of forced rest to show His faithfulness. Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: If you’ve ever struggled with forgiveness—whether that’s forgiving others, forgiving yourself, or even struggling with feeling forgiven by God—then this episode is for you. Jessica and I talk about The Role of Forgiveness in Healing the Brain and Heart. Quotables from the episode: Science and scripture both affirm that forgiveness is vital for emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being. Forgiveness is more than a feeling—it’s a powerful decision that can transform your life. This topic is close to my heart because I’ve seen firsthand how forgiveness can set people free. I know many of our listeners and viewers carry deep wounds, and my prayer is that today’s conversation will bring encouragement and hope. Forgiveness is essential because it aligns us with God’s heart. We were created for relationships, but when hurt enters the picture, it creates emotional and spiritual wounds. Unforgiveness keeps us bound to that pain. It’s like drinking poison and expecting the other person to suffer. From a scientific perspective, studies show that holding onto unforgiveness increases stress hormones like cortisol, which negatively impacts brain function, weakens the immune system, and can even contribute to depression and anxiety. When we forgive, we release that toxic load, allowing our brains and bodies to function in a state of peace. As a neuropsychologist, I’ve also seen how unforgiveness affects brain chemistry. It triggers the fight-or-flight response, keeping us in a constant state of stress which can lead to depression, anxiety, discouragement, fear, even anger. But when we choose to forgive, our brain rewires itself toward healing and restoration. For years, I thought holding onto that anger would somehow hold the other person accountable. But instead, it only held me captive. When I finally chose to forgive, I experienced a peace I hadn’t known in years. And the beautiful thing was, God used that forgiveness to bring healing to my heart in ways I never expected. One of the biggest myths is that forgiveness means excusing or condoning what happened. Forgiveness is not saying that what happened was okay. It doesn’t mean forgetting or pretending it never happened. Instead, it’s releasing the burden of justice to God. Romans 12:19 reminds us, “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” Another myth is that we have to feel ready to forgive before we do it. But forgiveness is an act of obedience, not an emotion. Often, the feelings follow the decision. Jesus didn’t tell us to forgive when we felt like it. He commanded us to forgive because He knows the weight it lifts off our souls. And something amazing happens when we take that step of obedience—our hearts begin to soften, and healing begins. The process of forgiveness starts with prayer. We have to be honest with God about our pain and ask Him for the strength to forgive. Then, we choose to release the offense. Sometimes, it’s a one-time decision; other times, it’s a daily process of surrendering it to God until the pain no longer has power over us. And sometimes, we need to verbalize forgiveness, even if it’s just between us and God. Saying, “Lord, I choose to forgive [person’s name] for [specific hurt]” helps solidify the decision in our hearts. And one of the hardest but most powerful steps is praying for the person who hurt us. Jesus told us in Matthew 5:44, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” It’s hard at first, but it shifts our hearts from bitterness to compassion. Forgiveness is not about the other person—it’s about your own freedom. It doesn’t mean what they did was right, but it means you’re choosing to release the burden and trust God with justice. Take it one step at a time, and know that you are never alone in the process. Scripture References: Romans 12:19 reminds us, “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” Recommended Resources: Reframing Rejection: How Looking Through a Different Lens Changes Everything By Jessica Van Roekel Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Jessica Van Roekel: Website / Instagram / Facebook For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple Co-Host: Jessica Van Roekel is a worship leader, speaker, and writer who believes that through Jesus, personal histories don’t need to define the present or determine the future. She inspires, encourages, and equips others to look at life through the lenses of hope, trust, and God’s transforming grace. Jessica lives in rural Iowa surrounded by wide open spaces which remind her of God’s expansive love. She loves fun earrings, good coffee, and connecting with others. Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: On this episode, I talk with Janet McHenry, who shared her painful wound of walking with her husband through a very unjust situation that happened to him which caused her much shame. Yet, she also shares how God revealed himself to her, and answered her prayers in a way that she didn’t expect, producing a beautiful sacred scar. Quotables from the episode: My wound goes back to fall 2001, when we had a two-day blizzard in the Sierra valley when six calves and a bull bedded down in an old creek bed in the corner of my husband’s ranch, and were covered by snow. My husband was unaware this happened. A neighbor reported it not to my husband but to the local animal control authorities, and my husband was given seven animal cruelty charges, despite all the evidence in our favor. We unfortunately had an unjust judge who would not let records be placed into evidence, nor let experts testify on our behalf. The judge also harassed two of the defense witnesses. So much of the evidence that we had lined up for the trial was not allowed to be admitted. So he ended up being convicted on six animal cruelty charges with the possibility of getting three years in state prison. We felt a great deal of shame. How do you live in a community of your peers, with only 3000 in our entire county without a single stoplight. It’s an agricultural area where people raise hay and beef cattle. We experienced shame over this. We experienced fear because the judge could decide my husband would get those three years in prison, and how would we then live? The judge also could have pulled all the animals away from the ranch, removing my husband’s livelihood. My husband was pursuing his Ph.D. and was beginning to work on his doctoral dissertation, but my husband wouldn’t be able to teach with a felony conviction. So we experienced shame, fear, and a wounding because I had prayer walked around my community, I taught in a school district with only about 32 teachers so we all knew each other intimately, so I wasn’t able to avoid people through this process. I found it very difficult to finish out my school year as a teacher so I took a leave of absence and went on antidepressants because