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Team Us

with Ted and Ashleigh Slater

Team Us Episodes
How to Work Together to Resolve Disagreements
December 6, 2022 - 28 min
What do conflict, birthdays, Nehemiah, and buried issues have in common? We talk about them all in this episode! As we’ve said before, conflict in marriage is inevitable. And for us, disagreements have never been about whether or not we’ll have them, but how we deal with them when we do.

Listen in as we talk about practical ways to work together as a team to resolve disagreements. We’ll share how you learn to face conflict as allies, agree not to bury issues, and commit to respond rather than react.

3 Ways to Work Together to Resolve Disagreements

1. Face discouragements as allies.
2. Agree not to bury issues.
3. Commit to respond, not react.

Us Time Challenge

Do a team-building activity together that has the potential to be frustrating at times. Maybe it’s an escape room or paddling a rowboat. Come up with something creative, fun, and relationship-strengthening!

Team Us Resources

• Team Us: The Unifying Power of Grace, Commitment, and Cooperation in Marriage (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/)
• FREE Team Us Study Guide (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/free-team-us-study-guide/)

Connect with Ted and Ashleigh

• Website (https://ashleighslater.com/)
• Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/ashleighslater_author/)
• Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/ashleighslaterauthor)
How to Better Communicate as a Team
November 29, 2022 - 19 min
Some people might assume we’re some sort of communication experts because we both have master’s degrees in communication. But today we’re going to let you in on a not-so-secret truth. We aren’t. We studied communication because we knew we needed help. And, all these years later, we’re still learning.

Join us as we share some tools, tips, and techniques we’ve discovered. Listen in as we talk about how putting them into practice has helped us better communicate like a team. Hopefully, they’ll do the same for you!

4 Steps to Better Communicating as a Team

1. Slow down.
2. Listen well.
3. Repeat often.
4. Respond rather than react.

Us Time Challenge

Practice the four steps to better communicating as a team. Pick a moment where you might normally rush through communication, and instead, slow down, listen well, repeat often, and respond rather than react.

Team Us Resources

• Team Us: The Unifying Power of Grace, Commitment, and Cooperation in Marriage (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/)
• FREE Team Us Study Guide (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/free-team-us-study-guide/)

Connect with Ted and Ashleigh

• Website (https://ashleighslater.com/)
• Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/ashleighslater_author/)
• Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/ashleighslaterauthor)
Why Love Isn’t Enough to Keep You Together
November 22, 2022 - 19 min
Many couples believe that the intense romantic love that brings them together will keep them together long-term. And, while it’s true that these in-love emotions are exhilarating and worth savoring, you need more than feelings for your marriage to go the distance. It has to be based on more.

Listen in as we talk about marital culture shock and how obligation isn’t a dirty word. We share how it’s a true-to-our-promise commitment that serves as the best foundation for a healthy marriage and give you three things to remember when you don’t feel “in love.”

The 4 Stages of Marital Culture Shock

1. The Honeymoon Stage
2. The Frustration Stage
3. The Adjustment Stage
4. The Acceptance Stage

3 Things to Remember When You Don’t “Feel” In-Love

1. You won’t break if you bend.
2. Compatible couples have conflict.
3. Bad habits take time to break.

Us Time Challenge

Figure out an area you can bend in this week. Don’t share it with your spouse. Instead, put it into practice and see if your spouse notices.

Team Us Resources

• Team Us: The Unifying Power of Grace, Commitment, and Cooperation in Marriage (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/)
• FREE Team Us Study Guide (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/free-team-us-study-guide/)

Connect with Ted and Ashleigh

• Website (https://ashleighslater.com/)
• Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/ashleighslater_author/)
• Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/ashleighslaterauthor)
Why a Boring Marriage Can Be a Good Marriage
November 15, 2022 - 19 min
We often look at each other and say, “We’re so glad we have a boring marriage.” You might think that sounds crazy—and maybe it does! After all, boring isn’t the adjective most of us want to describe our marriages. But we’re not talking about boring as many of us narrowly define the term: dull, uninteresting, tiresome. We’re putting a new spin on the word!

Listen in as we share three things that characterize a boring marriage. You’ll also hear some practical ways you can have one. By the time we’re done, we hope you’ll see why boring marriages are underrated!

3 Characteristics of a Boring Marriage

1. It’s a drama-free zone
2. Commitment outweighs personal fulfillment
3. No power-couple status required

3 Ways to Have a Boring Marriage

1. Pick your “yeses” wisely
2. Pick your comparisons wisely
3. Pick your friends and advisors wisely

Us Time Challenge

Listen to Ben Rector’s song, “Crazy.” Plan an afternoon or evening together based on one of the “crazy” marriage moments he sings about.