I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, my heart wouldn’t stop racing; I had never before experienced those physical reactions to stress. We worked really hard to get public support, and two months later was the sentencing. We filled the courtroom with friends and family and six pastors. The entire courtroom was a community of supporters for us. At the sentencing, the judge gave my husband four years of probation and a huge fine, so my husband had to sell off a large percentage of his herd to pay for that. We determined right away to file an appeal with the state appellate court. In the appeal, we documented over 240 instances where the judge had prejudiced the jurors. We waited another two years to get that decision. One by one we heard the appellate judges say that they were going to overturn the original decision. We determined to keep living here and keep serving our community the best that we could. One thing I learned on the day of the sentencing was that God was doing another great work in our lives that was unrelated. Standing in the parking lot after the decision was overturned a friend spoke up about what she saw in my husband and that God was really doing a new work in him and that he had a new countenance. It was then that I realized God was answering my prayers for my marriage which for 20-something years, I had been asking God to do a deeper work in our marriage, to save our marriage, to keep us together. God was working to answer a different prayer request than the ones that seemed more immediate. I don’t think I’d want to go through that situation again, but I did learn a lot about God’s loving presence through that. I re-read the book of Job every year when I read through the Bible, and I realized what I needed was a friend to quietly sit beside me. What Job needed was one good friend to sit with him through his suffering. Even though Job didn’t hear from God, God was that friend in Job’s wait. Even when it seems like God is silent, He is with us, He’s cheering us on. He cares about us. He loves us. Even if the situation doesn’t resolve in the way that we think is best, God will be even closer to us as a result of what we’ve been through. That presence of God, that closeness to him, is the best thing we can get out of this life on earth. Scripture References: Matthew 19:26 NIV “Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.’” Recommended Resources: Praying Personalities: Finding Your Natural Prayer Style by Janet McHenry Praying Personality Quiz Prayer Helps: Scripture-Based Prayers When You Don’t Know How to Pray . . . when listeners sign up for my monthly mini-magazine, Looking Up! at JanetMcHenry.com PrayerWalk by Janet McHenry The Complete Guide to the Prayers of Jesus by Janet McHenry Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Janet McHenry: Website / Looking Up Mini-Magazine / Facebook / X / Pinterest / LinkedIn / Instagram For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple Guest: Janet McHenry and her husband, a cattle rancher, wear sacred scars from his wrongful felony conviction that was overturned in appellate court two years later. A national speaker, Janet is the author of 27 books—eight on prayer, including the bestselling PrayerWalk and her newest, Praying Personalities. The parents of four adult children, Janet and Craig live in the Sierra Valley in northern California, where she serves as prayer coordinator for her church and on the state leadership tam for the National Day of Prayer. Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: The inner critic can be a constant and discouraging presence, stealing our joy and hindering us from walking in the confidence God intends for us. It often disguises itself as self-improvement or humility, but in reality, it holds us back from embracing our identity in Christ. In today’s episode, we’ll uncover the sources of this voice, explore how Scripture equips us to combat it, and learn practical, biblically-based strategies to replace self-condemnation with God’s truth. Quotables from the episode: The inner critic is that internal voice that condemns, shames, or reminds us of our shortcomings. It whispers lies like, “You’re not good enough,” “You’ll never succeed,” or “Who do you think you are?” Often, this voice feels louder in moments of vulnerability, failure, or self-doubt. Scripture reminds us that Satan is the accuser of the brethren (Revelation 12:10). His goal is to steal, kill, and destroy our confidence and joy (John 10:10). He plants seeds of doubt and discouragement, hoping we’ll lose sight of God’s truth about our identity. The enemy’s accusations often feel like they’re coming from within, making it harder to recognize their origin. Our sinful nature and brokenness often give rise to self-condemnation. Past experiences, such as critical words from others, failures, or unmet expectations, can leave scars that fuel the inner critic. We may strive for perfection, believing the lie that we’re only worthy if we meet certain standards. This striving often leads to exhaustion and deeper feelings of inadequacy. The world bombards us with messages that we must perform, achieve, or conform to be loved or valuable. Social media, advertisements, and cultural expectations paint a picture of perfection that is impossible to attain. When we fall short, the inner critic seizes the opportunity to amplify our insecurities and remind us of our perceived failures. For some, the inner critic’s voice mimics the critical or harsh words spoken by authority figures in their lives, such as parents, teachers, or peers. Over time, these external voices become internalized, shaping how we see ourselves and respond to challenges. Even well-meaning criticism can leave an imprint if it’s not tempered with grace and encouragement. The inner critic is not God’s voice. In fact, His voice always aligns with truth, hope, and encouragement. It’s important to identify and challenge thoughts that contradict God’s truth. Taking every thought captive means actively rejecting lies and replacing them with God’s promises. God’s voice always aligns with His character—He speaks love, encouragement, and restoration. While the inner critic seeks to tear us down, God’s Word builds us up and reminds us of our identity in Christ. By meditating on Scripture, we can discern the difference between the voice of the inner critic and the voice of our loving Father. His truth gives us the strength to silence the lies and walk confidently in His grace. God’s voice brings peace, conviction (not condemnation), and hope. He calls us to see ourselves as He does—fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). Become aware of when the inner critic is speaking. Pause and ask, “Is this thought true, or is it a lie?” If it doesn’t align with Scripture, it’s not from God. Journaling your thoughts can help you identify patterns of self-criticism and pinpoint recurring lies that need to be addressed. Counter every negative thought with God’s Word. For example, if the thought says, “I’m a failure,” remind yourself of Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Create a list of Bible verses that speak to your identity in Christ, and keep them handy for moments of doubt. A grateful heart leaves little room for self-criticism. Start each day by thanking God for His blessings and affirming the ways He’s working in your life. When you focus on God’s goodness, it shifts your perspective and quiets the critical voice. Surround yourself with people who speak life and encouragement. Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Healthy, godly relationships provide support, accountability, and reminders of your worth in Christ. Be intentional about building connections with those who uplift you. Ask God to help you distinguish His voice from the lies of the enemy. James 1:5 assures us that He gives wisdom generously to those who ask. Pray for clarity and ask the Holy Spirit to guide your thoughts and words. Instead of agreeing with the critic, declare the truth of who you are in Christ. Say things like, “I am chosen,” “I am loved,” and “I am forgiven.” Speaking these affirmations aloud helps to reinforce them in your mind and heart. Whether it’s critical people, social media, or unhelpful comparisons, protect your mind by setting healthy boundaries. Consider a social media detox or limiting time spent with individuals who are overly critical or draining. Silencing your inner critic is not a one-time fix; it’s a daily practice of renewing your mind and grounding yourself in God’s truth. Remember, the voice of the inner critic is a liar. God’s voice is the only one that matters, and His voice speaks love, grace, and purpose over you. Scripture References: Romans 8:1, which declares, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Ephesians 2:10 reminds us, “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” James 3:9-10 “With the tongue, we praise our Lord and Father, and with it, we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness... My brothers and sisters, this should not be.” Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” 2 Corinthians 10:5 “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” Psalm 139:14 “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Recommended Resources: Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue Social Media Links for Host: For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: In this week’s episode, I’m talking with Dawn Ward, who shares her painful story of being a mother to two sons who have struggled with addiction. Dawn shares how God has used those wounds, healed them, and given her purpose in her pain to encourage us that God never wastes our pain. Quotables from the episode: I was a Christian and I thought that if I took my children church and taught them the Bible and did all the things according to God's word then those evil elements of the world would somehow not get to our family, but that didn't prove to be true. When I tried to outrun old wounds from my childhood, these old pains and things that had hurt me so much came back to haunt me when my son became involved with the wrong friends and the wrong movies and troublesome behaviors. Both of my sons struggled with addiction and I faced intense guilt and self-blame and shame because at that point I thought it was my fault. I remember crying out to God, “I thought that I was doing better in my relationship with you. I thought I had more faith. I thought I trusted you. And now I'm just in a big pool of my own tears.” And that is so often what happens when we hear messages in childhood that are not always based in truth. Earlier in my life, in my career, my faith, or things that God was tugging at my heart to do, I was reluctant to step out and be bold and do those things because I didn't feel adequate. I didn't feel like I would be able to do it. And I look back on opportunities that God put in front of me, and I told myself I couldn't do them. There came a breaking point where I realized I have to figure this out, because if I don’t figure out how God sees me and the things that he’s given me responsibility for and that he trusts me to be a wife and to be a mother, but yet I’m not trusting myself to do it with his help. I needed to trust God to begin to reveal lies and the thought patterns that were holding me back and affecting all my relationships. One day my husband confronted me and said, “You are going to worry yourself to death.” And I told him he had permission to write that on my tombstone, “She worried herself to death.” But I heard the Lord say to me, “No, it’s going to say she trusted God.” That was an aha moment for me when I realized that every choice that I made moving forward, I needed to ask, “Do I trust you, Lord? Even though this doesn’t make sense. Even though I can’t understand why it’s going this way.” So, I wrote a book hoping maybe other moms wouldn’t have to go through as much pain and all of the hard lessons I had to go through. It’s really about getting our relationship back with the Lord and having our faith in him that can withstand these storms and helping us to trust him in the process of those difficult and painful things that we have no control over. That’s the same thing with us with these wounds. If we don’t allow God to heal them the way that he wants to heal them. Most of us wouldn’t sign up for half the stuff that we end up having to go through in our life. But the beautiful thing is that when we turn it over to God and we trust God through it, he can bring something beautiful out of those painful wounds. Another benefit that comes from that is our relationship with our children and our loved ones, whether they’re in a good place or not, it becomes healthier just because we become healthier and stronger and we’re healing. I look back and sometimes truthfully wish I didn’t have to bear this trial, or that my children didn’t have to bear their trial. But I can see that God has cultivated trust and faith and hope through his grace into my life. And I’m so grateful for that because I don’t think I could have really healed from some of the things I went through as a child without him working through the process of this healing with me as an adult. God is not finished writing your story, or your child’s story. He loves you very much. If we can imagine how much we love our child and to imagine that God loves them that much more, and he loves us too. When we look at our God and what he is capable of and realize that his eye is on that one little lost sheep that’s wandering, that gives us hope. Recommended Resources: Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Dawn Ward: Website / Facebook / Instagram For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple Guest: Dawn Ward is a speaker, writer, and biblical life coach. She is the founder of The Faith to Flourish, a ministry equipping women to live transformed lives through inspiring teaching, mentoring, and biblical resources. Dawn also offers support and encouragement to women with addicted loved ones. She is married to Steve and mom to three adult children. Her book, From Guilt to Grace: Hope and Healing for Christian Moms of Addicted Children is scheduled for release in September 2024. Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: If you’ve ever struggled with relating to God as Father—maybe you’ve been hurt by an earthly father or a church leader and carry a misunderstanding of God’s heart for you-- then this episode is for you. Rev. Jessica Van Roekel and I talk about Relating to God as Father and Understanding God’s Love When Earthly Fathers Fail. Relating to God as Father is vital for a proper understanding and close relationship with the Lord. We can lose sight of who God is when we forget that he is not like us. We are made in his image, not the other way around. Fatherhood is an important aspect of God’s character and when we can relate to God as father it can transform our life. Quotables from the episode: Knowing God as my Father has brought so much comfort to my life. I know many of our listeners and viewers carry deep wounds, and my prayer is that today’s conversation will bring encouragement and hope. Relating to God as Father is essential to experience his comfort and blessings of being his sons and daughters. He gives us mercy, love, forgiveness, compassion, faithfulness, and goodness. When we reject God’s fatherhood, we struggle to experience the comfort he offers to us. Earthly fathers are an imperfect and flawed example, but God is a perfect Father. He always has the best intentions for his children, and he always has the ability to carry them out. Jesus taught that “Father” was the way to address God. “Father” was Jesus’ favorite term for addressing God. In the synoptic Gospels, we count Jesus referencing God as Father approximately sixty-five times and in the book of John, we see it over one hundred times. Because of Jesus’ use of this metaphor, the rest of the New Testament emphasizes the Fatherhood of God. In Paul’s letters, God is described as “Father” over forty times. For Paul, God’s fatherhood is based on the redemption and reconciliation he has made available to everyone through faith in Jesus Christ. There are a lot of misconceptions about the Fatherhood of God that can keep people from relating to him as Father. Let’s take a moment to address some of them. One of the biggest challenges is being hurt by people—fathers or father figures. One of the reasons is we are such sensory beings. We feel so deeply the wounds of betrayal and if we compare God to mankind, there’s no way we could trust him with our heart. But humanity is made in the image of God, not God in humanity’s image. We are a reflection of parts of God. But then sin entered the world and shattered the reflection. It’s like we all have a shattered mirror in our chest, and we can’t see other people clearly or ourselves clearly. This skewed vision impacts how we see God. But his “mirror’ is intact. He is the perfect reflection of a perfect Father because he is our Father. Ephesians 1:5 comforts us, “God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.” Another challenge to relating to God as Father is when we misunderstand his discipline. But discipline is an important part of growing and living for him. It not only rebukes and corrects, but it also trains us and guides us. Discipline assures us we are God’s children; Discipline is evidence he loves us and has concern for us to not be condemned by the world, but so we can share in his holiness. It sounds like there are three responses to relating to God as Father through discipline. One response is to shrug it off where we refuse to take it seriously or despise it. The other is to be over-sensitive and withdraw emotionally. These two will cause us to reject God as father. But the one who receives God’s discipline as an act of love will draw closer to God’s Father heart for us. I think it starts with trusting God. God delights in protecting the weak, disadvantaged, oppressed, hurting, and lonely—especially when we trust him. If you feel alone in the world, you can ask God, as your Father in heaven, to put you under his special care. And sometimes, we need to consider how deep our honor and respect for his power, judgment, and intolerance of evil. When we cultivate a deep honor and respect for him, God liberates and motivates us to avoid evil, obey God’s word, and to live with a continual awareness of God’s mercy and nearness. To those who revere him, he gives mercy, love, forgiveness, fatherly compassion, faithfulness, and goodness. The final step we want to share today is to ask the Holy Spirit to create the feeling of filial love that causes us to know God as Father. I love Galatians 4:6, “And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, ‘Abba! Father!’” Because we are now God’s children, we have a new “guardian.” We can be free from religious rules or the devastating impact of human failures. Abba is Aramaic for Father and expresses the depth of intimacy, warmth, and confidence by which the Holy Spirit helps us relate to and cry out to God as Father. When we refer to and relate to God as Father, we demonstrate the transforming work of the Holy Spirit in our life. Relating to God as Father has nothing to do with how poorly you’ve been treated but has everything to do with placing your entire trust in God’s love for you. You have the freedom and the right to approach our heavenly Father with the confidence that you will be accepted, welcomed, and loved. Scripture References: Ephesians 1:5 comforts us, “God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.” Hebrews 12:6-10 states, “For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives. It is for discipline that you must endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us, and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” Psalm 68:5-6 reminds us, “Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation. God settles the solitary in a home; he leads out the prisoners to prosperity, but the rebellious dwell in a parched land.” Psalm 103:13 teaches us, “as a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.” Galatians 4:6, “And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, ‘Abba! Father!’” Recommended Resources: Reframing Rejection: How Looking Through a Different Lens Changes Everything By Jessica Van Roekel Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Jessica Van Roekel: Website / Instagram / Facebook For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple Co-Host: Jessica Van Roekel is a worship leader, speaker, and writer who believes that through Jesus, personal histories don’t need to define the present or determine the future. She inspires, encourages, and equips others to look at life through the lenses of hope, trust, and God’s transforming grace. Jessica lives in rural Iowa surrounded by wide open spaces which remind her of God’s expansive love. She loves fun earrings, good coffee, and connecting with others. Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: In this episode, guest Tammy Kennington shares the deep wounds she experienced as a survivor of childhood sexual trauma—and the heartbreak of watching someone she loves endure the same pain. Through her journey, she shares how God met her in the midst of that suffering, redeemed even her most painful experiences, and gave her sacred scars as beauty for her ashes. Quotables from the episode: My story of wounding is two sides of the same coin, first as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and then seeing someone I dearly love experiencing the same sort of thing. I’ve really had to kneel at God’s feet, seek Him, and heal physically, emotionally, relationally, and spiritually. My wounds trapped me in grief, fear, and confusion; not so much my own trauma, but the vicarious trauma of the individual that I love so much. Fear held me captive. I thought I would not ever experience freedom again or ever experience any of the Lord’s peace because it just seemed so out of reach. Anywhere I turned, it felt like tentacles twisted around my marriage, my family, my personal life and it attempted to destroy all beauty. The painful wounds I experienced emotionally and relationally were also replicated physically. After I found out about the horrendous suffering my loved one had endured, I found out that I was suffering from fibromyalgia and scleroderma. It took years for those to be diagnosed but God has done an amazing work in my life through all of it. When we go through a painful event, even emotionally, relationally, or spiritually, our body will react to that pain and stress, and create physical health conditions that also often contribute to physical pain. I’m trying to give people permission to acknowledge the pain, but then to step forward to deal with it in a safe healing environment. Because when we don’t, our body will hold onto it, and we will experience physical symptoms at some point. Without healing, wounds rot, they fester, and they go deeper. I’m a testimony to God’s power. I no longer live with fear, with flashbacks, suicidality, or disassociation. And because the Lord healed me, of those burdens, I knew he could heal me of the autoimmune disorder I was dealing with, if he wanted to. It was a long seven-year process. But now I’m coming up on the one year anniversary of not having any fibromyalgia flareups, and I’m going back to full time work in the fall. God has restored me emotionally, spiritually, and physically as a testimony of his goodness. We know that there are times when God doesn’t heal this side of heaven. But those who know Christ will be healed ultimately in Heaven. Even if we are walking through a painful journey now and he doesn’t heal us here, we can count on him because we know he will give us the strength that we need. Scripture tells us that he will provide for all of our needs, and that his grace is abundant. He is a God of mercy, and he is able. If you are in that situation now where you are praying for physical, emotional, relational, or spiritual healing keep praying. Keep pursuing God. Keep praying. God has not always healed areas that I have most wanted healed, he still may but he has not yet, but there are other areas that he knew, in his infinite wisdom, were more important for him to address with me. So I continue to press in for healing, but I trust God’s timing and his perfect plan. God does redeem our pain. Our most painful experiences when we place them at his feet and surrender them to him can be used for good whether or not the enemy intended them for evil. What flipped the switch for me was when I realized that if I denied my faith, if I allowed my anger and bitterness to boil under the surface, then I would have given Satan the ultimate victory because he would have stolen the most beautiful thing in my life: my relationship with my Lord and Savior. I refused to give him that pleasure. Trauma occurred out of my control, but my response did not. You decided that your faith in God was stronger and more important than the enemy having victory over your life. God can work in and through the most hurtful experiences in our lives, and he can bring us to a place of restoration. Scripture References: Genesis 50:20 NIV “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” Philippians 4:19 NIV “And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” Psalm 147:3 NIV “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Recommended Resources: Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Tammy Kennington: Connect with Tammy at https://tammykennington.substack.com/ or learn more about her at https://tammykennington.com/. For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple Guest: Tammy Kennington is an author, educator, speaker, and life coach familiar with the impact of trauma, mental health issues, and parenting in the hard places. She strives to lead women from hardship to hope and share Christ’s love with the young and young at heart. Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: Today, we're exploring a topic that feels counterintuitive but profoundly transformative: "How to Rekindle Your First Love.” Together with Pastor Jessica Van Roekel, we’ll examine why this is important, how it helps us live our lives in Christ, the warning signs of losing it and how to get back to it. We’ll offer biblical wisdom, personal stories, and practical insights to help you embrace joy as a choice, a fruit of the Spirit, and a testament to God’s faithfulness. Quotables from the episode: Search for identity and purpose can only be found in our personal relationship with God. We cannot chase Dr. Michelle’s experience with God, my experience with God, or your pastor’s experience with God. We gather corporately for worship services, but the rest of the week, we “gather” with God as an individual. We must seek our own revelation of his love for us, who we are IN him and TO him. Life confuses, distracts, or points us to look at the world or church leaders for insight into ourselves. Ultimately, Christ reveals himself and will return to set things right. No more broken hearts or tears. All hope will be fulfilled. All promises will be kept. The book of Revelation uses imagery to describe the end of time, but the letters to the churches at the beginning of the book are easy to understand. Christ’s purpose for the letters are to challenge, encourage, warn, and build up believers and churches throughout history. The letter’s values for us today includes: a revelation of what Christ loves and values along with what he hates and condemns. They also give us a clear statement about consequences for disobedience and spiritual neglect along with rewards for spiritual alertness, diligence, and faithfulness to Christ. They also provide the standard for any individual or church to judge their true spiritual condition and provide an example of Satan’s methods for attacking and working against the church or individual Christian. The Christians in Ephesus were complimented for: toil, patient endurance, separateness from evil, pursuers of truth, bearing up for the Lord’s sake, not grown weary. They were criticized for losing their first love. The first love is defined as: commitment to the original love, truth, purity, and power of Jesus and his original revelation. Our first love protects and helps us live the way Jesus calls us to. Our first love protects us because it helps us avoid sin, prevents us from running after false teaching, and helps us not forsake Jesus. But the consequences of losing our first love means we forget about loving the hurting, loving our fellow siblings in Christ, and about our own lost, wretched nature before we gave our life to Christ and his Lordship. We can lose our first love through spiritual distraction, loneliness, weariness, focusing more on the battle rather than our Victor, listening to other voices, and allowing religious actions to replace relationship. But God gives us warning signs. Let’s go through the warning signs: delight in something/something else more than God; lacking of longing for prayer and Bible reading; don’t think about God throughout the day; claim to “be human” to excuse behaviors/attitudes; and lack of cheerful giving or service. There’s more: treating other Christians with more judgment than kindness, view Christ’s commands as restrictions to happiness, striving for mankind’s acclaim, allowing fears to control decisions to share the Good News of Christ, refuse to give up an activity that displeases God, complacent to sinful attitudes around you, and unwillingness to forgive. To rekindle our first love, we choose to remember God’s love, his faithfulness and our initial love for him. We can remember what he saved us from and how we were before we welcomed him into our lives. The second way to rekindle our first love is to REPENT. Jesus, our High Priest, stands ready to forgive us if we would turn and come to him. We need to admit we’ve lost it, stop ignoring the warning signs and bring our “spiritual” care into the “mechanic” for service. He stands waiting for us and we don’t need to be ashamed or put undue pressure on ourselves. The third step is to RETURN. Return to where you lost it. Don’t try to be a mile ahead of where you use to be. Go back and begin again with renewed love for God. Don’t beat yourself up for letting your love for God grow cool. Remember you’re not alone, remember God is for you and loves you. Repent and return. Scripture References: Revelation 2:1-5 To the angel of the church in Ephesus write: These are the words of him who holds the seven stars in his right hand and walks among the seven golden lampstands. I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked people, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not and have found them false. You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name and have not grown weary. Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place. Jeremiah 29:13 “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” 1 John 4:19 “we love him because he first loved us.” Luke 7:36-50 Hebrews 4:12-16 “For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account. Jesus the Great High Priest Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” 1 Timothy 1:6 “For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God.” Jude 20-21 “But you, beloved, building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life,” Recommended Resources: Reframing Rejection: How Looking Through a Different Lens Changes Everything By Jessica Van Roekel Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Jessica Van Roekel: Website / Instagram / Facebook For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple Co-Host: Jessica Van Roekel is a worship leader, speaker, and writer who believes that through Jesus, personal histories don’t need to define the present or determine the future. She inspires, encourages, and equips others to look at life through the lenses of hope, trust, and God’s transforming grace. Jessica lives in rural Iowa surrounded by wide open spaces which remind her of God’s expansive love. She loves fun earrings, good coffee, and connecting with others. Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: This month is Mental Health Awareness Month, and I want to take some time to talk about something that is so important but often misunderstood—mental health, especially in the context of our faith. For too long, mental health struggles have been shrouded in stigma—especially in Christian circles. Maybe you’ve heard things like: “You just need to pray more.” “If you had more faith, you wouldn’t struggle.” “Christians shouldn’t be anxious or depressed.” Have you ever heard these statements? Maybe you’ve even said them yourself at some point. The problem is, these kinds of messages aren’t biblical, and they can actually do more harm than good. So today, we’re going to break the stigma surrounding mental health in the church. We’ll talk about: What the Bible really says about mental health Why struggling with mental health doesn’t mean you lack faith How we as believers can better support those who are hurting I pray that today’s episode will encourage you and help bring light to a topic that desperately needs to be discussed. Quotables from the episode: Some people believe that if we’re struggling emotionally, we must be failing spiritually. But that’s just not true. The Bible is full of stories of faithful men and women who wrestled with deep emotional pain: David, a man after God’s own heart, poured out his despair in the Psalms. He wrote in Psalm 42:5 (NIV), "Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God." Elijah, a mighty prophet, was so overwhelmed with despair that he asked God to take his life (1 Kings 19:4). Job, a righteous man, suffered so much that he wished he had never been born (Job 3:11). Even Jesus Himself experienced deep sorrow. Isaiah 53:3 calls Him "a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief." The presence of mental and emotional struggles does not mean we lack faith. It means we are human. God doesn’t dismiss our struggles—He meets us in them. Psalm 34:18 says, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." If you’re struggling today, I want you to hear this: God sees you. He cares. And He does not condemn you for your pain. Can God heal? Absolutely.Does God answer prayer? Without a doubt.But does struggling with mental health mean you’re failing as a Christian? Not at all. Think about physical health. If someone has diabetes, do we tell them, “Just pray more, and your blood sugar will be fine”? Of course not! We encourage them to seek medical treatment, eat well, and take care of their body—all while trusting God for healing. The same applies to mental health. Anxiety, depression, and other struggles are not signs of spiritual weakness. They are real, complex conditions that can be caused by many factors—biology, trauma, stress, spiritual warfare, and more. Seeking help—whether through counseling, medication, or other means—doesn’t mean you lack faith. It means you are taking wise steps toward healing. James 1:5 tells us, "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." Wisdom includes knowing when we need help—and being humble enough to receive it. If you’re struggling, please know this: Your pain does not disqualify your faith. Your struggles do not define you. God is not disappointed in you—He is with you in the struggle. So, how can we, as the body of Christ, do better in supporting those who are struggling with mental health? 