Team Us Resources

• Team Us: The Unifying Power of Grace, Commitment, and Cooperation in Marriage (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/)
• FREE Team Us Study Guide (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/free-team-us-study-guide/)

Connect with Ted and Ashleigh

• Website (https://ashleighslater.com/)
• Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/ashleighslater_author/)
• Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/ashleighslaterauthor)
Why Date Night Matters and How to Make It Happen
November 8, 2022 - 28 min
We’ve gone on many fun dates in our twenty years of marriage! Listen in as we do a not-so-rapid-fire Q&A round sharing highlights from our top dates over the years. You’ll hear about our unplanned convertible ride through the desert, the time we flew kites in the park, our dinner date that included a lot of fake blood, and our evening in a castle.

Even though we’ve made it a priority over the years to date each other, we know that in certain seasons of life, it can be challenging to make date night a reality. Sometimes as couples, we can even wonder, “What’s the point? We’re already married!” But date night isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity! Hear why we believe date night matters and learn creative and practical ways to make it a consistent reality in your marriage.

4 Practical Ways to Make Date Night a Reality:

1. Determine together that date night is a necessity
2. Be flexible on the when and how long of date night
3. Adjust expectations to fit your current season of life
4. Schedule weeknight dates to break up the monotony

Us Time Challenge

Plan a date for this week! Put it on the calendar and make it happen. If you’re not sure what to do or where to go, plan your date based on one of these categories we shared:

• Dinner Date
• Outdoor Date
• Special Occasion Date
• Event Date
• Home Date

Team Us Resources:

• Team Us: The Unifying Power of Grace, Commitment, and Cooperation in Marriage (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/)
• FREE Team Us Study Guide (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/free-team-us-study-guide/)

Links Mentioned in This Episode:

• “Better Decisions” message from Chad Moore at Sun Valley Community Church (https://www.sunvalleycc.com/sermons/in-everything-you-do/better-decisions)

• 15 Fun Date Night Ideas That Won’t Break the Bank from Darlene Schacht (https://timewarpwife.com/20-date-night-ideas-dont-break-bank/)

Connect with Ted and Ashleigh:

• Website (https://ashleighslater.com/)
• Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/ashleighslater_author/)
• Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/ashleighslaterauthor)
How to Reconnect When Life Pulls You Apart (New Season Starts Today!)
November 1, 2022 - 21 min
It's taken us over a year to bring you season two of the Team Us podcast. But we’re finally back behind the mics, and we have a lot of good reasons why it’s taken us so long. Listen in as we share about our cross-country move, road-trip stops, house-building woes, and our impromptu lunch with Russians.

We’re not just reconnecting with you, though. We’re also sharing practical ways you can reconnect with your spouse. The busyness of life often leaves us as couples feeling disconnected or like we’re growing apart. But it doesn’t have to be this way! Learn four ways you can reconnect when life pulls you apart.

4 Practical Steps to Help You Reconnect

1.Check in
2.Course correct
3.Date each other
4.Go back to the beginning

Us Time Challenge:

This week, go back to the beginning. Rediscover something you enjoyed doing together when you first got married, and make time for it.

Team Us Resources

• Team Us: The Unifying Power of Grace, Commitment, and Cooperation in Marriage (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/)
• FREE Team Us Study Guide (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/free-team-us-study-guide/)

Links Mentioned in This Episode

• What You Can Learn from History’s Most Infamous Couple: https://bit.ly/3Nmpghf

Connect with Ted and Ashleigh

• Website (https://ashleighslater.com/)
• Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/ashleighslater_author/)
• Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/ashleighslaterauthor)
Why Right Now Matters to the Long-term of Your Marriage
June 29, 2021 - 18 min
We all want to finish well as couples, right? We sure do!

Well, it’s the daily decisions we make individually and together that influence how our marriages fare in the long run. Because of this, it’s important to be purposeful to live out the day-to-day in a way that positively affects the years to come.

So how can we keep moving toward the finish line united? Listen in as we share why right now matters to the long-term of your marriage. You’ll hear how the choices you make today affect your relationship tomorrow, next year, and even a decade from now.