1. Stop the Stigma Let’s be careful with our words. Let’s stop shaming people for their struggles. Often, people can figure out what to DO for someone, but they often stumble over what to SAY. In my private practice, and through my own personal struggles, I’ve found this to be a huge stumbling block. There are definitely things NOT to say: “It’s all in your head.” “Snap out of it.” “Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.”(All of these things convey a lack of sensitivity to the pain they are experiencing. You’d never say these things to someone who has cancer, and depression is just as much a medical diagnosis.) “This too shall pass.”(That is true, but it doesn’t make someone struggling with depression feel any better. Even a tornado passes, but it leaves damage and devastation in its wake.) “What doesn’t kill you will make you stronger.”(First of all, many with depression consider suicide, so it’s never a good idea to joke about dying. Secondly, most with depression don’t care about getting stronger, they just want to survive.) “Others are worse off than you.”(Isn’t this true for everyone? But saying that doesn’t even acknowledge the pain the person with depression is in. And why is their pain any less valid?) “I know how you feel.”(If you’ve never struggled with depression, you don’t know how they feel. Even if you have experienced depression, the situation and symptoms and complicating factors may be entirely different. It’s better not to even try to compare.) Helpful things TO say: “I love you.”The person with depression often can’t love themselves much less believe that others love them. They need to hear this now more than ever, even if they don’t believe it. “I’m here for you.”Someone struggling with depression feels so alone. They need to know that others care enough to be present with them in their pain, rather than trying to fix it. “You are important to me.”When struggling with depression, self-esteem is often at risk. They feel all alone and need the assurance that their standing in your eyes and your life doesn’t change just because of the depression. “I’m sorry you’re hurting.”While I do not recommend saying you know how someone feels, I do suggest you offer kindness, compassion, and concern for their pain. “Is there something I can do for you?”Often, our actions speak louder than words. When you offer to help, you enter into their pain. They may not know how you can help, but by asking the question, you open up the opportunity for dialogue. “You may not believe this now, but you won’t always feel this way.”When one is struggling with depression, the whole world looks black, and the future seems to offer only more of the same. It can be helpful to encourage them that this is a season, and they won’t always be in this place. “What might help you feel better?”This can help them start to think pro-actively about things that help, and can clue you in on how you can support them. For example, if they mention that they always feel better after a walk, offer to walk with them. “What might be making your depression worse?”This can help them step back and take a look at things they need to change (e.g. sleeping too late in the morning may leave them feeling lethargic and sluggish all day, so setting an alarm to get up earlier might combat that), and can also help you better know how to support and pray for them. “We will get through this together.”Depression can leave one feeling incredibly lonely, isolated, and as if no one cares or understands. This simple statement conveys support. You aren’t trying to change them or solve the problem, just be present.Remember, someone else’s experience with depression isn’t your fault and you can’t “fix it” for them-only God can do that. But you can support. Say nothing.Words get us into trouble so often, when really, just being present often conveys much greater support than having the perfect thing to say or advice to try to make things better. 2. Encourage Professional Help God has gifted counselors, therapists, and doctors with wisdom to help. Seeking help is not a lack of faith—it’s an act of wisdom. 3. Offer Practical Support Mental health struggles can be isolating. A simple text, meal, or kind word can mean the world to someone who’s struggling. While we can be prone to feel helpless to help someone with depression, particularly if we have never experienced it ourselves, there are some practical things we can do to help: Enter into their experience with them and be present. Offer to make a doctor’s appointment for them, and offer to go with them. Make plans with them. Even if they decline, keep offering. Ask how you can pray for them, and pray with them. Remain encouraging and positive. Meet tangible needs (i.e. car pool, pick up grocery items, run errands). Be willing to just sit and be with them. Convey there is hope. Pray With and For Them Prayer is powerful. Instead of saying “Just pray more,” Pray with and for them. But let’s not use it as a substitutefor real support. Let’s walk alongside those who are hurting. Galatians 6:2 says, "Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." Let’s be a community that lifts each other up, rather than tearing each other down. Friend, if you are struggling today, I want you to know: You are not alone. Your mental health matters. Your pain does not define you. And God has not abandoned you. If you need help, please don’t suffer in silence. Reach out to a trusted friend, pastor, counselor, or doctor. You are worthy of support and healing. And if you know someone who is struggling, I encourage you to be the hands and feet of Jesus to them. Let’s break the stigma. Let’s create a church culture where it’s okay to not be okay—because that’s where healing begins. Scripture References: Psalm 42:5 (NIV), "Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God." Psalm 34:18 says, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." James 1:5 tells us, "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." Galatians 6:2 says, "Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." Recommended