2 Ways to Help You Finish Well
1. Make today’s decisions with a long-term perspective
2. Have a realistic view of your own weaknesses

Us Time Challenge
Visit a cemetery this week. Walk slowly through it and read the epitaphs. Think about your marriage as you do. What do you want those closest to you to say about your marriage when it’s wrapped up? What can you do now to help make that legacy a reality?

***
Team Us Resources:
Team Us: The Unifying Power of Grace, Commitment, and Cooperation in Marriage
FREE Team Us Study Guide

Connect with Ted and Ashleigh:
Website | Instagram | Facebook

Episode Image Credit: Getty/Tanya St
What a Friendship Inventory Is and Why Your Marriage Needs One
June 22, 2021 - 24 min
Today, we’re talking about how the friends we keep make a difference in our marriages. It’s not only important that as couples we have community, but also that we’re purposeful in whom we bring into our confidence.

So, we’re going to share what we call a “friendship inventory” you can do to make sure you’re confiding in the right people. It’s also a helpful tool to determine whether you’re being this kind of friend to others.

Plus, if you’re struggling to even have the right people in your life, we’ll share some ways you can seek out these kinds of friendships.

Friendship Inventory Questions:

1.Does this friend esteem marriage?
2.Does this friend view the opposite sex with respect?
3.Does this friend build up my marriage and not just me?

Ways to Develop Godly Friendships:

1.Join a church that values marriage
2.Get involved in that church
3.Become members of a small group

Us Time Challenge

Take the friendship inventory to see how you’re doing at being a friend who esteems marriage, respects the opposite sex, and builds up your friends’ marriages. Think about ways you can do better.

***
Team Us Resources:
Team Us: The Unifying Power of Grace, Commitment, and Cooperation in Marriage
FREE Team Us Study Guide

Connect with Ted and Ashleigh:
Website | Instagram | Facebook

Episode Image Credit: Getty/Nadya Ustyuzhantseva
How You and Your Spouse Can Better Parent as a Team
June 15, 2021 - 24 min
We’ll tell you that having kids is well worth the effort. There’s nothing like it. We’ve found that God uses parenting to refine and change us in a way other things can’t. That said, parenting has been one of our most challenging team efforts yet.

Sometimes the different upbringings and different personalities we’ve brought to our marriage complicate rather than contribute to and enrich our parenting. We’ve had to work hard not to allow these areas of difference to divide us.

While we’re definitely not parenting experts, we’ve learned a few things along the way about how to parent together. So, listen in as we share three things you can do to better parent as a team.

3 Ways to Better Parent as a Team:
1. Appreciate each other’s perspectives
2. Learn from each other’s approaches
3. Actively support one another’s parenting choices

***
Us Time Challenge:

We know that we don’t want to use our words to tear each other down. The thing is, we can actually speak words of life. Think of some specific ways you can encourage your spouse as a parent, and build them up in the eyes of your children.

***
Team Us Resources:
Team Us: The Unifying Power of Grace, Commitment, and Cooperation in Marriage
FREE Team Us Study Guide

Connect with Ted and Ashleigh:
Website | Instagram | Facebook

Episode Image Credit: Getty/Oleksandra-Bezverkha
What You Can Do to Brave Sorrow Together in Your Marriage
June 8, 2021 - 24 min
Sometimes we sit back and wonder how we made it through our weeping years. But here we are, still married, still friends, and still liking each other. It wasn’t easy to remain united when miscarriage, multiple job losses, debt, and a house that wouldn’t sell desperately fought to pull us apart. While an attitude of “us vs. the problem” helped, we realized we couldn’t stop with the idea of us against the world. We needed more.

Today, we’re talking about how to walk together through the really hard situations, seasons, and losses that we experience as couples. We’re looking at what we can do to remain a strong team during them. So, listen in as we share three practical things you can do to better brave sorrow together in your marriage.

4 Ways to Brave Sorrow Together:

1. Refuse to play the blame game
2. Face defeat together
3. Allow freedom to grief differently from each other
4. Point each other back to God’s character

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Us Time Challenge:
Make a list of the ways God has been faithful to you as a couple. Tape it to your fridge or bathroom mirror as a reminder of His goodness even in difficulty.

***
Team Us Resources:
Team Us: The Unifying Power of Grace, Commitment, and Cooperation in Marriage
FREE Team Us Study Guide

Links Mentioned in This Episode:
Braving Sorrow Together: The Transformative Power of Faith and Community When Life Is Hard

***
Connect with Ted and Ashleigh:
Website | Instagram | Facebook

Episode Image Credit: Getty/Rudzhan Nagiev
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