Resources: Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue Social Media Links for Host: For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: In this episode of Your Hope-Filled Perspective, Rhonda Stoppe shares her Sacred Scar Story of finding hope in the midst of postpartum depression and hormonal imbalance. What began as a season of silent suffering—marked by deep shame, emotional exhaustion, and the sense that no one understood—eventually led her to the help she desperately needed. Now, Rhonda offers encouragement and truth to women facing similar struggles, reminding them they’re not alone and that healing begins when we bring our pain into the light. Quotables from the episode: Living in that one-bedroom house, without electricity, with three children I was so overwhelmed. It wasn’t depression exactly, but I was completely overwhelmed. I was lying in my kids’ bunkbed with the door closing, weeping, when my husband came home and found me like that. He asked what was wrong with me, and I didn’t know. It was just too hard. It was a very dark season for me. I didn’t know that it was post-partum depression—I just knew I was frail, and I was fragile. Slowly, that post-partum turned into PMS/PMD. I remember not being the mom I wanted to be. Two weeks out of the month I wasn’t myself, and then two weeks out of the month I was myself. We lived behind a locked gate on a ranch, so I could hide. So whenever I wasn’t myself, and I couldn’t live my life “out there,” I just stayed home within the locked gate. Imagine if you’re a werewolf, and imagine if every full moon, you were going to turn into a werewolf and you couldn’t stop it, you couldn’t stop that werewolf from taking over your body, and the only hope you had was if someone would lock you in a cage until the full moon passed so you didn’t eat your young. That is what my experience was like with PMS. Before I experienced it, I had said to my mom and to my sister who struggled with it, “Oh come on, you’re just using that as an excuse to hurt people with your words.” Now, I knew enough to not hurt people with my words. Instead, I would pull back. During those times the only fruit of the spirit that I seemed to have was self-control, and I could keep hurtful words from coming out of my mouth that I couldn’t take back. I told my husband that the best way he could help me was to let me pull away in my bedroom, while he played with the kids, and let me just get through it. I would be in my room with my Bible open in my lap, reading, praying and asking God to help me. I felt so ashamed because I knew the Lord and I had the Holy Spirit in me. What happens with a hormonal imbalance is a real medical condition that occurs and can play itself out in a way that you can be very sinful in how you let yourself respond to it. I felt shame, I felt alone, I felt lonely, I felt like no one else was going through what I was going through. I think it’s silent suffering that we often go through as Christian women because it feels so shameful when we have the Holy Spirit but we don’t know why we cannot get a handle on this. What makes it so hard is that we are so ashamed about it, so we don’t want to talk about it because we don’t know anyone else who is going through it so we think we are alone, so then the message we hear is “what’s wrong with ME?” That just brings on more guilt, shame, remorse, regret, fear, and isolation. The isolation is about the worse thing we can do. We need to talk about it so that people know they’re not alone. The enemy convinced me I was all alone, nobody understands, and I was going to have to figure this all out on my own. I ultimately found help when I went to an endocrinologist who specialized in hormonal disorders. She gave me medication that balanced out my hormonal levels throughout the month. My sacred scars came out of this experience because now I can comfort others with what has comforted me. Whenever I share my story, women are desperate to talk to me because they feel so alone and don’t think anyone can understand the struggle, and for some, it’s ruining their marriages. The whole essence of the book Sacred Scars is that God didn’t cause our pain and suffering, but He will use it for good. Even now, my husband, Steve, who is a pastor, can help other men whose wives are going through it, because Steve went through it with me and can understand. Initially, in my pride, I didn’t want others to know about my frailty, but if God can use my frailty to help someone else, who am I to not let Him use my sacred scars to help someone else who’s desperate to know they aren’t alone. Don’t try to find someone to blame for how you’re feeling right now. Recognize what is going on in your body. It’s no one’s fault; you don’t have to find someone to blame for why you’re sad or why you’re mad or why you’re triggered. It’s a hormonal fluctuation and you need to decide how to take care of you and not assign blame or fault for why you feel this way. There is hope and there is help. Find a medical professional who specializes in hormonal imbalances. Don’t give up. Find someone you can trust who you can talk to about it. Isolating yourself makes it worse. Don’t give up and don’t suffer silently. Satan keeps our secrets and makes us feel shame, so when we share it, it disarms his hold on us. Find a safe person to share this with. You need to be careful who you share this with because some people haven’t earned your trust or the right to hear those intimate personal details. Recommended Resources: How to Deal with Hormonal Imbalances That Affect Your Marriage Real-Life Romance: Inspiring Stories to Help You Believe in True Love by Rhonda Stoppe Moms Raising Sons to be Men by Rhonda Stoppe If My Husband Would Change, I’d Be Happy: And Other Myths Women Believe by Rhonda Stoppe The Marriage Mentor: Becoming the Couple You Long to Be by Rhonda Stoppe A Christian Woman’s Guide to Great Sex in Marriage by Rhonda Stoppe Text NOREGRETS to 55444 to access the free video “God uses ordinary people” Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Rhonda Stoppe: Website / Facebook / Instagram / Twitter / LinkedIn / Pinterest For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple Guest: Rhonda Stoppe is the Best-Selling Author of 7 books. For more than 30 years Rhonda has helped thousands of women build no regrets lives! Rhonda is a highly sought after Speaker and a popular voice in the Christian Living Community. Rhonda ministers alongside her husband Steve, who for 20 years has pastored First Baptist Church of Patterson, California. They live out their own Real Life Romance writing books and speaking at their No Regrets Marriage Conferences, but their favorite ministry is their family. They have four grown children and 10 grandchildren. To learn more about Rhonda’s speaking topics, watch her teaching and to book Rhonda for your next event visit: NoRegretsWoman.com Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.